1714

"Here is my first British passport. I was just twenty.one. "How do you like the hair-do, all the girls wore it bobbed and crimped and permed. We all wanted to be Jean Harlowe. And here is my Danish passport, just after the war. How do you like that darling hair-do, all long and severe and neatly curled at the shoulder. And here is another Danish passport, hair shorter and curled and oh so sweety-pie like Marilyn Monroe. And Austrian in the early sixties. How do you like that beehive. And this was when I was living in Spain and my hair was long and poker straight much as it is now. That was the seventies. And here is my first Dutch passport, from 1983. That was thirty-eight years ago, and looking at me this minute you would think the photo was taken this morning. Any questions, dear..." "This is all just unbelievable." "Of course it's unbelievable. And I am going to be showing these to Christopehr's case worker and his psychiatrist, who happens to be someone that I know, have known for many many years, and he doesn't even know that I'm coming to see him today." She returns the passports into her handbag, packing them in closely like a deck of palying crds, then says to Nicole, "So, about my proposal." "About abducting johns and ferrying them off to rendition camps, you mean. Personally, I do like the idea. But Chuck and Cynthia are both opposed and legally it would be completely unworkable. Until you have shown us some transparency, then I'm afraid there is nothing we can do." "What kind of transparency would you like?" "Countries that are involved, agencies, funding, locations of the centres, their treatment, their...willingness. We have a very thorough and very strict international huamn rights code and there is really nothing that can be done without those men's prior consent." "Men who exploit women and other men in this way have forfeited their right to consent." "International law sees things quite differently. And who is funding this by the way?" "I am unable to reveal our sources." "In which case", says Nicole, taking a swig from her mug, "The matter is closed. But I do agree with you, that we cannot properly address sex work without also addressing their noxious clientele, namely the johns." "You mean prostitution", says Carl, with a grin. "Oh, that too, I would imagine. You know, yesterday, this really irritating young guy comes in wearing a T shirt that says, "Sex Work is Work." So, while he was paying for his cookies I say to him, "Yep, it's fucking hard work. It turns us into prostitutes." "what did he say", says Erik. "Not one blessed word, except, "oh." And then he walked out of here real fast..."

1713

"What is your diagnosis, if you don't mind my asking", say I to Nicole. "Bipolar, but it isn't severe, and I have been using meditation techinques for stabilizing my mood." "Plus a little herbal remedy", quips Carl. "I never touch the stuff." "What!" says Carl. "Seriously. I don't want to make it worse." Now to me she says, "Okay. I showed you mine. Now show me yours." "Schizotypal disorder with temporary psychosis." "Oh dear." "Which means", says Stella, "He believes that I am over one hundred years old and other interesting little delusions." "Except, Stella., you do happen to be one hundred and eight years old", says Carl. "Must you confuse the poor girl with facts." "The fact of the matter", says Carl, "Is that they aren't delusions. Chris let it slip on the phone today to his worker about his rather interesting friends, and now they believe he is a serious case, and that is why we are coming with him, as back up." "And you expect anybody to believe any of this", says Nicole. And now Stella has just pulled from her handbag a whole handful of her passports which she lays out on the table.

1712

"The offer is very tempting", says Carl, "But we all have to be in good form for our next appointment." "Which is" Carl looks at me, silently pleading for my help. "Don't worry, I can tell her", say I. "I have an appointment with my mental health case manager and psychiatrist. Carl and the others are coming with me for support." "I would imagine it's been a while", says Nicole. "More than a year." "And you quit taking your meds." "Yes." "Me too. And I have never felt better."

