The Peacock 803

 He led me up to the third floor, which was the garret.  We went down one corridor, then another.  I mentioned that place is huge and sprawling.  He opened a door for me and led me in.  It was a medium size, simple bedroom, with a single bed covered in a white counterpane, a desk and chair and a comfy chair in a corner,  I was suddenly so tired as to be quite overcome with sleep.  The boy helped me sit on the bed, then helped me undress to my shorts,  He pulled back the covers and helped me settle, then tucked me in.  As he went to the door he said that I would have difficulty waking, since I am very tired, but that he would come for me at the time of my waking.  I asked him to tell me his name.  He replied, "I am the Name."  I asked him again, and he replied again, "I am the Name." Then I fell into a deep, long and dreamless sleep.

The Peacock 802

 That was when this incredibly beautiful boy suddenly appeared.  He couldn't have been more than sixteen.  Welcome, he said to me, holding out both his hands in welcome.  He was very simply dressed, jeans and a white collarless shirt.  He looked rather like a younger version of me, but way more beautiful.  I placed both my hands in his, then he led me gently by the arm to the big mansion.  We sat down at a table in the dining room, a very sumptuous and elegant place and huge, where there was waiting for me a plate of bread and cheese, some fruit, a couple of oranges, an apple and some grapes, and a small glass of wine.  It was all incredibly delicious.  The boy sat with me at the table, quietly watching as I ate. We never spoke once to each other, but he appeared to be communicating to me telepathically.  He simply said that he was guardian and lord of this place, that it was a portal between dimensions, and that they had rescued me just in  the nick of time, as I was about to commit some particularly costly errors that would have  created a butterfly effect of unparalleled global devastation.  Then he spoke the first words since he greeted me.  It is time for you to sleep.  Let me lead you up to your bedroom...

The Peacock 801

 It was just a skiff with an outboard motor.  I could hardly see the guy operating it.  He was wearing a hoody that also obscured his face.  He gestured at me to get on board.  I didn't feel I had any choice but to obey, so we went on this short boat ride, maybe half an hour an we docked on the beach of this island.  It was totally dark, but he pointed to me a clearing with a path going uphill.  I felt I had no option but to go.  So I climbed for maybe another half hour or so.  It was steep in places, and very dark, and I stumbled a few times, partly because I was still rather drunk.  I came out onto another clearing, and noticed there were lights on somewhere and then I saw it.  A mansion, somewhat bigger and grander than the one we are living in here.  There was a pool with a fountain.  I could just barely make out the pillar with the waterspout in the form of  gothic medieval gargoyle, and water was trickling from its mouth.  I felt strongly inclined to dip my hand into the pool and drink some of the water.  It did taste cool and very fresh.  I know now, that that was when I lost my memory.

The Peacock 800

 "The thing is, if I don't tell it now, I could forget and not be able to recover anything.  At least now I have witnesses.  Let's see, where to begin.  Yes, we were out on this week long drunk in Victoria, then in a gay bar downtown this tall super handsome blonde guy picks me up and I end up going for a ride with him in his car.  I assumed we were going back to his place, but we kept driving and driving, well into Saanich, almost as far as Sydney, then he turned on a side road.  I began to get really nervous.  You see, we had neither of us uttered a single word to each other all through the drive.  Then we went through some forest, and finally stopped at a beach somewhere.  He got out of the car, then opened my door, and I got out as well.  Of course, I was starting to wonder if he was some kind of psycho murderer.  We walked together to the water's edge where with his hand he made a kind of strange signal.  Then he walked back to the car.  I heard the door slam and the motor starting and he drove away.  I really didn't know what to do, but I just stood there at the water's edge, as though completely frozen.  Then I noticed something like a boat appear coming towards me..."

The Peacock 799

 My first question about Jason right now is, is he simply staging this.  Being dramatic.  Getting to be centre stage as is his wont.  This time it is hard to say.  He is noticeably pale, his eyes wide and frightened.  He appears to be seeing something as though for the very first time, and it also appears to be scaring the crap out of him.

"What is it, Adam?" says Carl in a voice that clearly cares very deeply.

He appears to be crying and, yes, there are tears streaming down his cheeks.

"Oh my god", he keeps saying, shaking his head over and over, "Oh my god...oh my god...oh my god....

