Collective Trauma: The Fallout 26

One of my biggest betes noires is joggers. I hate them. They should be driven off the earth. They get in the way. They should stay off the sidewalks and jog either on the bike path, or better, in the traffic. Every time I see one approaching me on the sidewalk I tense up and cringe. I want to hit them, or trip them, or at least swear at them. Why do I hate joggers? Because they are such selfish, mouth-breathing narcissists. I wouldn't mind them at all if they'd simply stay off the sidewalk or the walking paths so that pedestrians can have a little peace and quiet, but no. They have to dominate everything, with their huffing and puffing and hyperventilating like the most faked porn star orgasms you could ever imagine. They're even worse when they are approaching from behind, almost running you down, without saying so much as an excuse me. And what's even worse is how tolerated they are. How much slack is given those wankers. I have come to avoid favourite forests for walking, such as Pacific Spirit Park, because of those selfish idiots. I can't even enjoy an early morning walk on the seawall, because their speed, velocity and heavy breathing totally disrupt my tranquility. Joggers live on a different, very self-centred wave-length. They don't care about or notice other people. They're just out for themselves, trying to get fit of course, and this is why all those other idiots indulge them. They represent the new secular religion of health and wellness. That's right, Gentle Reader. In Bob Dylan's famous words, "You gotta serve somebody." Since now we are all atheists, or spiritual but not religious, we still have to contend with that void in the human soul. We also have to reckon with our fear of death and extinction, because if we don't believe in God or an afterlife, then it's lights out. There is absolutely nothing to look forward, nor any judgment to dread. Make up that bucket list and get in shape and stay in shape and jog and do yoga and go to the gym and annoy the crap out of everyone with your self-righteous and very self-centred spiel because we are not going to live forever, we do not want to face extinction, so we are going to stay alive and in shape and healthy and we are going to beat old mortality and live on this planet forever. And that is the driving force of this new religion of health and wellness. it is based on fear. It is based on panic. Atheism is a rather new phenomena in our human development. Before the 1960's, I think almost everyone believed in God, or at least a little bit, whether they attended church or not. Now faith is considered a quaint holdout for the uneducated, which in itself is ironic when you consider how many people of faith, at least in the Anglican tradition hold masters degrees and PhD's. But I still hold that for the most part, a lot of people don't believe because it is just too costly, and it means subjugating the real self. In this age of narcissism, self is considered god, and that would be blasphemy. Back to joggers. You have every right to run wherever the hell you want. Try running in traffic, and if you're too dumb to take out your earphones and get hit by a car, then we'll just call it natural selection, since we are of course all atheists now, and then we'll move on.