Healing Trauma 7

I just heard on the radio an interview with an individual who said, truthfully, that trauma never really heals, say, like a broken bone, but that recovery is actually an ongoing process.  Nothing could be truer.

I think that we need to also view trauma as an instrument of healing, rather like a surgical tool.  There is a common misconception that trauma is merely destructive of the self.  And this is true in a certain sense.  However, it is also helpful to consider the source of these kinds of claims: they are made by psychiatrists and other high level professionals from First World countries and comfortable upper class families who have never had to suffer much.  True, this is a generalization, but I think it is a fairly accurate generalization.

The kinds of people who make these sorts of claims have never really suffered in their lives.  They have always known where their next meal was coming from; have always lived in nicely-appointed homes; generally come from reasonably affluent and supportive families; have never lived through their own mental health crisis; have generally never suffered from social-marginalization or discrimination.  For the most part, they have always enjoyed good health, have never been treated like garbage and have always felt in full control of their lives and their destinies, have never had a problem with gaining access to the finest educational institutions of the land, and have always had full access to all the good, lovely things that upper middle class life has to offer.

There are some psychiatrists who have experienced trauma, but my guess is that they are relatively few and are likely to be already somewhat older and more experienced in life.  Naturally they are not going to favour the idea of trauma or suffering being beneficial to one`s growth and ability to move their lives forward.

You might recall, Gentle Reader, that from time to time I mention this horrible knowledge of life that all trauma survivors share in common.  We have been through the darkness that scares the bejesus out of everyone else, and we have come out the other side, not unscathed, but often much deeper and much wiser than we were before we went through it.  Therapists are often flummoxed by this paradox.  Some are able to accept and even celebrate it, but as I have already mentioned, they are more likely to have lived in that neighbourhood themselves for a while.

This also gives trauma survivors a terrifying wisdom that make us very painful people to be around.  Not because we won`t stop whining about it, since we are usually silent about what we have seen, but because we have acquired from our sufferings an almost hideous strength.

I believe that with the help of a competent therapist who has been there themselves, trauma survivors can use their dreadful and painful experience as a psychological and spiritual goldmine.  The self knowledge, and the knowledge of human nature that we gain, once we work through the pain and anger, can be invaluable instruments of empowerment.  Having been plunged to nadirs of humiliation, we acquire a humility and an empathy that gifts us as healers, albeit wounded healers, to others whose hearts and lives have been so dreadfully broken and crushed.

I work as a mental health peer support worker.  Our (usually untraumatized) colleagues-psychiatrists, rehab therapists, social workers and case managers-often speak about us with glowing admiration, because we are able to get next to our clients in ways that they cannot.  The way one of my supervisors said it: we can work well with difficult clients and move them towards recovery often in ways that no one else is able to.  I replied that this is also because I am generally comfortable with my difficult clients.  They perceive that I am not threatened by their pain, having been there myself, and this helps them relax, trust me more and it makes my job with them an awful lot easier.

It is only natural that we are going to run away from pain and suffering.  I think there is also a great need to embrace pain and suffering, not as masochists, but to bravely face it, in order to extract from the bitter experience all the sweetness of empathy, love and compassion, such things as will also empower us to be healers.