"Jason, what is it, please", says Lazarus, his hand on his upper back.  "You can tell us.  You can tell me." His voice is very soft and low, as though soothing a hurt and frightened child.

Jason struggles to compose himself, then gasps in a barely audible croak, "I remember now.  I remember.  I remember everything that happened.  Oh my god, this is going to be hard."

""You don't have to tell us right now", says Carl, "Not if you don't feel ready or up to it."

"I have to tell you.  Now.  Right now.  Everything.  I have to tell you everything..."

The Peacock 798

 "As the newcomer here", says Amanda, "I was wondering if someone could give a little background."

"I concur", says Tommy.  "This is all getting a little too curious."

"I can fill in a few blanks", says Michael.  "Some of us here, Adam, or Jason should I say, Lazarus, me, Matthew, Sheila and Glen were all together in a similar kind of community on Vancouver Island, in Saanich near Victoria.  We were called the Community of the Transfiguration.  The buildings and grounds were a former convent, then it was ceded over to the community's founder, Chris, and we had to leave about ten years ago because the land had been sold for development and we had nowhere else to go.  There is apparently a mysterious, uncharted island nearby.   No one seems to know it exists, which is itself quite perplexing, but apparently, if this place exists, then it is also the location of yet another huge mansion.  But that other place seems to be a portal to another dimension.  I wish I could say more, but apparently Adam, or Jason, was possibly stranded there for a while.  I wish I could say more, but that's about all any of us know about the place.  We have in the past hosted people who had been there, but for the most part, their memories had been erased, and they really couldn't tell us anything, apart from dreams that kept repeating on them, and each one was having the same kind of dream.  Chris, the leader of our community, appeared to know more about the place, possibly a lot more, but he had been sworn to secrecy, and no one could pry from him one single word about the place.

"Oh my God", says Jason.  Oh...My....God!"

The Peacock 797

 What I still cannot understand is what happened to me during my two lost weeks.  Outside of the dreams, and they still repeat on me from time to time, I have absolutely no recall."

"You mentioned you were in a mansion", says Carl.

"We heard similar from Peter, that guy who stayed with us overnight", says Matthew.  I think you met him.

"I did, actually", says Jason, formerly Adam.

"Did you have a chance to talk to him" says Michael.

"He only said one thing to me, just before he left.  He said, one day you will remember what happened."

"And nothing else?" says Carl.

"And nothing else."

The Peacock 796

 "What do you mean, not exactly."

"I was in a dazed and disoriented state", says Adam.  "Chris from the community rescued me from the beach and brought me back with him.  And I haven't lied about anything else.  I was also in a very heightened state, and the presence of God was very real for me at that time.. And I did honestly believe at the time that my name was Adam, and that my mother was a prima ballerina with the Kírov, and we escaped to London where I was raised and educated.  My Shakespearian training taught me very well how to fake it, except at the time I didn't believe I was faking it.  It was all a muddle.  But it got you here with us, Matthew and there could have been for you worse outcomes."

"And better", he replies, "but on the whole, I am grateful for having landed here."

The Peacock 795

 Nobody seems to know what to do with this new information.  I decide to try to prolong the conversation, if only to help the others feel a little more comfortable.

"By the way", say I, "You were a fabulous Romeo."

"Thank you.  We did get good reviews."

"Why didn't you stay in acting?"

"It got to be too much, emotionally and psychologically.  You see, I did method acting rather too well, and often completely lost my identity in the character I was playing.  For me, as Romeo, it was particularly dangerous, because I am queer and Romeo is not, and in high school I had several girlfriends in order to cope and stay hidden, and that was not a good idea either because it really messed with my identity.  Anyway, after the show closed, I had multiple triggers, then went to Victoria where I went on a week long debauch with a bunch of gay actors."

"And that was when you found yourself waking up on the beach a couple of weeks later with those Faberge eggs?" says Matthew.

"Exactly."

"And you were just acting the part then when you came into my shop with those eggs?"

"Not exactly..."

The Peacock 794

 Jason", says Lazarus.  "I happen to know for a fact that you have not been a well man.  You could not have been faking everything."

"And I wasn't, Sable, at least not everything.  It is true, I haven't been well.  And at times I did lose consciousness, following my flights of fantasy.  But I do owe you one little confession.  When I was really sick, and I saw how much care and love you poured out on me in order to support me through everything, well, I did not want to lose you.  You are the first, and I think only person in the world, who has ever loved me unconditionally.  You are the only man who has loved me without expecting me to have sex with him in return, which is to say, dear Sable, that you are the only man who has ever loved me."

