2066

"What I want to know is where I might happen to know him from.  And Stella.  That name is almost too familiar.  Carl knew her?" "Well, more than twenty years ago when they were both renting out their wares in Amsterdam." "And she's here now.  Right?" "Wait, it's coming back to me now."  We have both just sat down  on a log by the side of the trail, surrounded by cedar trees.  "I was driving us down to the new house in New West.  Intersection of Kingsway and Victoria, there she was.  She climbed into the car.  We went to New West, did a tour of the house, but how come I remember it as not having a stick of furniture when I know that they already bought and had it moved  there?  I still, in some parallel memory, have this image of a couch, some chairs, a rug. a coffee table, a kitchen table and chairs but now it is all bare again." "That piece of paper François put on the fridge door today, held up by my fridge magnet  When we get back we should have a look at it." "Wasn't that a grocery list?" "It was something altogether different, but for the life of me, I cannot remember what it was.  So anyway, you were all at the mental health team." "Yes, Trevor, my new worker.  But he kind of came and now he's gone again.  He did stop for coffee with us at the café across the street from the mental health team, but all that is blurry and very strange." "Strange how?" I am not sure how to answer him, because even I have no corresponding image in my memory.  "It's all a blur.  And then you came in with Amaris, your friend from the island." "She works with us in the store, but spends a week with her parents in Richmond once a month."   "And when you two showed up, all of them, Caspar, Stella, and Trevor, were gone..."

2065

We are retracing our steps uphill, and by silent consensus, we are simply refusing to go all the way downhill, to the very bottom.  Neither of us really wants to exhaust ourselves climbing back up the ravine on the other side.  A slightly portly elderly man wearing a porkpie hat and a blue orange, green and yellow and red Hawaiian shirt beautifully offsetting his lavish white moustache approaches us with his two airedale dogs securely on leash.  With a broad smile and an accent that must be London middle class, he wishes us both a good afternoon. "Good afternoon to you too, sir", chimes Kenny most cheerily, followed by my inexpressive hello. "Just as deadpan as ever, Chris, " he says. Not caring to respond, I say, "So we were first at the mental health team, me, Erik, Carl, Caspar, and what's-her-face...Stella. Yes, Stella.  It's beginning to come back now.  We were in a conference with my new case manager, Trevor.  And Stella had some things to say, because then she was a professional dominatrix in Amsterdam when she first knew Carl.  My psychiatrist still lived in Holland, was one of her regular clients, and right there and then she exposed him to everybody." "Right there in the mental health team?" says Kenny, surprised and delighted. "Yes, right there." "Right in front of you, his patient?" "Yep." "Why how deliciously wicked", he shrills with a girlish squeal.  "How deliciously fucking wicked!" "Oh, and Caspar was also there, too...."

2064

"Should we go after him?" I say, suddenly anxious, especially because we both know this kid, but are struggling to place him. "Nah, it's too late, he's gone now.  Jeez, that kid is fast." "You know him?" "Well, shouldn't I?  Shouldn't we?"  And now we are staring at each other, dumbfounded, and both very very confused.  "Wait a minute..Wait a minute."  And I remember that look on Kenny's face from thirty years ago, when he was ready to massacre all the smug pious idiots in church for treating him like he was from outer space.  "Where do we know him from?  Think, Christopher...Think!" "Yesterday.  Coffee shop in New West, with what was her name, It escapes me.  Tran...Transwoman." "You can say tranny around me, if you want, dear.  I hate politically correct bullshit just as much as the next queen." "Then we went for lunch: Carl, me, Erik, and those two, then back to Vancouver, then to the mental health team..."

2063

At first I see nothing but blue skies and yellow green leaves, but now I see something moving, bright yellow with a red head.  It appears to know it has just been seen, and now it is gone. "I've never seen one of those before.  It's beautiful.  Dad was quite a birder in his later years, and he despaired of ever seeing one, and then, shortly after, he died." We are both suddenly silent as we share the sadness that will never entirely leave either of us alone.  As we are turning to go back, there appears to be someone approaching us, a figure dressed all in black, hoodie covering his head, by all appearances, a young man or teenage boy.  His large dark eyes dart warily in our direction as he passes us, saying nothing.  Kenny and I both look at each other.  We know him.  His name...his name...then Kenny calls in his direction..."Caspar!" At first, it is a struggle to place him..and now I remember...Just the other day...the Waves Coffee shop in New Westminster...that formidable transwoman going after him and bodily dragging him to our table...and now the boy has disappeared from our view...

2062

"You know", says Kenny, " It is just amazing how the First Nations people were able to survive here in this region with none of the imported or fancy or convenient foods we all take for granted.  They hunted and fished with incredible skill, knew what plants to eat, what not to eat, how to prepare and preserve their food without gas or electricity, or microwaves, or food processors or juicers nor any of the fancy gadgets we all take for granted.  No refrigerators or freezers, hell they didn't even have polished granite or marble countertops." "And yet, if you or I found ourselves stranded anywhere in the coastal wilderness", say I, "we would likely starve to death if they didn't find us in time."   "Do you know how to make a fire without matches or a lighter?" "Exactly so.  How did they do it?" "And to think that they lived this way and thrived for thousands of years.  And not to mention their incredible knowledge of medicinal plants." Say I, "With colonization, genocide, cultural eradiction, and so many elders dying before they could pass on the knowledge, how absolutely poor we are now." Suddenly Kenny is pointing to his right.  "Do you see it?  Over there, on that bare branch, the bright yellow bird.  A western tanager..."

2061

"Don't know how the deer can stand them", say I. "They're not fussy eaters.  Plus, they have a different digestive system from ours." "And probably no taste buds." Says Kenny, "It really gives the lie to how spoiled and entitled us white folk are, doesn't it." "I'll say it does." "Extra Parmesan on my caesar salad please, and it better be authentic Parmesan from the city of Parma in Italy.  And those croutons have to be artisanal gluten free sourdough before they touch my precious lips." "Not to mention all those other things that have touched your precious lips, dear." "You really have morphed into one deliciously wicked little bitch, Christopher", says Kenny, chuckling. "i was taught by the best, dear." "Oh you flatterer, you." And now we are coming out to the West Canyon Trail.  More a wooded ravine, actually with alders and giant pacific maples cascading down to the bottom....

2060

"Are they edible?" "Deer eat them", says Kenny.  "And they have been used by First Nations as emergency food and for medicine." "I wonder how they taste?" "Try one." "After you, darling." "Oh, you do know how to set a girl's heart aflutter."  Kenny bends over and breaks off the tip of one of the slender delicate fronds, then tears it in half. handing me a piece.  "Here.  I think they're supposed to be cooked first." We stop midtrail, facing each other, then Kenny says, "Okay, on the count of three...One...Two...Three...."  and we simultaneously pop the little pieces of fern into our mouths.  And now we are simultaneously spitting them out. "You were right.  They should be cooked first...cooked for a very long time." "Hey, here's some more salmonberries to get rid of the taste in our mouths."  And the flavour is, if nothing else,  very bitter...