The Peacock 357

 She doesn't seem to notice my approach, not at first anyway.  Then she looks up, and for a second a shadow flickers over her face, as though she is a bit cross that her privacy has been violated, perhaps more than a bit , then quickly shoves it under a cheery and welcoming smile.  

"Well, hello, Christopher.  Do sit down, please." She gestures to the other bench. "Isn't this a lovely little grotto?

"If you can call it that."

"Well, perhaps not exactly a grotto, but I am sure that you know what I mean.  And that magnolia is simply enchanting.  Here it isn't yet the middle of May and already it is beginning to bloom.  For a southern magnolia, very early, and most unusual, I would say."

"What book are you reading?"

"Wuthering Heights.  I just adore the Bronte sisters.  And how about you?  How ARE you getting along?"

I understand what she is getting at.  "I am feeling a lot better now.  Thanks for asking."

"Think nothing of it dear.  We were, I was, so frightfully worried about you the other night, but you really seem to have come around.  You said you had amnesia when you came here?  How very frightening that must have been for you."

"My father's death must have left an impact.  And other matters as well.  How are you doing?"

"I'm muddling through as usual."  She puts the book face down beside her and rubs her eyes with the knuckles of her right hand.  She still hasn't put the rings back on.

The Peacock 356

 This is all too much for me and now I have to get away.  Yes, to the gardens for a solitary walk, but even farther beyond.  I have my car back and I just might succumb to temptation and leave this place.  I have never in my life had three days so completely immersed in the lives of other people.   Now I seem to have moved from the land of the dead to the living.  I have no idea when I'm returning to work.  I am returning, I am sure of that.  I have long known that my vocation is with the dying. This is going to be a very hard place to leave.  Carl and I have bonded, brothers, more than brothers. And the others also beguile me.  Aaron says he is an author and that he is writing us.  Somehow that doesn't strike me as altogether implausible, and I seem to be looking into his world as much as he is looking into mine.  How else could I explain being able to see his apartment in my mind, with those beautiful coloured cushions and the teal and golden Indian bedspread? I am living in a dreamscape, and perhaps I am waiting to wake up.  My sense of reality has always been, at best, fragile, and I do fear another episode.  At least I have my memory back.  

I even could end up living here.  Carl seems to expect it.  And I could do a lot worse.  I might even sublet my place to Erik when he comes and just stay here.  But I also want to spend time with Erik.  It's been ten years.  Sarah seems interesting.  I want to ask her more about her travels, especially her time in Australia  And to get to know the other two women she came here with.  And George and Jeff, a couple.  Why should I find that surprising?

I do want to return to the diner.  Maybe even tonight for coffee house, but I think we have already things here that need to be attended to.  And I want to hang out with Carl again tonight, read some more of Kenny's diary.

It is nice having time alone here, and too late, because there, on one of the benches by the magnolia is Carol reading a book....

The Peacock 355

 Guilty as charged", says Carl smiling.

"We cut him off on his fifth glass of ale", says Aaron.  Then we waited around for an hour and something for him to sobre up a bit.  That's why we're so late getting back."

"Just as well", says Melissa.  "That was one of their sticking points about forming with us a united household.  They think our ways to be a little bit too fancy free for their digestion."

"Prissy little prigs", says Carl.  "But evidently, they are not entirely unanimous."

"George and Jeff say they've both had their bellyful.  And this is another reason the others have shown resistance, "says Melissa.  "They want to live with us as a couple.  Apparently, a few months ago they snuck off to Mission where they were married by the justice of the peace.  They are also hoping that we as a community will bless their union."

"I don't see why not", says Carl.  "Easier to do that than to wait for the others to get over their homophobia."

Melissa picks up one of the two family photos.  "So, anyway, when should we go out to the cabin?"

"Tomorrow sometime?" says Carl.

"Should we come with you?" says Aaron.

""I would like that very much", says Carl.  "Mel?"

"I don't see why not.  After breakfast?"

"Sounds like a plan", says Carl.

