Last fall I was at a professional retreat with one of the mental health teams I work at. In the afternoon they handed out little certificates to each staff member naming several qualities by which we are each known. My certificate contained the words Artist, Traveller, Tenacious, and Resourceful. It all kind of makes sense in a way. To do well as an artist or a traveller one needs to be tenacious and resourceful. They are both creative activities and they demand a lot.
I find that while travelling alone identity becomes particularly interesting. I am in a foreign country with nothing or no one familiar to use as reference. Everyone I meet is for the first time. You can only make a first impression once, they say. What I find interesting and refreshing is that no one can use anything from my past against me. They see me as I am, now, without any baggage. It is almost like reinventing myself.
Yesterday morning during breakfast on the patio I watched as a bright yellow hibiscus flower in the garden gradually bloomed and unfurled in the sun. When I came back a couple of hours later it was in full splendour. That's all it took. Time in the sun, the warmth and light bidding it to unfold.
I think there is something about travelling solo that really helps me grow as a person. It probably isn't for everyone. Every time I return from one of these one month or longer excursions I feel a little bit renewed but also changed somehow. I really believe that character and personality are not fixed concepts. They are mutable and influenced and changed by our enviornment. But I also believe just as strongly that there is a unique core truth that is essential to every human being. Like the hibiscus unfurling in the sun. All it needs is the DNA and nature does the rest.
I had a dream last night where I was carrying a blue cat on a train. My mother had told me to hold onto that blue cat and not lose it, but to protect it. Now it wasn't a Russian blue cat, it's fur was actually a lovely sky blue colour. So I held it and carried it and when it was restless or seemed anxious I petted and stroked it.
I believe the cat represents my sense of identity and my need to nurture and protect this while in transit. This might also be the reason why I am so intensely focussed on my art during this trip. I seem to be doing very well and I am eager to show my work to everyone when I am back. Everyone in Vancouver, anyway.
I'm not really that interested in seeing a lot of Bogota, and really that just happens anyway during my walk-abouts. The city, and its people, are really their own reward. This is even more an interior journey than an outward one. But the exterior is also kind of interesting.
I found myself wondering today if my room is haunted. Twice I have discovered, first on one of the socks I was wearing, then this morning on my wash cloth a bright spot of magenta colour. I have no idea where this could have come from. There is nothing magenta in my room and I'm not carrying paints, and the coloured ball point pens I use in my art are always carefully capped. Also this morning, while trying to open my door I found it jammed. Then I looked down and noticed that in the lower part of it was bolted. I never before noticed this bolt on my door. Cue the theme to the Twilight Zone.
No comments:
Post a Comment