I am grateful for four day long weekends. I do not get paid for Good Friday or Easter Monday, unfortunately, being a contract worker, neither am I allowed to work those days, so it's pretty unfair, eh? On the other hand, on my low wage I am still able to travel every year with just a little careful budgeting, so this is something else to be grateful for.
This is Easter Monday and I am listening to the usual bullshit propaganda on the radio news whenever an electoral campaign is underway. Right now the incumbent premier is crowing about how her socially irresponsible government creates jobs! jobs! jobs! She does not say how much these new workers are making or if they can make ends meet while paying inflated housing costs. That woman is deplorable and I hope she gets her ass kicked all the way past Jupiter come election day.
I have been spending the day alone. It felt a bit awkward at first, given that I still have a bit of an emotional hangover from yesterday. I also had to figure out what exactly I was going to do. It is still awkward for me to have an entire unscripted day to fill. This used to be the norm for me. In recent years, my work and my social engagements have made it so necessary for me to carefully orchestrate and discipline my life. When a day of nothing and no one suddenly presents itself, I am at first going to feel a bit lost.
I think of this as a practice run for retirement. There will come a time when days like this are going to be the norm and not the exception. I have no family and my social life tends to be a bit on the thin side. Every morning, for a while anyway, I am going to have to address and confront my inner void, my soul-emptiness.
It isn't as hard as it seems. I decided on a plan, following breakfast and the last half hour of a film in Spanish on YouTube. I would take the bus to Shaughnessy, then walk three miles to my favourite Saturday café, although today has been Monday, at least since it began, just following Sunday. The walk was enjoyable, and invigorating. It has been a little bit warmer today, not as warm as yesterday but I could still walk around comfortably without my winter coat. The trees are wearing more green, the flowers are visually intoxicating and the fragrances are indeed the classic fragrances of spring.
The café was closed today and I had to use the bathroom, so I took the bus home. I decided to treat my apartment like the café. I threw together a light lunch and got to work on the drawing that I finished today, while listening to CBC. An hour and a half later I walked over the bridge and said hi to a few strangers, then arrived at Granville Island where I bought fair trade cocoa at the Ten Thousand Villages store which is operated by the Mennonite Central Committee. I walked back over the bridge, enjoying the moment, the movement, the fresh cool air, the unfolding scenery of trees buildings, ocean, sky and mountains. I stopped at the local Shoppers for milk and eggs where the older Filipina woman on duty told me about all the food she ate during Easter.
Back at home I made cocoa while listening to music, then got back to work, this time on a new drawing, sent an email to a friend about meeting for coffee soon, then later fell into a luxurious nap while leaning back in my recliner chair. Now dinner is almost made, I've taken out the recycling and once again I have burnt the Brussels sprouts.
It seems that a day spent close to home with a couple of long walks has been just what I've been needing. I'm usually out for the whole day. I must have been needing to slow down, become more centred in myself (not at all the same as being self-centred, by the way!) through being more centred in my living space. I have finished dinner, I no longer feel lost. I have made peace with my inner void and my soul is no longer empty. It probably never was.
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