It's All About Me (sure it is dear, sure it is) 5

Living in a BC Housing building can be like living in a petri dish. Sometimes a crucible. This is bound to happen when you put together a group of adults with nothing really in common outside of our humanity, our age demographic (this is a building for seniors), our poverty,, and our trauma. I think it is safe to assume that everyone, or almost everyone, living in subsidised housing has had some experience of trauma. Such is life when you are poor, housing vulnerable and often have to navigate obscenely long wait lists in order to find a decent place to live, or any place to live. Our building is managed by More Than a Roof Housing, an organization of Christians who really do stellar work in helping us keep body and soul together. MTR is also dedicated to building community in their buildings, a promethean task not to be taken lightly. Especially given how incompatible a lot of us are with one another. For those of us who take seriously the Christian faith, the Gospels, and the discipleship of following Jesus, community is not simply an option. It is a command. Whether it be church, or group activities, or simply living as a good, kind, friendly and respectful neighbour. I really try to be that kind of neighbour. It isn't always easy, especially when we have such a diversity of tenants, each having a story, or rather, each one being a story, or perhaps a blockbuster novel, and each being turned to rather different pages. I try to remain on the periphery here at City Heights. I need lots of rest and time for prayer, which obviates a lot of social interaction. But in passing I have become friends with some very fine neighbours here and always look forward to running into them and chatting. Two people here appear to find me problematic and for what I think are very childish reasons, hold huge grudges and will not talk to me. One of them tried to persuade me that non white immigrants are threatening the white social order of Canada. I called him out on his racism and reported him to management. To this day he hates me, will not respond if I say hi, and will even bail from the elevator if I am also in it. The other will not speak to me because I complained about smoke in my unit from her sacred family barbecue. As hard as it is living in close quarters with hostile individuals, this does present me with the daily challenge of dying to myself and forgiving and praying for them, and,yes, even loving them with Christ's love. I do not know their personal stories. I can only guess at the kind of pain they have been through and still have to live with. It is sad, knowing that carrying hate and bitterness could easily destroy their souls and cast them away from the presence of God come judgment day, and for this reason I pray for them both. Forgiveness is not easy, but it is not impossible, otherwise Jesus would not command us to forgive. But it is only going to happen if we are willing to let go of our own self-importance and our sense of personal sovereignty. And this can only happen when we agree to love. To actually care for the person who has hurt or offended us. This letting go is not easy. It is hard, but it is also essential if we are going to move forward as humanity. Otherwise, Israel and Palestine will go on bombing the bejesus out of each other, and also Russia and Ukraine, not to mention, the US, Iran, Yemen, Darfour, and pick any one of the world's many trouble spots. Forgiving means putting to death our self-centeredness and self-importance. Forgiveness means flipping the middle finger in the face of narcissism and selfishness. Forgiveness shakes the scales from our eyes and the mud out of our ears so that we can see and hear Jesus standing in our midst. When someone offends me, they are also blessing me, because they have given me something to forgive, and forgiveness heals us and brings us closer to Jesus and to one another.