"Jason, I don't really know how to  answer that.  But you have never made any demands of me either.  I can't begin to tell you how fortunate I have felt knowing you.  Nothing has changed."  

"Except that now you both have an audience", says Michael.  "Lazarus, have you always known Adam as Jason?"

"Since the very beginning.  It was our secret.  We are both guilty..."

The Peacock 793

 "Your full name is Jason Egerton and you played the leading role in Romeo and Juliet in Vancouver twenty-three years ago."

"Busted", he says, smiling directly at me.

"Wait a minute", says Matthew, annoyed and perplexed, "wait a minute, Adam, because I still know you as Adam.  What do you mean you don't know how you got the faberge eggs.  I made a small fortune off their sale, and now I could be in really big trouble if they are contraband. 

"I was not making up the part about finding them on the beach next to me when I woke up."

"But the question is", says Michael, clearly wanting to support his ex, "How did you end up on that beach."

"I still don't know the answer to that.  I had been on a week long bender with a bunch of other actors in Victoria, and then I must have blacked out.  The fact of the matter is that I lost two weeks.  I have not the faintest idea where I was, except for this recurring dream I kept having about being trapped in a mansion in the wilderness, rather similar to this one, and strange people.  This very old couple, both of them tall, who seemed to have some sense of custodianship over me.  But otherwise, I do not remember.  And I did start to believe that I was thousands of years old and had lived and been in  many diverse periods of world history.  But then it became a kind of game.  I became too ill to work, plus being in the Community of the Transfiguration left me no time to practice my  acting.  But I'm an actor.  I thrive on attention, so I still tried to make a game of it..."

The Peacock 792

 "I have a confession to make, everyone."  Here he pauses as though to create dramatic effect.  And just now, I can see two things about Adam.  One is that he has clearly had some kind of theatrical training and experience.  He appears to be a master of stagecraft with the way he can manipulate us.  The other thing is that he suddenly no longer seems so young.  Still youthful for forty-six, but there I something in his face, his skin, what suggests tiredness and age, plus, I have just noticed gray in his hair.  Or could it be that now that he is about to actually speak the truth about himself, that the magic has ended, the illusion of eternal youth has faded.

"As you can all see, I am completely alert, not in an altered state, I am Jason, the guy you know as Adam.  I have been living a lie, and in order to cover my butt I have been faking this illusion of being an eternal entity.  There is nothing ethereal about me.  I am extremely well read and have an active, perhaps over active imagination.  Plus, I have studied history and classical studies in the university of Toronto.  But never did I know Fanny Mendelssohn  or her kid, nor was I around to hang out with Persephone.  And you, Lazarus", he says turning to his companion, "to you I have been particularly cruel, lying to you and persuading you that you are bonded to a mystic being from other dimensions.  There is nothing mystic or other about me.  Everybody", he says, gathering together the full force of his stagecraft, "I have been lying to all of you, to the entire world.  My mother was not a ballerina with the Kirov.  She is a frustrated now retired accounts payable manager long divorced and living in Don Mills in Metro Toronto, in a small one bedroom apartment.  We talk on Skype every week.  My father is remarried with a couple of kids I've never met, and the Faberge eggs that I gave to you, Matthew, were probably stolen.  I don't know how I got them."

Or he simply doesn't want to tell us.  But now I know Adam, or Jason.  I remember now, twenty-three years ago, at the firehall Theatre, he played the lead role in Romeo and juliet.  He was breathtaking, and now I am going to tell him this...

The Peacock 791

 Suddenly we are all quiet, as if not knowing whether to be embarrassed for him or simply gobsmacked by his audacity.  Lazarus, turns to his companion and says, "Okay, either you're going to tell them, or should I?"

Adam doesn't respond, but simply sits there quiet, looking very frightened right now.

"Who's it going to be, Adam.  Who is going to tell everyone."

Adam stammers, "You tell them, please."

