City Of God 34

There are people who seem to thrive on conflict. they love conflict. They are miserable unless they are fomenting conflict. Their lives seem to hinge on it. I cannot stand people like that and I tend to avoid them. I have my own vulnerability towards conflict and I have often not been shy about stirring the pot. But I really prefer constructive dialogue. Maybe not singing Kumbaya, but at least agreeing to disagree, civilly of course, and moving on to more constructive dialogue. But the fact of the matter is something a little bit different from this. Conflict is actually useful, and at times even essential for growth and progress. Conflict, of course, is sometimes, even often, inevitable when you have more than one person in the same room. Conflict at its most toxic nadir manifests as war, and thousands or more innocent lives are snuffed out, with tremendous cultural and environmental destruction. World War III, Anybody? I think it was Einstein who stated that World War IV will be fought with rocks and sticks! We do spend an incredible amount of energy avoiding conflict. Some people turn into chronic loners, often with mental health complications, because the stress of other people has become too much for them. Then there are those toxic alphas who have to take over and run over everyone in their way. How about social media? The Twittersphere. Facebook and Instagram? How about online comments? I began reading CBC online after I quit reading the Globe and Mail for a few years and sometimes became stranded in the comments sections following the news stories. I was, like many, appalled by the lack of civility, by the trolls, by the low insults and the bullying. I was on the receiving end of online bullying and it was not a pretty experience. I was upset for days. I won't say that I was traumatized as that is a hugely overused word and simply gives oxygen to our current culture of snowflake fragility. This was destructive conflict. But conflict is a feature of daily life. Just getting through the day, coping with traffic, other pedestrians, cyclists, kids on skateboards, and you are up against a tidal wave of human self-absorbed, narcissistic selfishness. And there is no need to get started about conflict in families, between neighbours, friends, co-workers, on the buses, with politicians, journalists and police, with the idiot old lady counting her change to the last nickel then insisting that the checkout clerk go nd search for the proper price on lettuce, holding up the line for fifteen minutes and you are just wondering if for the first time in your life you are going to publicly pee yourself. Whatever form it takes, through whichever vector, conflict is always going to be part of life and we will be reckoning with it every waking day of our short and sorry lives on the earth. This is where I think of the hugely misunderstood and vilified Muslim concept of Jihad. Here is what Uncle Google has to say about Jihad: a struggle or fight against the enemies of Islam. "he declared a jihad against the infidels" the spiritual struggle within oneself against sin. I will stick to the second definition. The inner struggle and the inner conflict is what will generate the most positive and constructive energy for change. This is not an exclusively Muslim idea. I am a Christian, and as such, I am daily challenged to not externalize my struggle and to accept the challenges and obstacles that others put before me as opportunities for growth and personal development. My success at this is quite spotty and uneven, but I am determined to keep trying. When I think of the many things that annoy, scandalize and infuriate me throughout the day, I am also presented with challenges to grow and change. Especially to grow in love. When subjected to secondhand cigarette smoke on the sidewalk, for example, I still try to avoid inhaling the smoke, and this is legitimate self-protection. But instead of vilifying the smoker, I try to see them in the light of compassion: they are slaves to an addiction, and they have a multitude of issues that make them self-medicate with nicotine, and they are also for the most part decent and lovely people, but like me, perhaps not in the same ways, weak and broken. As for the other many human inconveniences, I have concluded that very few people intentionally try to do harm through their inconsiderate or selfish acts. They are under stress, they are distracted, they are busy coping, and often they don't even know better. There are a few intentional douchebags out there, but I still believe them to be a minority. Inner jihad as a tool for self-improvement and coping, I think is the best route to take, and this will open the gateway to the City of God.