1940

There is a loud persistent knocking on the front door.  Carl gets up.  "That couldn't be the cops already", mutters Sheila. ,"They're coming in the morning". mumbles Melissa, getting up and stacking together all our dirty dessert dishes.  "Christopher is going to help me with the dishes.  Just as I am getting up to follow her into the kitchen, Carl comes in with Tron at his side, only he is not dressed in robes, but a bright green T shirt and golden beige coloured shorts and sneakers. "Hey everyone", says Carl, "This is Ethan.  We saw him riding  his bike on the road.  He is going to be an overnight guest." "Offer him some cake", says Melissa. "Thank you", says Tron, or Ethan, sitting down with Carl. Before following Melissa into the kitchen, I lean down and whisper to our guest, "Does anyone else know you as Tron?"" "They will find out soon enough", he says with a small knowing smile.  And to you and Kenny I am Ethan.  Now I believe you are needed elsewhere." I cross glances with Kenny, who reveals to me nothing  but changes his seat to put himself right next to Ethan.  They are just entering into a discreet conversation as I turn my back and head into the kitchen...

1944

As she brings the coffee pot and fills our mugs at the table Melissa sits down across from me.  "We both prefer our brew black and bitter", say I. "Like life", she quips but without even a meek suggestion of a grin.  "We both have synesthesia.  Do you know what that means?" "That we're both a little bit unusual?" "Besides that", she snaps. "I'm not sure what you're getting at." "Synesthetes are both highly sensitive and highly aware, highly conscious, it's like we can never quite reach  our off switch.  Do you have trouble staying asleep, dream vividly? ""Yes, and yes." "Greta Thunberg, the environmental activist, is not neurotypical and she calls her asperger's a superpower.  See what I'm getting at?" "Yes", and now this needs no further explaining, and yes, now suddenly, it is like being an archeologist and finally discovering the key to Linear A script and unlocking all the secrets of Ancient Crete... I did not see this coming, and bodily I am instinctively backing away from the table while still remaining in the chair.  "What do you mean?" "Did Carl tell you that years ago, when we found our dad lying dead with a bullet wound in his head out in the back, did he tell you that we buried him there, him and I?" "Yes, he did." Melissa takes a premeditated sip of coffee, then, turning her face to the door, shouts, "Carl.  Get in here at once." It isn't long before her brother appears at the table.  "You bellowed?" he merely says, a quirky little smile adorning his face as he seats himself at the end of the table.  She gets up and without asking first brings him a cup of coffee, to which she has added cream and a spoon. "Table service from none other", he comments, pulling toward him the mug and beginning to stir. "You're welcome" she says flatly, seating herself. "Thanks Mel.  To what purpose have I been summoned?" "I just heard from Christopher that you told him you and I buried dad...no, don't worry, you're not getting scolded, but there is something i was meaning to tell you, and I couldn't do it on the phone, so now you are here, but so far, only Christopher needs to know, so we can talk about it right now..."  She is speaking rapidly, with quiet urgency... "Okay." "Yesterday I was chatting with our half-sister Naomi, who came over for coffee between her nursing rounds. Can you guess what she told me?" "Only if you are so kind as to enlighten me ." "As I'm sure you are also worried, like me. that one day they would find his body back there, trace everything to us and then the shit would really hit the fan." "It's been a recurring nightmare, Mel." "If Naomi is telling the truth and I have no reason not to believe her, then from now on we can both stop worrying." "You mean?" "Just after you and I left, basically running for our little lives, Carl, people from the Stolo Nation came, dug up the body and moved it to an undisclosed location." "You mean..." "I mean that we are off the hook. For now anyway. But that also complicates things." "By the way, Mel, where did you get this coffee, it is just wonderful" "There's a new coffee roaster and café in Chilliwack. It is their house blend. Now if we could remain on topic." "So what else is new?" "There is some question, according to Naomi, who has some pretty good sources with the band, that the remains they are wanting to track are going to be here, in this house..or should I say, under the house." "Huh." "And that Spanish guy who left that journal here in Spanish? He is the principal suspect, they have found and detained him for questioning, and he has agreed to help in the search tomorrow." "And", say I, "There is also the question of how did people in the Stolo Nation know that your dad was buried here..." "Naomi would have the answer for that", says Mel. "Then we should ask her.  Will she be here tomorrow?" "There is one little complication.  She ain't telling.  I was going to ask her then she totally shut up and backed off, like she knows more, maybe a lot more than she's gonna say." "Do you think someone from the Stolo Nation did it?"  I ask. "Oh I'm sure they know", says Melissa, "I'm sure they already know." "Do you reckon Sven Lindstrom might be the one." "Oh poor Mr Lindstrom", says Melissa, sighing, "Always the easiest target in the universe, and now there is no way we can reach him, and that holy adolescent sure ain't gonna let him out of his sight." "Nor us, but yes, he is, as it were, under special custody.  What about Cosme?" Whose name I once borrowed, "Where does he fit in?" "According to our half sister, Cosme, who is now eighty-one, has long enjoyed a friendship with the Stolo nation, including a lengthy common-law arrangement with a woman there by whom he has fathered three kids.  He has voluntarily given himself up to the authorities, and apparently there is a lot he knows that is not in the diary."

1943

"I am not surprised to hear that", I am wiping and scrubbing clean the ice cream scooping spoon. "He's quite a bit better now, but still loses focus and goes off on tangents sometimes." "Like when he got drunk in the diner." "Exactly so." I am not telling her anything about her brother's adventure at Wreck Beach.  Perhaps Carl can tell her, though I am sure that is one secret he is going to be keeping for quite a while from his darling little sister. "It looks like we're done", say I. As she is wiping down the counter and sink, Melissa says, "Sit awhile at the table here with me and I'll put on some coffee..."

1942

Melissa breaks the prolonged silence that has enveloped us.  "Christopher", she says, pausing to take a lengthy, slightly slurpy sip of her coffee, "You never had a mental illness.  We are unusually wired, and that makes us also unusually conscious and aware.  We are a threat to the normies.  Time to break free." The coffee before me appears particularly black, though with a certain betrayal of red beneath the surface.  It is strong, not really bitter, but deeply flavourful and aromatic dark roast.  "Jesus said that not only was Lawrence being taken away from mental health work, but that I am no longer going to be there either." Instead of replying, Melissa says, "There is something else I have been wanting to ask you...Has my brother told you about our father's death...?"

1942

"Do you have synesthesia" she repeats. "What is that?" "You've never heard of synesthesia?"  She is repeating the word as though she really wants me to learn it. "What is it?" "First, before I answer", she says, picking up to dry one of the lovely crimson and gold plates, "I want you to tell me something...  Have you always identified that shade of green with the number seven, and gold with four?" "For as long as I can remember." "What is number three for you?" "It's an intense shade of crimson, like the red on those plates, and deeper than the red of your T shirt you happen to be wearing right now." "Number one?" "Dark blue, more ultramarine than indigo." "Two?" "A light vibrant turquoise." "Five?" "Magenta." "Bingo!"  She has just pulled out of the rinsing water a coffee cup that matches the dessert plates. "Bingo, because..." "Because that is how I see number five." "Do you have this condition too?" "For as long as I remember.  Numbers, letters, days of the week, music too.  Do you see colour in music?" "Sometimes yes.  Sometimes."  And yes, sometimes, especially when hearing Carol on the piano the colours fly everywhere for me.  "Does Carl know?" "Still haven't told him." "How come?" "Don't know", she shrugs.  "We can both tell him tonight." "Will he be okay wñith it?" "My brother isn't a normie either." "You mean..." "He has ADHD...."

1940

"Who is that guy?"  says Melissa to me as I start filling the sink, first hot water, liquid soap which drips out an astonishing shade of sapphire blue, and now I am adding the first of several dirty plates and utensils to the swelling foamy mix. "We saw him on the road just a couple of miles from here", like my father before me, I never quite got used to thinking in kilometres.  Curiously, I work well with kilograms and celsius. "He looks familiar." I am just opening my mouth and suddenly remembering that he has told Kenny and me to know him as Ethan, forbids any words from coming out.  Instead, "I am really starting to notice colour these days." "Colour is everywhere " she replies, picking up to dry the first plate I have washed. "Like the beautiful intense blue of this dishwashing liquid." "Isn't it beautiful?  And did you notice the colours that the dude on the bike is wearing?  That is the most glorious and intense emerald-malachite green I have ever seen.  And those golden shorts of his." "That shade of green", say I , "Always suggests the number seven"  The plate I am rinsing has a particularly lovely pattern of deep crimson and gold lines in  fluid art nouveaux intricacies.  "And gold is number four." "Do you have synesthesia", asks Melissa...

1939

"Miss ...Thing?" he inquires with a dear little smile hovering over his lips "How did you know," says Glen, clearly astonished.  "Have we ever met before?" "Years ago, honey...years ago....And you are still handsome." "Wait a minute.  Years ago...How many years ago...Wait...It must have been back in the...Nineties?  no, wait...the eighties...It was back in the eighties...Stephen...You knew Stephen Bloom...Didn't you? "I knew her mostly as Tanya.  And you would have known me as...Cassandra." "You were both drag queens...you were working girls..." "The oldest profession. Good-lookin'...the oldest fuckin' profession." "Yes, and now I remember...you guys..or...you gals...That was your nickname for me...Miss Thing." "Well, fancy meeting you here, Glenda." "Yeah, that would have been your other nickname for me." "You are looking very well." "As are you...Kennny?...As are you."

1938

The breakfast room where we are tucking into chocolate orange cake with ice cream is every bit as lovely as before.  Melissa has joined us, along with Glen and Sheila. "Yes, we were also there", says Sheila, "Just as you saw us and just as we saw you.  And yes, that was the same boy I kept on seeing in dreams and...I don't know...visitations?  But yes, ever since back in the late forties, not long after the war, I happened to see him on the front porch of the house we ended up living in, when he was standing there with the old widow De Souza, as though...I don't know...as though he was watching over her." "Jesus was always there for you", says Kenny. "Only, I didn't really know him as Jesus.  I couldn't put a name or identity to him, perhaps i thought of him as an angelic spirit.  It's hard to say.  But our visit just yesterday, though it really is still today, that simply erased from me all shadow of doubt about who he is. Kenny has been staring at Glen in a way that can only be called knowing...