The Peacock 354

 "For example", continues Aaron, "A few years ago a I had a dream about a doctor in Mexico.  I knew nothing about her, at the time, but I was in this dream visiting a clinic in the desert in rural Mexico.  I think in the Sonora dessert.  She was wearing a white lab coat, looked exhausted.  An older woman, around my age, I'd say.  And we were conversing in Spanish.  It was suggested I should return at around three thirty in the afternoon  Then it was just around eleven-thirty.  She told me her name.  It was Juanita Jiménez.  So, the next day, I looked her up on the internet.  In less than five minutes, there she was on YouTube, giving an address about care delivery in the city of Aguascalientes in Mexico.  Same woman, same face, same voice, same accent of Spanish."

"She also happens to be my aunt", says I.  "My mother's sister.  That is truly amazing."

"Are you in touch with her?" asks Aaron.

"We haven't communicated in a few years.  But, now I think I should reopen the channels with her."

"That is truly amazing", says Carl.

"But not at all surprising" says Melissa.   "By the way, Carl, what's this I heard about you getting drunk today?  I can still smell it on you."

The Peacock 353

 "As I explained to you back in the diner, I have a rather curious relationship straddling both our worlds."

"Huh?" says Melissa.

"Aaron says he is writing a book about us."

"You don't say."

"It's a little more complicated than that, Melissa", says Aaron.  "I am actually writing all of you, right now, while seated in front of my laptop in my apartment."

"We're all a product of your imagination.  Uh-huh, yes, I see."

"Well, then don't believe me."

"Look, Aaron, after nine years of living here, off and on, you might say that right now there is a flock of bright green pigs flying towards the moon, and I would still believe you.  This place is cursed.  Or enchanted, or pick a word, but, no, this is not at all a surprise to me.  Nothing surprises me any more.  Nothing."  She pulls off her eyeglasses, as though she wants to see better, or perhaps, not liking what she is seeing, to somehow blur her vision.

I am sure now that I either dreamed of your father, and that encounter wiht him at my dad's, or somehow just thought it up without really thinking.  I do have dreams like that sometimes..."

The Peacock 352

 "We have to go to the cabin", Carl says.

"Who do you think that was?" I ask.

"I think that was all we saw of him. Mel?"

"I don't remember anything else."

"Dad used to disappear for up to four or five days at a time."

"Do you think he was staying in the cabin?"

"I don't know", says Carl.

"You know", says Melissa, "He really was acting strange the last few years."

"Was he still drinking?" asks Aaron.

"That's right, you knew our dad".,

"I thought I knew him."

"What do you mean?" says Melissa.

"I think I might have seen him in a dream, and then just assumed that was him."

"But surely you recognize him in the photo"; says Carl.  "Aaron, is there a story there?"

The Peacock 351

 "You never told me anything", Melissa says to Carl.

"I wasn't sure what to say.  And I didn't want to worry you.  And then, after he did the deed, you and I were so caught up in our immediate survival that I must have pushed it to the back of my mind."

"Wait a minute", she says.  "I have also seen this guy.  I'm sure of it.  It must have been earlier that day.  I was out way in the back, looking for birds, and there was a raven I was trying to follow through the trees.  I was really fascinated by ravens, and sometimes heard them talking among themselves, like humans, with their own kind of language.  Seriously, it does happen."

"I believe you" Aaron says.  "I also heard a family group of ravens once having a conversation in a tree in Cathedral Grove on Vancouver Island.  It was quite incredible."

"Where were you, exactly?" says Carl.

"I was at the edge of the property, near the entrance to that path that Dad ordered us to stay away from.I stopped just short of the entrance to the trail, when I saw this man approach me from the trail.  He looked like he was heading towards the house.  I at first tried to hide, but he already saw me.  And in those days, when the Asperger's was still pretty bad, I was simply too painfully shy to want to start a conversation, especially with some strange man appearing out of nowhere.  But he was a short, slim man, about dad's age or a bit older.  He simply just stared, or glared right at me, like his eyes were boring into me.  He held me in his gaze and said "Hello.".  I said nothing, but yes, he did have an accent.  I am going to see your father he said.  Is he at the house?  I said nothing, but then noticed a little deer trail so I ran away on it."

The Peacock 350

 "I remember someone coming over to talk to him the night before he died", says Carl.

"Where was I?" says Melissa querulously.

"You would have been in your room."

"Oh, that's right.  I was sleeping way off in the other wing of the house."

"You really seemed to enjoy your space back in the day", says Carl, in such a tone that only a  brother would use with his little sister.

