The Peacock 714

"One other piece of news", says Melissa, pausing at the kitchen doorway.  "I got a phone call from Tristan's nom.  She wants to come over here tomorrow morning.  Apparently, her son left his teddy bear behind.  Jenn says she's already located it.  She also wants to stay and talk to us, that she has a whole bunch of questions."

"Aw, how sweet", says Carl in a mock nursery little voicy-poo.  "The little boy forgot his wittle teddy bear and mommy is coming over to get it for him.  Aw, isn't that 'tweet."

"Carl", says Melissa flatly, "It's past your bedtime."

"Nighty-night, sister dearest", he says as we all follow her out of the kitchen and Carl turns off the light.  Quietly we three ascend the grand staircase, then the stairs up to the attic.  As Carl pauses by his borrowed room, he says, "Anyone for a nightcap?"

"What did you have in mind?" says Francois smiling.

"I smuggled up a big bag of potato chips earlier.  Anyone still hungry?"

"Nope. Bedtime." says Francois.

"Ditto", I agree.

"Goodnight. " Carl says, grinning.  "Party-poopers."

"Good night, party boy", says François.

"Goodnight", I concur, swiftly and quietly closing behind me the door of what was once Carl's boyhood room...

The Peacock 713

 "Your mom sounds like a real piece of work", say I.

"We don't know what happened to her over the years in Switzerland", says Carl, "But she seems to have changed, and not for the better."

"Shrill, rightwing and controlling", says Melissa.  "Anyway you guys, thanks for the cheese and crackers, and I should be getting off to bed."

"Since we're up a bit late, maybe we could have breakfast later, at nine," says Carl.

"Eight thirty", says Melissa.  "We've got the health nurse coming at ten.  Anyway, it'll be nothing fancy, just cereal and toast."

"I'm ready to turn in", says Glen, heading towards the other wing of the house.  "Thanks you guys.  I mean it."

"With pleasure", says Carl, who approaches him and gives him a big hug.  Then Carl turns to me and says, "I'm sleeping in your part of the house tonight."

"Boy's club?" says Melissa sourly.

"Yep", says her brother, as he puts the food away, places the glasses and plates in the sink...

"

The Peacock 712

 "Did Mom say anything about Robert", says Carl, now sounding really worried.

"I told her what happened.  She was appalled, and insists that he be invited back to the house.  I told her that without an apology to Francois and a true display of open repentance that he will not be welcome here again.  Then she really started to bare her fangs."

"Oh no.  What did she say?"

"I'm not sure if it would be appropriate to repeat right now, because this could really be hurtful to you, Francois."

"Fear not, Melissa", says Francois.  I am an adult."

"Okay.  here goes.  Mom said, and I will not repeat verbatim but she did use the n word, but that she did not want politically correct propaganda disgracing the work of the gospel.  That was when I started yelling."

"Mel, do you really think we should let her stay here?"

"Well, she is our mother, after all.  The only one we have."

"When she arrives, then, we are both going to have to talk to her right away, to tell her the birds and the bees."

"In private."

"Not in private.  She is going to have to face Francois and all the rest of us here in this house."

"If that happens, she will be on the next plane back to Zurich."

"So be it", says Carl.

"Yes, amen."

The Peacock 711

 "What exactly is up?" he says.

"I was just on Skype with her, which is why I'm still awake.  She is planning on bringing with her two of her acolytes from Switzerland. She didn't say who, but I told her that if that is her plan, then she should just stay in Switzerland.  We got into quite a fight about it.

"You stood up to her?" says Carl, incredulous.

"I am sick and tired of being that woman's puppet.  Carl, these last few days have been quite an eye opener for me, but among other things, we have to start putting a stop on Mother.  She will only respond to brute force, I'm afraid."

"You don't know how relieved I am to hear you say that, Mel."

"She has gotten away with far too much."

"So what did she say?"

"She started yelling and screaming and threatening, but I just told her that if she does not come alone, then not to consider herself welcome here."

"She is determined to take over, as usual."

"I did remind her that this house is in your name, and that what you say goes, so she will have to reckon with her dear little son."

"With help from her dear little daughter."

"That is already implied.  What wonderful cheese..."

