1.
a deeply distressing or disturbing experience.
"a personal trauma like the death of a child"
- emotional shock following a stressful event or a physical injury, which may be associated with physical shock and sometimes leads to long-term neurosis.
2.
Medicine
physical injury.
Whether trauma is bad or good might be a moot point, but one thing is sure: it is bloody painful. I have a devotional book I read sometimes, called Streams In The Desert, and it contains at least one selection that suggests that trauma has value a spiritual tool. The idea is that those of us who are likely to be compassionate and empathic, those of us who become healers, have ourselves suffered and survived trauma. This is very true. I work in a healing profession as a mental health peer support worker. It is very simple, no frills kind of work. Using my own experience of trauma and recovery I am able, with professional training and related vocational experience, walk with others who struggle with mental health issues and participate in their journey to recovery and wholeness.
Had it not been for my personal experience of trauma and heartbreak I would be completely useless in this kind of work. As much as I value this initiation I would wish it on nobody, not even my worst enemy. Experiencing rejection, loneliness, abandonment, abuse, bullying and slander over and over again did not destroy me. I got through it. I was traumatized, yes, but even then I was trying to see the whole picture and even then I was already working out the terms of my healing. I knew this would eventually make me stronger, even if for a time I felt very weak indeed.
I never ask the question, "Why me?" because this is such a universal human experience. Perhaps I could ask, "Why not me?" When I think of the tragic horrible and dreadful history of our humanity it doesn't seem at all unusual that I should have suffered, yet all the more marvellous, even miraculous that I have found not only healing for myself but the skills of a healer.
There are also those who go through this kind of hell unscathed. Unbroken, unbowed, they are more determined than ever to celebrate their victory and move on. I have heard of people who have survived traumatic experiences without trauma as being able to somehow leave all the bitter and awful memories behind and soldier on like a force of nature. Forgetting appears to be the key word here.
Yet I wonder if in the forgetting there is also a kind of psychic or emotional amputation that is inevitable. If in failing to adequately process the nightmare and it's fallout could result in living in a state of denial and that eventually the trauma will sneak up on them and bite their ass. I have heard of this happening, I have seen it and I have experienced it.
There is a central concept to Christianity which may take a different form in other faiths of the centrality of weakness, suffering and death, preceding a resurrection that can only come through suffering and through weakness and dying. Jesus' words as recorded by St. John the apostle, that unless a grain of wheat falls into the ground and dies it remains alone, but if it dies it will yield an abundant harvest, remain to me as alive and powerful as the first day I read them as a teenage Jesus Freak. Also the words of St. Paul: When I am weak, then am I strong because God perfects his strength through our human weakness.
Whether you are a Christian, or religious, or agnostic or atheist I still think there is a universal truth here that could benefit anyone. When we are defeated is when we learn humility and humility is the true breeding ground of love. Our boundary of apartness from others is dissolved and we see ourselves as one with humanity. We learn empathy, especially if we are receiving care from others. We discover that we all rise together if we are to rise at all.
Only personal suffering could teach me this and only personal suffering could make me teachable. Blame it on society, blame it on life, blame it on anything you want. This is part of the universal human conundrum, the reality and universality of suffering which without love can only remain horrible, awful and meaningless.
Had it not been for my personal experience of trauma and heartbreak I would be completely useless in this kind of work. As much as I value this initiation I would wish it on nobody, not even my worst enemy. Experiencing rejection, loneliness, abandonment, abuse, bullying and slander over and over again did not destroy me. I got through it. I was traumatized, yes, but even then I was trying to see the whole picture and even then I was already working out the terms of my healing. I knew this would eventually make me stronger, even if for a time I felt very weak indeed.
I never ask the question, "Why me?" because this is such a universal human experience. Perhaps I could ask, "Why not me?" When I think of the tragic horrible and dreadful history of our humanity it doesn't seem at all unusual that I should have suffered, yet all the more marvellous, even miraculous that I have found not only healing for myself but the skills of a healer.
There are also those who go through this kind of hell unscathed. Unbroken, unbowed, they are more determined than ever to celebrate their victory and move on. I have heard of people who have survived traumatic experiences without trauma as being able to somehow leave all the bitter and awful memories behind and soldier on like a force of nature. Forgetting appears to be the key word here.
Yet I wonder if in the forgetting there is also a kind of psychic or emotional amputation that is inevitable. If in failing to adequately process the nightmare and it's fallout could result in living in a state of denial and that eventually the trauma will sneak up on them and bite their ass. I have heard of this happening, I have seen it and I have experienced it.
There is a central concept to Christianity which may take a different form in other faiths of the centrality of weakness, suffering and death, preceding a resurrection that can only come through suffering and through weakness and dying. Jesus' words as recorded by St. John the apostle, that unless a grain of wheat falls into the ground and dies it remains alone, but if it dies it will yield an abundant harvest, remain to me as alive and powerful as the first day I read them as a teenage Jesus Freak. Also the words of St. Paul: When I am weak, then am I strong because God perfects his strength through our human weakness.
Whether you are a Christian, or religious, or agnostic or atheist I still think there is a universal truth here that could benefit anyone. When we are defeated is when we learn humility and humility is the true breeding ground of love. Our boundary of apartness from others is dissolved and we see ourselves as one with humanity. We learn empathy, especially if we are receiving care from others. We discover that we all rise together if we are to rise at all.
Only personal suffering could teach me this and only personal suffering could make me teachable. Blame it on society, blame it on life, blame it on anything you want. This is part of the universal human conundrum, the reality and universality of suffering which without love can only remain horrible, awful and meaningless.
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