"Don´t start.  Anyway, what happened?"

"This guy came over.  A bit older than dad.  I was seated in the breakfast room eating ice cream. before he came in the house, Dad sent me up to my room.  But I had a distinct impression of him.  He seemed very taut, and intense.  And I did not like the look on his face, the little I could see of him from the window.  So, I obeyed, sort of.  I paused for a while on the stairs, and they were seated in the small reception room.  I couldn't exactly hear his voice, but he seemed to have a bit of an accent, but too faint to identify. But dad must have caught a glimpse of me, because he came out and firmly ordered me up to my room, in that voice and tone of his that you know you dare not defy.  Kind of like you, Mel."

"The apple doesn't rot far from the tree", she says flatly.

"I do remember one thing that dad said to this guy.  ?Haven't I strictly ordered you to stay away from this house while my children are visiting!'  But then he lowered his voice again and I picked up nothing else."

The Peacock 349

 "What I need to know", says Melissa, "is how did they get there?  Nothing squares here.  None of this makes sense.  She has picked up again one of the family photos, then passes it to her brother.

"Your father must have known about the cabin", says Aaron.

"He never said anything about it", says Melissa.

"He used to disappear sometimes", Carl interjects.  "Maybe that was his personal hideout.  A man cave, maybe."

"When did you see him last?" I ask.

"I already told you", Carl replies a  bit sharply.  "When he shot himself."

"If, for sure, he shot himself", says Melissa.

"Who could have done it?" says Carl.  

"And how did his body get carried away?  Someone must have done it."

"His remains were never found?" I ask.

"Never", says Carl.

"Did your father have enemies?" asks Aaron.

"With his difficult temperament and tendency of turning on and betraying others", says Melissa", I wouldn't be at all surprised."

"Was there anyone", I ask.

"Wait a minute", says Carl.  "I seem to remember someone..."

The Peacock 348

 All the others have left the room save for Carl, Melissa, Aaron and me. We sit around the coffee table,  Our four cups refilled with coffee and the watch and family photos and envelope all provide a curious decor, and I wonder what kind of still life painting this could make.  Melissa is holding and studying one of the photos now.  And Carl has just picked up the watch, which he examines as though looking for structural flaws. 

"You found these in the cabin?" he says. 

"On top of a table, with a kerosene lantern", says Aaron. 

"I've never been in there", he says.  "Neither of us have been there."

"So then these are..." I say.

"They are", says Melissa.

"How old were you", say I.

"I would have been six.  "Carl would have just turned twelve."

"It was our last time together," says Carl.  "As a family.  Dad left us in the summer.  And soon they divorced.  Mom gave dad the watch for Christmas the year before."

The Peacock 347

 "We stopped at the cabin", say I.

He looks at us dumbfounded, then feebly croaks, "After I expressly told you not to return there?"

"What happened?" Aaron asks.

"Melissa replies, "We were just beginning to make headway here with negotiations, then, in the last twenty minutes, everything started to go sideways."

"When you both went to the cabin", Carl sputters.

Carol says, "I don't think it's going to be that bad.  We suddenly all began to quarrel about how we were to constitute ourselves as a unified household, and the others decided to just leave it for now and continue doing their own thing.  Jeff and George alone have defected to us.  Like François, and the ladies.   It would appear that here, in this magnificent house, the Berlin Wall has just been rebuilt."

Aaron says, "Carl, Melissa, I will not lie to you.  Christopher and I both went into the cabin, under the Lord's protection.  I am so sorry that it resulted in this huge spiritual siege.  But I think you both might be  interested in what we found there.  He approaches Carl and hands him both the watch and the envelope with the photos.

"Carl receives the watch and the envelope in his hand, takes one look at them and whispers, "Oh my God!"

The Peacock 346

 They are all seated together in the reception room. The others have arrived ahead of us, ad I see Melissa, Carol, the two other women, and the members of the community.  I think they are all present.  The air carries a rather heavy weight, and I am certain that no one is going to be very pleased with the outcome of the discussion.

"Are we terribly late?" says Aaron.

"No need to worry", says Melissa.  "we are just finishing up."

"Have we missed anything?"