Lazarus clears his throat, as though anticipating having to do something not exactly to his taste.  "Adam has a rare form of schizo-affective disorder.  They're not even sure of the diagnosis because what he presents with is so unusual.  He also has a multiple personality disorder, not to be confused with schizophrenia or schizoaffective, those are totally different gigs.  But anyway, he appears to channel different kinds of beings or entities, though they could all well just be part of his wonderful and fascinating mind.  But one day he was a character in a Greek myth, as we have just heard now, or he was present at the crucifixion of Christ, or he was best friend to Fanny Mendelssohn's son, or pick any one.  When he comes out of it he has forgotten everything, then goes around for the rest of the day in a dazed, tired and disoriented state.  Till it happens again.  And again.  And again."

"Except for one thing", says Adam.  "This time, I haven't forgotten....

The Peacock 790

 "So Demeter, the earth goddess, gave birth to the lovely Persephone, and the joy of her child helped her forget the brutality of being raped by her brother."

"May I continue for a bit?" says Adam.

"Please do", says Carl.

Adam says, "Persephone used to love to sing.  In fact, her voice and her song had a potent magic, and everywhere she stepped, danced and sang, leaves unfurled on naked branches and fragrant flowers opened to the sun.  In fact, so great and intense was Persephone's beauty, that she drew the attention, the envy and the ire of Aphrodite herself.  Worse, Persephone had none of the seductive lust of Aphrodite.  Her beauty was intensified by her innocence and this made her shine more luminously than even the goddess of love herself.  She put a spell on her brother, who as god of death had nothing to do with human love or emotion, but suddenly he became so smitten by the young goddess, that he rode his black chariot drawn by black horses, emerging from out of the ground.  He snatched Persephone, just as I was sitting down with her in a meadow to eat figs from a  nearby tree.  I can still hear her pleading, frightened cries as they disappeared back under the ground...

The Peacock 789

 Now everyone has gathered round the table with us, Carlos, Tommy and Carry joining us.  Carl takes on  a sonorous portentous tone as he opens with:

"Long ago, in ancient prehistory, before there was civilization as anyone knows it, when the forests and valleys of Ancient Greece were populated by spirits, nymphs', dryads and gods and goddesses,there was a young goddess, fruit of the incestuous union between Zeus and his sister Demeter.  There are various versions of how that happened, but all accounts agree on one thing.  Demeter was raped by her brother Zeus.   She did not consent,  he was the king of the gods and goddesses, his word was law, and all beings feminine and masculine were at the mercy of his lust and caprice.  Zeus, the great god, was the prototype for male bisexuality..  One version suggests that both Zeus and Demeter were transformed first into two serpents, but it is more likely that he incarnated as a rampaging bull and forced himself on her.

"Zeus was god of the sky and storms and rain and thunder and lightening.  Demeter was the earth goddess, of nature all living things and the harvest.  Of course there is that archetypal symbolism, the sky pouring down its rain upon the fecund earth, bringing it to life.  But the earth doesn't always say yes...

The Peacock 788

 "Apollo, I would imagine."

"More like Hades."

"Who?"

"God of death and the underworld.  Quite a piece of work."

"And you, Amanda", says Carl, "Would be Aphrodite, the goddess of love."

"That is the name of my store, after all", she says, smiling.

"Did they ever meet?" says Michael, "Aphrodite and Hades, I mean."

"Let me look on my phone", says Carl.  After scrolling for a few seconds, he says, "They were siblings.  And Aphrodite, just to best her big brother, put a love spell on him.  She thought he was lonely down there in hell, and was really the farthest you could imagine from being a chick magnet.  So, he fell ass over teapot in love with none other than the lovely daughter of the earth and harvest goddess, Demeter.  He was in a perpetual swoon over the lovely Persephone, and he was hellbound, pardon the pun, to get under her tunic."

Looking up at the others, Carl says, "Hey, by the way, I know the whole story and it's quite the mythic soap opera.  Let's all listen-up, eh?

The Peacock 787

 "Jenn", says Sarah, "Why haven't you told us any of this?"

"Maureen knows."

Sarah stares at her, incredulous.

"I'm sorry, Sarah, it isn't that I haven't trusted you, but you already seemed to have a lot to worry you already.  And Maureen just seemed to be there at the right time."

"I didn't know you were a mom. You've always been so quiet about everything.  So secretive."

"Well, now you know.  Now everyone knows.  I'm sorry, Sarah, but not everyone is as open as you are."

"But why so self-protective?"