1937

The mansion is much as I remember it, but seems a bit small, not derelict really, but kind of shabby and tawdry, like a very earnest and laughably amateurish attempt to capture on colonized soil the essence of British landed nobility.  Perhaps the accustomed grandeur of the place on first blush eclipsd all the flaws  Or maybe after visiting Jesus in the Refuge, even Buckingham Palace would seem somehow lacking or wanting.  Melissa is seated on the verandah, stirring something in a big yellow ceramic mixing bowl on her lap. "Took you long enough to get here", she said, not looking up. "We stopped at Tommy's for something to eat", replies her brother, not quite defensively. "Lots of food here", she replies in her flat voice. "Hey, we got here, eh?"  says Carl, gesturing to Kenny and to Erik."Kenny, Erik, please meet my sister Melissa."  She barely glances their way, barely grunts something inarticulate. "Erik is my brother-in-law, and Kenny is an old family friend, actually more like my brother", say I, stammering a bit because suddenly Carl's sister is a most intimidating and excruciatingly silent force. "We already met", she mutters, which obviates any need to ask her if she remembers our time at the Refuge.  "Well, don't stand out there waiting for it to get dark, come in for dessert.  There's lots of chocolate cake left." "What are you making right now", says Carl, gesturing at the mixing bowl in her lap. "Pancake batter for breakfast tomorrow.  How long are you staying?" "We'll be going back after the cops are gone tomorrow", says Carl... As I step up onto the veranda, I instinctively look back, and there is Tron at a small distance watching us on his great white horse Ráfaga.

1936

Before I can say anything in greeting, he says, "You are going to be needing an escort.  You are being surveilled."  He is tall, towering and so resplendent in his robe of emerald green and gold.  Even though I am not sure if he can fit, "Tron, please ride in the car with us."  He smiles then gestures ahead, and there is a white horse standing, watching us by the road.  It is decked in a saddle of red and yellow and blue embroidery.  Tron approaches his steed and the horse is every bit as huge as he is lithe and graceful.   Like a police horse on steroids.  Gingerly, Tron mounts the horse and rides off ahead, just ahead of us. As we are following horse and rider Carl says, "Um...why did you stop and who were you just speaking to?" "Tron...from the refuge...Didn't you just see him?  He's riding ahead, our escort, he is on his white horse." "It's just some random dude on his mountain bike." "Erik, did you see someone just now?" "A guy on a bike." Kenny says, "It is Tron and that is his horse, Ráfaga.  It seems only Chris and I could see him, and that could be the will of our lord..." "You saw him too", say I.  "What is he wearing." "His green and gold robes." "What colour is his horse?" "White.  Big and beautiful." "Describe the saddle.." "It's beautiful. It looks like Guatemalan embroidery: red, yellow and blue.  In fact the name of the horse, Ráfaga, is a Spanish word for strong and sudden gust of wind." And now I can feel my heart leap into my throat with the wild and wonderful discovery that finally, in no one else but my old and dear friend, Kenny, now resurrected from the dead, I have someone who shares with me those visions that have caused me so many problems in the past...

1931

Carl's  magic gold card does it again, and not even is Kenny permitted to pay his share.  The intense evening sunlight paints a subtle gold cast over the surrounding forest.  Everyone has resumed their usual seats, Kenny on the right and Erik on the left behind me and Carl.  Suddenly this slips out of my mouth, "Kenny, you know more, a lot more than you were letting on at the diner." "I don't know whether or not I should dignify that with a reply." "You just did", quips Carl. "Out with it", i command. "I didn't want them to know." "Tommy and Carey?" say I.  "Okay.  Fair enough." "How much do you remember?" says Carl. "A lot more than I am about to say." "So you were faking the amnesia." "Not entirely." "Not entirely." "Carl, listen, I actually was in a brain fog till we arrived at the diner." "And what pulled you out of it?" "The conversation.  Look, usually after I've been there the amnesia is total, and also for Amaris, and we have to spend hours together before we can coax each other into remembering, and that is also just when we are ready to return.  But there's something else at play. It completely messes with our sense of time.  You guys are already aware of this phenomenon.

1934

So, what I am hearing", says Erik, "Is that this Refuge, is really a place of dreams  Or collective dreams." "Except we were all actually there", says Carl, "Including you.  But you're right, we all seem to be remembering and experiencing it as a dream." And I interject, "Neither did we lose one single second of real time for having been there... There is someone standing on the road just ahead, holding out his arms as though to halt us.  There is a shining brilliance of gold and emerald green, and, it is..Tron?".  We screech to a sudden stop on the side of the road and he walks calmly and majestically towards my car.

1930

"Back then", says Carl, "I also knew a professional dominatrix", and he adds wistfully, "She was a tranny." "She was a transwoman", corrects Carey. "Yeah she was that too", he says, not quite pokers-face. "Stella was actually a hermaphrodite. Kenny, you only met Stella yesterday." "Did I?" and the awkward pause says we had better not venture any further. "She was at Jesus' mansion yesterday", says Erik whose shin I am immediately kicking under the table. "Ow",, you don't have to kick me ", he whines, spearing a couple of French fries with his fork. "My foot must have slipped", and I cannot conceal the grin that must be creeping across my face right now. "Yesterday", says Kenny very patiently, "I was in Duncan, being woken at five by a phone call from Amaris. We drove in her car to the ferry and now here we are." And naturally, Kenny, now having no memory of where we were yesterday and overnight, seems completely unaware of how slackjawed we are right now.

1933

"How much time do you actually spend there?" says Carl.  "At the refuge." "That is the hardest part to explain to you guys", says Kenny.  "That place, and our lord, are completely out of time...or out of time as we know time.  I don't think I'm making myself very clear, but, apart from a period after I was thrown from the Lion's Gate Bridge, I have always been in Duncan.  My first memory was with some woman named Kim who apparently already knew me.  We were seated in a coffee shop in Duncan and drawing up plans for going into business together selling flowers and plants.  I already had my mother's condo I was living in, and did not have a clue how I got there.  Just after we bought the business together, I asked Kim what she knew, and she confirmed that she was  third party cosigning with me for the condo with my mom, but beyond that wasn't saying anything.  Nothing at all.  She simply said she couldn't tell me anything and ordered me to never ask her again.  But that's when the dreams all started, the first dreams I had since the dreams I was having while in a coma, trying to instruñct you, Chris, about my journal." "Those were dreams about being in the refuge?"  I ask. "That is correct, only Carl and Erik were also in the dream along with Amaris and a whole whack of other people,  Then at five this morning Amaris is on the phone with me to say she was at the front door of my building and that we had to get started..." "Wait a minute", says Carl, "What was she doing there at five am. How did she get there?" "She said she spent the night at a friend's nearby, but didn't go into detail, and when Amaris tells me something in that tone, I know not to probe." "So, we took the first ferry to Tsawwassen, then drove into vancouver, parked the car and walked around for a while." "How did you find us?" say I. "We weren't looking for you, but we wanted to stop for coffee, so we wandered into this place where you guys happened to be sitting, and we both remembered the dreams and seeing you all dressed exactly the way you were and the conversation you and I had, Chris, but then Amaris felt called to her parents' home in Richmond, and now, just in the last few minutes I have pulled out of the amnesia."

The Peacock 1929

"Did you used to perform in drag?" wonders Carey. "I was a hooker." "You mean sex worker." "I mean hooker." "Here we go again", mutters Carl to me from his side of the table. "That word is offensive", says Carey primly. "Not to me it ain't." Carl jumps in. "Kenny is right. I was never a sex worker either. I was a hooker. Or ho. On the canals of Amsterdam", and he pauses for effect, "When I was a teenager." "You're a retired rent boy", says Kenny. "You bet I am." "So you both used to do sex work", says Carey. "We were not sex workers", says Kenny patiently, "We were prostitutes. I worked as a gal, Carl worked as a boy. But we were not sex workers, we were both hookers", he concludes, raising his voice a little for emphasis. "Well", if you don't mind", says Carey, her lovely face embellished by a very wide and very fake smile, "I have some paperwork to do." "No you do not", enunciates Tommy, blocking his lovely wife with his arm. "I already did it, and you, dear wife, are not going anywhere." "You can sure say that again", she grumbles with a beautiful pout.

1928

To Kenny, who is seated to my left, I whisper, "How much should I tell them?" "Never mind.  I'll handle it."  To Carey and Tommy he says, "I entrusted my journal to Chris many years ago, during a lengthy absence, and with my full permission he has shared the contents with Carl, and, who is that black fellow, the priest?" "Ex-priest", says Carl. "You mean Francois." "Why is he an es-priest, he is so young.." "He will tell you soon enough", say I.  "If you're good", prompts Carl." "But when I'm bad", says Kenny in the purest Mae West purr I have ever heard, "I'm better." "Have you ever done drag before?" says Carey, all wide eyed, "Darling", says Ken now in purest Cassandra, "Where would you like me to begin?"

The Peacock 1927

We're all gorphing down burgers and fries because Carlos is off today, and according to Tommy who with his wife has joined us at our booth, only his uncle really knows how to cook Cantonese, or Cantonese with a good dose of Venezuelan. "This is one of the best burgers I have ever eaten", says Kenny, who like me has opted for the veggie burger smothered with blue cheese. "So, what did you do with your other burgers?" says Carl with a grin. "Don't listen to him", say I. "No one does anyway, so I'm used to it." "Oh listen to it", I am laughing as I gesture with my fingers that right under my chin I am playing the world's tiniest violin. "Yep, says Carl, "I know where to find sympathy." Says Kenny.  "Under S .. Between shit and syphilis." Now we are all laughing heartily as Carl mutters, looking at me then at Kenny, "Where did you two find each other anyway?" "Oh, under a rock somewhere, says Kenny, still laughing then with both hands taking a huge bite from his burger. "And we have read your journal", say I. "You guys read his journal!" says Carey, evidently shocked.

the Peacock 1926

I cannot believe my eyes.  Yes, this is indeed Amanda's son, hand outstretched as he approaches our table, or, more explicitly, approaches Carl. "Hey", he says. "Tristan", says Tommy, "You know these guys, I'm sure. "Carl, yes,"he says, still smiling while they shake hands, "and I think I saw you before too", he adds, looking at me.   "Your name is..." "Christopher.  Yes, you had lunch here with us a couple of weeks ago." And Carl says, "So good to see you man. you are looking great  And these are two friends of Christopher's, Kenny, and Erik" All hands are shook and Carl says, "Your mom said you were working at a grocery store." "The local Save On Foods, but that's just a couple of days a week.  How are the others?" "They're all doing well." "Listen, I better get back and cook your food." "They haven't ordered yet", says Carey, passing him her pen and notepad.  "Listen, I must dash off to powder my nose.  Mind?" "Oh, sure", he says, receiving pen and paper, as she gets up and goes to the back of the diner.

The Peacock 1925

"That's right", say I,, "You are a recreation therapist?" "Close, though I have the creds and the chops for that too  I'm a music therapist.  But the three nursing homes where I have been contracted have been all shut down because of the pandemic, which makes hubby have to put up with even more of my presence in his life." "I haven't complained lately", says Tommy from the next booth. "There's room here, why don't you guys come and join us?" says Carl. "Don't mind if we do" says Tommy, swinging over from his booth to ours, "Well, someone has to do the work around here", sniffs Carey playfully "Who's cooking today?" asks Carl. "We're trying out a new guy.  Second day.  Pretty good so far."  Then towards the kitchen he shouts, "Hey Tristan, come on out and meet some of your old friends." And indeed it is Tristan, decked in a stained white chef's apron and...is he smiling?