The Peacock 710

 "Where is your sister now", says Francisco.

"Funny, I was just on the phone with her today.  We just resumed contact yesterday.  My first act of celebration with the banishment of Doug has been to re-establish contact with my sister.  and it is going so well.  She says she understands completely what was done to me, and she is going to come and visit me here in the next week or so.  I have really missed her.  And we're the only ones left, so we just have each other."

"I don't imagine we will be hearing from Doug again, anyway", says Carl.  "And as far as Melissa and I are both concerned, he is permanently banned from here.  There is only one problem."

"Mother", says Melissa's voice as she comes into the kitchen.  She is wearing a long magenta house coat, tied snugly at the waste, her hair hanging loosely over her shoulders.  "Why are you guys still up?"

"I was about to ask you the same question", says Carl.

"For a snack, and hey, cheese and crackers, don't mind if I do."  As she sits  down with us and cuts herself a slice of cheddar, she adds,"We don't know what to expect from Mother, Carl.  I am really afraid she us going to try to reinstate Griffin, and if he's back in the picture then we might not have seen the last of Doug."

"Isn't it time, Melissa, that you and I both took a united stand against our mother?" says Carfl.

"I exactly agree", says his sister, chewing now on a Breton, and that is exactly what we are going to do.  But here I have the latest about Mom..."

The Peacock 709

 "How about your mom?" says Carl.  Is she with us still?"

"She passed away just over a year ago", says Glen.

"I'm so sorry to hear that."

"She was ninety.  Her time had come."  Then Glen pauses, as though trying not to give voice to whichever words are already starting to fill his mouth along with the cheese and crackers he is devouring with gusto.  Suddenly he says, his voice almost trembling, "Doug wouldn't let me attend her funeral."

"What?" says Francois.

"He ordered me.  I don't suppose you or the others heard  anything.  One of his methods of control was by enforcing secrecy.  But he said that if I left the house here for my mother's funeral, then I would be banished from the community.  That I had to choose between God's work and my mother."

"That is simply outrageous!" says Carl.

"And then he forbade me to have any contact with my sister, Marlene, who is the only family I have left..."

The Peacock 708

 "Where did you go?" says Carl.

"I went to live with my mother for a few years in Victoria, about seven, I think, then I just really wanted to be free and alone again, so I returned to Vancouver, not sure where I was going, and then I ended up staying in Sheila's house with her and her son, Michael."

"Our Sheila and Michael."

"That's right.  And then it was the Community of the Transfiguration back on the Island, and now I'm here with you guys."

"How did you come to know Sheila?"

"I was couch surfing with Pierre, he had been Stephen's boyfriend up until when he died.  It turned out that he was friends with Michael.  It was kind of uncomfortable for Pierre because he still had feelings for me that I wasn't prepared to reciprocate, so Michael invited me to stay with him and his mom.

"Are you and Pierre still in touch?"

"No, we haven't spoken for almost twenty years.  I really don't know where he is now, or how he is..."

The Peacock 707

 "And it all developed from there?" say I.

"Pretty much.  I was running into difficulties with some neighbours where I lived, I had been living some years in an apartment on the top floor of an old house in East Vancouver, then a couple of coke dealers who were also pimps moved in, and the noise, the parties and their threats and violence became too much.  My mom asked me to come stay with her again, but Pamela had already beaten her to the draw.  Pamela was the lady who had the big mansion.  Plus, I felt called to stay with Stephen and his partner, Pierre, to help out.  Pierre didn't have AIDS, but he felt completely lost in space about giving Stephen the support he needed, and I already had some background and experience in caregiving.  So, I was there, then Margery moved in.

"Margery?"

"Also known as the Death Watch Lady.  A dear friend skilled in palliative care.  Then Martin, a young guy with HIV came to live with us, followed by Jason, and Paul.  Then a couple of more caregivers came and joined us.  Then came Michael, or Father Michael, the priest who was Stephen's biological father, and soon we were quite the full household.  There was also a strong, powerful sense of  God's presence in the place, and soon, people were refusing treatment and medications outside of pain relief, because there was this burgeoning collective desire that they all shared to come home to Jesus as soon as they possibly could.  Then the media caught on, and Persimmon Carlisle, who hosted a controversial news program, blew the lid off everything, and thanks to her coverage and publicity the health department intervened, shut the place down, and sent evryone into hospitals and other care facilities..."

