Anyone remember that song, made famous by Frank Sinatra's daughter, Nancy Sinatra? Nancy WHO? Anyway she sang about boots back in the sixties. Footwear. I remember when power boots made a comeback maybe ten years ago. Suddenly young women everywhere were strutting around in them. Not that I care. I only really began to notice one day when I was walking downtown--I think I had just left the library--and I heard what sounded distinctly like a team of Clydesdale horses trotting on cobblestones. Only the ground was starting to shake. I turned around and there was a very pretty Japanese girl, perhaps all of nineteen years old, likely an international student, and dressed and made up to the nines. She could have passed for a pop singer or a high class tart but everything about her was China-doll perfect except for one little detail. Those boots. That's what was making the ground shake. I never would have imagined that such a tiny person, perhaps weighing just slightly over one hundred pounds could make such a frightening racket while walking.
Those boots were soon everywhere. It became an acoustic terror venturing outside even in the daytime. The boots are no longer the trend they once were. In fact, I'll bet you doughnuts to pesos that no self-respecting fashion victim (how's that for an oxymoron?) would be caught dead wearing boots like that, which always seemed to go over the knees, like she was going fly-fishing. Somehow shoe technology has mastered the art of concentrating the ear-shattering racket into small wooden heels. You know the kind. They do professional Flamenco dancers proud. And none of these women wearing these ridiculous noise-makers on the back of their feet seem to have a clue nor the remotest trace of self-consciousness or embarrassment about the industrial racket they are with each footstep making. I think for some there is even a sick sense of power they are feeling. I am woman, hear me stomp.
Then there's this squeaky shoe trend for toddlers. The first time I heard them I was at work in the community with a client. We were sitting in a poor excuse for a coffee shop in a community centre where I heard what at first sounded like an obsessive compulsive (convulsive?) child carrying around a squeaky toy that he had to show off for all to hear. I looked a bit closer and said child, probably all of two years old or less (I understand that kids at that age have the IQ of a Chihuahua) looking up at me with the sweetest wondering eyes and all I could do was smile and say wow you're mom is always going to know where you are with those little shoes. I forgot to add that she might have better luck with an electronic monitoring bracelet. Squeaky shoes on little kids ought to be banned. They are maddening. Be a responsible parent and just keep an eye on your goddam child if you don't want her getting lost. Or put him on a leash.
My final invective award goes to one of the most unfortunate trends in sports footwear. The neon green running shoe. Come on you guys, who would really be caught dead wearing anything so ugly and ridiculous. But young guys are wearing them. They're everywhere! The first time I saw someone wearing them maybe last year or almost two years ago I wanted to lay a consoling hand on his shoulder and say "may your shoes wear out long before the fashion does." I understand the excuse for this ugly footwear is so car drivers can see you at night. Or maybe you could quit running in traffic and stay on the sidewalk. But that's where pedestrians belong and some of us do not take kindly to being nearly run over by joggers, especially people with disabilities or elderly people walking with a cane or a walker.
Full disclosure here: I cannot remember the last time I bought shoes. I have been gradually trying to wear out what I already have before I make any new purchases and I have to admit that my first colour choice is black, even for runners, except for a pair of out of fashion white joggers that still have a lot of life left in them. Anyway I don't expect people to look at my feet, but rather my face and when we are talking to each other, especially in the eye.
No comments:
Post a Comment