2061

"Don't know how the deer can stand them", say I. "They're not fussy eaters.  Plus, they have a different digestive system from ours." "And probably no taste buds." Says Kenny, "It really gives the lie to how spoiled and entitled us white folk are, doesn't it." "I'll say it does." "Extra Parmesan on my caesar salad please, and it better be authentic Parmesan from the city of Parma in Italy.  And those croutons have to be artisanal gluten free sourdough before they touch my precious lips." "Not to mention all those other things that have touched your precious lips, dear." "You really have morphed into one deliciously wicked little bitch, Christopher", says Kenny, chuckling. "i was taught by the best, dear." "Oh you flatterer, you." And now we are coming out to the West Canyon Trail.  More a wooded ravine, actually with alders and giant pacific maples cascading down to the bottom....

2060

"Are they edible?" "Deer eat them", says Kenny.  "And they have been used by First Nations as emergency food and for medicine." "I wonder how they taste?" "Try one." "After you, darling." "Oh, you do know how to set a girl's heart aflutter."  Kenny bends over and breaks off the tip of one of the slender delicate fronds, then tears it in half. handing me a piece.  "Here.  I think they're supposed to be cooked first." We stop midtrail, facing each other, then Kenny says, "Okay, on the count of three...One...Two...Three...."  and we simultaneously pop the little pieces of fern into our mouths.  And now we are simultaneously spitting them out. "You were right.  They should be cooked first...cooked for a very long time." "Hey, here's some more salmonberries to get rid of the taste in our mouths."  And the flavour is, if nothing else,  very bitter...

2059

"But you never said anything, not to me anyway." "It didn't seem appropriate.  Plus, Jim was getting worried about the influence I was having on you.  In fact, the following day, while you were in school and he was supposed to be enjoying his day off, we lingered at the breakfast table.  I brought it up, said that I saw and heard everything.  Your dad got up, poured us both coffee refills, looked at me with those questioning blue eyes of his and asked me straightforward if I had taught you to do this.  I wasn't going to answer but felt nervous and cornered...you know how good your dad was at doing that... so I just said, Busted. He doesn't need to learn any more, was all he said, and I simply said, yeah, you're right.  so...by mutual consent, I decided not to tell you. "But you were still proud of me.  I mean, Griffin simply would not stop trying to turn me into his own personal boy and that seemed the best way of stopping him, right there, in the coffee hour following solemn mass, right in front of everyone, and I told him that if he wanted to see me that badly then he would have to start paying me, one hundred bucks, or I would squeal to everyone that he was sexually harassing me," "Which he was." "Did Dad know that you were proud of me?" "I knew better than to do anything further to jeopardize our friendship...Wow, look at those deer ferns, they are so abundant this year..." 

2058

"Hey, that's my line." "Show me the copyright, dear." "And you never said anything.." We have to wait before continuing the conversation because we first have to get across Chancellor Boulevard alive. Not too difficult, just two cars and a hideous, but aren't they all, SUV coming from the left, and this one has their blinding LED lights in full obnoxious glory, despite the bright spring day we should be enjoying. And the piece of work at the steering wheel is not about to stop for us no matter how much space he has, but now he is gone, and with him, the most odious thudding of a rap soundtrack that is raging through the dark tinted windows. Now we are on the grassy median, and the coast is clear as we find our way to the next trail, almost but not directly across from the one on the other side. "Where were you?" "I was in my room having a little nap when I heard you come in. I was going to come down and say hi, I did make it to the kitchen doorway. Neither you or Jim could see me, both your backs were turned, but there was the hundred bucks you extorted from him on the table and I heard everything, but thought it wise to return upstairs and wait things out a bit. Twenty minutes later, the doorbell was chiming, and when I heard that reptile's voice my blood started to freeze, but I simply sat on the top of the stairs, listening and then when Father Griffin was out of there I went back to my room. Oh, but I felt so proud of both of you, just as I do now, knowing how well I had taught you. And you were then just a seventeen year old church boy, but you handled him like a seasoned pro." "Father Griffin left me alone after that." "Only because a few days later, I arranged a little interview with him. We met in a coffee shop, where I told him about my own, shall we say, illustrious career on the pavement. I also told him that every single one of the rent boys that had serviced him, including Donny, Dale, and Patrick, were personal friends of mine, and I told Robert Griffin that if he ever bothered you again, then I would go public about his little indiscretions, and I mean really public..." I have just put a bright red salmonberry, a big one in my mouth, and the wine flavoured richness is filling my tongue. "I really don't know how to thank you, Kenny." "Think nothing of it, friend", he replies, clasping my shoulder with his hand, "Think nothing at all about it. Shall we make our way over to the West Canyon Trail?"