The Peacock 706

 "We were living in a huge mansion in Shaughnessy", says Glen, then smiling glibly, adds, "I seem to have a tendency for living in mansions.  It was turned into a de facto AIDS hospice, and I was one of several people who lived there and served."

"That place was in the news for a while", say I.

"It became quite a scandal", says Glen.  ""Our beginnings were innocent enough.   This wealthy woman, British, a recent widow, felt called by God to open her home to the dying."

"Very noble of her", says Francois.

"Stephen, or Tanya, was her biological son, whom she abandoned in the BC wilderness.  He had AIDS and this was her atonement."

"Curiouser and curiouser", says Carl.  "There must be a story there."

"Always a journalist", says Francois, rolling his eyes.

"Back in the early sixties, she had an affair with a young Anglican priest in a small town near Kamloops.  She was visiting friends while her much older husband was on a very extended business trip.  Apparently it was a deal selling arms to the white Afrikaner forces in then apartheid South Africa."

"Interestinger and interestinger", says Carl, grinning.

"She gave birth in a cabin in the sticks with help from a native midwife, to whom she gave her child and was allegedly adopted by the band, but Stephen went from foster home to foster home and ended up hooking on the streets dressed as Tanya.  They met in a coffee shop, then one thing led to another.  Her husband was, at the time dying.  And shortly after he ended up living with her in her mansion..."

"

The Peacock 705

 "So, Christopher", says Glen, "Tell me more about your friend."

"Kenny?  He worked the streets for a number of years as a woman,  Went by the name Cassandra."

Glen does a double take.  "Cassandra?  I might have known her.  Medium length chestnut hair.  Often wore a dark blue cocktail dress at work, with a slit up the side?"

"That would be her."

"How did you end up knowing her?"  And I know that Glen is trying not to emphasize the how did YOU end up knowing HER? but I still detect it in his tone.

"Long story.  Basically, my dad, who was an Anglican priest, rescued him from the street and he lived with us for his last few years.  We all became very close.  How did you know Kenny, Glen?" say I by way of retaliation.

"He was a friend of Stephen's.  Stephen was a friend who worked as a transvestite hooker named Tanya.

"I heard of her, or him, or them.  How did you know Stephen, or Tanya", I reply, almost being afraid to find out.

"He adopted me in the eighties, and we were close friends.  I was with him when he died thirty years ago from AIDS..."

The Peacock 704

 "What have you guys been up to?" Glen asks.

"We were up in Chris's room while he read to us from his dead friend's journal", says Carl.

"that sounds very intriguing.  What became of your friend?"

"he died almost three decades ago", say I, "Likely suicide, but we don't know for sure.  So we're looking at his diary to see if there are any clues."

"I'm so sorry", says Glen.  "Any leads so far."

"We do have a suspect", says Francois, "But know one knows what happened to him.  He might even have died with Christopher's friend."

"We can't know that for sure", says Carl.

"That sounds really interesting", says Glen, biting into a piece of cheese.

"what have you been up to this evening?" says Carl.

"Oh, this and that.  I was just out for a long walk in the dark.  Trying to process everything, things have been so intense around here lately.  Then when I got back I had a good talk with Aaron.  He thinks I should consider going back to Vancouver with some of you, that I have to start facing real life again.  He's right, you know, I have I think an escapist gene in my system, and Aaron is pretty good at confronting me about stuff."

"He has an excellent bullshit monitor", says Carl.  "In fact, sometimes he's terrifying."

"You can sure say that again."

"Mm. once is enough methinks..."

"

The Peacock 703

 "You don't think", says Carl

"That he might have killed Kenny?" say I.  "Anything's possible, but I would say that is plausible."

"You're going on Skype with your ex-brother-in-law tomorrow.   He might know something.  Ask him"

"I'm going to."

"Oh, hi."

Glen comes into the kitchen, looking a little bit tired and lost.

"Oh, hi", he says.  I thought I heard some voices down here.  I was just up reading, so I thought I'd come down and say good night to everyone."