1711

The café is empty save for Nicole seated at the back table where she is scrolling on her phone. Today she is wearing a black long sleeved T shirt and tight blue jeans. Her acid green hair appears to be on fire, like the colour from chemical soaked logs in a suburban fireplace. "Hey you guys", she says with a smile while lowering her phone onto the table. "What a nice surprise. Back for some more?" "Just coffee for all of us", say I. "What, no cookie for you", she coos as though talking to a three year old. "no cookie for anyone." "Where's Sarah and the Latino guy?" "Sarah is otherwise engaged, and Jesús has returned to Colombia." "That was pretty sudden." Then she looks at Stella, a bit wide eyed and perplexed, "Nice to see you again, Stella..." "And you as well, Nicole" She has gone behind the counter to pour our coffees which she serves to us on a tray. We have joined two tables together and Nicole has pulled up an extra chair to sit with us before things get busy. "Are you considering my proposal", says Stella to Nicole. "First", says Carl, "Perhaps we could introduce our other two friends here. Nicole, I would like you to meet Erik who is also Chris' brother- in- law, just arrived from Sweden, and an old family relation of Stella's, Caspar, here from...from..." "Also from Sweden", interjects Stella, clearly wanting to protect Caspar. "Neither Cynthia nor Chuck think it would be workable. I haven't made up my mind yet, and maybe you could answer a couple of questions for me." "By all means, Nicole, but first I should talk some more with Cynthia." "She has already said no." "Perhaps I could see her where she works." "That is completely forbidden. She is actually very upset with you for dropping in like that." "I really don't see what the problem is. I am after all, a woman." "but you are trans." "But, I am a woman." "Sorry, but policy bars everyone from being there who is not a biological female from birth. "Which I most happen to be" "I am sorry, but", "I will have you kow, Nicole, that I also gave birth to a child, who unfortunately died when she was ten." Nicole says nothing, but her eyes have just widened. "Of course, it was a long time ago. She was born in 1947, then passed away ten years later from luekemia." "Wait a minute. You just said, 1947?" "I am much older than I happen to look, dear." "And I would just love to meet your plastic surgeon." "I will have you know that I have never gone under the knife", says Stella with one sly little smile. "Um, are you guys sure you don't want some cookies. On the house. Fresh out of the oven... "

1710

"How early are we going to be for your appointment" "About an hour, if trafic remains this good." "we have time to say hi to Nicole", says Carl. "Nicole", chimes Stella, who for some reason has replaced Carl in the backseat, which leaves me a little bit worried about Caspar, since he seems to need her support and protection. But he appears silent and tranquil where he is seated behind between Erik and Carl. "The green haired girl you were sitting with in the Café the other day with Chuck and Cynthia." "Oh yes. You mean to say she works in the bakery we are going to." "She owns it with her partner." "The girl does get around." "Okay", say I. "We are stopping at Baked, but only on the condition that no one here indulges in cannabis while we are there." "Yes, Miss Grundy", quips Carl. "That's MS Grundy to you, young man."

1709

"a couple of days ago", says Carl, "Chris took some of us to a pot bakery on Commercial Drive where we got loaded up on cookies." "Really loaded", I quip. "And then, instead of simply abstaining like the perfect Mrs Grundy she is, she goes and chucks all the remaining cookies in the garbage." I am not sure how I enjoy being referred to in the feminine gender, but I am sure I have been called worse things by nicer people, and now I am repeating this out loud. "I have been called worse things by nicer people." "i am sure you have dear", says Stella, giving my upper arm an affectionte squeeze. I wince from the sudden pain and she really doesn't seem to know her own strength.

1718

Following a good -natured scrap about who is going to pay for our lunch, Stella has conceded defeat and Carl has taken out his wallet and reaches now for his credit card. They are a bit tinged with a certain subtle combative tone, rather like two siblings who have often expressed their deep mutual love through competitive sniping. Smiling wryly she says to us, "how do you like having rich friends?" "Haven't complained lately", I respond. Caspar is now completely held inside hnself. Erik appears to be taking interest, and has been furtively eyeing our new companion through dessert, cheesecake for everyone. "We're going to arrive early", say I, since traffic seems pretty gentle today. "I have an idea", chimes Carl. "Let's stop at that bakery on Commercial Drive. "For cookies!" "We've had our dessert, buddy", say I To Stella he says grinning, "Wanna cookie, little girl?"

1707

Caspar's face lights up, oh so briefly, and his lips are tightened like a sealed document. Stella intervenes. "Caspar is staying with me. Right now he is too vulnerable, you are all too vulnerable to provide a situation that would be safe for all of you. You do not know what he is just coming out of, nor the great residue of darkness that he carries. I am both trained and equipped to guid him through this. Caspar, do you trust me." "Yes, isabella", he mumbles sighing. "Yes Isabella. The darkness still clings to me. It is horrible. So horrible." "This is going to take time dear. We also have to talk to Sven..."

