We are a culture of addiction. It is all well and good to focus on actual addicts, especially to illegal substances: heroin, cocaine, crack, crystal meth, fentanyl, and others. Then there are the legal addictions to alcohol, cigarettes, caffeine. We also have gambling addicts, sex addicts, internet addicts, shopaholics, food addicts. Sports addicts? Art addicts (like me!) Religious addicts? How about adrenalin junkies? Fitness addicts. Yoga obsessives.
When we really get a picture of how prevalent are behaviours that could well be considered addictive or obsessive it would appear that drug addicts and alcoholics are merely the tip of the iceberg, or perhaps, convenient scapegoats for the rest of us.
I have long believed there to be something seriously and dreadfully wrong with us as human beings. Something very destructive and self-hating. As though at the core of our being we really resent being alive, despite the biological imperative to live, hence this obsessive thrill-seeking behaviour that helps us get through the grey ordinariness of a typical day. It isn't enough to simply get through the day seeing something to enjoy in your job, your studies, your visit to the store, your drive to work, your walk to the bus stop, your ride on the bus, the person standing behind you in line who had the temerity to want to begin a brief friendly conversation. The bird with the beautiful red under its wings flying nearby, the way the leaves shine in the sun in the summer, the yellow and orange leaves in the fall, the way the frost gleams on a winter day, the sound of rain on your umbrella in the presence of the first daffodils of spring, or the perfect Escher-esque reflection of the naked tree in the pooling water. A sense of gratitude that your heart is still beating, that you are healthy and strong to walk unassisted, that you have access to good food to eat, at least one person on the earth who cares about you, the existence of others for you to love. Appreciation for the friendly cat on the sidewalk or the playful dog who wants a pat on the head.
Addiction, yes, is an illness. But it is a disease that we consent to. It isn't like a virus that we unwillingly ingest. No one puts a gun to your head and forces you to take that drink, that fix, or whatever. But once you're hooked you are indeed sick, but no recovery can really happen without your consent. There is little doubt that there are also genetic and biological factors at play with addiction as well as issues of trauma from childhood abuse and neglect. It is also very telling that we live in a culture where children are still mistreated and abused and neglected and where violence is still very much prevalent in too many people's experience of life.
No matter where or how or caused by whom the spiritual void and the self-loathing that give rise to addiction, we live in a world that seems to be populated by incomplete beings, staggering and stumbling along in search of any overwhelming or heightened experience to help them forget, if for but a few blessed moments of oblivion, their gnawing and relentless emptiness.
There is something inherently selfish about addiction, and somehow I am persuaded that unselfish behaviour is going to be handed by any of us like a gift on a shining platter, nor that the wave of a magic wand is going to fill us with love for our neighbour. I do believe in the realm of personal choice. As unloved and unwanted as we might feel we can still choose to love, to care and to have compassion for others. It isn't easy and it isn't a magic bullet, but even if we have not received adequate love in our lives, if maybe only just a little bit, a tiny seed of love, we can nurture and bring this seed to life in the way we regard and treat those closest to us, even if it's the person sitting next to you on the bus, or the driver of the car in the next lane, or the beggar seated on the sidewalk.
Still, for those who have never known love, have never been or felt wanted, even this is going to be impossible, and these are the ones we have to start reaching out to. If we do this, while allowing the God who is Love to fill our hearts, then we will see miracles, maybe not all at once. Miracles often take time. But this way of reaching out in care, compassion and love to the ones in easy reach is but a first step and this can also help us in our own long road of healing of the empty and broken hearts that make us such easy prey for addiction.
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