"My interest in butterflies really had its start with Emily, when she was bringing books home from the library. She picked out one book of butterflies from all over the world, full of the most amazing colour photographs, and soon I began to bribe her with little treats and favours and suchlike to keep picking that book and bringing it back for me. It was as though a whole dimension of beauty was opening up and drawing me in.
"I had already become very spiritual, thanks to the AA program. I had begun taking long solitary walks in the country, or at least on the commons, or by the river. The healing power of nature became for me also a divine presence that was somehow made further real and perfect in those images of butterflies. So, I began to draw. Clumsily at first, but then using coloured pencils and pens and suchlike, I began to faithfully reproduce a few of those incredibly beautiful buttery images. I eventually started to paint."
Did you have any contact with your sister during that time?
"Never. When my father died I couldn't attend the funeral. I had a dreadful collapse from excessive drinking and was in hospital when they were laying him to rest. Carol never returned my calls, but I did try to see mom as much as she would let me. There was still an awful lot of pain between us. It is very difficult to forgive your husband or your daughter for cheating on you I suppose and she was none too pleased that I finally went public about it, Typical British conservative thinking. Pretend it doesn't east, ignore the problem, and instead of speaking openly and reconciling avoid all contact. No one wanted to acknowledge that I was the real victim here, and so they completely denied the existence of my pain and suffering. Public exposure, for them, was the ultimate insult. How dare I!"
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