The Peacock 1921

"What made you convert?" say I. "My experience of you Anglicans.  Wait a minute, both are equally corrupt, both denominations are equally full of hypocrisy and corruption.  But for all their foibles and historical crimes, the Roman Catholics at least know how to call a spade a spade.  Unlike you lying namby pamby weasley hypocritical Anglicans.  I am still surrounded by hypocrites.  But Jesus is present in the mass and no one lies to me. "He is present with us here and right now", says Carl. "Yes.  I can feel him here.  I often have dreams, sometimes visions that he is with me in person." "What does he look like?" say I. "Young.  very young, like a teenager, and so beautiful, with wild burnt golden hair and green eyes. No one is saying anything.  Carl and I have surreptitiously exchanged poignant glances.  We can talk about it later...

1920

"Dad identified your body.  I believe your parents were out of the country then" "Dad was in the UK teaching in a college in Manchester.  That was before they divorced.  Mom told me everything when we were reunited.  We hadn't been in contact for a long time, and they didn't find out till months after." "Dad had doubts that it was you.  He thought the face was too damaged for him to get a good look at you."   To Carl and Erik I say, "Sorry.  I hope this isn't too much for you guys." "No, feel free", says Carl. "I also became Catholic", says Kenny. "No kidding", say I.  And now I really don't know what to say. "I don't go to mass often.  it just seemed the next step to take.  Kim is Catholic and she started inviting me to church with her..."

1918

"That is just so..."says Erik..."So...."... "Weird?" says Carl. "Well, that too.  You were in a coma?" "After that incident in the Lion's Gate Bridge with Sven, the next thing I recalled was waking up in bed in the mansion, and there was Jesus, but I didn't know it was Jesus, just this beautiful shining kid with the most caring smile and powerful eyes I have ever seen." "You lived there all this time, Kenny?", say I. "Yes and no.  I had to start a new life and a new identity, as Benjamin Butterfield, but in Duncan I'm still Kenny." "How did that happen?" says Carl. "It is hard to explain.  Part of it is that within hours of being there. with Jesus in his mansion, it starts to fade like a dream and after a few days it is simply a vaguely remembered dream.  And then, not knowing what I am doing, I leave the flower shop in the capable hands of my business partner, get in my car and then drive to that beach in Saanich, and then.. no. I can't say any more.  it is starting to fade." "Does the same thing happen to Amaris?" say I. "Letitia.  No. Amaris.  It is all starting to fade.  Christopher, please, could we just leave it for now" "what's happening?" "Better to leave it.  It's all fading and fast.  Except for Jesus.  He said before we left that he would be always with us.  This I remember, but nothing else.  In fact, he is here in this car, though we can't see him-... he is always here.  Jesus is the Always Here..." "The Great I Am is also the great Always Here", quips Carl.  "What about you, Chris.  Do you remember where we were?" "We were overnight guests with Jesus and his elderly parents.  It was so wonderful.  Erik, do you remember?" "He showed me his wounds.  Now I believe." "Kenny", say I.  "We still remember.  Does this help you?" "It might.  It just might  We need to get hold of Amaris...hey, let me tell you all about my life in Duncan..."

The Peacock 1919

"In Duncan, just one door after another started to open for me.  And that was all thanks to Kim, who became my business partner.  Kim and I first met... No I can't remember.  But I was in  Duncan in a coffee shop and she was a friend of the owner and we had been talking for a while then her friend, Steve the owner of the café, starts telling us about a florist shop up for sale and since we both had lots of experience and Kim, thanks to a recent inheritance, had the capital. It was a walk in the park.  My mother was also living in the area, in fact, that same afternoon, I called on her to inform her that her son, Kenny, was indeed alive though living under a new identity." "That must have been quite a shock." "I couldn't tell her anything, because I didn't know anything, just that from what I could recall. And I still don't know how I remember this, someone in a boat rescued me when I fell in the water." According to what we were told in the mansion", says Carl, "you were brought there and remained for some weeks in a comatose state..." "I only remember sitting in that coffee shop with Kim." "And the rest of us here happen to remember", insists Carl. "Let's not go there."  And it is clear that for now Kenny no longer remembers and there is no point traumatizing him further...

1917

"You guys are like two peas in a pod", says Carl.  "In fact, Chris, why don't...why don't we stop long enough so Kenny and I could change seats..  It might be better for you both if you could sit together in the front here while talking." "Thanks, Carl, that's very kind, but I think we're okay."  And I don't want to complain about having to pull over and stop in mid-traffic. "We're okay, Carl", says Kenny.  "It'll be like talking on the phone.  But that is kind of you.  So, you guys read my journal together." "with Francois, yes, Chris shared it with us.  Sorry." "Nothing at all to apologize about, friend, and this does make you and I friends.  When I appeared to Christopher in order to tell him about the diary's whereabouts, it was with the idea that he would share the contents with a trusted party and now this bonds us together, you and Francois." "You appeared to Chris?" says Erik skeptically. "I must have been in coma at the time.  But in my closet was hanging a set of old fashioned leather pockets that Jim had given me from his own childhood.  The diary was in one of those pockets." "And that is exactly where I found it", say I. "Do you have it with you?" "It's in my backpack and that is behind your head by the rear window.  Do you want it back?" "No, not yet.  But I am glad to have it with us...."

1916

"How long did you live with us?" "Five years minus four months and three days. I am doing the math and this all seems to square. Kenny disappeared-I can no longer say he died-just three days before Christmas, December 22, 1996.  I had recently turned twenty.  he came to live with us, when?  Three days, would have been the twenty-fifth.  Plus four months, January Februrary, March, April.  Yes, the tulips were in their full glory the day he came to live with us.  "you were twirling in an abandonment of rapture at the sight of our tulips the day you came to live with us." "Are they still there?" "They didn't survive longer than a couple of more years.  We kind of let the garden go, I'm afraid." "Oh Christopher, you and Jim, between you must have had twenty brown thumbs." And he always referred to Dad, not as your dad, but as Jim.   "Where was your bedroom?" "Second floor next to yours, and we shared a bathroom." "Where was the bathroom?" "Both our bedrooms were at opposite ends of the hallway.  The bathroom was in between" "What direction faced the bathroom?" "From my bedroom door it was on the left."  Do I pass?" "In spades, baby, in spades!" "Oh darling, you know how to set a girl's heart aflutter!"  And now we are all laughing and Kenny and I are laughing the loudest and the hardest because those were classic coded lines in our friendship that we often used.

1913

Carl has just gotten a text from Melissa, his sister.  Next to me in the  front seat he says, "Get your ass back here right now.  The RCMP have a search warrant and they want you present for the proceedings." "What could this possibly be about?" says Erik from behind. "I'll ask her...wow, my darling little blister is right on the ball today..."they want to conduct a search with dogs for human remains tomorrow morning.  You have to be there to answer questions." "Are you driving out tonight?"  say I. "I haven't a moment to waste.  Chris, I'll buy you the next twenty tanks of gas if you don't mind turning around and driving me there." "We'll have to ask my brother-in-law." "I don't mind another adventure today", quips Erik "Kenny?" "Your wish is my command." And now I am taking a left at Arbutus, from where I am going to take Twelfth Avenue to the Trans Canada highway.