The Peacock 1924

""Where's your uncle?" says Carl. "He's enjoying one of his rare days off with his wife and their granddaughter." "Does she live with them?" "For a few months. Their mom and dad are in Venezuela visiting the wife's parents, her mother is battling cancer right now, and Leticia is staying with grandma and grandpa." ""How old is she?" "Just about to turn twelve." Carey returns, notepad in hand.  "Nice to see you helping hubby", says Carl. "I was temporarily laid off from my day job thanks to lovely covid", she says, "So might as well do something besides sit at home on my phone.  instead I can sit in the Sunshine diner on my phone.  What'll it be?"

The Peacock 1923

"Who's hungry?" say I, and the place is open. We tumble out of the car onto the gravel parking lot, and our footsteps crunch all the way to the entrance.  The place is empty, save for Tommy and his wife Carey both slumped at the booth in the back on the comfy vintage vinyl upholstered sets, absorbed in their smartphones.  They together occupy the back seat facing the front, Tommy on the edge as though anticipating visitors. "Well here's a sight for sore eyes", shouts Tommy smiling.  "What brings you guys here today" "Well hello" rings out Carey, as though suddenly roused from a deep slumber.  We take the next booth. "We got some business to attend to at the mansion", says Carl as he takes a seat. "And you got hungry on the long drive from beautiful Vancouver and decided it's time to drop in on your pals here", says Tommy. "I'll do it", says his gorgeous wife as she slithers by him and heads in the direction of the menus.

The Peacock 1921

"What made you convert?" say I. "My experience of you Anglicans.  Wait a minute, both are equally corrupt, both denominations are equally full of hypocrisy and corruption.  But for all their foibles and historical crimes, the Roman Catholics at least know how to call a spade a spade.  Unlike you lying namby pamby weasley hypocritical Anglicans.  I am still surrounded by hypocrites.  But Jesus is present in the mass and no one lies to me. "He is present with us here and right now", says Carl. "Yes.  I can feel him here.  I often have dreams, sometimes visions that he is with me in person." "What does he look like?" say I. "Young.  very young, like a teenager, and so beautiful, with wild burnt golden hair and green eyes. No one is saying anything.  Carl and I have surreptitiously exchanged poignant glances.  We can talk about it later...

1920

"Dad identified your body.  I believe your parents were out of the country then" "Dad was in the UK teaching in a college in Manchester.  That was before they divorced.  Mom told me everything when we were reunited.  We hadn't been in contact for a long time, and they didn't find out till months after." "Dad had doubts that it was you.  He thought the face was too damaged for him to get a good look at you."   To Carl and Erik I say, "Sorry.  I hope this isn't too much for you guys." "No, feel free", says Carl. "I also became Catholic", says Kenny. "No kidding", say I.  And now I really don't know what to say. "I don't go to mass often.  it just seemed the next step to take.  Kim is Catholic and she started inviting me to church with her..."

1918

"That is just so..."says Erik..."So...."... "Weird?" says Carl. "Well, that too.  You were in a coma?" "After that incident in the Lion's Gate Bridge with Sven, the next thing I recalled was waking up in bed in the mansion, and there was Jesus, but I didn't know it was Jesus, just this beautiful shining kid with the most caring smile and powerful eyes I have ever seen." "You lived there all this time, Kenny?", say I. "Yes and no.  I had to start a new life and a new identity, as Benjamin Butterfield, but in Duncan I'm still Kenny." "How did that happen?" says Carl. "It is hard to explain.  Part of it is that within hours of being there. with Jesus in his mansion, it starts to fade like a dream and after a few days it is simply a vaguely remembered dream.  And then, not knowing what I am doing, I leave the flower shop in the capable hands of my business partner, get in my car and then drive to that beach in Saanich, and then.. no. I can't say any more.  it is starting to fade." "Does the same thing happen to Amaris?" say I. "Letitia.  No. Amaris.  It is all starting to fade.  Christopher, please, could we just leave it for now" "what's happening?" "Better to leave it.  It's all fading and fast.  Except for Jesus.  He said before we left that he would be always with us.  This I remember, but nothing else.  In fact, he is here in this car, though we can't see him-... he is always here.  Jesus is the Always Here..." "The Great I Am is also the great Always Here", quips Carl.  "What about you, Chris.  Do you remember where we were?" "We were overnight guests with Jesus and his elderly parents.  It was so wonderful.  Erik, do you remember?" "He showed me his wounds.  Now I believe." "Kenny", say I.  "We still remember.  Does this help you?" "It might.  It just might  We need to get hold of Amaris...hey, let me tell you all about my life in Duncan..."

The Peacock 1919

"In Duncan, just one door after another started to open for me.  And that was all thanks to Kim, who became my business partner.  Kim and I first met... No I can't remember.  But I was in  Duncan in a coffee shop and she was a friend of the owner and we had been talking for a while then her friend, Steve the owner of the café, starts telling us about a florist shop up for sale and since we both had lots of experience and Kim, thanks to a recent inheritance, had the capital. It was a walk in the park.  My mother was also living in the area, in fact, that same afternoon, I called on her to inform her that her son, Kenny, was indeed alive though living under a new identity." "That must have been quite a shock." "I couldn't tell her anything, because I didn't know anything, just that from what I could recall. And I still don't know how I remember this, someone in a boat rescued me when I fell in the water." According to what we were told in the mansion", says Carl, "you were brought there and remained for some weeks in a comatose state..." "I only remember sitting in that coffee shop with Kim." "And the rest of us here happen to remember", insists Carl. "Let's not go there."  And it is clear that for now Kenny no longer remembers and there is no point traumatizing him further...

1917

"You guys are like two peas in a pod", says Carl.  "In fact, Chris, why don't...why don't we stop long enough so Kenny and I could change seats..  It might be better for you both if you could sit together in the front here while talking." "Thanks, Carl, that's very kind, but I think we're okay."  And I don't want to complain about having to pull over and stop in mid-traffic. "We're okay, Carl", says Kenny.  "It'll be like talking on the phone.  But that is kind of you.  So, you guys read my journal together." "with Francois, yes, Chris shared it with us.  Sorry." "Nothing at all to apologize about, friend, and this does make you and I friends.  When I appeared to Christopher in order to tell him about the diary's whereabouts, it was with the idea that he would share the contents with a trusted party and now this bonds us together, you and Francois." "You appeared to Chris?" says Erik skeptically. "I must have been in coma at the time.  But in my closet was hanging a set of old fashioned leather pockets that Jim had given me from his own childhood.  The diary was in one of those pockets." "And that is exactly where I found it", say I. "Do you have it with you?" "It's in my backpack and that is behind your head by the rear window.  Do you want it back?" "No, not yet.  But I am glad to have it with us...."

1916

"How long did you live with us?" "Five years minus four months and three days. I am doing the math and this all seems to square. Kenny disappeared-I can no longer say he died-just three days before Christmas, December 22, 1996.  I had recently turned twenty.  he came to live with us, when?  Three days, would have been the twenty-fifth.  Plus four months, January Februrary, March, April.  Yes, the tulips were in their full glory the day he came to live with us.  "you were twirling in an abandonment of rapture at the sight of our tulips the day you came to live with us." "Are they still there?" "They didn't survive longer than a couple of more years.  We kind of let the garden go, I'm afraid." "Oh Christopher, you and Jim, between you must have had twenty brown thumbs." And he always referred to Dad, not as your dad, but as Jim.   "Where was your bedroom?" "Second floor next to yours, and we shared a bathroom." "Where was the bathroom?" "Both our bedrooms were at opposite ends of the hallway.  The bathroom was in between" "What direction faced the bathroom?" "From my bedroom door it was on the left."  Do I pass?" "In spades, baby, in spades!" "Oh darling, you know how to set a girl's heart aflutter!"  And now we are all laughing and Kenny and I are laughing the loudest and the hardest because those were classic coded lines in our friendship that we often used.

1913

Carl has just gotten a text from Melissa, his sister.  Next to me in the  front seat he says, "Get your ass back here right now.  The RCMP have a search warrant and they want you present for the proceedings." "What could this possibly be about?" says Erik from behind. "I'll ask her...wow, my darling little blister is right on the ball today..."they want to conduct a search with dogs for human remains tomorrow morning.  You have to be there to answer questions." "Are you driving out tonight?"  say I. "I haven't a moment to waste.  Chris, I'll buy you the next twenty tanks of gas if you don't mind turning around and driving me there." "We'll have to ask my brother-in-law." "I don't mind another adventure today", quips Erik "Kenny?" "Your wish is my command." And now I am taking a left at Arbutus, from where I am going to take Twelfth Avenue to the Trans Canada highway.

The Peacock 1911

In silent consensus we are all getting up to leave.  I am leading, but something is twigging in me about Aaron who is working on a coloured drawing at his window table.  I pause for a closer look, and it is a beautiful rendering of a resplendent quetzal, the bird that is also the name of Sarah's combined astrological sign.   "That is really beautiful", say I to Aaron.   "Thank you", he replies, "It keeps me away from drugs."  The gleam in his eye tells me this is indeed Aaron and he recognizes me.  "How are you guys?" "We're getting by.  This is turning into quite a story." "It is indeed.  And we are nowhere near finished writing it." "You can say that again", says Carl,  The others are standing waiting for us by the door. After standing awkwardly with nothing more to say, Aaron says, "We have to continue writing this novel.  There is much that depends on this.  We are all participants."  We are still immobile, still with nothing further to say. "You guys had better get going to your father's house, Christopher.  You are needed there...."

The Peacock 19i0

"So that really is it", say I musing aloud.  "Jesus said the dimensions would come together, and we would begin to notice immediately the change." And who should this be coming in through the coffee shop door but our own creator and author, sort of.  Aaron.  He doesn't appear to notice or heed our presence as he dumps his shoulder bag on a comfy chair by the window and goes to the counter to make his order.  In silence we watch as he stands aside to await his americo.  We are really all too spellbound to say anything to him, or to one another. As he picks up his cup, ceramic for here, and carries it to his table by the window, Carl calls to him "Aaron!"  He pauses, looks around then through us as though to him we are invisible, then proceeds to his seat. "Do you think he's ignoring us?" say I. He doesn't see us", says Kenny.  "Jesus tried to explain it to me as we were about to leave.  "The merging of the dimensions will mean that from now on because Aaron is writing us, that we are going to exist in his imagination only.  He will no longer be popping in on us, uninvited or otherwise...."

