This seems to be how I meet people. Quite simply, I meet them. Or we meet each other? It isn't all that spontaneous. I have made several new friends online through the Conversation Exchange Page where we arrange to meet together and help each other with language. In my case I offer support in English for support in Spanish. They don't all become friends or good friends. In some cases, after one or two contacts we simply decide that any further face time could result in mutual homicide and we very gladly go our separate ways. But some, a few, have become excellent friends and are people with whom I hope to be in contact for many years to come.
Other people I tend to meet more spontaneously. And not with the intention of befriending and hanging out with for life every single person I see on the street or public transit or in a coffee shop or a forest or wherever. Most recently was that fellow who gave me a meteorite after we began to spontaneously chat with each other in Spanish. I really have no idea if we will see each other again. That same day I encountered a man from the church I used to attend. He seemed interested in chatting but I was with a client so I simply mumbled "I'm at work right now" and he kept moving.
I have just been having email contact with yet another friend of random occurrences. I will do almost nothing to identify him since it is not my intention to embarrass anyone on these pages unless they are absolute douchebags and have done something to deserve it, and this fine individual is certainly not a douchebag. I saw him in the forest. He was sitting on my bench. I at first thought, "What the hell is he doing on my bench?" But I figured, well, he deserves to sit there too, my name isn't on it and I would like to sit so I'll see if he's okay with sharing. He was okay with sharing. We sat quietly for a while, then I thanked him and left. A week later we quietly shared the same bench again. Another week passed and there we were, but this time we had a conversation. I discerned a decent creative person and a few days later we had coffee together before he left for his native country.
I have met many people this way. Some are still friends, some aren't and I continue meeting others on this basis, not out of any sense of need, neediness and certainly without a conscious agenda to make a hobby of collecting friends. Quite simply, I am a friendly person. I believe that we are all connected and that we are all family, and really, there are so few variations in the human genome all across the full racial spectrum that we'd might as well say that we are all related. I am often friendly and I try to be respectful. If the other person doesn't want to say anything I keep my mouth shut. If I sense that they want their space, I leave them alone. In some cases they will want to chat a bit, or maybe, say on the bus, share a joke, or if they want to inquire about my art while I'm drawing in a coffee shop they might want to stay and visit for a while.
This is my advice to those who whine and grumble about what an unfriendly city Vancouver is: First and foremost, GET OVER YOURSELVES!!! Chuck out your inventory of what kind or class of people you want to be friends with because chances are you might stay very lonely for the rest of you life unless you get over your high school snobbery and make an effort to reach out beyond your personal comfort zone. Leave your iPod at home and put your phone in your pocket and pay attention to your surroundings. Try to see those around you as long lost relatives, but please do not stare. If you are looking for a girlfriend, boyfriend, spouse, hookup or you just want to get laid then don't do this. Go online and look there. But if out in public, you see someone's eyes brighten just a little, when you say hi to them, and they might want to simply ask how are you, then please respond. See if they want to pause or visit. Always be respectful. Be very patient because things never go as planned or expected and be prepared to be surprised.
And don't be a creep.
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