Life As Performance Art 76

I will open this post, Gentle Reader, with a redacted version of an email I sent this morning to a friend with whom I sometimes fall into useless arguments: "The etiquette I am thinking of here has more to do with simply being open to people in a spirit of goodwill and graciousness, that doesn't treat others like strangers, which is sadly lacking in the spirit of the times we are living in. (and they wonder why so many people in Vancouver are lonely) But I do find troubling this trend in the past couple of decades that leads to a further disintegration of the little community that still exists among people. I am not referring here to a strict code of etiquette but what might be referred to as an organic graciousness and goodwill towards others. And willingness to trust others. People are so much more standoffish than they used to be. But I think it also behooves one to accept that not everyone is going to be there, since this is not the spirit of the age we are living in. (and this has nothing at all to do with being from Richmond, North Van, Holland, New York, Brazil or wherever) .... I just find this whole thing very sad.... " I have been noticing for sometime this downward spiral we all seem to be living in. Globally, we are all more connected than ever before, but locally there is a sad hollowing out that leaves people isolated and lonely. I have found it increasingly difficult to connect people. There was a time when it seemed so easy to simply introduce my friends to each other, and my friends would introduce me to their friends, and people seemed to actually want to spend time together. They weren't always sure to become friends with each other, nor even to get along or like each other, but at least there was that willingness and openness to the other that seems sadly nonexistent now. I have found that it can take years now to persuade my friends to want to meet each other. The results are often sad. They don't seem to connect, or to even want to connect, and often seem relieved to end the visit, and conveniently forget each other's names later on. I have particularly noticed this with significant others, be they spouses or girlfriends or boyfriends. They simply don't want me or their other friends to know such a significant part of their lives. There is almost a shame or embarrassment implicit here. Or, so it seems. I think this is also the bitter and toxic fruit of capitalism and consumerism. There is such an ethos of narcissistic selfishness at work here because we for the most part have permitted ourselves to be reduced to mercantile units. And this also feeds into our relationships. We want to fulfil ourselves, of course, and others exist primarily for that purpose. Friendship has become very user-friendly to a lot of people and this is problematic, because we are heading into some very rough times, globally and locally. We are going to need to get our heads out of our heinies and start focussing more on what we can offer to others, rather than what we can get. Unfortunately, with so many people numbing themselves with alcohol, pot and other substances, I don't think there is going to be much of a collective willingness among us to grow as whole and complete human beings. This is why I make an effort with people. This is also why I try to nurture my friendships. And this is why I am always reaching out to strangers. We have to put an end to this fictional nonsense of the "Other", and if we are going to survive and thrive in the challenging times that are coming then so much the more we are going to need to hang together, or we are simply going to end up just hanging ourselves.