Stranger Than Fiction, 29

I went to Mexico for the first time in 2009.  It was another interesting year.  We went through one of our most severe winters on record that year, 2008-2009.  It was snow, deep snow at times, nonstop from December 14 till mid-February.  This never happened before and it really had people questioning if we really were undergoing global warming.  (The quick answer to that is "Yes, and it's also called Climate Change!)

I was really suffering during that time from my sense of social isolation and from having lost my family.  I didn't know that my father died in 2009.  I found this out three years later, during a very unexpected phone call from an aged maternal aunt I hadn't seen in twenty years when only after I asked some leading questions did she spill the beans.  He died from Alzheimer's.  I somehow had suspected this.  My father mentioned something during our final visit.  He only alluded to it and would not respond to my probing.  My brother, who had my contact information did nothing to keep me informed.  I had lost his contact info and I also knew and accepted how hopeless the likelihood of our ever being friends.  On top of everything else though I was in therapy recovering from the results of the abuse and lifelong mistreatment from my family that had given me PTSD to begin with.  I was too vulnerable to see or be in contact with any of my family.

In 2008 I knew I would be alone for Christmas.  I sent out a general email to friends and coworkers about this, telling them this was painful to me and asking for ideas or support.  One "friend" emailed me back saying she does not feel sorry for people who feel sorry for themselves.  I promptly ended the friendship.  Another told me that I was being needy.  Only after I extracted from her an apology was our friendship also spared from the chopping block.  But this one is still under surveillance.

Of course, I was not invited anywhere for Christmas.  None of my friends are really that committed to my wellness I'm afraid.  I worked instead at Venture, the small psychiatric facility where I work.  I hung out with the patients, took them out for coffee and stayed for dinner.  While it wasn't wonderful it was still okay and I got paid for my time there.  I have been doing this every Christmas ever since.  I also often try to have one or two people over for brunch with me Christmas Day, or will take a friend who really has nowhere to go out for coffee or a bite.  It isn't all bad.

I began working with a couple of Latin American clients, communicating in Spanish while trying to help them with English.  Because of confidentiality issues I cannot reveal any more about them but they gave me invaluable help with my Spanish and during the four years we worked together my Spanish improved remarkably.

I had also joined a Christian social justice group and was regularly attending meetings and workshops that especially focussed around issues of homelessness and legislated poverty.  I did a presentation about homelessness, the text of which I will put in a future blog post.  This group never really became for me the community or extended family that I was seeking.  I was still in the process of learning that this is something that is likely never going to happen for me anywhere and to learn to live with it.  It's still a struggle at times but I seem to be doing a lot better the last couple of years.

We were preparing for the Winter Olympics that were going to be held here in Vancouver February 2010.  We are all in this network of resistance universally opposed to the Olympics because of the displacement and mistreatment and marginalization that always occurs for people on low incomes in order to make way for the event.  We of course were the minority.

It was in October that I went to Mexico City.  I will provide you here with some samples from my travel blog:

