2023

"that just doesn't square...at all", says Erik. "Have you always lived in the same place?" "In a farm house near Cobble Hill." "And surely you have neighbours." "We have a few." "And surely some of them have noticed that a middle aged woman and two young men staying the same as they were twenty-five years ago...must be a little bit...odd?" "They don't know", says Ethan. "They don't know...what? "That our being nearby also affects their own perceptions of time and space.  Everyone there is in a state of collective unknowing." "How could that be?" "That was then, but now that the two dimensions have converged, both Thera and Thaddai ar back at the Refuge, as permanent guests, and I alone have been given dispensation to dwell here among you." "Ethan", says Kenny. "Sometime very soon, you and I are going to have to have a little talk.

2022

"Wait a minute", says Carl, evidently doing mental math calculations, "How many years ago was that again?" "Twenty-five." "Were you even born yet", he says to Ethan. "I was much the same as I am now.  As were both Thaddai and Thera, or Kim.  Thaddai is now known as Duncan, after the town where we are living..." "And you are now off your meds." "I am speaking the truth", says Ethan, calmly and without any drama in his voice. Kenny has rather a strange look on his face right now, but he is not saying anything. Yes, i remember that look very well, pure unfliltered distaste, when he knows he has just been handed a plaetter of bullshit and is still wondering who to dump it all over. "Curiouser  and curiouser", say I. "What exactly was the name of those pills again", says Francois drily, "You know, the ones that Mother gave you..." "Suddenly Kenny glares at Tron and says, "Ethan, you did not even show up at our doorstep till just fifteen yeas ago when you were a scrawny little thirteen year old." Ethan bows his head quietly, not quite ready to dignify him with an answer...

2021

"Are you still taking meds?" say I. "My mom helped me go off them, the mental health team tried to get a court order to get me back on them, but except for my so-called delusions, the court psychiatrists found me to be coping very well within the accepted boundaries for things." "Does your mother know where you are?" says Carl, trying to use humour to dull the ache of jealousy. "Kim knows everything about us, including the Refuge, where she has also visited", says Kenny. "Kim", says Tron, "is also Thaddai's mother, Thera, and yes, Thaddai also lives with her in Duncan, and works part time in the florist shop." "The family that deludes together colludes together", quips Kenny, laughing. "But you guys also saved my life. You were the ones who fished me out of the water and brought me to our Lord for healing

2020

"There would be more room in the house in New West", says Carl in the subdued rigid tone that can be best understood as fluent jealous boyfriend, even though we are not boyfriends.   "I am supposed to be here", says Ethan. "Orders?" says Kenny. "Exactly so.  Orders. "Welcome", says Francois, getting up and extending his hand to Ethan, who stands up and enfolds him in an affectionate bearhug. "Where have you been living previously?" asks Erik, always the practical Swede. "Apart from the dream sequences of being in that mansion, and my sense of really being an early Christian martyr, I was forced to live with my mother by court order." "Court order?" say I.  "What were you doing" "I was living in a shared house with other students, but started going around naked.  I would tie my keys and wallet around my neck, then get on my bike and ride to school...I also wore my helmet...in my birthday suit." "Whatever for?" says Carl. "i was often reliving the trauma of being crucified, of hanging naked for total public exposure.  Somehow, it helped me feel close to God, and then I landed in a locked room at the Eric Martin institute.  I was diagnosed with schizoaffective and schizotypal disorder, put on meds and ordered to live with Mom...

2019

He seems visibly shaken as he pours over again the document, then appears to be reading and studying it again.  Then he picks up the pen and signs both pages "That was Jesus who greeted us in the garden.", say I to Ethan. "And he returned me to the Refuge with him.  We talked together.  He said that I should not continue the theme with you that we were discussing together this morning, and then he told me I was free to return, but also warned me that I would forget again.  I always forget." "We always forget", says Kenny.  "I live in my mother's condo in Duncan, and you deliver flowers for my florist business.  I would give you a raise, but you should know that I have just retired.  However, I could put in a good word for you to Kim." "i'm going to be living here, if that's okay with you guys", he says, gesturing to his backpack.  "Is there room?" "We have two nice bedrooms available in the basement", I reply.  "I will show them to you after lunch and you can pick either one..."

2018

Ethan has just removed his bike helmet, which he is resting on his left knee and he is carefully studying Kenny's hand drafted document.  Carl has just placed before him on the coffee table a plate loaded with Costco potato salad, buttered sourdough bread, cheese and tomato slices and large black olives from a tin.  "Thanks", he says without looking up. He further studies the document, then looks perplexed, "Could you explain this to me please?" "Does nothing here ring familiar to you, Ethan", says Kenny. "Kenny!" he says suddenly, turning to look at my old friend. "So you do remember me." "I was working in your florist shop...in Duncan...Remember?  I was doing bike deliveries. "And you spent the night with us in Carl's mansion near Chilliwack." "That I did." I have just sat down on Ethan's right.  "Do you remember none of the story you were telling us?" "Before I started working for Kenny two years ago, I was studying ancient church history at Malaspina College.  So I was telling you about what it was like under the persecutions of Diocletian." "What else do you remember", says Carl, pulling up a chair from the dining room table. "We were eating chocolate chips and drinking milk like a bunch of kids.  It was lots of fun." "The next morning, you came into the bathroom while I was stepping out of the shower", say I.  "We were both naked." His handsome olive toned face is reddening and he mumbles, "Sorry." "Nothing to be at all sorry about.  We both comported ourselves like chaste Christian gentlemen." And Ethan sputters, "Yeah, dammit", and now we are all laughing. "And then, after we were both dressed, we went onto the grounds through the gardens, to a southern magnolia tree in early bloom.  There were two peacocks, a blue and a green one, and there was a beautiful teenage boy waiting for us, and then you two went off together..." Ethan's eyes are widening, and yes he is now remembering.  "Oh my God", he says, dropping his fork on the plate..."Oh my God!"

2017

"Ethan", say I, simultaneously shocked, delighted and irritated, "How did you find us here?" "I saw your car pass me when I arrived in New Westminster, so I thought of following you.  I almost went in to visit you in the big old mansion in Queen's Park, but there were too many people around so I rode away, but when I came back your car was just leaving, so I continued to follow. "Would you like to come in for lunch?  We are still eating and there's lots of food."  And I am remembering my own father's tradition of hospitality which, despite my own selfish and solitary nature, I am bound and determined to uphold, if only to honour his memory while living in his house. "If it wouldn't be too much trouble." "No trouble at all.  And please take off your shoes, if you don't mind.  Thanks, you can just leave them over here." "François, this is Ethan, who spent the night with us in the mansion.  He was so taken by our hospitality he decided to follow us all the way here on his bike." "I remember you", says Francois.  "From the Refuge.  Your name is Tron." "Ethan", he says politely. "Come sit with me here on the couch.  Christopher will bring you some lunch, won't you please, Christopher?" "Oh, you don't have to ask. "  Francois is showing him the document he has just drafted out and which we have all signed...