1909

"That is amazing news about Jesús", says Erik. "Miraculous", I concur. "Does he have any plans of returning", says Carl.  "I'm going to miss him." "Send him a text", say I, "Ask him." "I don't have his contact. Could you?" "Jesús", I text.  "That is such amazing news.  God is so good."  But we are going to miss you.  Are you coming back to Canada.."  Send. "You know", says Amaris to Kenny.  "Benjamin Butterfield is already taken.  It's the name of a famous tenor." "Do you think he'll sue?" "No more than John Smith", quips Carl. "Here's A reply from Jesús.  "My mother needs me with her right now.  She has bad arthritis and needs help in the home.  But I will let you know.  I miss all of you.  At least Colombia is safe for me to live now." "Now that our dimensions have come together", muses Amaris. I text, "Jesús, why has Colombia become safe?" "It seems to have always been safe.  At least the evil network seems to have never existed." I text, "Are there still other dangers in Colombia?"" "Nothing else has changed.  But I now am safe...."

The Peacock 1918

"Kenny", say I, "Or, I mean, Benjamin..." "Kenny is still my name and you are all welcome to call me Kenny.  But please, do it discreetly." "What are you going to do now that...now that you're back?" "My partner has just bought me out in the florist shop in Duncan, which means that now I can retire.  I do have my condo in Duncan, but it's all paid for, and I am happy to still live there part time, Christopher, that is to say, if you would be happy to receive me back into your father's house." "It is a bit full right now, but in a couple of days there'll be room.  It all depends on what Jesús does." "From whom I have just received a text", says Carl.  He says, "Hi.  I am in Bogotá, and miraculously recovered.  Right now I am walking and talking and texting and eating normal food.  ¨Praise be to Jesus!" "There is room for sure.  Can you come back with us tonight?" Kenny holds forth his backpack and with a grin and a wink says, "Neither Harriet nor Jesus would let me leave without at least my toothbrush and razor.and deodorant too..."

The Peacock 1907

"There were others here with you", says Amaris, smiling while regarding the orphan beverages. "Lawrence is gone, and the others, Stella, and Caspar are still at the refuge..." "And there they are going to remain. They are both, with Sven, in very good hands". "So, what are you guys going to do now that you're out, I mean", says Carl, and now his phone is ringing..."It's Sarah", he says, turning on speakerphone.  "Hello Sarah, where are you guys?" "Carol and I are both in her townhouse and we are about to have tea.  How are you guys?" "We are in the coffee shop, Waves on Broadway.  It's like we never left." "Is it Monday or Tuesday?" "It's still Monday.  We will find that we are all resuming our normal lives and activities as though nothing happened." "Nothing happened indeed!" she snorts. I call over, "We  should all meet together tomorrow at my house.  We could do it in the morning." "Let me check with Carol, but I can certainly be there" "And...Sarah?" says Carl.  "absolutely no one is to hear about where we just were.  No one.  At least until we've all had a chance to debrief together" "Oh, on my honour", she says.... 

The Peacock 1905

"So now what do we do?"  say I. "I dunno", says Carl, "Go home and cook supper." "We really, really were with Jesus", say I still gobsmacked,  "In that great palatial mansion...on that island." "I am no longer an atheist", says Erik. "That should give you a clue", says Carl. "How did you guys leave?" "We already knew that Tron had taken you out for a walk.  Then Jesus said we were going to catch up with you, so he took us out then whoops, suddenly we were back in here, the minute we stepped out the door." "This is just so crazy.  I'm phoning Francois." "Not at all a bad idea." "Where are you right now?" Francois replies, "Seated on the couch of your father's living room, and every bit as freaked out as you.  Are Carl and Erik with you?" "We're back in, or maybe I should say, we're still in, the cafe." "What about Carl?" "He is here with me and Erik.  Did the others make it back okay?" "George and Jeffrey, and Jason and Lazarus are right here with me, and totally dazed and confused." "You do remember where we were, Francois?" "That is something that I don't think any of us are going to ever forget." And now Kenny is coming in through the door, followed by Amaris, or she might be Amaris..

The Peacock 1904

This water is so cold, so pure, so delicious, unlike any water that has ever crossed my lips, and now, suddenly I am back in the cafe, nowhere near the Refuge, nowhere near Jesus.  Here is Carl, and only Carl in the comfy chair opposite.  And Erik seated on my left. They have been conversing.  No Stella.  No Sven.  No Caspar. "Where are the others", I ask. "We all returned here alone", says Carl. "Just now?" "We were both here five minutes ahead of you", says Erik. "Then it wasn't...? "One of your hallucinations?" says Carl. smiling.  "No.  Unless it was a collective delusion", and now he is snickering. "We were all with Jesus in that big mansion?" "Along with his very aged parents:" "Where are the others?" "Like us.  They are all back from where they were taken." "Except..." "Stella, Sven and Caspar", says Erik. "What time is it?" "Almost four", says Carl. "What day is it?" "Still Monday", says Erik, and now I can see they are both deadpanning as much as I am.  How else are we going to cope right now? "But, we did spend the night, didn't we?  But wait.  Not one single minute has passed since...since we were taken yesterday...but wait it's still today, isn't it.  Where is Lawrence?" "He was just leaving when  Jesus appeared", says Erik.  Now he's gone on with his day..."

The Peacock 1902

It is still dark.  There are no clocks here and I do not know what time it is. I am feeling rested, and here I am waking up in a strange room  And now the flood of memories from yesterday, all the strange bizarre and lurid confessions and revelations and Jesus appearing in his eternally youthful form in the coffee shop only to transport us...here....this place called the Refuge.  A quick shower is all I need and now that I am dried and dressed there is a soft knock on the door. It is Tron. "Perhaps", he says, "We could greet the dawn while walking in the gardens together." I don't see why not, but instead of saying anything, I slip on my shoes and off we go. The dawn bird chorus has already begun, and together we are crossing a huge expansive lawn.  I can only imagine the work involved in maintaining a place of such dimension and beauty.  I can just see the beautifully molded features of Tron's face as we walk silently together, past a bed of irises, much like where Carl and Melissa live, then under a bower of soft purple wisteria in full and glorious bloom.  I am feeling cold and Tron hands me without either of us asking the dark grey pullover sweater he has been carrying under his arm. "Thank you. Tron.  This is a beautiful sweater." "Take it with you." "Thank you  Thank you very much..."

The Peacock 1901

Tron has just shown me to my room.  He is one of the immortals here.  That is what he told me as he was guiding me up the stairs.  For a while he lingered with me in the armchair in the corner while I lie on the bed, propped up on cushions.    We donn't speak, but I do feel both energized and rested by his presence.  As he gets up to leave, he says, "You must remember, Christopher, that I have been called to your welfare and safekeeping.  No matter where you go, you will never be far from me."  And now before I can even say good night...

The Peacock 1900

"Benjamin?" say I to Kenny. This is all beginning to come together. "Benjamin Butterfield at your service, Christopher", says Kenny. "Facebook group?" "You were grieving the loss of your father, Jim, just when my mother passed away from breast cancer." "You were so kind to me." "As you were with me, Chris", he says bashfully. "As you were with me." We can only sit quietly right now, dumbfounded, trying lamely not to stare at each other. What I never knew. "Lord", says Carl, "There is a ferry service from this island?" "The two dimensions have come together. This island in Aaron's dimension has always been on the map, with limited ferry service and a tiny village on the north end of the island. This place does not exist on their radar, and the forest and bush ascending the mountain remain impenetrable. However, as you are ready to depart tomorrow, you will find yourselves rturned immediately to the place and exact time you found yourselves in when I summonedd you all here." "But weren't you going to keep us here", says Lawrence, "For several days, I mean?" "And those days have already transpired. The merging of dimensions has also tweaked your sense of time and place. But when you return home none of you will have lost one single minute. It will be as if you never left home. But you will still remember that you were here, and you will also remember all that I taught you.."

The Peacock 1899

Aaron says, "Stella mentioned today that our two dimensions are about to merge." "And this has already happened", says Jesus.  "When you all leave from here you are going to notice immediately that something has changed. recovered. "Does this mean we also can stay here", wonders Lazarus. "The records of mental illness and hospitalization have been completely erased.  You will always be hee with me, and I will always be with yuou where I am sending you." "Jesus", says Kenny.  "We were just talking about leaving here tomorrow, Amaris, Christopher, Carl and Francois." "You are leaving tomorrow.  Kenny, you are still recorded as deceased.  You will have to go under your new name, the name by which Christopher has come to know you." "You mean", says Kenny, a wondering smile on his face. "That's right, Benjamin.  But now you are going to have a little bit of explaining to do with Christopher..."

The Peacock 1998

Says Jesus, "The creative imagination is not merely an excuse for inventing fantasies and lies and fiction",  And now Aaron is carefully regarding him.  "It has nothing to do with wish fulfillment.  Neither is it merely a door opening to the unconscious.  Perhaps onto what my servant the famous Swiss psychotherapist coined the Collective Unconscious...but that was merely his early stumbling at grasping and identifying a much larger and much more complex reality than what is commonly understood among human beings.  Aaron, you do touch upon the truth when you mention different dimensions.  Remember, I have many sheepfolds.  How could they all possibly be contained in and confined to this tiny but exquisite jewel of a planet that I breathed, sung and birthed into being in order to be populated by such as yourselves?" "Lord", says Aaron, "Do you mean to tell us that there is life on other planets, other galaxies...Other universes." "There has been so much useless speculation, Aaron, among such things as your kind, and your kind is also my own kind, has speculated, theorized and fantasized.  Like my servant Carl Gustave Jung, a few of you have stumbled across a little bit of insight, but so little to be understood.  Rather like pulling a lit candle from a birthday cake and expecting it to light your way through a labyrinth.  Only after taking two or three steps, the candle has gone out and you remain every bit as lost, confused and unknowing as ever..." Aaron stares slack jawed and bewildered at our Lord. "The creative imagination, Aaron, is, or ought to be, a portal.  A door opening on to other realities, other possibilities.  These are not things of your inventing, rather you are seeing, you are catching glimpses of such deep, beautiful and complex truths as have yearned over and remained thoroughly perplexed the sages and prophets of old." "How is this like the Collective Unconscious?" "I said that the Collective Unconscious is a stumbling first step towards understanding that which must always remain obscured from your vision, from the vision of humanity.  It is not withheld from you by Divine caprice, but Divine Mercy.  Mortal humans, created of dust, do not have the faculties nor the ability nor the strength in order to grasp such wonders.  to have this light shined on you would be to snuff you out of existence..."