"Are we disturbing you?" says Francois.

"Oh, not at all."

"Help yourself to some cheese and crackers", says Carl, "before we eat it all."

"Don't mind if I do", he says, pulling up a chair.

"Here", says Francois, getting up, and winking at Carl, "let me get you a plate."

The Peacock 702

 "Long story short, they did apprehend Lindstrom, and he ended up in a mental hospital.  It's a facility on the campus.  Kenny and I went to visit him a few times, and it was, shall we say, pretty bizarre.  This guy was dressed in yellow hospital pyjamas and hardly interacted with us.  He would simply stare quietly into space, sometimes hum, or mutter to himself, but it really was as if we weren't even there.  Then one day, just before Christmas, Kenny said he was going to see Lindstrom alone.  I wasn't sure if it was a good idea, but he insisted.  That was when they both disappeared."

"Oh, really?" says Carl, nibbling on a cracker.

"Two days later, Kenny's body was found washed up on Ambleside beach.  He had apparently jumped from the Lion's Gate Bridge, though that theory is questionable.  There was evidence of blunt force trauma on his skull."

"What about Lindstrom?"

"They never found him..."

The Peacock 701

 "Let's go home, said Kenny to me, gently touching my arm.  I still felt paralyzed, hardly able to move.  Something really powerful had overwhelmed me through this guy's touch, and for a while, Kenny and I walked together in silence, more or less in the direction of the house.  We were home in about twenty minutes, and after taking off our coats and shoes, we went straight to the kitchen.  Dad was seated there, reading a newspaper and drinking tea.  We joined him.  Looking up at both of us, he said only, What happened, you look like you just saw something incredibly monstrous.  I told him bout Lindstrom, describing him carefully.  Then Dad said that he had seen him recently in the driveway, asking for Kenny, at which time we both looked together at Kenny for an explanation.  He replied, he thinks he's my father and will not leave me alone.  Isn't he rather on the young side to have sired you, my father said.  My point exactly, said Kenny.  This guy is truly a mental case.  Dad called the police...

The Peacock700

 Carl has also produced a big green bottle of San Pellegrino mineral water and three glasses.  I am just gathering my thoughts.  This is not easy to remember, but I think I have a fairly decent recall of what happened.  It was a long time ago, almost three decades.

"I'm not sure how trustworthy my memory is going to be.  It was a long time ago.  But we were closing.  It was eight in the evening, and I saw him seated at a table near the door.  My coworker, Janice, had already left, and except for Lindstrom, if it was Lindstrom, I was alone.  I was just putting on my coat, and he was still there, seated quite comfortably, and staring into space.  I told him we're closed now.  He didn't appear to notice me.  Sir, I said, standing over him, the café is closed.  I'm locking up and going home, and you can't stay here.  Then, he replied, I shall walk with you.  Preferring to avoid conflict,  I opened the door, and waited as Lindstrom got up to join me.  I locked the door, then he motioned to his left and said, This way.  I said, no, I am going this way, and just as I tried to walk away, I felt his very strong hand grip my shoulder.  I tried, but could not pull away from him.  I was paralyzed.  He stood and stared at me intently, still holding me by the shoulder.  I could neither move nor speak.  He kept staring as though peering right into my deepest soul.  It was then that I heard someone shout, Chris!.  It  was Kenny.  Then he told Lindstrom to let me go.  He didn't budge, so Kenny launched into his Harriet voice, hey big handsome Nordic studly, don't damage my little brother or you get nothing tonight.  Lindstrom lifted his hand from my shoulder, then walked away, and Kenny stood there waiting until he was out of sight...

The Peacock 699

 The house is dark and silent throughout.  Everyone has gone up to bed already.  Carl seems to have an instinctive feel for all the rooms and passageways and stairs we have to negotiate in the dark, and Francois and I both follow very closely behind.  In the kitchen, be both sit down at the table while Carl goes through the pantry and fridge for a couple of boxes of Breton crackers and a lovely wedge of vintage cheddar.

"What?" says Francois in mock indignation.  "No plates?"

"You know where they are", says Carl as he rips open the first box of crackers.