Oct 27, 2009

So far this is what I like and what I don´t like about Mexico City:  What I like: 1. The climate.  In spite of the rain and cold mornings we´ve been getting lately it is often sunny and warm in the daytime, but not hot, with temperatures between 15 and 22 degrees.  The thunderstorms are an added treat. 2. Architecture.  Lots to choose from dating back to the sixteenth century.  I especially like the Baroque churches. 3. Statues and monuments everywhere commemorating the many figures who have helped form the nation and culture of Mexico.  4. La Condesa, where I am staying because it is quiet and peaceful. 5. The Red Tree House.  They spoil us here.  The dog is sweet too. 6. Parks, lots of them, especially Chapultepec, which is huge. 7. The museums and art galleries.  Lots to visit, especially the Museum of Anthropology. 8. Paseo de la Reforma.  Mexico City´s grand boulevard which makes  all others look like alleys. 9. Spanish immersion.  I only have to be out in public and eavesdropping and it´s like a free tutorial. 10. The Metro, which is their subway system.  Fare is very cheap, equivilant to less than twenty cents Canadian, and the trains are fast and they take you everywhere. Don´t like: 1. The traffic.  Chelangos should not be allowed ever to sit behind a steering wheel.  Not ever. Traffic is thick, steady, fast, and they treat pedestrians like roadkill. 2. The social inequality.  A few rich, an expanding middle class and lots  of desperately poor who have to struggle to survive. 3. The constant onslaught of hawkers and beggars (see #2) 4. The military presence.  (see #2) 5. The fact that people are allowed to smoke on restaurant and cafe patios,  thus limiting the options of people who are sensitive to smoke and concerned for their respiratory  health. 6. The Metro.  The many hawkers who come on board yelling and playing loud cd demos should be kicked off promptly and immediately. (see #2) 7. The crowds.  I have never seen so many people in one  place. 8. The altitude.  I have been here ten days at least and I´m still  not used to the thin air, which makes long walks  a bit challenging, but I go on them anyway. 9. The way this city is laid out.  It isn´t really.  Too much sudden and rapid growth has created a horrific urban sprawl where you have some very ugly parts jammed up against very beautiful places. 10. The autopistas (freeways,  see #1).  They are everywhere, and they ruin the quality of life for people here, and I think they should be converted into rapid transit routes.  A hard lesson we  are  learning in Vancouver is that the only way to get people to take alternative forms of transit is to make life inconvenient and downright miserable for people who drive

I have mentioned already that we have quite a huge range of guests here from all over the world, some very interesting, most very pleasant, a few quite insufferable. This is for me a marvelous opportunity for developing and honing my social skill

 