The Peacock 1706

"I would like to know what Caspar thinks", say I. "Caspar?" And now the power between us appears to be balancing because now I am directing, and Caspar meekly lowers his eyes in response to my gaze. "I have nowhere to go", he says between a whisper and a gasp. "Oh bollocks", says Stella, "You are sharing my air b and b with me. Remember?" "And then where do I go." "Where do we go Caspar. Next week, to that lovely grand house that is being painted." "There is also room in my family home", say I, recalling that Jesús, and George and Jeffrey have just left two rooms vacant...

The Peacock 1704

"When do you expect the house should be ready", says Stella. "I was hoping for Wednesday, but after talking with the painters and seeing how much work needs to be done, I think we can expect to have it ready by next week sometime.", says Carl. "Oh Goody, I can hardly wait." "you really are expecting to live there." "Darling, it is foreordained. And Caspar also has to pick his room." "Caspar", says Carl "Oh yes, darling, Caspar is also foreordained to live with us. Don't worry darling, he is now just an ordinary mortal, full human being, a young and vulnerable lad who is going to be needing and counting on our full support and protection...

The Peacock 1703

The restaurant isn't that full inside, but like most establishments during this pandemic, they have had to reduce indoor seating, which they have compensated with a large sidewalk patio. Carl is having a multistacked hamburger with a huge side of fries. Stella has opted for the chicken cesar with garlic toast. I am having a veggie burger with fries, Erik is inhaling fettuccini alfredo, and with Stella's guidance Caspar is tucking into a chicken vegetable curry. We all seem to be talked out for now, and I am conscious of the time because I have to be at the mental health team at two-thirty. As though reading my mind, Stella says, "you do realize we are all going with you." "I actually really appreciate that." "And how fortunate that I also happen to have brought with me every single passport I have ever owned over the past eighty years or so, each representing up to, shall we say, a half dozen different countries"

The Peacock 1702

We are all obediently wearing our covid masks now that we have sat down at the table. Erik suddenly asks, "Isn't Sven in forensic custody right now?" "Could we leave this till later please?" implores Stella. "I just want to kow how he could escape from there to consult with you and with Stella's grandfather, because that entity is of course their grandparent." "Erik please." "It's all right Isabella, I can give a quick and discreet explanation. He lives outside of time and space as we understand them, so that we were all simultaneously in Sven's holding cell and in the realm of shadows. I cannot explain further." "That will do for now, Caspar", says Isabella. "You must be very hungry right now." "I am as a matter of fact." I cannot keep my eyes off him...

The Peacock 1701

".. He was going to cast me into the lake of eternal fire, that place of hell that is not the creation of God but of the master of the dark lord, and your brother Sven pleaded that I be spared, and so he has banished us both from his presence." "My brother too?" says Stella, perplexed. "Sven Lindstrom, my stepson and your twin, no longer is in the service of the shadows. He is banished. I know not of where he is right now or of how he is, but Isabella, you must get in contact with him. At once. He has moved to our side." "I do find that hard to believe, Caspar." We have been walking all this time and have finally arrive at the door of the yuppie restaurant where we are going to have lunch. "Since we are going to be surrounded by ears", she says, "Better that we continue the theme after we've eaten...

The Peacock 1700

"I married your mother, Isabella", he says turning to her, "But it was never consummated I simply wanted to save all of you from disgrace, and my master became wroth, continually threatening me, continully calling me aside for punishments and tortures, and finally when Sven came of age, I went to sleep again. I only awoke just a few days ago in Sweden, where I found myself standing before the dark lord, being stripped of my immortality, and your twin coming between us, pleading for me...

1699

"I am interested in knowing more about you. About your past." "There is not much to tell. I remember so little, even though I have lived for so long. But most of this time I have spent sleeping." "Sleeping?" "My first memory, I was a child in Tibet, and I was taken by my master to a place in northern india. The Buddha had just been enlightened, and my task was to influence and corrupt the process. I was a child and living on the street, alone, abandoned and hungry, and one of his disciples took me into his care, so I worked on him for a while. Before I could reach the master himself, I lost all consciousness, until I was much in the form I am now, a youth on the threshold of manhood. I was watching with the crowd as they brought Jesus to his place of executon", and here he shudders and goes quiet. Then he looks up at me, his dark eyes clear now, and there appears to be a gleam of light flickering in the pupils. "After I drove in the nails, after he looked at me with such pity and compassion, I lost all consciousness again, and only awoke on a beach in Sweden a bit more than a hundred years ago where the dark lord was instructing me to take into my custody the mother of Isabella and Sven and direct them to the house where he would seduce her and conceive the twins...

