How does community look? Community is what we are going to need if we are going to be effectively proactive and preventative in the way we approach mental health. There is very little available in our communities that could actually stave off or actually prevent mental health and addiction issues from afflicting our most vulnerable populations. The reason is quite simple: our obsession with individualism and making money. And, basic human selfishness.
I could blame it on capitalism, as I have used this convenient whipping boy many times over on these pages. Here I am going to try not to, not just because it can get to be too easy a target, but because the roots run a little bit deeper.
One issue that strikes me is how busy everyone is with their jobs. So few workers have sufficient time for their own families, much less for perfect strangers who lack the kinds of supports that most take for granted, and are also casualties of poor or no parenting. The pressure to earn a living, pay the rent, mortgage, bills, and for groceries, and the growing gap between people's income and the costs of living (especially housing) is already having a catastrophic effect on our collective and individual wellbeing. Add to this mess people's greed and materialism and expectations of a luxurious style of life and things get yet more complicated.
The way we look at work, income and survival needs to be reviewed. Much of what we know as work has its roots in slavery and in feudalism. Even though no one can legally be owned or exploited without remuneration the hierarchy of the workplace and the sense of bondage to one's employer often suggests that we really haven't evolved that much since Roman times when everyone with even a little money owned slaves, nor from the Dark Ages in Europe when the feudal system became deeply entrenched. We all need to survive, to pay for our shelter, food, clothing and means of transportation. This is usually accomplished through either hiring ourselves out to an employer or becoming entrepreneurs. But we still have to struggle. Even if we really like what we are doing, the value is often corrupted by our need to do this job, however noble, to keep soul and body together.
Because of this toxic dynamic we tend to have limited availability for one another, even though our needs for legitimate human bonding almost always surpass what is available to us. Because our employers are eating up our souls. This in itself is a form of slavery.
In order to really become a community that is also extended family we have to consider making sacrifices of income for time. But if our income barely covers our necessities then we will have to remain unavailable.
Or, we could become a little more creative. Perhaps ask ourselves some telling questions about luxuries we take for necessities. Do we really need all those high tech toys when a simple phone or laptop will do? Do we really need to have a car? Cigarettes? Alcohol? To shop at Whole Paycheck (Whole Foods?). How much time that we waste on Facebook could be better used for those who occupy the same room, or to make contact with a lonely friend? Or to make the effort of making new friends?
It isn't just how available we are able to be, but how willing are we? How many times do we simply make excuses because we are simply selfish? How prepared are we to open our lives and our hearts to others in a spirit of trust? And how many wounds of betrayal are we willing to endure before we break down under the pressure and then need for ourselves the kind of help we might offer to others?
It's really a seething mess we are living in, but we still need to be creative with what is available to us, and we have to start opening our eyes and looking around to see how we can share ourselves with one another, which also means running all kinds of risks, and sometimes getting hurt and damaged and then helping one another work it through so we can actually set in motion a new dynamic of community that will eventually take form around us once we have let the seeds of love germinate and take root in our hearts.
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