Yes, working with the public. And having a life. In the same community. Boundaries can be tricky. If you happen to be a barista or waiter who is quite popular with customers and if some of these same patrons are likely to run into you during your time off what is one supposed to do? Being a frequent user of cafes, less now than when I was younger, I have often encountered workers off duty. Our form of interaction could run the full range, one might say. Some are definitely friendly. They don't only like you for tipping well and not leaving a mess to clean up, they really do like you and they are absolutely great people. This hasn't happened often, but it has happened and I have been pleasantly surprised with some fine new friends I've made because of this.
Many don't even know who I am. I am one of hundreds with whom they have to interact every day and get paid an unliveable wage for it. I don't expect them to like me or recognize me. I don't try to greet them, I let them walk by and continue living their lives and enjoying their limited free time. And why should they have to be nice to me when they are not being paid for it?
On two occasions only was I greeted with outright hostility. And I do have to admit that I already put my foot in it so really in a way I deserved it. The first time was with a young woman, a waitress who seemed to hate almost everyone. I was a regular in a very popular eastside café where she worked. I was also well-liked by staff, some of whom were also personal friends of mine. One evening I wandered inside said café and it turned out that she was occupying, with a friend, the next table. Just as I was taking my seat I smiled her way and said hi and how are you. She glared up at me like she was just about to start hurling feces at me and shouted, "I am your waitress. I get paid to be nice to you. I'm not working right now so leave me alone."
I moved across the room. The waitress in the section wanted to know why I moved and if there was anything bothering me. I told her what happened and she told me that she would take care of it. I asked her please not to make an issue of it with her and she simply replied "You are one of our best customers and she's gotten away with way too much around here. Let me take care of it."
She was fired and I never saw her again, at least not for many years. Then one day, three years ago, just after work I was enjoying a summer walk along a street full of trees. I was talking on the phone with one of my supervisors who was updating me about one of my clients. A woman on a bike stopped to talk with me, just when I was in the middle of talking about some personal details about said client. I didn't have a clue who this person was. Perhaps she was a tourist and wanted directions. It seemed quite important to her that we talk so I asked my supervisor to excuse me for a moment. The woman identified herself and apologized for how she treated me that evening seventeen years ago and then I knew her. I gave her a big wide smile and accepted her apology and thanked her from the bottom of my heart for stopping to talk with me. It was rather interesting telling my supervisor what had just occurred.
I also work with the public in my capacity as a mental health peer support worker. I sometimes run into my clients and former clients out in the community. Some even live in my apartment building. I have to be friendly, well, nice, okay, let's say civil. Today I saw one in the local No Frills supermarket (affectionately known as Cheap Thrills), a tall young man in front of me at the check out with his mother. We had a brief nice kind of chat and he seemed appreciative of the support I gave him while he was a patient at one of the psychiatric of facilities that employ me. I was also struggling to be gracious under pressure. I was kept late in my previous gig as my site supervisor and I had a lot of unexpected work to take care of and I had to get over to another part of town to meet my next client.
I am writing this because today I was thinking of an interview I had for a position at a social services agency for street youth. One of the questions I was asked was how I would respond if I was walking by a local coffee shop and one of my clients ran over to me, on my free time, and insisted she had to talk to me right away about something. I replied that I would still have given her about five minutes to find out what was happening, then I would tell her which co-worker to talk to or I would even phone that co-worker for her, then reassure her that everything would be taken care of and get on with my day. I did not get the job. I still think it was a good answer.
People who work out in the public are particularly vulnerable and are entitled to their privacy and should not be expected to make like your best friend forever while they are off duty.
When the public interact with you at work they are often going to be affected and impacted by you negatively or positively. If you project a particularly warm persona and have gained the trust and affection of your clients then you should expect them to be treated with civility if you should happen to stumble across them in the Laundromat. You don't have to go out for a dish of poutine with them but don't mess with their heads by suddenly ignoring them or telling them to please go away and leave you in your misery.
But please be kind. And patrons, please be respectful.
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