1698

That place was full of yuppies when we were there", say I. "Yep", says Carl, "Our kind of people." "You may speak for yourself", says Stella. "I must say that I am feeling ravenous. I had a bagel with peanut butter and jam this morning, and now I could eat a vegan horse." "Aren't all horses vegan?" sys Erik. "I should imagine so", she says. Right now, I really want to know more about Caspar. To somehow get him talking. And now, as though reading his thoughts, he stares directly at me, and I find myself melting inside, yielding under his power. You were wanting to ask me some questions", he says.

1697

"Where am I going to sleep tonight", says Caspar, and now more than ever he looks to me like a street kid. I cannot believe that he is two thousand years old. Perhaps nineteen in earth years, but he just looks so pathetic, lost, lonely, and I really just want to put my arms around him and give him a big, long consoling hug. "For the next couple of nights you will be sleeping with me, I don't mean in the literal sense, but in the living room of my darling little air b and b, where there is such a comfy sofa that has made for Caspar written all over it." "Have we thought about lunch yet" says Erik. "There should be something in the area here", say I. "How about that place we visited last weekend when we were on our way from the valley?" says Carl.

1696

"How did you escape from the dark lord?" say I, absolutely ravenous with curiosity. "That was the work of my brother", says Stella. "But he works for the dark lord." "Yes and no. My sibling really has one of the most profound cases of divided loyalties. His time with Our Lord, on the island, set something in motion that not even my incompetent brother can completely screw up. Having been informed by the Millionth Council, I got hold of him immediately, and suddenly, he was cooperative and he took some enormous risks helping you escape, Caspar, especially after I carefully reminded him that he is your stepson. What he didn't do was give you enough money to live on, but don't worry, I will take care of you."

1695

"Can you believe it's already noon?" says Carl. "What do we say we go somewhere for lunch then take Christopher to his , er, medical appointment. "Of course we are assuming that Caspar will also be welcome", says Stella. "Caspar, would you like to have lunch with us?" "I actually have not eaten since yesterday", he mumbles. "Oh, my dear", says Stella, "Then we are going to have to feed you lunch." "Isabella", he says, "There is something that I must tell you." "Yes Caspar." "I have lost my immortality. Before I came here, the dark lord summoned me to his presence. His first motive was to destroy me utterly, but instead he has stripped me of my immortality. I flew here from Sweden four days ago, did my required covid quarantine in a hotel, and that took care of all the money that I have in the world. I walked here from the airport, knowing you would be here, and I slept on the sidewalk last night. I am now an ordinary mortal, human as the rest of you...

1694

"Christopher", says my brother-in-law in that restrained, perplexed, exasperated, annoyed and scolding tone of his that I already have known all too well, "Whatever possessed you to tell all that to your case manager on the phone just now." "can you believe that it all just slipped out." "oh, come on", he says. "The devil made you do it." I did feel a certain gratification of mischief while confusing the hell out of Lawrence just now, but why should I be forced to admit it? But I had might as well. "A little gremlin must have taken hold of me." "Yes, Christopher, and I already know that gremlin of yours all too well." He is rolling his eyes and now diverting his attention to his coffee, clearly his signal that the subject is now closed. "Of course", says Carl, with that gleam in his eye I am already becoming too familiar with, "We could always just drop you there and let you fend for yourself.." "Which", says Stella, "Is something we are not even going to think of doing to you. Isn't that right Caspar." But Caspar appears to be done with talking for a while, as he holds in both his very young looking hands like the Sacred Chalice the glass of cold water that Carl gave him... Caspar turns to Carl and says in a soft low voice, "Thank you for the water." Stella stares at caspar, her eyes widened with shock. "Caspar. Did you actually thank Carl." He nods. And now the woman at the other table, she is wearing square dark rim glasses and has long straight bleach blonde hair and bangs, gets up and approaches our table. Before Stella can intervene, Caspar's face has already lit up with fear and disgust and screams at her, "Get out!". The woman hesitates. Then tries to advance nearer. "Do as he says", thunders Stella. "Zena, you are not welcome here." Zena reaches forth her left hand and mutters something, perhaps an imprecation in an unknown tongue, then turns and leaves the café.

