Life As Performance Art 120

I slept well last night. I am surprised. I did wake at 3, but somehow went back to sleep and remained in that state while fielding another ridiculously vivid dream, till I gradually was waking up between 4 and 5, then finally dragged my carcass out of bed just at twenty minutes after five. Now I am waiting for my clothes to finish their wash cycle and when they are in the dryer I can start thinking of breakfast. Life has taken on a direction for me that twenty years ago I would never have anticipated. I did not know that I would end up in affordable housing. I didn't know if I would end up anywhere. I was desperately poor, barely subsisting on basic welfare, and still too tired and burnt-out from all the weird and intense happenings of the previous fifteen years or so (I call this my thirteen year nightmare) to work full time. It was just nineteen years ago, the first night of the fireworks in late July, 2000, and I was enjoying an early evening walk in Stanley Park. There is a very tranquil path that circumnavigates the miniature railway. I went for a walk there, soaking up the tranquility and feeling deliriously alone in the presence of my friends, the towering Douglas fir trees. I wasn't sure what it was, at first. It was this odd pale object on the ground. I could see it was a feather. A huge white feather. I picked it up. It was the outer tail feather of a bald eagle. I then burst into tears, because I knew I had just been given by the Creator a very precious gift. I just pulled this bit of info from Uncle Google: "In Native American culture it is believed that all things possess an inherent virtue, power, and wisdom. The feather, for example, is a powerful symbol that signifies honor and a connection between the owner, the Creator, and the bird the feathers came from. It symbolizes trust, honor, strength, wisdom, power, and freedom. It is an object that is deeply revered and a sign of high honor....When a feather falls to the earth, it is believed to carry all of the energy of the bird it came from, and it is perceived as a gift from the sky, the sea, and the trees. Feathers may arrive unexpectedly, but not without a purpose...The eagle’s feather... is one of the most esteemed. In Native culture, the eagle is considered the strongest and bravest of all birds. For this reason, its feathers symbolize what is highest, bravest, strongest, and holiest." I am not First Nations. And I am a Christian. But I have long had deep respect for First Nations people and for native spirituality. And I know, now, that finding that feather marked the beginning of a huge transition in my life, that has led me into decent and affordable housing, full fluency in the Spanish language, full employment in meaningful work with a helping profession. This has also meant enjoying a full and complete recovery from post-traumatic stress disorder. It means that I have been able to travel internationally for the past ten years or so, it has meant putting an end to some very difficult and toxic legacies. So much has changed during this time, and more is going to change for me. This is inevitable. I may never boast of any of the benchmarks of success. I will never earn a lot of money, nor own my own home, or car (don't want to either), nor many of the other accoutrements of a successful life. I have something much better to enjoy. I have been able to take all my difficult circumstances and put them to work for me. I celebrate a life that is full of God, full of love, joy and meaning. I celebrate a life that is not about me, nor is centred around me, but around God and his love, and this is what I mean to communicate to the many whom God brings me in contact with. I have everything I need, housing, food, clothing, meaningful employment, health, friends, the ability to travel, and the capacity for creating art. Which is also to say that I have everything that I want.