"I had this ongoing ideal during this trip, that there was a particular sacred purpose in my being in Europe. It wasn't to take care of Jeff, as I was quickly discovering, nor was it to find a publisher for my novel. The only way I could frame it was that Jesus was calling me to the High Places with him, but that I must become very small, because the way into those High Places is very small and only the very humble can pass through. I knew that the past three years had been very challenging to me, and with the beginning of this community, the impact of having Doug with me, including Dianne and Doreen in the work, and the daily dying to self that was required in order to do well with people living in very compromised circumstances.... And now I was arriving in Edinburgh, the city of my paternal ancestry with this lost, addicted, psychopathic failed rock star with an agenda for me, a diagnosis of AIDS and an interest in nothing and no one but his own paltry little self...
"I was learning humility, and I was learning it in spades. I also knew, upon arriving in Edinburgh, that this touching base with a city of my ancestry, would also somehow conduct me to that tiny little doorway that was going to lead me to the High Places with Jesus..."
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