"I'm sorry.  I didn't mean to hurt you.  Maureen and I go back quite a few years, plus she already knew Elias and John both, and had been to visit us for meals sometimes.  When you came along, my husband and child were already long gone,   It just hurt so much, that I really wanted to put it all behind me, and Maureen agreed and we never brought it up again.  When you came to live with us, it really was for me like starting over."

I can tell that Sarah isn't going to give her a pass for this one.  But she is going to have to.  Amanda says suddenly, "Jenn, did your stepfather ever think of himself as a Greek god?"

"All Greek men think they are gods", she says laughing...

The Peacock 786

 "What became of your mom", says Amanda, who seems to be already staking out the possibilities of a new best friend with Jenn.

"Around that time, she was being courted by a Mexican hotel owner.  He really fell for Mama, plus he greatly coveted her restauranteur expertise.  Oh, I forgot to mention that she did stay with the family restaurant despite my stepfather, but only because she had already bought him out.  It was her place and she actually fired him.  Anyway, José had a lovely resort hotel in Puerto Vallarta, and apparently Greek food is really popular down there.  She was afraid of abandoning me and John, with how problematic Elias was being, but I just told her, don't worry your little girl is a big girl.  Anyway, she's already seventy-one, wants to retire and come home.  The romance has fizzled with José, who even at seventy plus is a serial cheater, and she wants to come home to Canadian  free health care and the loving embrace of her daughter.  And she wants to go to England with me to see her grandson...

785

 "When I came out to see what was going on I heard these words from Ari, my stepfather, to Elias, So what's a monkey like you doing in this neighbourhood. I replied, and what is a Greek immigrant like you doing in this neighbourhood, and not bothering to listen for his rebuttal, Elias and I both got in the car and drove off.  Apparently when Ari first saw him he assumed that, being a black man, Elias was up to no good, so he wanted to know where he lived.  He wouldn't believe him when he said he was my fiancé.  This also put the kiss of death to my mother's marriage to Ari.  I called a family conference the following Sunday.  Elias refused to attend, but the showdown got very ugly.  Both my stepbrothers were there, Mike and Demetrius, who both took my side.  After we got through the yelling and screaming and swearing, my mother left the room, and we all sat around scowling quietly.  Mom came back down with her suitcase.  What do you think you are doing. Thelma, said Ari, to which she replied that her daughter was going to have a guest for a while.  Without any further ado, Mom and I went back to my place in her car.  She slept on my couch for three weeks, then when Elias and I got married, the three of us moved together to a two bedroom apartment.  I was surprised that he was okay with it, but for him our arrangements squared with African tradition, plus he and Mom got on quite famously, for two years anyway, until I became pregnant with John, and my African husband began to get very nervous and very ugly surrounded by all this estrogen.  Fortunately he was away a lot...

The Peacock 784

"Jen!", chimes Michael.  "I never knew you had it in you."

"You don't want to know what I have in me."

"Jen, you are so gentle", says Sarah, clutching her shoulder.  "You actually put your husband in hospital!"

"I deflected his fist when he tried to plow me in the face and then I just let him have it.  Till then, I just took the blows.  He never hit hard, nor repeatedly, just enough to assert his fragile African masculinity.  Sorry Francois."

"You speak rheams of truth, Jennifer", he quips.

"I couldn't take any more."

"but the way you stood up to your stepfather", says Sarah.

"That too. I was just sick and tired of years of racist comments from him.  I think we would have stuck  around had Elias been willing, but he wasn't, and even that early he wanted to assert his dominance."

The Peacock 783

 "What is it like", says Francois, "Having a coloured child, you yourself being white?"  And here at this table, no one but Francois, Rwandan Tutsi Canadian, would get away with asking that kind of question.  "I'm sorry, I hope that wasn't indelicate of me."

"Coming from you, Francois, not indelicate in the least", she says.  "While I think I've always been pretty aware, and also indifferent about race, I wish I could say the same about others.  But first of all, John is not black, as if that should matter, but bi racial.  But when someone is biracial, none of the white supremacists pay any attention at all to the Caucasian half of the genome, only the skin colour.  And the worst offenders were my own Greek family.

