I am grateful for community. This today has been inspired, once again, by people I was opening the door for. I was in a coffee shop with one of my clients, seated by the door, and I helped a woman pushing a man in a wheelchair both coming in and leaving, as well as a woman juggling a toddler and a baby in a stroller. The woman with the fellow in the wheelchair suggested I should be paid for this. I cheerfully replied that this is why we call this community.
Community. Quite a loaded word with many different meanings for many different people. In this context I am thinking of the way we all tend to interact and impact on one another. A lot of people seem to think that we are just a collective of unconnected individuals and that we generally have no relationship with one another that extends beyond a cash or business transaction. This way of thinking, I find problematic, and for a number of reasons:
1. This way of thinking, this Thatcher-esque way of thinking that says that there is no such thing as society, that we are only families and individuals, is sad and wrong-headed because it devalues us as human beings. It insinuates that there is no higher good to bring us together, that we are each our own world, our own universe, our own personal hell of selfishness.
2. This way of thinking is dangerous: to the weak, poor and vulnerable, it places us especially at risk of being ignored and neglected, of going hungry, homeless, of going without decent health care or mental health support, of leading an existence that is very deprived and sorry and likely to end in early death. To the wealthy, strong and successful, it means that there is no incentive for them to really grow as compassionate human beings. They might enjoy the best outcomes for health and longevity, but the lack of love in their lives can only result in a shallow, empty and meaningless existence.
3. We are not designed to be alone. Humans are genetically engineered to be social, to be communal. It's part of our collective DNA.
4. By acknowledging that we are a community we are also opening ourselves and one another to the possibility of love. I am not thinking here specifically of romantic or sexual love, rather the love of recognizing ourselves in others, and recognizing others in ourselves. Empathy and compassion, anyone?
5. We are not really human without one another. Our survival depends on community. We are not alone.
I have already admitted that I cannot expect a perfect world, neither that any of my actions or words are going to make a perfect world. That has never been my objective. I think that when people phrase it that way what they are really saying is they either don't care, or they don't want to care, or the need and the weltering, festering wound that is our humanity is just too huge and insurmountable.
This is why I try to make a difference. I am a Christian, not simply by belief, but by my own daily experience of the presence and love of God in my life. Even when I don't feel like it (and often I don't!) I find myself being drawn, or, compelled by love to reach out and help someone, or to say hi to a stranger, or to reach out with a kind word or gesture. And I am often blessed by others doing the same thing for me. For example, the twenty-something guy in the grocery store line-up, who not only cheerfully welcomed me as I dropped my five kilogram bag of flour next to his food items on the conveyer belt, but continued to chat with me in a way that was welcoming, friendly and good-humoured, including his comment about what I was going to do with the chocolate chips and flour once I got home (yes, Gentle Reader, I am making cookies right now).
Maybe random acts of kindness aren't going to give us a perfect world but they do help and encourage us to be better people. We role model for one another, and even making one small effort to make someone's day a little bit better could be just the one strategic small step that will be needed to begin a whole dynamic of social change and transformation. It's happened before. Remember Gandhi? Martin Luther King? Jean Vanier? To name a few.
Yes, we all have our excuses for not stepping out to do our part. And many of us are selfish cowards in a lot of ways. But we don't have to stay that way. And here, Gentle Reader, allow me to challenge each and every one of you, and myself as well. And here, let's promise together, that starting this moment, we will perform every day, at least one unselfish or friendly act, for a complete stranger if possible. And soon, we will no longer be selfish nor cowards. And we are likely to also feel less lonely.
This isn't to say that it's going to be easy. Nothing that's worth accomplishing ever is.
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