No one answers.  There are no empty seats, so we , Aaron and I , just stand there, looking in on the others.  Then some of them, all members of the community, slowly get up and quietly file out of the room, leaving the rest of us, along with Sarah, Maureen, Jenn, François, George, and Jeff.  No one else, apart from us the guests. Carl sits in an armchair in the centre of the room, his face buried in his hands.  Melissa appears pensive and expressionless, her usual self.  The others all sit around him, as though to offer a ring of protection.  Carol is seated off to the side, the cat next to her.  She is stroking him gently. 

Carl slowly removes his hands from his face.  He appears stricken, pale, as though trying to contain some deftly concealed horror.

"Could someone please tell me what just  happened?" says Aaron.

Carl mumbles something, then pauses, then tries again to speak. Then he turns to Aaron and I, and says, "Where were you two just now?"

The 344

 We are almost at the house.  "What kind of day are your having right now, where...where you live?"

"It's been a little bit ghastly. I have discovered that I have bedbugs.  Don't worry, I don't think I can transfer other living things here.  Just my own blessed self."

"I had them two years ago.  It took me weeks to get rid of them.  I am sure they came from a secondhand desk that I bought shortly before."

"Mine came from some second hand shirts that I bought.  Or at least I think they did.  My fault, for not sealing them in plastic bags and laundering them right away, I guess.  But with all the fuss with the pandemic, it is easy to get distracted from other urgencies, I guess.  But I caught it early.  Just saw one bug, dead already, I think, tucked far away inside a sky blue pillow case.

"That is one of your smaller pillows", say I ", Isn't it?"

"I suppose.  If you say so."

"And you have one other small pillow, magenta or fuchsia colour.  And three big ones.   One is a really nice spring green colour, the other two are different shades of orange.  They look really nice on top of the Indian bedspread which is sort of a teal with designs and patterns of different shades of blue and gold."

"It's as if you are visiting me in my apartment.  By the way, someone came to my door in order to assure me that someone will be coming in tomorrow to take care of the bugs.  Not bad given that it's a holiday."

"What date is it right now, where you live?"

"August first. BC Day tomorrow which will be Monday.  And now we are home again."

The Peacock 343

 "What was this you were saying about wanting to trust everyone?"

"It isn't that naïve, it's more of a kind of essential innocence", says Aaron.

"Essential innocence."

"It's something that I learned during street ministry."

"What do you mean?" I actually have just said this to fill in the pause.  He appears to be thinking out loud.  It is nice to be back behind my own steering wheel.

"I was lied to so often, by so many.  And they weren't just the hookers on the street corner or the queens and twinks in the gay bars, but also people in the church.  Clergy especially.  I really think that Anglican priests, for lies and broken promises, even surpass politicians."

I pass on answering this, but thinking of my father, and all the subtle lies and deceptions, little white lies, but oh how they accumulated.   Yes, Aaron might have a point, but this wound for me is still a little bit raw.

"What it's come to", he says, "Is that I never know anymore if someone is telling me the truth.  but I still try to accept it as what they want me to hear, and that maybe they are trying as hard as they can to be truthful.  Just as I try as hard as I can to speak truth.  But there is something so essentially dishonest about our human nature, that any attempt that we make to be truthful can only be regarded as a shot in the dark.  but I still want to hold on to what is the most essential part of each person.  And it isn't falsehood.  It is truth.  It is not darkness.  It is light.  It's only otherwise for those who truly choose to become evil..."

The Peacock 342

 We are heading back to the car.  "You told us yesterday about your time in Europe."

Aaron replies ", Yeah, I went to Vondel Park the next day after I was robbed on my first night at knife point.  Then there were these two guys following me all over Amsterdam.  of course, my visit to Vondel simply provided that missing surrealist twist, so that the next morning I was on an early train to Brussels."

"I don't imagine you ever want to go back there."

"On the contrary.  For one thing, the city has really been cleaned up a lot, and for another, if I decide to go back, I'm going to take care to not be stupid when I arrive there.  That was my first international trip, and even though I was thirty-five, and certainly no longer a kid, I was also, back in the day, very naïve, despite the street smarts that I had in Vancouver.  Plus, and this must be a Christian thing, I have always been towards others simply a little bit too trusting."

"So, aren't you afraid of going back there, I mean with the traumatic events that happened?"