"The first red flag was when I introducing Elias as my fiancee one Sunday afternoon when my stepfamily was hosting a garden party.  No one knew at the time that he was African.  I went in ahead of him while he delayed in the car searching for his camera.  After a few minutes I noticed he still hadn't arrived.  Also, Ari, my stepfather wasn't around.  On a hunch I went out the front door, and there was Ari, staging some kind of verbal confrontation with my fiancé.  I walked over and said, how's everything.  Ari looked at me and said this man claimed to be my fiancé.  And I said, because he is my fiancé.  Ari, please meet my fiancé, Elias.  But by this time, Elias was not about to shake his hand, and I didn't blame him one bit.  My stepfather babbled something about a misunderstanding, and I replied that there was no misunderstanding, that clearly my stepfather was a racist, so I walked past him, and Elias and I went for lunch in a restaurant on West Broadway where we could debrief.  It was so humiliating....

The Peacock 782

 As Jennifer composes herself, Amanda places a consoling hand on her back, two mothers suffering together over their children.  This has all been so engrossing that my piece of apple pie is now partly flooded by the melting vanilla ice cream of three very generous scoops.  Carrie comes around with the coffee pot.  "How is everything?" she says, glancing at Jennifer.

"I'm alright.  Thanks", says Jennifer, wiping her cheek with the back of her hand.  Amanda removes her hand from her back.

"You won't believe", says Amanda to Jenn, "How happy I feel for you."  Yes, two mothers experiencing together what only two mothers can share.

"There's more to the story", says Jennifer.  "I heard from John that just two weeks after dismissing his secretary, that Elias died from a cerebral embolism.  His will is being probated, but it looks like I will still be getting money from his estate, as this arrangement was in writing as en perpetuity.  John has invited me to come see him in England.  I am thinking of the end of August..."

The Peacock 781

 Two months later, following I cannot describe how much anguish, worry and heartache, I got an email from Elias' lawyer.  The deal was, provided that I stay away from the police, the media and all legal recourse, I would be sent a substantial sum of money every month.  Not wanting any more complications, as well as having bills and debts to pay, I agreed.  The other proviso was that I was not in any way shape or form to seek contact with Elias or John.  I had only been informed that they were in Ghana and that I would receive an update once a year, from Elias' secretary, and nothing else.  So, once a year, just after John's birthday, I would receive one or two paragraphs, simply describing John's studies in school and his academic achievements.  Nothing else.  Then just a couple of months ago, the unimaginable happened.  I got a personal email from Elias' secretary  he had just been dismissed and partly from revenge, partly from guilt and also pity, he sent me my son's contact information.  I wrote to him immediately.  Two weeks later I got an email from him.  A warm and loving email from my son", and now she has to stop, can no longer compose herself and is openly weeping....

The Peacock 780

"So, what happened to your son?" says Amanda.  "Are you in touch with him?

"Finally, yes", says Jennifer, and now she is trying to compose herself because she looks like she is about to start crying.  "Sorry, everyone, this is quite emotional for me.  I have had two emails from him in as many weeks.  He is now almost twenty-three, and excelling at Oxford where he is majoring in clinical psychology.  I am so proud of him".  And now she is smiling and beaming.

"What happened?" say I.

"This is where it gets really complicated.  You see, the last time I saw Eli, my husband, I had beat him up rather badly and he had to spend a few days in hospital.  He couldn't press charges or anything because I was so clearly defending myself.  You see, shortly after we married, he decided to go all African patriarchal on me, that I had to be the submissive wife and obey him to the letter.  When I refused, he hit me.  But then I hit back.  The marshal arts training has come in very handy, you know.  I am also bigger, and stronger than he is.  The last time he tried to hit me, I went all wildcat on him.  That was when he was accusing me of trying to turn John gay, and my son is actually queer, but we'll get back to that later.  Suffice it to say, after he was discharged from hospital, when I came home from work, he and John were both gone....

The Peacock 779

 "I find it amazing", says Francois, "That that pastor would call you a racist.  You and I have both lived in the same house the last going on two years and if you had even one racist bone in your body I would have detected it   That woman is clearly a nutcase."

"Well", says Sarah, "She is clearly misguided like so many church ministers these days."

"It would seem to me that she got past the screening committee more on the basis of being a woman, a woman of colour,. and queer, than for having any real vocation or calling from God", says Michael.  "Total lame ass political correctness with a very thin Christian veneer.

"I would find that hard to say one way or the other ", says Jennifer.