The Peacock 1997

Of course, as some of you well know, I am a disciple of our Lord Jesus Christ, here, our gracious and loving host.  You may wonder why I have written my  Lord as having the aspect of a sixteen year old youth.  That was not intentional.  In my earlier work of literary fiction, Thirteen Crucifixions, from time to time this same beautiful boy would appear in the novel.  I did not have a name for him, because I hadn't named him yet.  I simply didn't know.  But, Jesus, this has been you yourself appearing to me in the novel and so as I was in the early stages of the Peacock, it occurred to me that this was your true identity, something that you revealed to me, Lord, but how could I possibly write you this way, but then much later it occurred to me that your own disciples didn't recognize you after your resurrection not just because they were still in a state of unbelief, but that they were seeing you in a lovely, innocent,  and transfigured form. And so, Lord Jesus, this is your novel, and I have done my utmost to take my cues from you, and write you, not as we imagine nor as I imagine, but...as you yourself most truly are, gracious Lord. "But what about us?" says Carl.  "How did you do it?" "Jesus was introducing me to each one of you, and I only got to know each one of you gradually as I wrote.  That is also why I kept appearing in the novel, so we could actually come to know one another.  Every time I sit down to write, whatever next move or direction or plot device I might have in mind, it suddenly gets moved around.  I am not in the least in control of this project.  I seem to have tapped into a different or alternative reality here that is just gradually unfolding to me...

Te Peacock 1996

Our Lord turns to both Carl and Melissa who are seated side by side.  "Your mother has returned to hospital.  She will experience a remarkable recovery and will be out of there within three days, and you will both be ready to receive her." Then, turning to Aaron, he says gently but also a bit portentously, "Aaron, you have some things you would like to say to everyone here."  His shirt has suddenly changed from pale blue to another shirt of vertical light blue, pale yellow stripes, set off with black, light green and white.  Another day must have already passed for him, though this happened just five minutes ago. "Hello, everyone.  I am so glad to see so many of you here right now.  I think it is time I made it clear to everyone just what is going on from my end as I have been writing your story these past five years.  Yes, it has been a long time, and you are all just into your third week now, and for you it is still May, 2021.  My original motive for writing the work was largely influenced by the covid pandemic that was still in its first year.  i thought, how interesting it would be to write a modern version of the Decameron, in medieval Italy during the bubonic plague, when a collection of persons of wealth were all finding refuge in an elegant, Florentine, I think, villa, and how they spent their time entertaining one another with quite the collection of stories. From the very onset, it was quite clear to me that this work of literature had already taken on a life of its own.  I was no longer, never was the creator, and found myself demoted to scribe and collaborator.  From the onset it was clear that I was writing about real people, and that I was no longer in control of the narrative.  The creative process really needs to be reexamined and re-explored, because the artist is not the creator, but an accomplice to other, more powerful and eternal forces.

The Peacock 1995

"Finally", says Astrid in clear Dutch-accented English, "I can see you both.  My two children.  Oh, if I could tell you both how proud I am of you.  Of how much I love you both.  Carl, I have never once preferred Melissa over you. I love you both deeply. so deeply, my dear son and daughter.  I never told you.  Never told you this.  Please forgive me.  A mother's love is an imperfect love.  Please do what you both feel is right.  Follow Jesus who is our gracious host. He will direct you.  I release everything to both of you..." and here she is starting to fade... Jesus approaches the frail sick woman, places both hands on her shoulders, kisses her forehead, and now she is gone...

The Peacock 1994

"Come in, please beloved Aaron", says our lord.  "If anyone should find himself at home here it would be you." Slowly, cautiously. while carefully eyeing every single person in the room, Aaron makes his way to a chair that Jesus has just pulled up for him in the centre.  We are seated in a semicircle.  Our author is facing all of us. "Won't you please address us, Aaron." Our author opens his mouth.  He is a bit on the portly side but not fat. He is dressed in a pale blue button down shirt and dark bluejeans.  He doesn't appear to have aged noticeably. "I am right now in Costa Rica, the city of Alajuela near the airport.  It is December 27, 2025 where I live, a time difference of more than four and a half years between our dimensions.  Please accept my apology for having taken so long to write all of you.  This has been slow work, and any attempt to rush it would have served us all a grave injustice.  But first, Lord Jesus, is it really necessary that Astrid be here.  She is very frail, and should still be in hospital." "I wanted badly to be here", says Carl and Melissa's mother.  Her graying dark hair is lank hanging over her face, and she appears thin and very pale in her pale blue hospital gown. "Mom", says Melissa, "It is so good to see you here..But Aaron is right. We want you to get better...Carl?" "Mom, Melissa is right... And you are already starting to fade...Jesus?" "Astrid, there is something  you want to tell your children.  Say it now, and just briefly, to save your strength, and you will wake up in your hospital room...

The Peacock 1993

Suddenly, Jesus is here, standing in our midst, which is just as well, given that all the chairs are now occupied. "You will not be leaving yet, not without the others.  More will be arriving tonight.  They are already here."  And now Melissa, accompanied by a frail older woman who must be their mother is holding on to her arm.  As Carl appears to be struggling to know just what to say to them, Jesus says "let us return to the meeting room. and we are now being led out through the dining room and the now unoccupied table and back to the meeting room where we all began.  Everyone else is seated, awaiting us, including Sheila, Michael, Matthew and Glen. "I believe that everyone is now accounted for", he says, just as Carol is staggering through the doorway.  "Except for your author, and now here he is", and it truly is Aaron who is standing in another doorway, as though waiting to be invited in to sit down.

The Peacock 1992

Curiouser and curiouser"say I. "I assumed we would be staying at least a few days." "Following breakfast tomorrow", says Amaris, "We are to leave, all of us." "I am a bit annoyed", says Francois, " That we can't be magically teleported back to where we were abducted from." And he is visibly indignant right now, as I am also struggling to not feel. "That's the way it alway works", says Kenny. "The way he explained it to me, it is so we can re enter normal life more grounded in concrete reality. That's the way it's always been for me, because, like Amaris here, I also live part time outside of here." "You're still part of the real world?" say I. "Oh yes, but under a different name and identity of course because Kenny is now legally dead. I live three weeks every month in Duncan where I run a flower shop..."

The Peacock 1991

I don't know how this happened, but suddenly Kenny and I are both seated in comfy chairs facing each other in the library.  There are cases of shelved books in row after row after row, with little cubicles and covey holes of comfy chairs and tables.  Much like the Vancouver Public Library downtown, only way more elegant. "Weren't we just having dinner?" say I, and I am a little bit indignant that I left my dinner half eaten. "I am just as surprised as you are, Chris", he says wistfully.  "I have been here twenty-five years and I still haven't got used to this place.  "How about coming back with me?"  Right now Amaris is approaching us with a tray laden with three full plates of food.  She places them on the table next to us, then pulls up an empty chair for herself. "Jesus has given us three permission to leave here tomorrow", she says.  "He has given us five permission to leave tomorrow", announces Carl's voice as he and Francois place themselves in the two other chairs with their plates in their laps...

The Peacock 1890

"Will she be here for the rest of her life?" Francois asks our lord. "Amaris", he says, "How would you like to answer that?" She pauses, while scooping some Greek salad onto her plate, then after putting a kalamata olive into her mouth and spitting the pit onto her plate, says, "What is your will, my lord?" "When you visit your parents, remain there until you get the call to return.  If you have to wait longer than forty days, I will come to visit you there and then we can discuss your future.  Your service is invaluable to me, to us, but you do not have to be here to serve, nor to live in my presence.  I am with you always." "What about us?" says Jennifer.  "Why were we brought here?" "All the others from your household will be joining us here", says Jesus, then adds, turning to Carl, "Including your sister, Melissa, and your mother, Astrid."

The Peacock1987

What kind of trouble?" wonders Carl. "Just last night I was present at the crossfire between rival gang members in Surrey.  A young woman was waiting for a bus with her small daughter.  I took them both by the hand and walked them to safety." "Too bad you can't save everyone",says Carl, and his eyes are gleaming with devil's advocate. "Not everyone can or will be saved", interjects Jesus, "But at my table there is room for all." "One way or another they will find you", says Carl, softening his tone.  He has no other choice. "I suffered too", says our Lord.  "Lt is the road map of our humanity.  "Only through suffering are we made perfect.  Only through suffering do we find our way home.."  He breaks a slice of sourdough in half, hands one half to Maureen, then passes her the hummus dip...

The Peacock 1886

"That was when you changed your name", say I. "That was the name I gave her", corrects our lord.  "It has many meanings, symbolized by Amaris: Promised by God, given by God, child of the moon, beauty, loved and loving, bitter, strength builder, immortal." "But bitter..lord?" says Amaris. "There will always be for you a tinge of the horror you have passed for but that is the very bitterness that builds strength." Amaris resumes: "I packed some clothes and a few things that morning, left a note for my parents, then took the bus to the Tsawwassen Ferry.  I remembered the location of the beach.  I bussed a small distance from the ferry, then walked several kilometres to the beach where I waited for perhaps several hours.  I did not care.  I knew I was being called home."

The Peacock 1885

"You returned to your home after Stefan took care of you", says Mary.  "What happened?" "I told everyone to stop worrying about me.  I said I had been on a religious retreat and now my life is changed.  No one wanted to believe me.  My husband, an incurable atheist, was especially obstinate and we agreed to a divorce.  My family was a different story.  As staunch calvinist Dutch Christians, both my parents were particularly interested in what happened.  They could see the transformation in my life.  I also immediately resigned from my profession, and now I was stepping into a void.  My parents offered to harbour me in the family home if I wanted to train for something different.  Then the dreams began.  I had already forgotten most of what happened.  But  you, Jesus, here in your youthful form, you were summoning me from the physick garden behind the house.  Five times you appeared in my dreams, in as many nights.  The sixth time, you said I am greatly missed.  Then a full week passed, and on the seventh night you appeared in the seventh dream, and you said, "Amaris, come home..."

The Peacock 1884

"The first several weeks you were here, Amaris, you spent a great deal of time sleeping.  Then Peter found his way to us. He was then named Stefan.  Do you remember him?" "He took care of me.  He didn't drink the water.  I actually warned him not to.  And he was so good to me, cooking for me, cooking for us, because another man came to us, a very handsome man, blonde, and like me, completely lost because he had drunk the water of forgetfulness.  And Stefan stayed with us and cared for us.  And just now, it is all coming back to me.  He was the last client I dealt with before I vanished.  I was in a restaurant being interviewed by a journalist, a middle aged woman, named Pamela, or Persimmon, or something like that.  Then Stefan came in, broke in on the interview and began lambasting me for all the horrible things I was doing to him and others in the name of saving money for the government.  I left in a rage, and shortly after got a call from my friend in Victoria so the next day, I booked off from work, lying about a family emergency, and went to Victoria, and then it all happened."