"The only times I have ever regretted anything have been those same times when I have caved to fear.  That isn't to say that I will be stupid instead, just a little better informed."

"So, you are going back?"

"I have no idea, but if I ever feel that that is a direction I should take, then I will just do it."

"Hang the  consequences."

"If there are any consequences, just think of the tale I will have to tell you when I get back..."

The Peacock 341

 They are both family portraits, the same family, mother and father and a boy and a girl, grouped together in a garden somewhere.  The boy seems around twelve, the girl younger, perhaps seven or eight.  The father appears to be a tall lean man in his forties, a smile forced against his stern and disapproving face.  The mother is short, and slim with dark brown hair, very pretty with a clever, nimble expression and a smile that must be genuine.  The boy is grinning clownishly.  He has short blond hair.  This could only be Carl, and the reticent, solemn little elf next to him with long brown hair could only be his sister Melissa.

We both just stand there at the table, staring stupidly at the photograph, both of us studying this family that has been suddenly thrust into our view.  Aaron turns over first one photo then the other.  Both have the same inscription written in a clear, fluid and rather loopy cursive, in dark blue ink.

Vondel Park, 1994

"where would that be?" I ask.

"Amsterdam.  I was there three years earlier, visiting the same park.  The place was notorious.

"For what"

"Why, for the same kinds of things that any big park in a big sophisticated city would be famous for.  Loose sex, drugs and occasional gratuitous nudity."

"Sounds like quite the scene."

"To say the least.  What are we going to do with our little find?"

"Hand them over to Carl and Melissa", say I.

"And that is exactly what we are going to do..."

The Peacock 340

 There is a barb wire fence in the way, but  climbing through it unscathed seems easy enough. The grass is long, and fresh green from the spring rain.  It does appear to be a cabin, in the middle of this field.  There are windows on all sides, and a sheltered porch where the door is.  Aaron knocks' on the door.  There is no answer, and he gently pushes it open.  There is a strange, but not pungent musty odour.  And our eyes need time to adjust to the dim light..  There is a table in the middle of the small room, with a wooden chair, and a bed against the wall, that seems freshly made.  We exchange glances and Aaron says, "It would appear that this place is actually lived in, at least from time to time."  There is nothing adorning the bare wooden walls.  On the table, a kerosene lamp.

"I wonder who must be staying here", I say.   "This is very curious."

Now that I am better adjusted to the dark, I notice something on the table, next to the lamp, and a rectangle of  yellow brown paper underneath.  They are a wristwatch with a metal band, and underneath, an envelope.  Aaron picks up the watch and carefully examines it.  "This is interesting", he murmurs.  He turns it over and looks carefully at the back of the clock face.  He carries it to a window, for a better look with better light.  "This is really interesting", he says.

"What is it?"

"Come over and have a look at this."  A name is engraved in the metal.  Jan Vancoevorden.

"That is Carl and Melissa's family name", say I.

"It could be their father", says Aaron, who returns to the table and picks up the envelope.  Carefully he opens out, and out on the table drop two photographs....

The Peaock 339

 "Why did you stop the car?  We're due back at the house.  In fact, we're running late."

"Aaron, I'm sorry, I have to go look in that cabin."

"After what happened?"

"I feel drawn there.  In fact, I feel called there.  I don't know why.  But it feels like something important.  Look, you can wait in the car if you want.  You don't have to go in with me."

Aaron pauses, quiet, as though thinking, or praying hard.

"No, I think I'm supposed to be accompanying you.  Is that okay?"

""Yes, please, I'd like very much for you to come with me."

"First, we'll pray.  "Father God, we call on you, the Holy Trinity, and your Angels to guide and protect us.  May we enter this place covered with the blood of Jesus, full of the Holy Spirit, and protected by the full armour of God.  May Satan flee at our advance.  In the mighty name of Jesus Christ our Risen Saviour and Lord.  Amen

"Amen", I echo, feeling suddenly invigorated and full of joy.  "Let's go..."

The Peacock 338

 "And where do you fit in all this, Aaron?  How can you cope, living between two different worlds."

"It wouldn't be easy, but for the fact that I truly live in the one, and simply, through my imagination, visit the rest of you in this one.  Right now, I am really at home in my apartment, in front of my laptop, not having a clue what I am going to write next."