Francois calls his bluff and gets up and returns with three white plates with gold rims.  "Anything to drink?"

"It worked", says Carl, chuckling.

"Oh, fuck off and cut me some cheese, big guy", says Francois, smiling.

"Your wish is my command, padre."  Then turning to me, he says, "By the way, that was quite a read you treated us to tonight, Chris."

"I am every bit as amazed as you are", say I.

"You mean to say that you had no idea?  None at all?"

"Wait a minute", say I just before taking my first bite of cracker.  I do recall something.  At the café where I worked, just a few nights before he died..."

The Peacock 698

 "What do you say we call it a night?" say I, glancing furtively at the three soiled dinner plates and cutlery on the tray on top of the desk.

"Anyone feel like a snack?" says Carl.

"What do you have in mind?" says Francois.  "Yikes, it's almost eleven."

"Cheese and crackers downstairs?"

"Not a bad idea", say I, still feeling wide awake and a bit peckish for some reason.  "Just for a couple of minutes anyway."

Carl picks up the tray with the dirty plates and leads us to the door.  "You know", he says, "We're due for another reading of Cosme's journal.  Maybe Jesús and Aaron arre still around"...

"Not at this hour", says Francois, as we all move into the corridor.  "It's late and almost past our bedtime...."

The Peacock 697

 "Lindstrom sounds a lot like Adam", says Francois.

"You mean they're both nephilim."

"No, I mean they're both batshit crazy."

"Is that what it really is?" say I, rather oblivious now to the half empty bag of chocolate chips sitting deflated and neglected and ignored next to me on the bed.

"What else could it be?" says Francois.

I reach for the chocolate chips and absentmindedly dig in my hand.  They no longer taste so nice, a little strong and harsh now that the thrill is gone.

"Well", say I, "Then I also must be batshit crazy."

"Francois", says Carl.  "Congratulations.  You are the only sane person in the room."

"What else could it be?" says Francois.

"Maybe the line between mental illness and spiritual realities is a lot more blurred than we would like it to be..."

The Peacock 696

 "One more, please", says Carl.

"Alright, but then we're  done", say I.  "Next day, October 21.

"I saw him again.  and now this is all starting to make sense.  And I am scared shitless.  He was waiting for me, just in front of the house.  I was on my way home from work, and he just said, please can we walk together for a while.  I have things to tell you.

I have been following you all this time, because you have knowledge that was imparted to you at birth, and we have to bring it forth in you.  This is why your life took a self-destructive direction for so many years,  You have been running from your calling, you have been fleeing from your true nature.  You are my son, but I cannot tell you more, because I also have forgotten.  This has been my fate, the fate of many of my companions here.  Our memory of what we are and where we are from, has limits, and we often slip in and out of this.  When I have been remembering, I have been trying to contact you, to also summon you to your true essence, but I am little help, I'm afraid, because I am also often lost and confused.  If you and I can dwell together for a while, then we can also help each other recover, but there is only a small window of time for this, because already I am starting to fade again...

This was when Lindstrom suddenly stopped talking,  He looked suddenly dazed and lost, looked at me oddly, then turned around and walked away from me...

The Peacock 695

 "Here's October 20", say I.

"What a day.  I think I'm finally feeling a little more together after yesterday.  Still can't figure it out.  Vince says he has never seen anything like it.  He actually had the foresight to record everything and I just replayed it a couple of times,.  He had me under hypnosis, second tine, and I still don't remember what happened.  but this is what I said, or what came out of my mouth while I was under.

This is my son and my servant through whom I am speaking.  You do not and cannot know me.  My provenance is not a place, nor a time, but perhaps what you would call a dimension.  We walk among you, and we watch, monitor and supervise you  You are our children and we are your servants, and you have made a dangerous mess of what we have given you, and now we are calling you to account  You do not know who you are, and if you knew you would not be able to bear it.  You are not merely highly intelligent simians, but the product of a process of a highly selective breeding that happened before what you call time.

You, humans, homo sapiens sapiens have the highest calling on this planet and one of the highest in your known universe, and you have fallen from so great a height that very few will ever be restored to your original purity.  And so shall many perish.  The catastrophe that is enveloping this planet, this most beautiful jewel in the cosmos, will soon work its tragic end.  many will perish, and the few that survive will reconnect with their ancestral calling and will become the instruments of healing and recovery for your earth, to which you were all originally called."

