Life As Performance Art 72

This morning, Gentle Reader, I am going to write here a little bit about empowerment. This was for a while a very popular word in the mental health profession. And it is a word that I still use to describe my particular model of work. My goal, with my clients, is to help them see that they are the ones in charge of their recovery. That they are not victims. That they are not at the mercy of their illness and symptoms. They are not at the mercy of the mental health system. They are not at the mercy of their psychiatrists, case managers, rehab therapists, or peer support workers. They are not at the mercy of their medications. They are not at the mercy of the government ministries. They are not at the mercy of their families. It may seem a bit ironic that I would be doing this, given that in more than just one category, I could be said to be part of a disempowered population. I am on a low-income. I am queer-asexual. And I am a trauma survivor. I also live in low-cost government-housing, and work in a profession that is riddled with systemic stigma. As a peer-support worker, I am expected to put up and shut up about being inadequately remunerated and patronized as a mental health survivor who ought to feel grateful that he has a job, especially with said august organization who pays us so poorly for our services rendered. And yes, I do try to remind myself of this, every time I am taking home my paycheque from my stingy employer (well, it is electronically deposited. This is the twenty-first century, Gentle Reader!). So, how can I not feel disempowered! Well, I don't feel disempowered. First of all, I do not stay quiet about things. I simply tell them, um, you guys, we are underpaid, this is totally unfair and you are exploiting us. This hasn't gotten me fired, so far, but only because I say these things as nicely as possible, without diluting or watering down the impact of my outrage. Likewise, living in social housing. When something isn't working, I say something or do something. Management respects me, after several false starts, because I know what I am entitled to as a human being, and this has nothing to do with having a sense of entitlement, since rights are not the same thing as entitlements. In terms of dealing with homophobic assholes, I simply tell them they are homophobic assholes, unworthy of my friendship, and go back to your caves and stay there till you've evolved a little. Maybe I cannot change all my circumstances, but I can negotiate with them, and make them work to my favour. Perspective has a lot to do with it, using it as a token of empowerment. As an example, I am thinking of some Muslim women who prefer to veil their faces in public. I used to be concerned that they are victims of patriarchy and male oppression, until, after reading and listening a bit, I realized that here in Canada, anyway, if a woman goes around in public with her face covered, it is her choice, and usually for very good reason. Partly, this is her way of honouring her God. Also, this is how she wishes to address the male gaze. This is tantamount to taking a symbol of oppression, turning it around and using it as a token of empowerment. This is a Muslim woman's way of telling men that she is not there at their pleasure or lust, and that if anyone is going to look on her face, it will be their privilege and her choice as to whether to unveil or not. Knowing this has inspired in me a deep respect for women who veil themselves in public, even if they don't have to, nor shouldn't have to. But they choose to. Respect it. That is empowerment, when we confront the forces that oppress us and we declare that it is still going to happen, not on their terms but on our own terms. I really don't expect that a lot is going to change for me in my work or my housing, nor do I think that a lot of the knuckle-draggers around me are ready to evolve yet. But they still have to reckon with an assertive and punchy individual who is not going to take it lying down. Someone who is even better at giving than getting. This is empowerment. It is also called self-respect and integrity and dignity, and these are things that no one can take from us without our permission. Even as a recipient of abuse and exploitation, I have had to learn to face down my oppressors and reclaim the dignity that they stole from me. This has meant in some cases confrontation. Where confrontation has not been possible, this has simply involved coming to actually believe that even in the midst of the abuse, that I was and I am better than that, and therefore better than they. I may never see any of those losers again, and really, I don't care to. But now I can live my life refusing to repeat the treatment that I was subjected to, and seizing each day and each moment in a spirit of joy and humour as I move on in this gift of life.