1994

First one up, first to the bathroom.  I am tempted to linger in the shower but the warm wet solitude must wait for another day... Someone else will be needing to come in, and likely right now even.  I am just towelling my head dry when there are three knocks on the door. Before I can say anything, the door opens.  It is Ethan, tall, naked and dazzlingly gorgeous.  instead of covering myself, because I simply refuse to do knee jerk modesty, I am smiling, he smiles back, comes in without so much as closing the door, and begins to pee, in the toilet, of course.  He sounds like a mighty waterfall, and his dimensions are very generous and curiously he is also circumcised.  Above the roar of his torrent he says, "Did you sleep well?" "Without dreams", say I, feeling suddenly very casual and very comfortable, naked in a small bathroom with a naked demigod. "You are wondering if I am Jewish?" says he, noticing that my eyes are on his dick, which he shakes dry while flushing the toilet.  Then he selects three squares of toilet paper with which he wipes clean the rim of the toilet.  "In a word, yes, my parents were descendents of refugees from Jerusalem when the city was destroyed in the year Seventy.  because I never lived in the barracks, though I visited frequently, no one ever saw me undressed, so I was safe from trouble..."

1993

I am back in my old room, which is Carl's old room.  Alone at last.  How I have been needing and craving solitude and soon everyone or almost everyone will be moving into that Victorian era house in New Westminster leaving me still not quite alone but with Carl, Erik, and, yes, Kenny.  those three most important people in my life.  And I want to run away from all of them because I have just gone totally Garbo on the world and I really want them all to leave me alone. I want to be alone, but now I have to sleep and solitude, to be properly enjoyed, is wasted on sleep, especially because for me, having synesthesia, sleep means dreams and more dreams, and still more dreams, all of them involving other people... I check my phone.  It is 6:36 am, and that peacock is crying again, likely from the southern magnolia tree.  I just slept seven hours uninterrupted, no dreams, this is a first, and right now I have to piss like a racehorse.

1992

Carl slumps, a dead weight, back into his chair.  And now we are feeling a collective exhaustion.  Words have failed us.  And we all know, even though no one has said as much, that we are never going to be the same again, not after this, but the words somehow are finding their way out of my mouth: "we are never going to be the same again, not after this." "Do you think he's for real?" wonders Carl. "How could he not be real", says Kenny, and now he is remembering again.  "Yes, it is clear again.  I saw a lot of Tron during my twenty-five years in and out of the Refuge.  Next to our Lord himself, one of the most beautiful and authentic beings I have ever encountered." "Did he ever refer to those experiences he just recounted?" asks Erik. "Often...Yes... Often." "So now what do we do?" asks Carl. "we return what is left of the milk to the fridge and wash the glasses, and then go to bed", say I. "Oh Chris", he says fondly, "Do you know who you really are?  You are our Common Sense Guru." "Thanks.  I think...I'm sure I've been called worse things by nicer people:" "Oh, you're such a flatterer." Says Kenny, "You never were one to mince words Chris.  That is what I've always admired about you...

1991

I have to get some sleep", says Ethan, yawning. "i'll show you to your room", says Carl getting up.  To the rest of us he says, "You guys, there are plenty of vacant rooms on this floor with beds all made up.  Christopher, could you help them please?" Once they are out of the room, Kenny turns to me and whispers, "Did you see what I just saw?" "I saw it too", says Erik,   "the green and gold robes.  That was the same person or being we saw at the refuge." We are all just completely lost for words.  We just stare stupidly into space, daring not to say anything further.  Then, reaching for the jug of milk, I say demurely, "More milk, anyone?" Erik reaches for the chocolate chips..  "You're not finished yet?" wonders Kenny, with a huge emphasis on the word yet."I guess so long as chocolate doesn't keep us up all night." "You guys ready to turn in" say I. "We should wait for Carl to come back", says Erik...

1990

We are speechless, breathless, and gobsmacked.  and now the presence that is emanating from this young man, this young man who is in reality more than seventeen hundred years old, confirms that we are not being regaled by some random bike dude we picked up along the way, but a minister and representative straight from the holy of holies.  Tron is radiant, his amber eyes flashing with divine fire and again his shorts and T-shirt are transformed before my very eyes into an emerald green tunic partly shrouded by a robe of shining gold.  The Nikes he was wearing replaced by the most elegant golden sandals I have ever seen  We are all silent.  he is smiling, then, as he opens his mouth to speak, once again, we are in the company of Ethan, random bike dude, dependent tonight on our hospitality, out here in the toolies.

1989

We were arrested at the Damascus Gate of the great city.  Claudius, my companion in the barracks in Nicomedia knew me immediately and had me in chains.  On my pleading they released Thaddai, claiming he knew nothing of this, and miraculously they let him go.  He returned immediately to the refuge where his mother and sister were sheltering.  I was given no trial, for them I was already a deserter, traitor, and worse, a Christian, I was already tried, indicted and convicted.  There was a cross waiting for me.  They stripped me of all my clothing, because not even our Lord Jesus Christ was spared the humiliation of hanging fully naked before the world. And there they nailed me, there I hung, bleeding, much as our Saviour bled for us, but unlike our Saviour, I was consoled throughout by the divine presence. God would never again forsake God that the ultimate darkness should never again shroud the earth. Yes, the pain, yes the humiliation, the agony as I felt my body breaking all around me. And yes, as I could feel the moment approaching, the crows gathered round me to begin their despicable feast.  But that was it.  It was over.  And yet, it was only the beginning.  While the fowls of the air banqueted on my corpse, I was already being received into the place of light and love and life undying...

1988

At daybreak we reached Neapolis, the nearest town to Aelia Capitolina. We knew not to enter the city, and had been told of a small farm nearby that would give us refuge. We were well received by a family of believers. The grandparents, their son and daughter-in-law and three small children. They were concerned about our destination, knowing it would be perilous, and they gave us the information of a safe house near the centre of the city. In a hidden storage room for grain we slept artfully concealed by blankets between bushels of barley. We knew we were coming to our journey's end, when anything could happen. Exhausted, we all slept through the afternoon and into the following dawn. When they gave us breakfast, our elder hosts begged that the two women stay behind with them as Thaddai and I went forth, knowing how perilous the trip would be to two women, especially given the Roman soldiers' lascivious reputation for brutally violating vulnerable women...