1693

"I would be delighted to meet our psychiatrist", says Stella. "I have a few things to tell those people." "How is Caspar?" "I am well, I think", says Caspar. Thank you for asking." "I could overhear you while I was on the phone." "And we could overhear you", says Stella, as you were telling your worker everything about us." "Which is why I am going to be needing some backup." "Don't worry", says Erik, "They are not going to put you in hospital." "Not if we can help it, anyway", says Carl...

1692

"What happened next?" says Carl to Caspar. "They were just about to raise him up on the cross and he looked at me, looked very fixedly at me, and I could only see the most tender, anguished compassion in his eyes, and then, I knew nothing." "Important call?" Carl asks me. "That was my new case manager. He wants to see me right away today at two-thirty. I was wondering if you could all come with me..."

1691

"Hello, am I speaking to Christopher Jones" says a youngish male voice I have never heard in my life. "Yes, I am he". And just now I am hearing Caspar's great confession. Says Caspar, "I was there when it all happened. Two thousand years ago." "Good morning, Christopher. My name is Lawrence and I am your new case manager. How are you today." Continues Caspar, "I was there when he died. I watched. I saw everything." "Fine thanks." "It was I who drove the nails, who drove the nails into his hands, his feet..." "I was wondering if you could come in some time this week. I will be away on vacation, but one of my colleagues will be happy to see you. It's just for a quick review. I understand it has been at least a year since you were last in to see us." Continues Caspar, "I was just there, watching, under the directions of the dark lord, but I didn't realise at the time that one of the soldiers would make me do it. He seemed to assume I was just some Jewish kid watching the whole scene, with nothing better to do..." "Hello Christopher", says Lawrence, sounding very patient and professional, "are you still with me." "Oh, sorry. I'm in a coffee shop in New West with some friends, and this guy who just joined us has just told the most remarkable story. He says that he was there when they crucified my Lord." "Sorry?" "His name is Caspar. he just joined us out of the blue, and now he is telling everyone that two thousnd yers ago he not only witnessed the crucifixion, but that it was he who drove the nails into the hands and feet of Jesus." "That sounds very interesting", says Lawrence, very tactfully. "How did you neet this person?" "He appears to be someone whom Stella, this transwoman with us who is an old friend of Carl's, one of my friends here, and she herself is pretty old, more than a hundred, but you would never guess it to see her, she appears very young for her age." "She must have taken very good care of herself", says Lawrence in a very careful voice. "I mean, she looks super young. She could easily pass for thirty, maybe thirty-five. She used to be a hooker." "you mean to say she was a sex worker." "Stella doesn't use that word. She says hooker, or prostitute, and my Friend Carl, who is with us here, was friends with her, and for a while lived with her in Amsterdam twenty years ago. Carl was also a hooker. Gay male, of course. In Amsterdam. He is Dutch." "Say, Chrisopher, I am just reviewing my agenda for today and I could actually fit you in at two-thirty. In fact, I would highly encourage you to come in and see me today. Is two thirty okay." "I suppose it should be fine..."

1690

"Caspar", says Stella. He doesn't answer. He has covered his head with his hoodie and his head is bowed almost down to his lap so that no one can see his face. "Caspar", she repeats, and I notice a slight tremor in his body. Now he is convulsing. "Caspar, what can we do to help." For my part, while my phone is ringing in my front pocket, I cannot imagine that he could be more than twenty years old. He raises lhimself up and removes the hood. Tears are streaming down his face. He is composing himself. It is a call from the mental health team. I have to take it. "You don't know what I did to him", says Caspar, as I step away from the table in order to take this call...

1789

And then, seeing you Isabella, through those years in your happy English home, with a loving mother and father in a tranquil seaside community near Cornwall, I felt a strange mixture of envy, longing and pure delight. I never wanted to leave you people, despite the many tortures ands punishments that awaited me every time we returned to your father in Sweden." "They have told me some of this already", says Stella. "Caspar, I want you to prepare for something. I have it on authority that the Lord, the Prince of Peace and Light, wants soon to arrange a meeting with you. Are you willing to do this." And now we all look on as Caspar's eyes widen with sad and helpless terror.