The Peacock 694

 "But what about when your mother comes?" say I.

"My point exactly.  It seems to look like she is wanting to set up permanent residence here", says Carl.  "Hey you guys, how about living with me in Vancouver.  We can get a big lovely house in Shaughnessy and set up an urban community together."

"What about your sister?" says Francois.

"She'll stay here with Mom.  She is a devoted daughter, you know."

"You really want to get away from her", says Francois.

"My mother or Melissa?"

"Both?" I ask.

"You know, I have never lived away from my sister.  And I'm almost forty."

"What do you reckon will happen to the big house here?" I ask.

"Mom can take over with Melissa for all I care.  I just don't want to fight with her any more.  I imagine some of the others will also want to stay, so they won't be too lonely.  Hey, do you want to read another page or two, or are we done?"

"It's ten thirty now.  How about one more entry, and we can call it a night", say I

The Peacock 693

 "She might know something", says Carl.  "Are you still in touch?"

"With Greta, no.  But her younger brother looked me up a few days ago, and we visited on Skype.  In fact, we're supposed to talk again tomorrow morning."

"Any idea of why he suddenly wants to talk to you?" says Francois.

"He is set to start postgraduate work at UBC this September and has asked if he could stay with me.  I've said yes, but I still don't know what I'm going to be doing."

"When is he coming?" says Carl, looking a bit worried.

"He wants to come as soon as possible, but I am asking him to wait until July, because I think I'm going to need time to figure out my future here with you guys."

"Or there in Vancouver with you guys", says Carl.  "I'm seriously contemplating buying a place in Vancouver.  A big house.  What do you think?"

"Well", says Francois, "You are pretty loaded."

"Flattery will get you nowhere, you big handsome boy!"

The Peacock 692

 "And what was this about him being Kenny's father?" say I.  "Really strange, because they would have been around the same age."

"Ever hear of the Nephilim?" says Carl.

"They were...?" says Francois.

"They were hybrids of angels and human beings that apparently were descended from angelic visitors before the Flood."

"And", says Francois, "They were very tall. They were giants."

"Well, Kenny", say I, "Was no nepha whatchamacallit.  He was normal height.  And I don't think Lindstrom was any angel."

"Do you think the guy in the tow photographs was really the same as the guy you saw more than twenty years ago?" says Francois.

They might have just been doppelgangers", says Carl, "You're right, it's better that we keep rational heads about all this.  But what a humdinger of a story, eh?"

"I want to know two things" say I.  "What, if anything did this guy Lindstrom have to do with Kenny's death.  And what is my ex-wife's role in this, since she seemed to also know about him.."

The Peacock 691

 "That is so creepy", say I.  "Do you think Lindstrom had anything to do with your father's death."

"There seems to be some kind of gathering evidence."

"What about, what's his name, that Spanish guy?" says Francois, digging again into the bag of chocolate chips.  He proffers Carl the bag, who lightly shakes his head.

"Cosme", say I.

"That's right", says Carl. "Because he saw that tall blonde guy several times."

"But how old would he have been?""say I.

"There is that", says Carl.

"That was back in the sixties.  And he probably would have been in his thirties.  Your father would have died more than twenty years ago, just five years after Kenny died, so by then he would have been at least sixty."

"That guy Melissa and I saw would not have been more than thirty, max."

"Unless he was immortal", say I.

"He probably just had a good plastic surgeon", says Francois with a wry smile...

The Peacock 690

 "Dad did not want us, Melissa and I, to see this guy.  He would always send us packing up to our rooms when Lindstrom came over, but we both spied on them, and I remember him clearly."

"Did you overhear their conversations?" says Francois.  

"They talked about elders and meetings elsewhere on the property.  Lindstrom also, in his last couple of visits, seemed decidedly displeased with Dad, and I even heard him scold him for not being cooperative.  His very last visit happened the day before Dad shot himself.  He told him there were consequences and Dad, who had been drinking , started yelling and swearing at him and ordered him off the property.  And that's when the most chilling thing happened."