"What would be the chances of me writing you?"

"Maybe you are.  Maybe we're writing each other.  Or rather, we are all being written, and simply we are transcribing what is already there.  We are simply documenting."

On my left, I notice a small break in the trees, and something strangely familiar.  I slow the car for a closer look." 

"What is it?" asks Aaron.

"That clearing, with the shack in the middle.  I was there today, this morning." I stop the car at the side of the road.

"It looks like a cabin.  Did you go inside?"

"Almost.  But the whole area felt really creepy, and I really felt unwell from going there.  When I returned to the house, on the verandah, Carl performed a rite of exorcism on me, and I felt better."

"He performs exorcisms, you say", muses Aaron.  "Well, that will explain a thing or two."

"Such as..."

"Why he just got drunk."

"You mean..."

"He was probably still in an exalted state, I could actually see it all over him, and the alcohol was to ground him somehow."

"Yes, that does make sense..."

The peacock 337

" Oh yes, and early the next morning one of the brothers saw you naked, and in fact, followed you to your bedroom when you were leaving the bathroom.  Nothing untoward happened between you.  That would be George, the Filipino guy."

I am quiet and flabbergasted, and really have to struggle at finding an answer with which to dignify all this now coming from Aaron.

"How did you find out all this?"

"It just gets revealed to me.  I sit in front of my laptop, and hey presto, out it comes."

"That is truly amazing.  And truly creepy."

"Well, now you can say you have a friend who knows you very very well.  Oh, and should I tell you about your ex wife, Greta and your young brother-in-law, Erik."

"That is truly enough for me, and yeah, I believe you.  What about Father Griffin?"

"What about him?"

"Have you really known him, on the other side, I mean."

"In rather a different form.  His other name was Donald Dodman, and he never did find redemption, unlike Robert.  He just got worse and worse, left the priesthood, left the church, got married to some poor loser young enough to be his grandson, then croaked.  Altogether, a miserable piece of work, who hurt an awful lot of people.  A complete narcissist and a likely sociopath."

The Peacock 336

 "This could all be one big dream right now that we are both in", say I.

"Not going to argue."

"what are you doing right now?  I mean, where you live?

"Well, I am back at my laptop, writing us, and eating fresh strawberries."

"I love strawberries.  Especially with whipped cream."

"Not I", says Aaron.  The sugar in the whipped cream makes the berries taste sour.  I just like them on the hoof."

"How did you conceive the idea for this writing project?"

"It just came to me one night.  And I was wanting to write something new for my friend , Alonso.  He lives in Colombia and we do language exchange.   We read together my first novel which is all published on my blog, as part of his English practice, and he seemed to enjoy it so much that I thought I would try something new for both of us.  So, anyway, I had this sense of this humongous rambling mansion in the mountains by the Fraser Valley, and you had arrived there the night before on retreat, so the whole thing is written from your perspective, first person, so to speak."

"My perspective?  But how can you possibly get inside my head like that?"

"Well, first, let's test it out and see if I have been successful.  For example, on your first morning, before breakfast, you wandered out in the back by the southern magnolia tree, and there you saw a peacock perched on one of the branches."

"Go on."

"After you had that meltdown during dinner, Carl went to visit you in your room, where you told him about your many adventures with Father Griffin, for example, when you baited him into trying to buy your, er, services, as a way of blackmailing him, and how you returned home to your dad with the hundred bucks you scammed off him, I think you were seventeen, and how you gave your dad the money, then he phoned Father Griffin who, already busted, came by to retrieve his cash.  Then you were talking about your friend Kenney, who used to work as a transvestite hooker, and had also been studying environmental sciences in university..."

The Peacock 334

 "I suppose you are all familiar with the Collective Unconscious", Aaron says.

"Basic Jung", says Carl.

"Well, it seems to be more complex than being a mere repository of all the millennia of human experience and knowledge.  There would appear to be an incredibly complex network or web of which the electronic worldwide web is but a pale and amateurish imitation."

"And that's where you get your ideas?" Sarah asks.  "and that is where we all really live, and then you just dip in from time to time and write something down about us?"

"Except for one minor little detail."

"Which is?" say I.