1688

"How so?" "When I married your mother, I went completely against the wishes of my master, who had sired you. But something had suddenly transformed in me. For the first time in my life, I felt care and love for another. Not fear, out of which I and others slavishly obey our master, but love. When your mother fled with her British soldier and you I felt genuinely heartbroken. And remorseful. Our master charged me with the sole custody of your sibling, but I could never quite bring myself to inspiring him to covet power and dominance through hate. I became instead a doting stepfather, and many times your father would brutally punish me with unspeakable torments I could not begin to describe here, and every time I submitted to him, there was something in that child that made me want to love and care, but not dominate or corrupt. That was really why I came with him to visit you all those years in England...

1687

Stella continues, "Zena has been charged with "rescuing" Caspar, whom they have now almost completely lost. But she cannot come near you, Caspar. You are safe with us You are among friends. "Thank you isabella", he says softly. "You still call me by my childhood name", she says fondly. "I am deeply, deeply sorry", he says, putting down his glass of water, "For all the harm I have caused." "Caspar", she says, chuckling, "were it not for you and your evil deeds I would not be here right now. It was you who introduced my mother to my father. And you also became stepfather to my twin sibling." "That was when the change really began", says Caspar.

1686

"I suppose you are waiting for an explanation", says Stella to us patiently. "That would be nice", says Carl, who appears completely at ease with his old friend, playful rather. "Zena is of the same kind as Curtis. You will remember him from the hotel last night." "That was the desk clerk", say I. "they are like drones. They are not human in the sense that we are, and yes, I know I am a hybrid, but they are of another sort altogether, and in the service of the dark lord. They have no power over me because I have abandoned all evil, but they can still influence and control anyone else who is not fully surrendered to the Good...

1684

"what is he doing here?" says Erik. "Spying. the little rat can somehow get anywhere at any time. I don't know how he does it, but he has had a few thousand years of practice. "Stella, please, " say I, "with all due respect. This kid couldn't be twenty years old, yet you say he is your brother's step-father, whom you claim to be, like you, over a hundred years old. Could you please give us an explanation. Please." "Caspar is rather of a kind similar to Carl and me. But we are hybrids. He is purebred. And for as long as we can number the centuries, he has been in the service of the dark side. Don't let his prettiness or his innocent face delude you." Carl has just brought Caspar a glass of water, which he accepts silently. And now I am beginning to notice this young woman, two tables down, who has not taken her eyes off us since we arrived here half an hour ago.

1682

"That is so sad, Carl. Covid I imagine." "He came here from Switzerland with his wife and Mom. They were all hospitalized. Frida, that's John's wife, seems to be improving." I have noticed, the last few minutes, Stella's eyes darting back and forth, as though she needs to be vigilant. And now I can see why. "Caspar", she growls, and gets up, eyeing a young man in a black hoody who has been surveiling us from the next table. He gets up and tries to leave. Stella runs after him. He tries to flee, but before he can make it to the door she has him in a full nelson and now she is frogmarching him back to our table... Instinctively I have just procured an extra chair for our unexpected visitor where Stella dumps him like a sack of potatoes. "Don't try to get aaway, this time, Caspar", she says, her hand firmly on his shoulder. "You are now under the power of the Millionth Council." Then to us she says, "Friends, let it be my great pleasure to introduce to you the step-father of my twin sibling. Nothing could be more prepostrous. The kid looks barely twenty. And he is actually a beautiful boy, with straight chestnut hair combed back and big doe like eyes adorning a rather thin but unblemished face. "Nice to meet you, Caspar", says Carl, who is seated nearest to him, and extends to him his hand. Caspar merely looks up at him, uncomprehendingly, both his arms hanging limp at his side. "He isn't going to have much to say right now", says Stella. "He is under our power and likely will remain pretty quiet. but the young Jesus did instruct me that he would be delivering him into our hands today...

1681

"I think what also held him in check was my mother. He was under constant threat from her to go to the authorities and go public if he ever made another move on us." "I understand that Astrid is coming to see you", says Stella, and now I am reassured that she is not omniscient. "She's here now. in hospital with covid." "I am so sad to hear that." Another evidence that Stella is human. She is capable of empathy, or at least of saying it. "is she allowed visitors." "She was, and I got in to see her, but now she is back under quarantine. I am going to call them today to see if anything has changed. Unfortunately one of her friends who came with her has just passed away."