Another Random Day

This is not going to be a theme post since I seem, for now, to have run out of original ideas.  We are having unseasonably warm weather for early October and today feels almost like a summer day.  The days are shorter than ever and it is hard to believe that winter arrives in less than three months and also of course Christmas.  It is hard to psychologically adjust to all this fuss about Christmas and Thanksgiving since I have no one to celebrate these holidays with and it is always an uphill battle for me against depression.  I know it is not going to be easy.  I also know that I will get through it.

I am not discounting the possibility that someone could invite me for dinner or lunch or a visit Thanksgiving Day, which comes in a week, but since that usually hasn't happened I am not going to hold out it hope and will still make alternative plans.  So, I will take myself out for dinner, either to a Thai restaurant I particularly like or to the White Spot in my neighbourhood.  Or I could go to the Naam since being vegetarian I won't be eating turkey anyway. 

I think the most uncomfortable feature of Thanksgiving for me will be how to answer those, especially in my church, who are going to ask me how I am going to spend it, knowing full well that they will have no intention of including me in their plans.  I find that brutal honesty is the best policy.  I simply tell them that I have no family and all my friends are missing in action during Thanksgiving so I spend it alone unless I can persuade someone to go out for brunch with me and sometimes this does happen but not always.  I always get a great sense of schadenfreud over their obvious discomfort and walk away feeling a little vindicated.

Of course the whole idea of Thanksgiving is thanks giving.  Giving thanks.  For which reason I really shouldn't worry about being left on my own since the whole idea is to be giving thanks to God for all the goodness and blessings (which are many) in my life.  And this is how I'm going to cope.

Christmas is going to be another story since it's much bigger.  I will be working that day at Venture, I hope, as usual, hanging out with the clients, taking them out for coffee, having dinner with them and playing a board game afterward.  I get paid for it, which isn't really the point.  It gives me something to do and I am able to share time with people who really need and appreciate this.