"Quite simply that whatever dimension that I happen to be living in, well, there just might be someone from your side of the fence writing about me or someone else, or maybe in an entirely different dimension, but we are all so similar as to be almost completely identical."

"How much acid did you take when you were a kid", asks Carl.

"Enough."

"You can say that again" retorts Carl, "And by the way, I think I'll be safe behind the steering wheel now,."

"Time to go?" says-asks Sarah.

"If nobody else minds" say I, "I'm going to go get my car out of parking and drive back alone."

"Afraid you won't otherwise get back alive?" says Carl.

"No", say I, "but now that both Robert and Douglas have been despatched of, I think I should be allowed to drive in my own car again."

"Mind if I come with you?"  Aaron says.

"Of course., come."

The Peacock 335

 We are just leaving the town.  It is nice being behind the steering wheel again.  The town quickly gives way to forest and the green is so intense I can barely look at it.

"So you are writing us".

Aaron replies, "Think of me as a resident historian."

"You're not making this up?"

"It's already there.  I just simply think of you guys and it all sort of unfolds."

"So, what is going to happen when we get back to the mansion."

"We're going to know that once we arrive."

"You don't premeditate anything?"

"How can I premeditate what I don't have any control over?" says Aaron.

"Do you dream a lot?"

"Vividly.  You?"

"It's like living in two different realms, for  me."

"Me too."

"Aaron, tell me something, please?"

"Sure."

"Could we be dreaming about each other?"  Right now, I mean?""

"Who knows?"

The Peacock 333

 "I took them out a long time ago."

"but we didn't see you do it". says Carl

"Because they are in my apartment.  You might also notice that suddenly I am wearing a different shirt."

"How did that happen, " says Carl.

"Well, I don't want to smell bad, so of course I am going to change my clothes from time to time.  In my apartment of course.  By the way, Carl, have you and Melissa happened to notice that I never seem to sleep in my bedroom in the mansion?"

"Because you spend all your nights in your apartment.  Across the divide", says Carl.  "And we are supposed to believe that you are not bullshitting."

"But how else are you going to explain the magical appearing and disappearing earplugs, or the shirt that suddenly changes itself."

"So, how are we supposed to explain it?" says Sarah.

"You could start by trying to explain what is exactly meant by the creative imagination", says Aaron.

"Why, it's how we make things up?" asks Sarah.

"But where does it all come from."

"Out of our heads?"

"Like the goddess Athena suddenly sprang out of the head of her father Zeus."

"I see you know your Greek mythology", says Aaron.

"And I understand she gave him one whopping headache..."

The Peacock 332

 "Is there also an isle of Woman", says Carl sardonically.

"How about isle of Persons", says Sarah indifferently.

"In Mexico there is an Isla Mujeres, or Island of Women", says Jesús.

"I was there once", says Sarah.  "Tourist Trap."

"So what are you doing right now, Aaron?" asks Carl.

"I'm sucking on some semi sweet chocolate chips with a glass of milk."

"What day is it now?" I ask.

"Friday.  Another day has past."

"So fifteen minutes here is twenty-four hours where you live?"

"and sometimes vice-versa."  Aaron looks carefully at all of us, then adds, "You know, you don't have to believe me...Not if you don't want to."

"Dude", says Carl, "You don't have to worry about  a blessed thing.  You know some of the weird shit that already goes on where we live.  I'm giving you the full benefit of the doubt.  hey, what happened to your earplugs..."

The Peacock 331

 "Okay, but give me a minute to organize my thoughts.  My neighbour in the apartment upstairs has been skipping around the last three hours like a happy elephant high on meth, and maybe she is, but this is maddening."

"Does it happen often?" asks Sarah.

"She goes through periods.  Lately she's been more of a pain than usual, but then she settles down for a few days.  I think it's drugs or mental illness or both in her case.," says Aaron.

"How long have you been wearing those earplugs?" says Carl.

"I just put them in."

"But you can still hear us okay", say I.

"That's because they are only effective on my side of the divide between us, but some things are going to overlap."

"You still want us to believe that you are at home in your apartment and you are writing us", says Carl.

"Well, because I am."

"Wait a minute",he says.  "Where you are, right now, what date is it?"

"Thursday, 15 July, 2021."

"Here it is Wednesday, May 5, 2021.  "When did you start writing us?"