"And by the way", says George, "Being myself a person of colour, I fully concur with what Francois just said."

"Thank you", says Jennifer.

"But what about your son?" says Carl.

"This is where it gets complicated.  My husband, and I call him my husband only because we still haven't gone through legal divorce proceedings, was quite wealthy, having done very well with a tech start up that he heads.  This was just after we began dating in university when I was studying library sciences   Oh, he was a charmer, and being African, just so exotic.  Sorry, Francois, and George, but I guess that isn't very appropriate."

"Don't worry about it it", says George, "I find white people exotic, isn't that right Jeffy?" he says playfully to his partner.  "What about you, Francois?"

"I just find you guys kind of strange.  Pretty bland and self-important, if you ask me."

"I resemble that remark", says Carl, and we are all suddenly laughing with him....

The Peacock 778

 "Annie came to replace Howard, who was already well past the age of retirement.  I began attending just three years before, and I took Howard into my confidence.  You see, I had just recently been abandoned by my husband and our son, whom he took with him to Ghana, where he is originally from.  It was a very complicated mess from the very beginning, he was abusive, sometimes violent, and hugely patriarchal, and plus he was accusing me of trying to turn our son, John, into a homosexual, and I had to get out of there, but fortunately he left shortly after I was in contact with police.  Well, you can imagine what a mess I was emotionally and psychologically when that all happened, and Howard became like my father.  He was so lovely.  But he was already in his seventies and under a lot of pressure to retire.  Then came Annie, or Pastor Annie, as she insisted on being called.  I could see that she was a problem from the very start, really wanting to control and redefine the entire church after her image.  We only had one conversation, and she simply said, regarding my husband that it was my fault for not appreciating or honouring our cultural differences and then accused me of racism, which to me was simply ridiculous.  I didn't answer back.  I simply quietly stepped down from my volunteer duties in the church, then never returned."

"And that was when you came to live with us", says Sarah.

"You and Mauren simply saved my life."  And here the two women pick up their coffee cups and clip them together in a toast, having to reach across me in order to do it.

"Oh, excuse us, Christopher", says Jennifer.

"No problem.  No problem at all."

"The really sad part of it was that no one from the church moved so much as a finger to offer me support.  No one even phoned or sent me a text after I left.  It was as if I was already dead for them..."

The Peacock 777

 "I don´t know", say I, "With the taste of Chinese food still in my mouth this apple pie tastes a little bit off."

"You should have it with ice cream.  You've just taken one bite, so it ain't too late.  Hey, Tommy?"  Tommy approaches the table with a diffident waiter's air.  "Could you scoop some vanilla ice cream onto Christopher's pie, please?" 

"Chris", says Tommy.  And I actually don't mind that he is also calling me Chris, and not Christopher.  It could be that he reminds me in so many ways of Carl, who alone has that privilege.  But I guess I could also get over myself and extend to Tommy the privilege.  As if it should even matter.  "Want some ice cream on your pie?"

"Sure, okay."

"One scoop?  Two?"

"Give him three", says Sarah, laughing.

"Three scoops coming right up", he says, whisking away my pie.

"Seriously, Jenn", says Sarah, "You are a gifted peacemaker.  Tell us how you handled things with leaving the Lutherans..."

The Peacock 776

 "Does she still go to meetings?" says Carl.

"Religiously", says Jenn, laughing.  "When we were still in Vancouver I used to attend with her on occasion.  Really lovely, dedicated people, and an hour of silence together is something unimaginably lovely."

"But aren't you a Lutheran?" says Carl.

"Lapsed Lutheran.  Got sick of the politics.  And I didn't get on at all with the new pastor.  Oh, she had all the right credentials, being a woman of colour, and a woman, and also an out lesbian in a same sex marriage, but she was otherwise a trainwreck. plus, she would only give the time of day to anyone who would address her as Pastor Annie, like she was a member of a high and exalted caste.  So, instead of sticking around to argue, I just left."

"You really hate conflict", says Sarah.

"Always have.  There are so many good and healthy ways for coming to resolution or reconciliation, but it's something that not many of us are much good at.  Including me."

"Oh, I don't now about that", says Sarah.  "I've always found you an inspiration, for being calm and diplomatic.  Qualities that I simply do not have?"

"Oh, cut it out, Sarah.  I'm just a chicken.  And, hey, this pie is good...

"