2026

Ethan is looking rather intense and frustrated right now, his folded fists resting in his lap while his tapping foot and restless leg say everything else. "I sometimes actually believe them", he is saying.  "Often.  that these really are just delusions, that I really am sick..."  and now looking up at us, his face twisted in distaste,..."and I will probably have to go back on meds..." "Except for one little detail, Ethan", says Kenny, "We just saw you, only just a moment ago, standing towering in our midst in the shimmering green and golden robes of Tron.  But now we have to learn to live as ordinary, but eccentric and rather strange, queer men in the here and now of 2021  For me not at all difficult because for years I lived in and out of drag as Cassandra, and still must coexist with Harriet, my female alter ego... "That must have been hard", says Erik. "Darling", says Kenny, now channelling Harriet, "it is amazing what a girl can get used to when she has to...

2024

"So, where does this leave us now?" say I, after returning Ethan's plate to the kitchen where I finished the washing up.  Carl and Erik were too distracted by his coming to finish the job right, and the counter still needed a good wiping. "Somewhere on Alison Road, UBC", quips Kenny. "Kenny", says Francois, "Would you like your old bedroom back?" "Then where are you going to sleep?" "Erik and I will both be occupying the den and the office.  They already have nice sofa beds and bedding and stuff." "No, I can sleep down here.  In a way I prefer it.  I don't want to time travel while living here again." "What are you going to do about your florist shop in Duncan?" says Erik  "Kim is going to be only Kim and not Thera so she can manage things in the meantime.  Her Thera self is back at the refuge with our lord. and with Thaddai", says Ethan...

2025

"Ethan", continues Kenny. "It is time to stop pretending, dear.  Kim was your foster mom. She took you in when you were thirteen, then she legally adopted you.  Thaddai is really Tim, her son by her second marriage, which also came to an end. " "They were my friends in Damascus," "Time to forget Damascus, and the Refuge, not Jesus, he is always with us.  But we have to stop living in other realms and start living again in the here and now, because now that is all we have." "But this isn't all that we are." "Of course not.  But if you don't want to end up a blithering mess of wasted genetic material languishing on meds in a locked ward again then you are going to have to live the lie with the rest of us.  We can no longer have it both ways." "I am Tron.  Also Adrian, formerly of ancient Armenia, then Necodemia, then Damascus and finally Jerusalem where I was martyred."  And now he is indeed Tron, standing and a gleaming glory of emerald and golden robes towering in our midst.  And yes, we are all seeing him now in his glorified form, but the glory now is diminishing, and again standing there, in T shirt and shorts, Ethan, random bike dude, foster child and mental patient.  He resumes his seat. "It doesn't have to be either or", says Kenny.  "It is also both and, Ethan.  But we have to live where we are." 

2023

"that just doesn't square...at all", says Erik. "Have you always lived in the same place?" "In a farm house near Cobble Hill." "And surely you have neighbours." "We have a few." "And surely some of them have noticed that a middle aged woman and two young men staying the same as they were twenty-five years ago...must be a little bit...odd?" "They don't know", says Ethan. "They don't know...what? "That our being nearby also affects their own perceptions of time and space.  Everyone there is in a state of collective unknowing." "How could that be?" "That was then, but now that the two dimensions have converged, both Thera and Thaddai ar back at the Refuge, as permanent guests, and I alone have been given dispensation to dwell here among you." "Ethan", says Kenny. "Sometime very soon, you and I are going to have to have a little talk.

2022

"Wait a minute", says Carl, evidently doing mental math calculations, "How many years ago was that again?" "Twenty-five." "Were you even born yet", he says to Ethan. "I was much the same as I am now.  As were both Thaddai and Thera, or Kim.  Thaddai is now known as Duncan, after the town where we are living..." "And you are now off your meds." "I am speaking the truth", says Ethan, calmly and without any drama in his voice. Kenny has rather a strange look on his face right now, but he is not saying anything. Yes, i remember that look very well, pure unfliltered distaste, when he knows he has just been handed a plaetter of bullshit and is still wondering who to dump it all over. "Curiouser  and curiouser", say I. "What exactly was the name of those pills again", says Francois drily, "You know, the ones that Mother gave you..." "Suddenly Kenny glares at Tron and says, "Ethan, you did not even show up at our doorstep till just fifteen yeas ago when you were a scrawny little thirteen year old." Ethan bows his head quietly, not quite ready to dignify him with an answer...

2021

"Are you still taking meds?" say I. "My mom helped me go off them, the mental health team tried to get a court order to get me back on them, but except for my so-called delusions, the court psychiatrists found me to be coping very well within the accepted boundaries for things." "Does your mother know where you are?" says Carl, trying to use humour to dull the ache of jealousy. "Kim knows everything about us, including the Refuge, where she has also visited", says Kenny. "Kim", says Tron, "is also Thaddai's mother, Thera, and yes, Thaddai also lives with her in Duncan, and works part time in the florist shop." "The family that deludes together colludes together", quips Kenny, laughing. "But you guys also saved my life. You were the ones who fished me out of the water and brought me to our Lord for healing

2020

"There would be more room in the house in New West", says Carl in the subdued rigid tone that can be best understood as fluent jealous boyfriend, even though we are not boyfriends.   "I am supposed to be here", says Ethan. "Orders?" says Kenny. "Exactly so.  Orders. "Welcome", says Francois, getting up and extending his hand to Ethan, who stands up and enfolds him in an affectionate bearhug. "Where have you been living previously?" asks Erik, always the practical Swede. "Apart from the dream sequences of being in that mansion, and my sense of really being an early Christian martyr, I was forced to live with my mother by court order." "Court order?" say I.  "What were you doing" "I was living in a shared house with other students, but started going around naked.  I would tie my keys and wallet around my neck, then get on my bike and ride to school...I also wore my helmet...in my birthday suit." "Whatever for?" says Carl. "i was often reliving the trauma of being crucified, of hanging naked for total public exposure.  Somehow, it helped me feel close to God, and then I landed in a locked room at the Eric Martin institute.  I was diagnosed with schizoaffective and schizotypal disorder, put on meds and ordered to live with Mom...