"December 16 2020.  I told you that time is different between our two dimensions."

"But everything is also so similar.  How can this be", asks Jesús.

"Quantum mechanics", says Sarah.  "Has another day since passed for you?"

"Yes, and I just had some cheese.  Strong cheddar from Isle of Man."

The Peacock 330

 "Are you blushing, Carl?" says Aaron. "oh, you are!  Look at his face turn cherry red!" and now we are all laughing again and so is Carl, but indeed now very red in the face.

"Nothing really happened, actually.  He asked Stella some questions, but seemed rather too focused on the fact that she still had her dick.  Then he wanted to know about what I did with my various tricks, but didn't seem to believe me when I said I was retired.   Then he asked me, with Stella's permission, if we could go up in one of her spare bedrooms for him to try me out.  I refused, and actually, I got so grossed out, that I got up and left."

"You turned down sex with Dan Savage?" says Tommy.

"And the following week he wrote a very nasty column about me.  Vindictive old queen."

"And one more time a whole sentence just jumped and inserted itself in the previous paragraph.  This laptop is so frustrating!" says Aaron.

"I could have a look at it when we get home", Carl says.

"No, that one is in my apartment, where I am still struggling over it at this very moment, while simultaneously finishing my cup of coffee with you guys out here in the Toolies.  The spellcheck is also pretty lame."

"Shall we head back soon?" says Sarah..

"Wait a minute", Carl says.  Weren't you going to tell us something about how your ministry got started, and then the conversation went totally sideways.?"

"

The Peacock 329

 "This is really nuts," says Jesús.

"Are you serious?" says Sarah.  "You really believe that you are writing us?"

"I am writing all of you.  Right here on my pesky little laptop that makes the letters jump all over the page."

Carl says, "So you can write whatever you like about us.  We are your own special creation.  Like you are God."

"Oh, hardly.  I'm just a scribe.  You guys all do and say what you want.  I'm just the fly on the wall, recording for posterity."

"And nothing else?" I say.  "how can you possibly be in two places at once, where within twenty minutes or so another full day has already passed where you live?  Quantum mechanics?"

"Or it could be magic, for all I know, or care, and right now I am about to get another tiny piece of the Scottish cheese.  I think that if they sprinkled a lot of  this on top of a haggis and broiled it at a high temperature, the haggis might be palatable.

"Haggis melt", says Tommy.  "I love it.  maybe with bean sprouts and extra soy sauce."

Everyone is laughing.

"Have you cut the cheese yet?" Sarah says.

"Wait a sec'.... yes, it´s in my mouth now.  but, Carl was going to tell us all about his meeting with Dan Savage..."

The Peacock 328

 "There isn't much to tell", says Carl. "It was actually just the day before my mom tracked me down at Stella's in Amsterdam.  I came over to put in some time watching the place while her regulars came and went and there was this guy, an American visiting at the kitchen table.  It turns out it was Dan Savage and, yes, he was doing research, and was wanting to interview both of us for one of his columns."

"And then what happened?" says Aaron, with a wicked grin.

"Are you still eating your cheese from the Isle of Man"" Carl asks.

"Tonight it is a very old, orange Scottish cheddar."

"Isn't that a lot of cheese you're eating?" says Sarah.

"You mean, for a man my age", says Aaron.  "The isle of Man extra old cheddar was last night.  Tonight it is some of the finest cheddar from Scotland.  And at least they got their cheese right.  Almost all the rest of the food from that country is not fit for human consumption."

"What is the national food of Scotland?" asks Jesús.

"Haggis", say I.  "One of the most revolving substances to ever enter the human mouth.  

"Hey", says Tommy, giggling, "I'm Chinese, we have a reputation for eating almost anything that grows, walks, crawls, swims, squirms or flies, and even that I wouldn't even touch with my worst chopsticks."

"So, what other cheese are you going to eat tonight?" says Carl.

"I'm about done", says Aaron.

"Two different cheeses in the same night?"says-asks Sarah.

"Last night I had the cheese from the Isle of Man."

"But you just said..."say I.

"Oh", says Aaron.  "I ought to tell you that time works very differently between our dimensions.  An entire day has past since we started talking about this ten minutes ago.  I am back again at my computer..."

"

"