Nov 3, 2009

I have mentioned already that we have quite a huge range of guests here from  all  over the world, some  very interesting, most very pleasant, a few quite insufferable.  This is for me a marvelous opportunity for developing and honing my social skills.  I have already mentioned that  my skills, experience and training in mental health work have been  invaluable in providing  me with the ability to handle these people.  I think I already mentioned that I treat them like clients, not clinically, but respectfully and with care.  Occasionally, I do have to use a little assertiveness, especially with this insufferably uppity British gay couple.  Actually one of them I think is okay, but his partner is quite a snotty little twit.  Things almost  came to a head this evening while we were sipping wine (in my case ice water) in the living room.  A nice American couple were present, and fortunately we already have a rapport so this helped diffuse the passive-aggression I was getting from the other couple, or at least from the twit.  This feels in a way a bit like a victory for me, because in previous situations I have allowed people like that to cow and upset me.  However, as Eleanor Roosevelt famously said ¨No one can make you feel inferior without your own consent.¨ So, I paid them back in the same coin.  When, after getting the silent treatment the wife of the American couple asked me how my day went, as I was describing it Mr. and Mr. Twit began chatting quite loudly between themselves in classic British upper class passive-aggression.  Then at one point one of them asked the  Americans how long they were staying.  Then I looked directly at Mr. and Mr. Twit and said with a cruel little smile  on my face ¨And when are YOU leaving?¨  Thank God they´re out of here tomorrow.  I also put the nicer partner to work looking some  things up on the Internet for us since we were talking about birds and wanted to see some of them.  The fact of the matter is I really hate doing this kind of battle with people, it´s exhausting, I would rather be nice and get along with everyone but sometimes you have to fight back.  In this case for me leaving the room was not an option because it  would have been accepting defeat, and I have as much a  right to be here as Twit and partner (and vice-versa).  At one point during the conversation, once I had fully elbowed my way in, we were talking about parrots and what high maintenance they can be as pets.  The nicer partner mentioned, I think not too kindly, that his partner is already pretty high-maintenance already.  I replied, ¨I´m not going to touch that one with a barge-pole.¨  Of  course they pretended they didn´t hear me. November 13, 2009 I just did a walk along Obregon in the middle of the boulevard, enjoying again the statues and fountains.  However the traffic as always is deadly and many of the crossings are particularly dangerous with a lack of visible pedestrian lights and drivers who seem to think their last name is God and their first name is Jesus or Mohammed.  I came very close to getting run over a couple of times and gave the drivers a sample of Canadian road rage.  I know I´ve already promised not to harp on about this but this has sent my brain wheels spinning.  I believe that the traffic in this city is a metaphor and this indicates a huge need for social change here.  Mexico is still considered a developing country.  Whether it is a failed state as some journalists have proposed is to me open to debate and the jury remains out on this subject.  However, the sense of entitlement that drivers have here, and the dense volume of traffic, abetted by the many autopistas criss-crossing the city, begs a few observations here.  First of all, why would any government permit traffic to so get out of hand that this should jeopardize the lives and safety of so many of its own citizens? (I will not mention  here pollution, carbon emissions or air-quality as these are already-givens)  What does this say about the society here, the values and the infrastructure?  Well, owning your own car is a huge rite of passage in the lives of the huge majority of Mexicans, as it is for many Americans and Canadians.  It symbolizes independence, freedom, power and social status.  Sounds a bit like the American Way, huh?  The powerful trampling, or running over the vulnerable?  To my knowledge Mexico has never been governed by a social-democratic administration.  Following seventy years of quasi-fascist rule, this country has since had Vicente Fox and now Felipe Calderon for presidents, both conservatives.  Conservative values tend to be centred in law and order, the primacy of the family (and in many cases, the church) and free enterprise, and a strong military presence.  Individual rights and freedoms  (especially economic rights and rights to housing, health care and education) are subordinated to the demands of the state and society.  Wealth is concentrated and contained in the upper echelons of society. The care of the poor and vulnerable is relegated to the family, the church and charity work.  This of course creates a huge underclass of desperately poor, unemployed and underemployed, creating a flourishing industry of crime that is further opposed through draconian measures of law-enforcement and punishment, creating a nasty vicious circle, which this country is gravely suffering from now.  Now what does this have to do with traffic?  Well, first of all the auto and petroleum industries need to be kept going, as this provides employment, foreign investment and a fat economy, theoretically anyway.  This also matches up with people´s needs to assert their value as individuals in a society that does not care whether or not they exist.  This also pairs rather well with the huge pressures that working people live under in order to survive: especially the competitive pressures of maintaining remunerative employment and balancing long hours of hard work with their families and social networks.  So, they drive everywhere, demand better and more efficient roads and freeways which further undermines the quality of life for the community.  I realize that I am making some sweeping generalizations here, but please bear with me, since this is a mere travel journal based upon the not always accurate observations of a first time visitor. This country badly needs social democracy, a government infrastructure that is free enough from corruption so that wealth through taxation and other sources can be redistributed into such social  structures, education and employment opportunities that more Mexicans can be lifted out of poverty.  Don´t count on the market to do this.  The successes of unbridled free market capitalism are always shortterm and limited.  