We are Shiva and we are community which makes Shiva an apt metaphor for community. In community, in any human collective, will be found various collections and combinations of the archetypes that form the spiritual DNA of our collective human psyche. Woven in and out of this fabric, like black and grey yarn are all the evidences of the shadow.
The shadow is a Jungian term for the hidden, feared and sinister side, the dark side to our human nature. It is part of the process of effectively employed psychotherapy, according to Carl Jung, to bring into evidence the shadow and all its contents. Exposing the hidden works of darkness to the light leads to healing and wholeness.
The archetypes and the shadow exist in all of us. When we are a collective, be this a work crew or a baseball team or a book club or a casual circle of friends, we also in groups bring into focus the archetypes, represented in us as individuals and emphasized in community. The shadow also tends to grow in strength and power because introspection and reflective thinking is always an individual as opposed to collective practice.
Community is dangerous to those who suffer from trauma. Community is essential for those who wish to heal from trauma. Remember, Gentle Reader, how in my previous post, I wrote about Shiva, creator, destroyer, transformer. When I read about this I asked and dwelt for a while on the question: what makes Shiva, the metaphor, I mean, transformer? How does this relate to creator and destroyer? It didn't take much thought to persuade me that else could he be transformer, but for being creator and destroyer.
Paradox is essential to our human condition. We are simultaneously hot and cold, ugly and beautiful, evil and good, joyful and miserable, generous and selfish. Those paradoxes and contradictions live in all of us and really seem to compose the very root of our humanity. We cannot simply forget or ignore our dark side and hope that it will go away. It never does. If neglected, it merely goes underground where it mutates, festers and takes on a terrifying force and strength when it eventually resurfaces again.
Those of us who suffer from trauma have often been exhausted by the paradox. We haven't merely been subjected to and harmed by evil but by the juxtapositioning of darkness and light. I will offer a personal example as a survivor of indecent assault. If the perpetrator of the inappropriate act is considerably attractive, kind, interesting or polite and nice, this doesn't make the assault easier to live with but so much the more traumatizing for being so insidious. Being assaulted by a beautiful person is the cruelest blow, and it was from such indignities that I suffered the greatest injury and the most horrendous trauma. Likewise I could mention my history of family abuse. My parents and my brother, the people whom supposedly cared about me the most and whom I loved above all others dealt me blow after blow after blow. I couldn't simply hate them and get over it. Their abusive treatment did nothing to diminish my love for them and so the pain and trauma were all the worse, more intense and more prolonged.
I am also writing as a survivor of religious abuse which has had on me rather a similar, though not quite so penetrating impact.
People are hell. People are purgatory. People are heaven.
I have had to continue to be part of the human community, in order to heal, in order to get on with my life, in order to live. Other people are inevitable for me just as I am inevitable to others.
It is in the paradox of human community, the frightful collective, where I have found healing. This is not a comfortable place to be. At work, there are my many needy clients, coworkers who might not be having their best day; at home there is the hell of coexisting with inconsiderate and noisy neighbours and obtuse management; among friends and acquaintances, well, one doesn`t always know what`s going on. Friendship is often more a responsibility than an entitlement, especially for people who have known each other a long time.
The natural tendency for trauma survivors to isolate themselves is natural and normal. It can also stall recovery. There will be necessary periods of withdrawal or retreat, but they should always be alternated with attempted forays, no matter how brief and tenuous, back into the human collective. There is not a trauma survivor on earth who has not benefited from the presence of some trusted and caring friend or care provider, there to help ease the transition towards recovery and renewed involvement with others.
Reintegrating should never be done precipitously, suddenly or too intensely. There will be conflict and obstacles. There will also be friendship and pleasant, enjoyable experience, often coming from the same people and the same source. Even at our worst, we need one another. It also helps when more of us can learn and grow to be for others who are hurting a gentle and trusting presence.
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