Life As Performance Art 6

The older I get, the harder it is to take anything seriously. I have long lost familiarity with the names of trending film and TV and music stars, for the simple reason that I simply no longer could be bothered. I do see the occasional film, usually on a flight, sometimes on YouTube, but going out to a cinema? Too expensive, too late, and too may idiots. Except for two brief years in my twenties, I have never had TV at home. I read books instead. Trends of course always are changing, but the underlying human needs and cravings remain virtually unchanged. We are still largely idiots, even if somewhat better informed and more educated idiots, we remain nonetheless idiots. Cynical? Not really. This is more acceptance. I am just worn-out and fatigued from participating in the race and now I have opted out. Ageing is exhausting enough without having to obsess with keeping up with the times. I would rather focus on things, activities, and people that I enjoy, than look or sound or dress au courant. A coffee visit or walk with a friend is all the socializing I need. Walking in quiet nature, preferably away from jogging idiots and moronic two wheeled ablists, is my favourite recreation. I don't need to spend money in order to have a good time, even if it's a fairly good time. I don't even need to have a good time. I am alive and in reasonably good health. That for me is, at the very least, having a fairly good time. Even when I was young and in my twenties I could never quite relate to the frantic obsessions of my peers with partying, drinking, using illegal drugs and fornicating like random bunnies. I suppose this could be blamed on my Christian faith, but it isn't a matter of blame. Having a spiritual centre in Christ has been enough to satisfy those needs, hungers and cravings that drive a lot of especially younger people into wild and self-destructive behaviours, even if it's all under the label of going out for a good time. Even when I found myself in those situations, I always felt like an awkward visitor. I simply did not have the same need, the same emptiness of soul as was driving so many of my peers, and goes on driving generation after generation of spiritually and morally unmoored young people. Neither have I any desire to morph into a cool geezer who can't stay out of the discos. I really cannot fathom this obsession with noise that so many people seem to have. For example, trendy restaurants where they crank up the music and you have to strain your vocal chords and wreck your eardrums in order to have a conversation. For me, give me silence, give me the quiet places, interior and exterior. I am quite happy to take a seat up in the balcony, or in the nosebleed section, while the rest of you knock out your poorly used brains on the dance floor.