"What happened?" say I.

"Lindstrom, coolly and calmly told Dad, that his childish tantrums were not going to change anything, his destiny was already set, and that he should prepare for his destiny.  It was as though he simply did not have emotions.  Kind of like Mr. Spock from Star Trek, but way better looking and with normal ears..."

The Peacock 689

 "So that's Lindstrom", say I, staring hard at the two photos.  He is so good-looking as to appear artificially good-looking, like the work of an extremely talented cosmetic surgeon.  I have never in my life seen such perfect everything.  

"Show us", says Carl and I pass him the photos, which he studies intently with Francois.  Then Carl's expression changes and he appears to have gone pale.

"Something wrong?" I ask.

"Something very wrong", he says, "Very very wrong."

"What is it?"

"I know this guy."

"What?"

"He used to come here to visit my dad, years ago, when I was still a teenager.  Oh my God, this does not look good at all..."

The Peacock 688

 October 15.  Well I did it.  Now I have concrete evidence.  I managed to take Lindstrom's photo, and now I have concrete evidence to show Vince that this has not been a set of hallucinations.  I just decided to pack my camera with me next time I was downtown, and as luck had it, there he was again at Hastings and Granville, as though expecting me.  I crossed over to see him, camera in hand, and before he could back away, I already took two shots of him, then he looked at me in a way I could only say was menacing, so Harriet took over, and I said to him in Harriet voice, Why hi there my big gorgeous alien daddykins, how about a nice big smile, honey, can you say, suck my dick honey, and then he just stood there, helpless, his hands slack, at his side, and I took two more of him, then ran off and boarded the first bus home.  How strange that the first two photos didn't turn out, in fact, he wasn't even in them, but when Harriet took over, well, there he is, tall handsome and blonde with a lost and helpless look on his face and his arms slack at his side."

"Too bad we can't see the photos", says Carl.

"Wait a minute", and I start flipping the pages, and out fall two photographs.  Each portraying a tall very handsome blonde man who could only be Lindstrom.

The Peacock 687

 "This is better than Stephen King", says Carl.

"Decidedly", I concur.

"Read some more?" says Francois."

"Okay", say I.  "Next entry.  October 12, four days later.  Ready?"

"So much for hypnosis.  I spent an hour in that comfy chair in the Psychiatrists' office.  We did our first session of hypnotherapy, and nothing.  Zero.  One big fat blank.  In fact, I fell asleep in the chair, and didn't even dream.  He seemed very disappointed, and so am I.  But relieved actually.  He actually has the nerve to call me one of the most resistant to therapy patients he has ever dealt with.  He has also complimented me on my very strong sense of self.  Or, whatever.   I even suggested to him that my having a strong sense of self might be just the ticket for making me resistant to therapy, to which Vince replied, 'Touché!'  I have told him everything I  can remember about Lindstrom, and he is completely baffled, as am I.  He suggested calling the police, and this is something I haven't ruled out, except for one little detail.  I ran into so much grief from those fucking pigs when I was Cassandra that I am not prepared yet to repeat the trauma, especially about something so woo-woo and weird as this Lindstrom from outer space who says he's my dad.  Vince, is wondering if he could just be a delusion, a kind of projection, and I am not ruling that out either.  Right now, I am not prepared to rule out anything...

The Peacock 686

 Unfortunately, that's almost all I remember.  I think we were seated in elegant armchairs in a kind of elegant reception room or library.  There was a view from the window of one of the most incredibly starry skies I have ever seen.  I think we were sipping brandy from elegant snifters.  He gestured, pointing to a particular cluster of stars and said that that was his home.  Then he looked at me very fixedly and said, "You are my child, and I have come to take you home with me."  Next thing I knew I was standing at the bus stop, then got on the UBC bus in order to get home.  I think it was already pretty late, and when I got home it was already after one am.

The next day, after closing the shop, I took the bus downtown.  I was sure I remembered the building and there it was.  I went inside and took the elevator to the top floor.  It opened onto a lobby, where I was sure was the mansion penthouse of Lindstrom.  There was a young woman at the reception desk.  It was a lawyers office, and the reception told me they were closed now.  I went home, more confused than ever...