The Terror Of Extroverts

I want to continue with yesterday's themes.  There is not only a tendency but a tacit directive in Canadian society that to do well, to be well, to be well thought of, then you have to be an extrovert, or at least to be pretty darn good at faking it.  This manifests everywhere, in advertising, entertainment, in social media, websites for finding a romantic partner, hook up, spouse or friends.  And professionally, of course.  In my field for example, mental health, one of the major obstacles towards recovery is seen as "isolating".  There are very good reasons why we have this concern, by the way, and it has been found over and over that one of the major components of having good mental health involves having a secure support network of family and/or friends.  What I find unfortunate in this expectation, and it is an expectation, is that it seems to allow little room for healthy solitude and introspection.  It is not a model that accommodates introverts.
     I have encountered this kind of thinking in the building where I live.  This is a mixed social housing complex with forty percent mental health tenants balanced with low income workers, seniors, refugees and others.  I am a low income worker.  However the mental health tenants, because of their need for support, tend to dominate and set the tone for the building.  For this reason management has often shown a tendency both towards favouring the tenants with a mental illness and treating the rest of us as though we also are mentally ill. 
     I really began to notice this when several years ago the former and original manager of my apartment building accused me of "isolating" because I showed no interest in doing volunteer work around the building or of befriending or socializing with other tenants.  This was not only insulting but hugely inaccurate.  I had made already several attempts to involve myself with the various programs and activities in my building only to find that I have almost nothing in common with the other tenants and that in many cases we quite dislike each other, or at least they seem to dislike or simply not be able to relate to me or not at all interested in relating to me.  I also work in the mental health field myself and have interacted professionally with a number of tenants in my building as my clients in a psychiatric facility where I work. 
     It became quickly evident that in order to maintain good healthy boundaries and protect my privacy and get adequate rest, recuperation and down time that I would have to distance myself from the other tenants in my building and this distance holds to this very day.  I mentioned that I am a hybrid between extrovert and introvert.  When I am here in my building I am an introvert and I only leave my apartment if I am leaving the building.
     I think it's a no-brainer that even introverts need friends, and actually, because we are introverts, we especially need friends, and we often end up befriended by extroverts with whom we have absolutely nothing in common because, well, they tend to make friends a lot easier than we do.  Notice that here I am identifying myself as an introvert.  I did mention that I am a hybrid.  I have also often made friends with people more introverted than myself, simply because I am very good at reaching out to others.  Some introverts say that they are happy without other people, that they prefer to stay away from people, that for them hell is other people.  I suppose they are largely correct.  But I think there also comes a time when we have to do things for ourselves that we do not like, simply because we stand to benefit, and that our lives can be also a gift to others.  I try to remind myself of this whenever I find myself getting very comfortable in my solitude.
     Extroverts need to cultivate quiet and solitude.  They need to learn how to reflect, how to analyze and understand themselves, how to take care to wait and think before they speak or act with others.  Even as they learn these things they will still always be extroverts, but they will have also acquired new skills and balance to their lives.
     Likewise introverts need to learn how to reach out to others, to make small talk, to initiate conversations, to involve themselves in groups, committees, or even in team sports.  They are going to remain introverts but at least they will have also enriched their lives with other people and enriched others with their gift of themselves.
     In conclusion I would also like to mention that capitalism, especially this particularly voracious, take-no-prisoners global capitalism that is making scorched earth of everything is the ultimate manifestation of extroversion.  This is the terror of extroverts, by extroverts and we need more than ever in our history the common sense and vision and wisdom of the introverts before we have destroyed our precious Planet Earth and ourselves with her.