The Peacock 1883

"She prepared a light meal for me.  It was exquisite.  I sat in the breakfast room, which seemed appropriate given that the new day was already beginning and soon it would be sunrise.  She set before me a plate of whole grain bread with butter, cheese and orange slices, pear slices and strawberries.  And a tall glass of sparkling mineral water.  Such simple, pure and wholesome food.  The most satisfying meal I think I had ever eaten.  She sat with me, nibbling on the same fare, but said very little.  She did say my name, Letitia, but I didn't know if she was referring to me or someone else, as the water of forgetfulness had already taken effect.  To this day I still can't recall what we were talking about as the water had even destroyed my immediate and short term memory.  I have only just begun to really reconstruct the events from that night." "If you wish, we could do that right now", says Mary. "Thank you,  That would be most helpful.  My lord has helped me piece back together everything I did and was before I drank the water of forgetfulness but everything that happened for some time after is still recalled in only pieces and blurs..."

The Peacock 1882

"It wasn't long before we arrived here at the island.   We didn't speak, but I followed him up the steep path that leads to the house where we now are. He said someone would come out to receive me into this house, so I sat at the edge of the fountain, waiting." "And then you drank the water of forgetfulness", says Jesus. "I was so thirsty after all the alcohol I had imbibed, and I didn't stop to think that the water might be unsafe to drink.  I was so thirsty." "You drank, and then you forgot..." "Everything.  I didn't know who I was, nor my own name, nor how I got here.  "Mary came out to receive me, and even in the dark I could see by her face that she was very kind, and that here I would be well treated... 

The Peacock 1881

"And we already know what happened from there", says Jesus.  "Instead of getting out of the car with you, he drove away and left you helpless and vulnerable.  And then, you saw a boat approaching you on the water." "I was crying, and I felt so frightened, vulnerable and helpless.  The man steering the boat was wearing what looked like a black hoodie.  At first I couldn't see his face, but then he lowered the hood.  A young man, from what I could see in the dark, but there appeared to be a light coming from him and his eyes were so kind.  I was still a bit high so things did seem very intense, but in a quiet, almost musical voice, he said, "Won't you come with me?"  I didn't even think to ask him who he was or where he was going to take me.  He motioned toward what looked like a dock or a wharf nearby.  I climbed onto the boat which he steered over to where I was waiting for him and then I climbed into the boat behind me.  I felt I could trust him, for some reason..

The Peacock 1880

Jesus says, "You said that you picked him up, and not vice versa." And I am reminded here of Jesus' "Woman, you have five husbands" chat with the woman of Samaria. "I was married back then", she says, "to a very cynical and self interested psychiatrist some fifteen years my senior. I at the time was a welfare verification officer, and it was my job to see that those receiving assistance were playing by some very harsh and unjust rules. I hurt a lot of vulnerable people, some of whom committed suicide when, thanks to my interventions they were cut off their meagre assistance and left homeless and on the brink of starvation I had a conscience which I most effectivelly drowned with liquor. I was in Victoria, on the lam from my husband whom I had already grown to hate, I was at a party hosted by a highschool girlfriend. We went clubbing and this incredibly handsome man approached me. I was dancing solo on the floor and already rather high on stuff. I grabbed him by the arm and tried to get him to twirl around with me. He just stood there, his hand holding me firmly by the arm, and said, "You are needed elsewhere.) I told him to fuck off and asked if we could find a quiet beach somewhere where we could have a good shag. "Come with me", was all he said...

The Peacok 1879

"Amaris". says Jesus, "Would you be so kind as to tell everyone here your story." She is wedged between Francois and Jeffrey, her white robe dress (because I cannot tell if it is a dress made to look like a robe or a robe that resembles a dress, but it is completely elegant on her.  Yet there is something about this young woman that suggests she is not even remotely interested in making any fashion statements. "I would be very honoured, my lord",she says, looking around at all of us seated here with her.  If she was indeed in her twenties when she claims to have come here, then now she might be around fifty.  But just as the parents of Jesus seem incredibly ancient, this Amaris appears to have cornered the fountain of youth.  She puts down the fork with which she was just about to spear a wedge of mango. "As Jesus has just mentioned, my name used to be Letitia Van Smit.  I grew up in Richmond where my parents and grandparents settled when they moved here from Holland in the nineteen fifties.  We had a huge cranberry farm that was in later years turned into a subdivision of townhouses and large homes.  As I mentioned already, I was brought here to this island under rather inauspicious circumstances.  I had been invited to a party for a weekend in Victoria, we went nightclubbing and there I picked up a young man who drove me out to Saanich to a remote and deserted beach.  I was not expecting he would leave me there untouched, but soon after came to see what a complete blessing this was going to be...

The Peacock 1878

Jesus looks at Maureen, then at Jennifer and Sarah tenderly but sternly, "I have appointed an angel, one of my servitors, to stand guard over your house.  You three particularly were wounded when the emissaries of darkness tried to gain a foothold in your home.  It is still not time yet for you to return.  First you will all three be staying, remaining here with me, with us, for your healing."  And then, with a playful grin, he adds, "Provided this is where you all want to be." "Yes", says Maureen joyfully, without hesitation. "Yes", says Jennifer, solemn and reticent. "Yes", says Sarah, as though committing herself to a new marriage. Jesus, still smiling, enfolds both Maureen and Jennifer in his arms, then Sarah gets up and hugs him from behind....

The Peacock 1876

Lawrence has already relaxed and is now leaning and cuddling into Mary as she continues to feed him. He has gone curiously quiet as she feeds him like her own baby. "Shall we continue with introductions?" says Jesus. "I don't believe you know three individuals of a particularly difficult provenance, and here they are now in my care. First, Maureen, Jennifer, and Sarah, may I present to you Isabella, who calls herself Stella, Sven, her twin sibling, and their stepfather, Caspar, who is much much older than he appears. And over here we have Kenny, an old and very dear friend of Christopher's who was raised by me from the dead and has lived here in this house with us for many years now. And there", he is gesturing both to Joseph and Mary, "Are my own parents, Mary, whom you would recognize in a much younger form, all draped in blue, and Joseph, not actually my biological father, but still the most dear and loving and patient and kind stepdad one could ever wish for. Do not be deceived by their aged appearance, they are both eternal and stronger and more robust than any twenty year old. And over here is Amaris, formerly called Letiitia Van Smit, who came here more than twenty years ago, lives here as one of my many faithful ones and has been gifted with eternal youth...

The Peacock 1875

As though thoroughly shamed and humiliated, Lawrence does not reply, but bows his head over his plateful of artisanal potato salad.  The ancient Mother of God at his side, she places on his back a consoling hand.  Then she takes hold of his fork with her free hand and as though Lawrence is her darling little infant, she begins to feed him his potato salad.  He accepts and appears to be even beginning to smile. "Christoper", says Jesus.  "When you return to your life in the world you will find that all your ties with the mental health profession will be completely severed and you will be starting anew in my service.  They have built their work upon lies.  I am the truth, and I alone am the truth, and the truth shall make you free."

The Peacock 1874

"I have carefully and thoroughly read all your charts and records.  It's all there, I'm afraid." I am just preparing to raise my voice in my own defence when Jesus raises me a cautionary hand.  "I Am your defense, Christopher."  Then, addressing Lawrence, he goes on to say, "Christopher is my servant.  Any false charge that is made against him must first be directed to me.  Young, Lawrence", and here I just want to laugh because despite the eternal Godhead of our Lord, he looks maybe half Lawrence's age.  "Your profession of psychiatric medicine, and your own mind  have been so tainted and corrupted by secular atheism that I really don't know where to begin.  It would appear that every single person whom I have gifted with visions and revelations is doomed to fall into and suffer gravely in your hands.  Because none of you believe in me, nor  my Father, or the Holy Spirit, you have utterly destroyed the lives of many of my innocent servants with bogus mental illness diagnoses and you have posoned them with drugs and chemicals that have no place in the human organism and banished them to languish in institutions and psychiatric wards.  Christopher has been rescued from this fate, and for this reason I have summoned you here before me: that you come to a place of humility and repentance and that you abandon this specious and dangerous nonsense that pays your keep and return into a life of my service, love and joy..."

The Peacock 1873

The wine is good.  Excellent.  In fact, it is the best wine I have ever tasted.  This is what the finest Bordeaux must aspire to, but this wine that has suddenly miraculously appeared out of a jug of water, would make even the world's finest vintage of Bordeaux taste like plonk. Lawrence has just lowered his glass and now lets it rest on the table in front of him.  Without asking first, Mary is loading onto his dish a potato and black bean salad that is loaded with cubes of cheddar.  We are certainly not going to go hungry here.  Lawrence, not really noticing what is on his plate, seems to be struggling over what to say.  And I do know what is troubling him.  "Lawrence, it's okay.  I don't mind everyone else here knowing that you are my case manager.  I understand that it is a struggle for you, given professional confidentiality and all, which is why I am going to say it for you." This table is well attended.  No one else seems quite ready to pick up their fork.  "Okay, for those of you that don't know yet, I have a mental heath diagnosis.  Which doesn't mean that I am sick, all it means is I have a diagnosis.  Lawrence works at the mental health team where I am a client.  Lawrence is my case manager." "I would never have guessed, Christopher, that you have a mental illness", says Maureen. "I don't.  I have a mental health diagnosis.. "You're absolutely right, Christopher", ssys Lawrence.  "You have made an awesome recovery", and with that he has just speared  with his fork a chunk of potato that he is now lifting to his mouth. "I beg to differ.  I was never ill to begin with.  I was given a false diagnosis"

The Peacock1869

Jennifer pipes up.  "We happen, all three of us, to already have plenty of responsibilities in Vancouver, where we also happen to live." "Stepson, you are the lord here.  What do you say?" "That no one must ever be, nor feel, held here against their will.  I have already said that if anyone wants to leave, then after dinner, arrangements can be made to get them off this island and return them to their home." "We're on an island?" says Jennifer, trying to contain the rising panic in her voce. "Where are we, and how did we get here?" "Apparently", says Carl, "We are on an uncharted island somewhere between Saltspring and Saturna or Mayne, I think." "But how did we get here", says Maureen, indignation rising in her voice. "And who are you?" "Mother", says Jesus to Mary, "would you be so kind please as to go to the kitchen, fill the cut  crystal jug, and bring it to the table here?" "Right away, my Lord", says Mary, getting up from the table...

The Peacock 1872

"Well then, how are we supposed to communicate", she says, still annoyed and indignant. "With one another.  And now that dinner has started may I introduce you to everyone here?  Of course you already know some of us here, and I trust that between you and I, Maureen and Jennifer, that no introductions should be necessary."  Jesus gestures grandly towards his ancient mother at the other end of the table from him, flanked by her husband, Joseph, on her right and Lawrence on her left. "First this my most blessed mother.  You all know her name by now, and no she is not a sweet young girl robed in blue, but a grand dame of ancient lineage who plays an integral role in my work in the cosmos.  Do not let her appearance deceive you for she has become, like my stepfather here on her right, eternal.  And Lawrence, who is destined to become a mighty warrior of grace, would you care to say a few words..but first let me propose a toast", says Jesus, holding forth his fluted glass of wine.. "With this wine that is red, may the sacred blood that ever runs in my holy veins flow and mingle and consecrate and make holy and bring redemptive life to each one here..."

