Closing The Divide, 12

I have to admit that I don`t do noblesse oblige, but this is for one simple reason: I have nothing to noblesse oblige about. I've never felt particularly aware of my being white, or Caucasian, if you will. I have always been poor. I have always lived on the margins. I only really became aware of racism, after leaving my parents, who, especially my father, were both racists, in my interactions with racial minorities, a word I have trouble with. Always approaching others with the mentality that we are all equals, and all loved by the same Maker, I was disappointed, but not surprised, to find out that my whiteness, for people of other racial identities, was seen as an obstacle to communication. Not because of my issues, but theirs. I have never experienced racism from other white people, except perhaps based on ethnicity (some people still haven't forgotten the war and dislike and distrust Germans). I have experienced racism from others, for example Africans, Chinese and Latinos. In the case of Africans I have always tried to cut them slack, given the historical horrors and traumas from centuries of slavery and bigotry many Africans have been subjected to. Likewise in the case of Chinese, although there is a tendency among Chinese to favour their own to the exclusion of others. In the case of Latinos, I think it has been mostly from lack of exposure to non-Latinos, especially in their own countries. Whatever the reason, my sense of whiteness, such as it is, only exists by default. I find it interesting that in Mexico, Colombia, or Costa Rica, I never have a sense of being racially different, only on those rare occasions when I have been treated with discrimination. In the case of Africans, well, I have been yelled at and insulted by angry black women on the bus, and physically threatened and assaulted by black men on the street, and I wasn't even thinking in terms of race during these unfortunate encounters, and only afterwards did I realize that I was being subjected to racist hate by those same individuals. Which isn't to say that all my encounters with people of colour have been difficult. I was close friends with a black American woman I knew in church. It was only when she found out that I am in favour of same sex marriage that she, homophobic fundamentalist, distanced herself and broke off contact with me. In which case, who then, was really being targeted by bigotry? On one hand I can understand the anger that a lot of people of colour have towards whites. On the other hand, I am quite sick and tired of being treated like a scapegoat for the colour of my skin, and all because of the stupid and hateful behaviour of a minority of Caucasians, though we also have to figure in the larger, collective trauma of slavery and centuries of racial hate. Neither do I think that this lets people of colour who are also racist, off the hook. There is this unfortunate tendency in the ruling classes, which is to say the upper class, academic whites, to want to collectively write off all the acts of rage and violence by people of colour, as it would seem that they are justified for acting out this way. I couldn't disagree more. By giving them this kind of carte blanch we are also treating them as being less than responsible adults. This is patronizing, it is paternalistic. And it is really a rather insidious face of racism. This of course does not justify racial profiling or other race based mistreatment and discrimination that occurs every day against people of colour. It does place an onus of people of colour to rise above this and to follow more in the footsteps of Martin Luther King, than Malcolm X. This is not going to be easy, but you know, Gentle Reader? Life very often isn't easy. We are looking here at huge collective trauma, and survivors of racialized abuse are not necessarily going to accept gracefully generations of mistreatment and abuse. There is going to be acting out. lots of it. On the other hand, there needs to be a huge concerted effort on all sides for us to come together as persons, regardless of colour, in a way to become colour blind. Race largely is a myth, a social construct. I am able to forget my whiteness, and I owe much of my success with people to this. It is harder for targets of racialized mistreatment to forget their blackness and brownness, and perhaps they shouldn't be expected to. But I can also say, as myself, a trauma survivor, that the only way out is through. Instead of running from or villainizing the other, we have to fully re-examine our hearts, attitudes and motives and have the courage to heal and to move forward in a spirit of reconciliation and love. And yes, I do happen to like the song Kumbaya.