One of the many contentious issues that characterised the civic elections last month has to do with the decision of the school board to make school washrooms gender neutral. This is going to be done in order to accommodate transgender students, a very tiny but significant minority in the student population. New Canadians from very conservative societies, notably Chinese, have been up in arms about this. For a while the ridiculous rumour was circulating that the schools were planning to inject their students with a serum that would turn them gay. And some parents were actually swallowing it (not the serum!) Now, the idea is that students who identify as a different gender should still be allowed to use whichever school washroom or change room that they feel comfortable in. The Chinese (I'm calling a spade a spade) parents are upset about this because of concerns, they say that the other students would be uncomfortable about a biological male who identifies as female doing her winky-tink in the privacy of a washroom cubicle in the girls room. Or that boys would have trouble with girls who are trans-boys trying to pee standing up at the open urinal? Well, this could be difficult given that they would likely still be carrying their, shall we say, biological configurations, and thus would not be able to stand at a urinal without making a dreadful and embarrassing mess. So, one could agree that the students' concerns haven't been really factored in but really is it going to be that big a deal? I think that the real problems could arise in high school in the gym change rooms should the trans boys or trans girls decide to shower naked with the biological girls and boys. For this reason alone I could sympathize with the upset Chinese parents. But maybe they could simply shell out the bucks to build gender neutral change rooms and showers, private rooms so that everyone would be accommodated? Ah, but who would cough up the dough given that school and education budgets have already been drastically slashed in this province. Perhaps they could fundraise, you know, bake sales, students selling chocolate bars in the mall, that sort of thing.
Gender, for most people, is a serious issue. I don't really care that much myself since gender identity has never been high on my priority list. Biologically I am male but I seem to fit right in the middle of the gender identity spectrum making me androgynous. Which basically means that I still dress and groom myself like a regular working class dude--jeans, runners, plain button down shirt, no jewelry or cologne (but I do shower daily and use deodorant, if you have to know), but no fancy hair-do (I have male pattern baldness anyway so I just keep it cut short.) On the other hand I enjoy cooking, baking, cats, birds, I'm vegetarian, detest cruelty to animals or other humans, love and surround myself with beauty, am super-empathetic, and have spent my professional life caring for other people. However I am not going under the knife any time soon since I like my body the way it is (barring a few needed aesthetic adjustments perhaps) and I would look absolutely ridiculous wearing a dress or a frilly blouse or high heels. Perhaps I could turn myself out like a pretty convincing butch lesbian but we won't go there, eh?
I have known a good number of trans people in my day and I would have to say that for me the jury is still out. There is one trans woman I know from an Anglican parish church I used to attend where the motto has been, "No matter where you happen to find yourself along the way, you are welcome here," or something like that. This particular trans woman has generally always been hostile towards me. I have never known why since she hasn't troubled to tell me and I haven't taken the trouble to ask. She probably assumes that I'm an intolerant evangelical who hates trans people which couldn't be further from the truth. She also has status in this parish church, serves as a sub deacon during some of the eucharists and I believe owes her position in the church not to her winning personality or to holiness of life and a loving disposition but to the fact that many Anglican parishes are hobbled by guilt and political correctness and they want all minorities, especially fashionable ones like trans people, to feel included.
There did appear to be a brief thaw between this lady and I, to my relief, and we actually talked to each other on occasion. Then one day I really put my foot in my mouth. I mentioned to her that, "well, you identify as a woman." I thought that would be acceptable. She replied in her masculine baritone voice "I AM a woman." Conversation over.
Besides the fact that she looks horrible in a dress, rather like a bad drag queen, this is what I have to say to her:
"Yes, I know that you think you are a woman. You are not a woman. You are female but biologically you are a man. You have never menstruated, have never developed lactating breasts, do not have a uterus, you are incapable of bearing children. YOU ARE NOT A WOMAN. I respect that you are female and I acknowledge this even though you look ridiculous in women's clothes and makeup and I feel sorry for you because you have to take hormones and live with their side effects for the rest of your life. It also saddens me that you are so intolerant and ungenerous as to demand that before you will give me the time of day that I have to believe the lie that you believe about yourself. And it equally saddens me that this parish church that used to be my faith community is so lacking in discernment as to allow someone so reprehensible as you to give the chalice to people during communion whom afterward you are going to reject and despise once you've removed your alb. You are a female in a man's body and whether you wish to deal with this through surgery and hormones or by simply liberating yourself from the social norms and stereotypes of gender is purely your own business and I respect whichever path you take. But I do not have to agree with it and if you choose to dis me for respectfully disagreeing but still accepting your choice then this says a lot more about me than it does about you.
Yesterday I used the women's washroom in a café because the men's was occupied and I was desperate to go. It is a one stall washroom with a key, so no worries here. There was blood on the toilet seat and I understood immediately and intuitively just why a man can never become a woman no matter how much he wants to. Not all the reassignment surgery and hormone treatments in the world are going to change the arrangement of your chromosomes. No matter how hard you otherwise try, you are always always going to be a Y. There is also something about having to bleed, having to accept that monthly wounding in exchange for the privilege of bearing children that makes women uniquely female. This is an exclusive private club that no man, no matter what he identifies his gender to be, will ever be able to legitimately crash. Pretend you are a woman all you want. You are never going to be one. Female yes. Gender is different from sex. But to you men who want to be women you might have better luck pretending you are unicorns!
No comments:
Post a Comment