"Of course, then my mother went and married a Canadian and moved with him to Vancouver, as far away as one might imagine. And I was not able to attend the wedding because they waited till they got to Canada, and I of course was the last to find out. I tried to keep in touch with her, but she was very tardy in responding to my letters and phone calls, and later wouldn't give me an email address. She soon stopped responding, so I gave up, accepting that I really was all alone in the world, but for my children, I was also singing again, helping provide vocal music for films and documentaries, sometimes for product commercials, like toothpaste, and chewing gum and suchlike. But I was at least singing and it was income, if not always reliable income. I even collaborated on a book about the girlfriends of rock stars, particularly from the experience and perspective of a groupie, but we were almost sued and several times over. But it was always overturned in the courts. You could say that at that time, in my fifties, I was really gathering strength. And now here I am. Not really a lot to brag about. I still live in this drab little council flat, though I do what I can to cheer it up. My children are my wealth, really, but painting, nature and other people always give me joy. Perhaps not the kind of glamorous life that was Carol's by entitlement. But I can honestly say that I am not only just happy, but that my life has come to overflow with joy.
"I only wish my sister would deign to call me. Or my mother. She did send me a brief letter last month saying that her husband had passed away. I gave her my condolences, asked her to stay in touch, but so far, nothing."
This is truly an emotional moment for Tina, and I can see that her eyes are welling up with tears. Instead of trying to contain them, she simply just lets them flow. I apologize for upsetting her but she says instead, "Oh, don't worry at all about it, love, I think I've just been needing a good cry. Here let me make us some coffee, shall I. Or do you prefer tea. We are English, you know..."
We agree on coffee. And then, while it is being made, she shows me one of her favourite butterfly paintings. It is of a gigantic blue morpho from South America, an iridescent splendour of turquoise, indigo, cerulean, aquamarine and violet. Then she goes on to tell me about a recent trip she took to Costa Rica with her daughter Lara, of how kind and warm the people were, and the incredible wildlife. "And the birds they have in that part of the world, especially the hummingbirds. Soon, I am going to start painting them. They are so marvelously beautiful..."
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