2057

"Nothing like a few years of sucking dicks for a living to put a girl off sex and men forever." "That was exactly Carl's experience after three years of working the canals as a teenage rentboy in Amsterdam", say I. We are taking a downhill trail, Spanish Trail I believe, towards Chancellor Boulevard. This is a delightful part of the forest, very deciduous with lots of tall alders. And so vibrantly green and fragrant. "I have really missed this place, " says Kenny. "You must have found even better places for hiking on the island." "There are a lot of trails along various parts of the Cowichan River that I spend time exploring, but this place has its own unique magic." The trail is finally opening onto the boulevard, which is flanked by forest, with very few cars. "I still remember that time when Jim summoned Father Griffin to the house to pick up the blackmail money you extorted from him." "Were you actually in the house at the time?" "Yep." "You were spying on us?" "In spades, baby, in spades..."

2056

"Father Griffin returned to Vancouver, and to St James, an apparently changed man.  We had a very emotional reconciliation at the altar rail in the Blessed Sacrament Chapel, and eventually he became sort of my de facto spiritual director,  I was caring for the dying, then dad died..." "Yes, I remember when you told me on Facebook.  That was very hard news for me, because Jim was like my own brother." "Which would make you my de facto uncle.  hmm, we seem to have our share of de factos today."  It is a narrow entrance into a narrow forest trail, partly fenced off to prevent bicycles.  The trees are dense here, and the shade is refreshing.  "Anyway, Robert took a pastoral interest in me and could see that I was running on empty.  He was already involved with Carl's family and the operations of their mansion, which they had decided to turn into a retreat centre." "So you were recommended for a retreat...Hey, look, ripe salmonberries already and it's still May  Oh, these are delicious, here I've left you some."  and they are.  Our own answer to the raspberry, a bit milder, more watery, but I also remember picking bucketfuls, then bringing them home and Dad making them into one of the most exquisite jellies I had ever tasted. "So Carl fell in love with you there and now you two are living happily ever after." " Not quite." "Do you sleep together?" "Never." "Dude, he has eyes only for you.  I will help keep him at bay.". I am saying nor doing anything to encourage this.  "He asked me to marry him, a couple of weeks ago." "and..." "Said I'm not ready." "Do you love him?" "Well, yes and no." "but not like THAT!" and now we are both laughing. "He is very good looking", say I. "That he is. "but we are both off sex.  I would say that we are both asexual now. So what's the point?"

2055

As we are leaving the house through the front door I am mentioning to Kenny, "I don't know how to thank you for getting me out of here." "Think nothing of it darling.  Our cute little millionaire is quite the life support for codependency...Where did you say you found him?" "Remember Father Griffin?"  Kenny is taking the lead as he always used to on our walks together. "Oh my God.  Him?"  Then he says, "Wow has this neighbourhood ever changed.  Just look at all the brand new tacky mcmansions.  They are the architectural equivalent of extremely tacky over-the-top-drag."  And now he lets off a melodramatic shudder. "Well, not long after you disappeared, Father Griffin went through quite the dramatic conversion in Switzerland in none other than the Christian community that Carl's mom was in charge of." "what!  Are you serious?  How did he get there?" "Oh, British Airways or Lufthansa, I would imagine.  Maybe Air Canada." "Oh Christopher, you have lost none of your old wit." "He has his connections.  It is a terribly long and complicated story.  They first met here when Carl was eighteen and his sister thirteen and that was just after their old man was shot dead and they were on the run hitchhiking in case they would be next.  They were picked up by Robert's boyfriend, some rich banker, and spent several weeks in his big fancy house near Maple Ridge where he bought sex off of Carl in exchange for letting them both stay there.  Anyway, they managed to get out using blackmail, and with the money, got to the Dutch Consulate in Vancouver and they helped fly them back to Holland. Their mother moved them to Switzerland where she could keep a close eye on her rebel boy.  When Griffin showed up and won them over with his charm, Carl and Melissa threatened to out him to everybody, and then and there he truly fell to his knees at the foot of the cross." "So how does that connect you to Carl?"