The Peacock 1871

Does this remind you of anything?" he says playfully to his mother "I am hoping that others be similarly reminded, my lord." "The wedding feast at Cana of Galilee", blurts Jennifer  Her greying blonde hair is already beginning to loosen from the tight bun she has wound it in and now the light captured in her loose strands of hair grant her a messy sort of transfigured appearance. "But", says Maureen softly and slowly, "But you don't look like Jesus." "And how are you going to know, my love, how I am going to look?  Surely you have seen recent photos." "No one knows for sure just what Jesus looked like" says Jennifer, producing her smartphone.  She tries to turn it on.  Then tries again and again, pressing each time harder until I am afraid it is going to come shooting out of her hand. Our lord with a gentle smile says as he lifts his fluted glass of wine to his lips.  There is nothing wrong with your phone, Jennifer.  But, we do not have wifi here."

The Peacok 1868

"You..you can't be more than sixteen". Maureen stammers  She looks almost exactly like a gobsmacked schoolteacher whose star pupil has just redefined in front of the class everything she is trying to teach them. "How many sixteen year olds do you know can summon you at will no matter where you might happen to be, no matter how many miles or kilometres you have to cross, and in the twinkling of an eye you are here?  Oh, and won't you have some blue cheese dip with some sourdough bread?  My father here just made them and they are delicious.  Or should I say my stepfather because my mother happened to be already pregnant with me before they were married."  He gestures towards the ancient Joseph who is seated now next to Jennifer.  "Not bad at all for a retired carpenter." Maureen looks at Joseph as though she cannot believe what she is seeing.  He says to her, "I am very pleased to meet you, Maureen, and I do hope that this humble fare is up to your standards.  By the way, I understand that you three, with Jennifer and Sarah, also happen to be librarians.  One of the many reasons you have been summoned is we need someone to curate our vast home library here on the premises..."

The Peacock 1867

Jennifer pipes up.  "We happen, all three of us, to already have plenty of responsibilities in Vancouver, where we also happen to live." "Stepson, you are the lord here.  What do you say?" "That no one must ever be, nor feel, held here against their will.  I have already said that if anyone wants to leave, then after dinner, arrangements can be made to get them off this island and return them to their home." "We're on an island?" says Jennifer, trying to contain the rising panic in her voce. "Where are we, and how did we get here?" "Apparently", says Carl, "We are on an uncharted island somewhere between Saltspring and Saturna or Mayne, I think." "But how did we get here", says Maureen, indignation rising in her voice. "And who are you?" "Mother", says Jesus to Mary, "would you be so kind please as to go to the kitchen, fill the cut  crystal jug, and bring it to the table here?" "Right away, my Lord", says Mary, getting up from the table... Mary has returned with a jug carved from the most splendid cut lead crystal I have ever seen in my life.  The lines swirl in well ordered arabesques and labyrinths of shining rainbows.   "Jennifer", says Jesus, holding the jug in two hands, "May I pour you a glass of wine?" "From a jug of water?" and she seems on the verge of peeling out in derisive laughter. "How about a glass of red living water, then?"  He is not going to relent, but it wound't be like Jesus to relent. Reluctantly, Jennifer holds forth her fluted glass.  As Jesus pours, it is not water, but what appears to be red wine filling her glass. "Maureen, it's your turn", he says smiling.  "Into Maureen's glass also pours water that turns red as it touches the glass.  Then he turns to the rest of us, getting up from his chair, and pouring water into each fluted glass, that turns suddenly into red wine as it touches the glass.  I would never imagine that jug could hold enough for everybody, but it seems to miraculously replenish itself with each pouring...

The Peacock1867

Jennifer and Maureen both appear very small next to Tron as he escorts them both to the table.  They are both quiet, demure, as though they have not yet begun to absorb the shock of their sudden transport here. "It is such a delight to have you both as honoured guests, my noble ladies", says Jesus .  "Tron, please escort Maureen to sit here on my left, and Jennifer will sit on my right.  "Noble ladies, you will both see that already places have been set for you here."  He could look like any sixteen year old boy, but for the light that seems to be shining from his face and the exacting wisdom that makes his eyes suddenly piercing and penetrating. Maureen appears to be just beginning to emerge from out of her fog of shock and disbelief.  "Excuse me, young man", she says hesitantly "But...but who are you?" "I am often asked that question, Maureen" he says discreetly.  "And if you had no other precedent for identifying me, then pray tell me what would you call me." I am dipping half a pita pocket into the hummus that Jesus and I made.  She stares at him dumbfounded.  I know better than to say a word, and everyone here, even the loquacious Sarah, simply seem unable to speak right now...

The Peacock 1866

This dining room, or should I call it a dining hall, is huge, massive, spacious and expansive,  the table is long, highly polished oak, with Jesus seated at the head.  The walls are the colours of fine Wedgewood pottery, and are adorned with colourful paintings and tapestries.  Mary, Joseph, Kenny and Amaris are each bringing out the food.  Nothing hot, but plates and bowls loaded with salads, fruits, cheese and sauces and dips and more varieties of bread than one could scarcely imagine.  To drink, lemon flavoured sparkling water is being poured by Lan into each of our fluted glasses.  Jesus has just invoked a blessing with raised hands, and then suddenly Tron appears in the doorway. My lord, we have two new guests waiting in the entrance hall. "Ah, Maureen and Jennifer.  Finally they are here.  Do bring them in, my noble Tron, and so the towering beautiful angelic being sweeps out of the room in a blur of shining emerald and gold...

The Peacock 1865

Jason continues: "She was standing there waiting for us, but suddenly we were no longer in your house, Christopher.  We are stumbling into this place here.  She said, "Welcome home, then taking us each gently by the arm, escorted us here where you all seem to have been waiting for us." "And we have been waiting for you", says Jesus.  "You will know most of us here, save for Kenny, Sven and Isabella, they are twins, and Isabella, prefers to be known as Stella.  And next to me here is Caspar who has a very long history, despite his youthful appearance, and over here is Lawrence, who is particularly new to everyone here. "I'm so glad you both came, " says Sarah beaming.  Like Carl she seems to have made her home here. "There are still others waiting to join us", says our youthful lord, but dinner is about to be served.  Shall we all rise and proceed to the dining room..."

The Peacock 1859

"Look who's here!" chimes Carl as we file into the sitting room to rejoin our friends.   "How did you get here?" says Francois, pulling back the empty chair next to him where Jeffrey seats himself.  George has found a spot next to Caspar, and now it occurs to me they haven't met.  Amaris has also found a chair on my left, on the other side of Jesus where he has just planted himself. "Amaris here came to get us." "Hello", she says, with a broad smile. "I am Francois." "I am very pleased to meet you." "You must live here", says Carl.  "Oh, I'm Carl, by the way.  Did you just arrive, yourself?" "I live here", Amaris replies without further ado. say I to Amaris, gesturing to the others in the room, "And this is Sven, and his sister, Stella, Sarah, Lawrence. and Jesús, and Caspar." "And where did you get to", says Carl to me. "Tron took me on a bit of a tour.  We sat in a kind of reading room for a bit, looking at this book with  beautiful colour plate of two peacocks, and we somehow entered the picture and it brought us to a garden and  fountain where Jesus was seated and then suddenly I was in the kitchen with him and his parents helping them make dinner, if you can imagine." "Which is going to be served shortly", says Jesus  "We are just waiting for two more arrivals..."

The Peacock 1864

Lan has just escorted into our midst Lazarus and Jason, both of them looking lost and bewildered as they sink into the two armchairs near the extra doorway. "So do tell us how you got here", says Carl, who appears to have already made himself completely at home here. Jason suddenly lights up, his face like that of a small child getting out of bed on Christmas morning and stumbling into a living room with tons of exquisitely wrapped presents glittering underneath the Christmas tree. "I'm back", he announces, almost laughing.  "I can't believe it.  I never would have guessed I would ever see this place again."  Then, grabbing his partner's arm, says in his ear, but for all of us to hear, " Sable.  See.  Look all around you  This is the place I was telling you all about."  Then looking at our eternally youthful host, "And now I know you, I know who you are.  You never came out and identified yourself to me the first time I was here and you wouldn't leave my side. But..." "You already knew me, Jason.  Just as you know me now." Lazarus is silent, furtively glancing around. "Sable,  this isn't a dream.  We are here.  We finally got here." "How did you  both get here", say I. "We were just opening the front door to get into your house", says Lazarus, then pointing to Lan who has returned to standing by Lindstrom's side, "And there she was standing on the other side of the threshold..."

The Peacock 1862

"But,Jesus, you just let me go on renting out my body, night after day after night, to such disgusting male scum and I mean elite lawyers, doctors, politicians, academics, and it was all so humiliating that after a while I had to go into becoming a professional dominatrix if only to save whatever was left of my dignity." "Your dignity." "You know damn bloody well what I am saying. At least by tying them up and spanking them I was able to maintain some measure of control." "And that is why I sent Carl to you. And speaking of dignity and control, please do not forget what I permitted them to do to me, stripping me of all my dignity so I could hang bleeding and naked for all to see from that cross. My love for you, Isabella, forbade my dignity." "Very well, Lord", she replies demurely, head briefly bowed and eyes closed. "It is especially because of the nature of your natural father that I have had to allow extreme humiliations for both you and your brother, because satanic arrogance is even to me almost impossible to eradicate. But for both of you it has been working, and it is working beautifully..."

The Peacock 1861

"And we sat together in silence for some time after, Isabella."  I find it curious that like Caspar, suddenly Jesus is addressing her as Isabella."And just before I left, I did ask you if you knew who I Am."  And yes, of course.  I Am.  Before Abraham was. I Am.  And that is when the Pharisees picked up stones to hurl at him, but he got away.  And here, we are in the presence of the Great I Am "And I replied that, of course, who else would have done what you had just done for me.  I just wasn't expecting a teenage boy.  Then you left.  We had two more meetings, and then, just before I moved to Amsterdam, instead of commanding me to get out of the life of prostitution I was leading, you almost encouraged me to continue.  Why?  Jesus, I want to know why?" "You weren't ready or willing yet to stop.  And I will have no will placed grudgingly on my altar.  Even at my command you would have continued anyway in your life of sin.  But I did also create for you a way out of that life, and for this you have here our friend Carl to thank..."

