The weather today is much like the weather throughout the week. It is having Sunday and Saturday off that makes it a little more significant. Yesterday, although heavy rain was forecast I didn't need to raise my golf umbrella once while walking all of seven miles, not all at once Gentle Reader, since more or less halfway I always stop in the same pleasant café for two hours to sip, draw and nibble, maybe chat a bit with the owner and other regulars. Today again the sky is uniformly grey. It is morning and still rather dark. It is 8:24 and the coffee is being made while I am waiting for my clothes to finish the wash cycle.
Today the sun rose at 8:01, just twenty-five minutes ago (it is now 8:26, there is nothing wrong with my math but it does take a little time to look things up on Google). It sets today at 4:45 pm. The daylight is definitely increasing.
Okay, we'll wait for the cheering to stop....
I have just returned from the laundry room. The clothes are in the dryer. The filter in the dryer was clean and I try to always remember to clean it after use. I used to get really annoyed when the previous user neglected to clean the lint filter, and mutter imprecations about the lazy useless boneheads I have to share the building with. Lately I look on a clean filter with gratitude and I simply try to smile thinking that the previous user was so thoughtful. I find that I still feel a bit annoyed but I no longer curse anyone or their dead ancestors. While waiting for the elevator I noticed that it is raining quite heavily this morning. Doesn't matter. I'm going out for a few hours. Likely I'll do a long walk and spend an hour or two in a café somewhere with my sketchbook. A friend cancelled a visit today (he's a student and very busy) so this leaves me with some breathing time. I will still be Skyping, this morning with a friend who lives in Argentina, this afternoon with a friend in Peru.
Living alone without family I am really trying to maintain my friendships. I have lost perhaps three friends, maybe four over Christmas, given my problems with the Anglican Church (they are all Anglicans) and I am staying away from another friend who tends to upset me so I'm focussing more on recently made friends and a couple of old friends whom I don't see very often but we still see one another nonetheless. It is especially a challenge to not get sideswiped by self-pity and fear. I'm almost sixty, alone and will likely be facing a lonely old age. I think we all do. But this is no excuse for not making an effort with people and to try to stay in contact even if many of them seem to busy or a bit indifferent.
This is also a very crucial stage in life for becoming your own best friend. It is clear that a lot of things that married and partnered people take for granted are often monumental challenges for single people. We have to learn to enjoy solitude. We also have to take complete care of ourselves. It really isn't difficult, just really important to accept that no one is going to do it for you. I think this is why I have become so disciplined. I always get up early or reasonably early and try to guarantee myself at least seven hours sleep every night. It doesn't always come out this way Sometimes I have sleep difficulties. I still get up usually at seven, a bit later on weekends. Every morning I brush my teeth, shave, trim my hair, make my bed, shower, and clean my apartment. Then I make coffee (decaf four times a week), have a decent breakfast, read or write for a little while if there is time while listening to the news then I take off to work, or if I don't work that day, I get outside anyway. Sunday mornings I do my laundry. I used to go to church after but now enjoy the free time and the opportunities of hanging out with people who actually like me (I didn't have such luck in church, Christians being what they are)
It is now a couple of hours later. It is still raining outside, which is all well and good since it is not raining inside, and I have finished the laundry, breakfast and listening to the usual fascinating social commentary that is featured on Sunday mornings on the CBC Radio One. My friend in Argentina is not available today as she is entertaining her family (one of the unjust social inequalities I suffer from in many of my friendships!) and I have done some work on my Green Peafowl painting as well as having read a bit. It is time to go outside.
I was hearing on the radio two distinct role models for aging well this week. One was of a ninety year old man in New Brunswick, voted as Canada's most independent senior. At the age of ninety this man lives alone and efficiently runs his own farm and takes perfectly good care of himself. He is alone and apparently has no friends and doesn't seem to want to have friends. He is content, keeps himself busy, occupied and entertained and is ninety years old. I have not heard any details of his life, of why he doesn't have friends or doesn't want any. It could be very interesting and informative as there are blanks that need to be filled in here.
The other was an interview with Jane Goodall, the famous chimp lady. She would be, I think eighty-two now, very active and very healthy and completely engaged with the human community. She has family, friends and social supports as well as deserved fame and prestige. Unlike the crusty misanthropic novegenarian geezer Dr. Goodall appears to really love and appreciate people, speaks with humour and hope and to me is one of the most inspiring people I have ever heard. She is also a deeply spiritual woman who sees God as real and ever present in all of nature.
When I get old I want to be completely independent like the geezer. When I get old I want to be loving, gentle and inspirational like Jane.
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