Without a sound social infrastructure in which basic human rights are protected and the poorest and most vulnerable are going to be protected the success of rampant capitalism will result in huge class and economic inequalities that will eventual implode resulting in the worst kind of anarchy and/or revolution.  I am not against free enterprise by the way and I think it has its place as part of a mixed economy with guaranteed social and protections.  It is the current monster of unfettered global capitalism that I am against. Neither am I against cars.  Despite their impact on the environment they are in many cases a necessary evil.  What this brings to mind for me is our need to question our sense of entitlement and to learn new ways of expressing our rights and freedoms, which is to say maintaining our focus on the benefit of the community and the greater good of others in balance with our own self-interest. Che Guevara, whom I find particularly irritating given his penchant for taking out and shooting anyone who disagreed with him and his revolution, did mention in his book ´´La revolucion y el nuevo hombre´´ (Revolution and the new man)  the need for people to change so that their focus is on the common good as opposed to their individual gratification.  Unfortunately he confined this to his narrow interpretation of ´´socialist principals.´´ I really think that we can do better.  That we can derive from a huge number of sources,  mentors and role-models: Voltaire, Rousseau, , Karl  Marx, the Fabian Socialists, St. Francis  of Assissi, Gandhi, Martin Luther King, the Dalai Lama, Mother Teresa, Jean Vanier, to name but a few.  This however cannot be forced upon people.  It needs to be role-modeled through such as are prepared to mentor and parent the succeeding generations without coercion.  Maybe there are already some who are being prepared for this task. Why am I picking on Mexico?  I´m not, really.  I´m actually picking on my own darling Canada, especially given the slide our own country is taking in the area of social and economic inequality.  While I´ve been working on this little rant I have also been simultaneously having a conversation with three other guests here (a couple from Alberta and a guy from Miami).  It began with the American commenting how nice Canadians are so I replied, laughing, ´´Oh fuck off and die!´´Somehow the subject of trickle-down economics came up and I mentioned that trickle down means piss on the poor, which turned into an interesting discussion about poverty and homelessness and the activism I´m involved in and so on.  So the cat is out of the bag. And now I´m going to shut up. (you´re most welcome!) November 14, 2009  The Solitary Traveller I have been surprised by the strange mix of feelings and emotions that have been welling up towards this city, my stay here and my return home tomorrow.  I did two outings today, both along avenida Obregon, because it is such a beautiful walk along the median, despite the traffic and the constant risk of getting killed by a car (apparently there are six or seven traffic deaths in this city every day).  I passed two or three apparently homeless men, reminding me again of Vancouver.  Again I went as far as the art and antiques market on the median in colonia Roma, then walked around Plazas Rio de Janeiro and Obreros.  There is a beautiful church just two blocks from Rio de Janeiro that I stopped in twice today, during both walks.  How can I describe this eccliastical splendour?  It is large, and the dome shows Baroque influence while the silver steeple in front suggests neo Gothic.  The stain glass windows are particularly amazing.  While most of the churches here have small windows positioned high up  on the walls this one has long narrow stainglass windows in art-nouveau design.  Rather than religious themes these are all floral and leaf motifs in four mandala-style circles, one above the other, in colours principally of different shades of green, gold, yellow and blue, with mauve and red.  They are so amazing to look at, especially with the sunlight shining through, and I think that seeing these windows is going to influence in a very positive way my style of painting.  The church is also full of white  chrysanthemums and calla lilies.  The callas are in large gold coloured urns propped like sconces against the walls.  There are four magnificent multi-tiered chandeliers suspended from the ceiling dangling like tiaras for the gods.  On my way back to the bed and breakfast I took a different route.  I stopped in Parque Roma Sur, that park I visited the previous Saturday where I felt a decidedly creepy vibe.  I began to walk on one of the paths, then I saw a couple of youths coming towards me.  I was not interested in taking chances so I retraced my steps, taking a shortcut from the path.  They did seem to be coming after me, so I broke into a semi-run and got  out of the park very quickly.  Now I don´t know if there was any danger, but since this is the only place in Mexico City where I have ever felt at risk I decided to go with my instincts and not test the mercy of God. I nearly got run over a couple of times, and this particularly aggravated me so I was feeling pretty wasted and upset by the time I arrived at the Red Tree House where I went up to my room, drew the curtains shut and rested on my bed for about one and a half hours.  Then, I finished my packing and went to el Pendulo for coffee.  From there I did a second walk through Parque España, then along Obregon, and that was when this huge welter of sadness swelled up in me and I realized that I have come to love this city and many of the people I have met here.  This is rather similar to my experience of San Jose de Costa Rica last year near the end of my visit.  Somehow, the very nature of some of the struggles I have experienced in both places have in a way bonded me to them, just as my closest and dearest friends are those same people with whom I am able to struggle and resolve things.  Perhaps this is why I travel, even though I insist at times that I don´t travel  well.  There is that element of risk and vulnerability, being alone in a strange city in a foreign land, but this is also a proving ground for growth, for  letting go of old baggage and getting a renewed sense of vision for the life that awaits me upon my return home, while slowly learning that home is the reality that we carry with us wherever we go. Tomorrow I rise very early, and I will be leaving for the airport at 4:15 or so to catch a 7:25 flight.  My plane lands in Vancouver YVR at 11:30 am Sunday morning: flight # 980, Mexicana Airlines.  While I don´t expect anyone to meet me at the airport, and I shouldn´t have any difficulty getting home on the Canada Line, here is the information in case anyone would like to surprise me!