The Peacock 1860

I believe they have arrived.  Shall I receive them, Lord?" "Lan is already awaiting them.  Now", he says, directing on us his kind green eyes.  "How is everyone now?  Stella, you have some questions for me?" "I have many questions for you, Jesus", she says, her voice quavering, "Many many questions." "Starting with that first meeting we had in Barcelona." "I didn't even know who you were at the time.  I was sitting, kneeling actually, in the Familia Sagrada church, then you came in so surreptitiously and sat down next to me. You didn't say anything for a while.  You just sat there, and I wondered, who the hell is this kid and what the hell does he want with me right now.  But then you placed your hand on my back.  I shuddered, but then this sweet, calm peace entered into me.  And I knew I was going to be alright..."

The Peacock 1859

"And that is what brought you here.  What was your life like before you came here." "I was a spoiled selfish arrogant little rich girl, too beautiful for my own good.  I trained in social work and became employed by the social services ministry whose mandate had become making it as hard as possible for the most vulnerable to survive.  It was all part of a massive social cleansing pogrom against the poor in our province.  My role was to catch people cheating on welfare and to make it impossible for them to receive further assistance, no matter how much it was needed.  It wasn't long before the streets of our city became just littered with homeless and beggars.  Our gracious Lord has redeemed and saved me from much." "Look who's here!" chimes Carl as we file into the sitting room to rejoin our friends.   "How did you get here?" says Francois, pulling back the empty chair next to him where Jeffrey seats himself.  George has found a spot next to Caspar, and now it occurs to me they haven't met.  Amaris has also found a chair on my left, on the other side of Jesus where he has just planted himself. "Amaris here came to get us." "Hello", she says, with a broad smile. "I am Francois." "I am very pleased to meet you." "You must live here", says Carl.  "Oh, I'm Carl, by the way.  Did you just arrive, yourself?" "I live here", Amaris replies without further ado. say I to Amaris, gesturing to the others in the room, "And this is Sven, and his sister, Stella, Sarah, Lawrence. and Jesús, and Caspar." "And where did you get to", says Carl to me. "Tron took me on a bit of a tour.  We sat in a kind of reading room for a bit, looking at this book with  beautiful colour plate of two peacocks, and we somehow entered the picture and it brought us to a garden and  fountain where Jesus was seated and then suddenly I was in the kitchen with him and his parents helping them make dinner, if you can imagine." "Which is going to be served shortly", says Jesus  "We are just waiting for two more arrivals..."

The Peacock 1858

Jesus leads us back through the corridors and sitting rooms while Amaris walks beside me, and George and Jeffrey trailing closely behind. "How long have you been here?", I ask Amaris. "twenty years it will be next month." "Then you must have been just a little girl when you first came here." "I was already twenty-seven." "You still look younger than thirty." "It is something I scarce understand, myself.  I seldom look in the mirror.  Perhaps in the mornings to see that my hair is in place, but otherwise, I have lost all interest in my physical appearance." "Are you of the same kind as Tron or Lan?" "They are both different classes of beings.  Lan is what they call an archangel.  Tron is another sort of servitor, but they each sprang into being many thousands of years ago, at different stages of our development and evolution as human beings, and particularly as we and our impact on the earth began going from bad to serious.  And now unfortunately our impact and our state is now very grave, for which cause our fairest Lord has called me as well into his service.  I am human like you, but no longer mortal.  There are others here like me working in his service." "and that is why you were able to just magically appear in Vancouver in order to teleport my friends, George and Jeffrey back here with you."   "It is because here, even though we are still on earth, we are not subject here to the laws of the earth nor the material universe, but live in a place that is beyond and outside of time and space.  It is all very complicated.  Our Lord on various occasions has tried to explain this to us but our brains, unfortunately, are still in a very mortal condition." ""Has your name always been Amaris?" "That is the name that Jesus gave to me shortly after I recovered my memory.  It has three meanings: promised by God, bitter, and beloved.  When I came here, actually, I was lost.  I had been at a weekend party in Victoria, then was off in some man's car up the Saanich Peninsula to a remote beach where we were supposed to camp all night making love, but then something dreadful happened.  The man, as soon as we got out of the car, simply stayed in the car and drove away without me.  I was left weeping and wailing on the beach all  alone after midnight when this man in a boat came ashore and brought me here to this island on the boat with him..."

The Peacock 1857

While George grovels at the feet of our Lord, Jesus gently bends down and places his hand on his head. "George", he says softly, tenderly and authoritatively, "I have sought you for so long, all these long years and now you have come to me.  Now you have come home.  Won't you rise up and come in with me now,"  George, with help from the hands of Jesus, rises slowly to his feet, and is suddenly enfolded in a warm embrace.  As Jesus releases him, he then says to Jeffrey, "Come in, dear Jeffery.  You have taken good care of him for me, I see, and you now are always welcome here in your home."  And then he also holds Jeffrey in a hug, as warm, close and loving as with George.  "Come in, come in, both of you and stay and dine with us here for soon the food is ready... " 

The Peacock 1856

"Surprise", say I, though I really wanted to say what a lovely surprise, but there is something about the atmosphere in this place that promotes brutal sincere honesty, without adornments. To Jesus Amaris says, "As you bade me Lord, I went to fetch them from where they were in Vancouver.  They were altogether cooperative but once we reached the front door, they suddenly refused to come in." "How did you guys get here?" say I. "We were just walking back to the house, your house, from the bus stop, when this woman suddenly appears and starts walking with us", says George.  All she said was you are both needed, and then, poof, here we are standing in front of this door.  She says, please come in with me, and neither of us was going to. "George.  And Jeffrey", says Jesus in tender reproach.  "How could you so disapprove of my hospitality?" "It's you", says George suddenly, as though his eyes have just been opened.  He makes a step towards Jesus then falls on his face at the feet of our young and eternal Lord.

The Peacock 1855

"Is there anything else that needs to be done?" say I, quite rejoicing in finally feeling myself useful around here. "I think Joseph and Mary can be trusted to take care of everything", says Jesus, putting his hand on my back. Something warm and sweet is entering my body from his hand. "I think you and I are both needed elsewhere." Without any further questions, obediently I follow him through several rooms and corridors. At the front door,a young woman dressed in a flowing white gown is standing there as though expecting us. She has long flowing blonde hair, and is really arrestingly pretty. With a smile she says, "We have visitors, my Lord." "Won't you open the door then, please, Amaris?" She pulls open the looming dark wooden door, and I cannot believe my eyes, though I don't know why I still get surprised around here. George and Jeffrey are both standing there, as though they have both just woken from a bad dream...

The Peacock 1854

Jesus has just scooped the last of the hummus mixture from the blender.  That will be at least three blenders full. Now he presents me with three lemons and a knife.  "Christopher, could you be so kind as to cut and squeeze the juice from these lemons into the hummus I have just prepared.  I have already added the salt , cumin and cardamom.   The sharp sweet fragrance of the lemons fills me like the sense of the divine presence itself as I cut open each one and dutifully squeeze in the juice.  "I've never made hummus before," say I. "Well, now you have learned how, my friend". says he, handing me a wooden spoon with which I thoroughly mix it all into the savoury mass. "Shall I begin making the blue cheese dip?" says Joseph to his holy stepson. "Please, father, if you could", says Jesus.  Then to me he says, "You know, Christopher, Joseph was always more than a stepdad to me.  He always treated Me as his own natural son, And often told me what a precious gift I Am from God our Father.  Matthew, Mark, Luke and John did not have all the inside information about our family.  Plus, he was always incredibly gentle and patient with me.  He never once laid a hand on me that was not gentle or affectionate." To Joseph, who is smiling while chopping blue cheese into a bowl, I say, "So you are the good cop and Mary is bad cop.". "Oh my charming lovely family", she says, rolling her eyes with one of the most ironic smiles I have ever seen.

The Peacock 1851

Jesus sprinkles in salt, pepper, and another spice, I suspect cumin or coriander, then another, and another, then fastens the lid and turns on the blender. "did you have hummus back in the day?" I ask his mother, not sure how to frame the question tactfully.. "You used to make hummus, right?" says Jesus. "You already know", she says with a tincture of exasperation, then to me says, "How would you like to raise a child knowing but refusing to accept that he also happens to be God?" "I imagine he would have been a challenge", say I , smiling mischievously at our Lord, who simply operates with a wide grin on his face the blender.    He doesn't appear to have heard us over the loud electronic whine from the blender.  When it is done he says, "There weren't a lot of options back in the day.  They didn't have a lot in the way of birth control."

The Peacock 1850

Jesus gets up and returns, first with a huge bowl full of garbanzos, then comes back again with a jar of tahini. He gets up one more time for a couple of lemons and a bulb of garlic. "And now", he says to me, "We are going to make hummus.. Christopher, please be so kind as to go to that lower cupboard to the left of the sink. There you will find a blender. Please bring it here to the table." That would have been the very tone of voice he used when he told his disciples to go and fetch a certain donkey that he would be triumphantly riding into Jerusalem on. Jesus riding a donkey. Not a horse. As I dump the first batch of garbanzos into the blender, I ask him, "Jesus, I have a question for you." "And I know exactly what you are going to ask me. I would never have driven a car, even had they been available in Palestine two thousand years ago. Then, I walked only in humility, and today now, I walk only in humility. "How about a bicycle¡" "Maybe a skateboard", he replies smiling as he spoons in some tahini on top of the garbanzos...

The Peacock 1849

This place vaguely resembles the grounds of Carl's mansion. It is indeed a southern magnolia where the two peacocks are perching, but it is larger, grander with more plate sized creamy white flowers and more spreading. The peacocks have both inclined their heads as though to observe us more carefully. A soft, gentle and almost intolerable sweet musical note proceeds from Tron's mouth, and the two peacocks hop down from the branch and begin to walk with us. We are on a path paved with grey and white stones, surrounded by flower beds and trees. I dare not ask where we are. The silence, but for the occasional birdsong, is all enveloping. We cannot be anywhere in Canada. The birds, such as they are, sound tropical, and there are magenta, red and violet bursts of bougainvillea and scarlet and orange hibiscus flowers. I hear the soft plashing of water and the path leads us to a small circular fountain, in a round plaza surrounded by low stone benches. On the one just on the other side of the fountain is seated the young Jesus. He smiles sweetly, then whispers something to Tron, who promptly walks away in another direction,behind our lord. "All paths lead to me, " he says gently, as I take my seat at his side. With his right hand he strokes back my hair, then gently kisses my forehead. The press of his lips on my skin is soft, a little bit moist, and I feel a sudden and unexpected peace flowing into my being. "where are we" "We are in my kitchen." "But this looks like a garden with a fountain." "It is that too", he says, and suddenly, I am seated with him at a kitchen table, where Mary is also seated slicing various cheeses onto a plate, and Joseph is mixing something in a bowl.