Life As Performance Art 148

A lot of people seem to conflate the word love with approval, or being nice. I suppose kindness would come a bit closer, but kindness is still somewhere in the hinterland of niceness. I suppose it comes closer when there is real care and real respect going on. But the boundaries are still fuzzy. I have been called a hypocrite for every reason except what that word means. A hypocrite simply is someone who says one thing and does something else, whose actions do not match up with their words. Which actually makes us all hypocrites. For example, I was recently called a hypocrite, not because I was being a hypocrite, but because I was calling out someone on their addictions and their refusal to get treatment. I was called a hypocrite for not subscribing to someone's narrow view of gender fluidity, and deciding not to refer to that person's daughter as they or them, instead of her or she. But I am not being nice, since I am choosing to disagree, so, even though my actions are matching my stated beliefs, clearly my actions are not matching someone else's stated beliefs, so this must make me a hypocrite. But I have already mentioned on these pages and elsewhere that I do not do political correctness (which is really a form of intellectual tyranny) and that outside of transpersons I'm not going to disgrace the English language by applying they and them in ways that are simply neither proper or Christian, or Jewish or Muslim (but maybe Buddhist). I have been accused, by politically correct womyn (pardon the, er, spelling "error!") of slut shaming when I anonymously called out those two Mexican girls for talking loudly and openly in Spanish about some guy's penis. Especially given that it would not be acceptable for two men in any language talking so openly and graphically about some woman's vagina. So, who was really being shamed here? I simply replied that when a woman, or a man, behaves like a slut (or pig), then that is already something shameful and it should be called out. However, the politically correct thought police cannot seem to fathom that for women to sink to the same level as men is not empowerment. It is debasement, and no, men should neither be allowed to get away with being pigs. It looks awful on any gender, this business of sexually objectifying others, and should never be allowed or condoned. It could also be that because I would not be overly friendly with an individual with addictions who really scandalously abused my hospitality 21 years ago, (whom I have not seen in almost twenty years) that now that he is a broken down wreck getting around on a walker and was trying to wheedle money out of me when we ran into each other on the street recently, that because I didn't give him any money, or my contact information, and because I have decided not to further interact with this individual, that that makes me a callous, unChristian and unfeeling hypocrite. Even after explaining that that person had already harmed me in the past, that I was not going to be swayed or manipulated by pity, and that, really, I need to protect myself in my own neighbourhood given that I work ´professionally with people who have his kind of issues... I could go on. But, no, that makes me a hypocrite. Excuse me, but I am also a trauma survivor, and I know that if I start indiscriminately parcelling myself out to people in need when I am not at work and really ought to be resting and restoring my energy, this is not going to be the loving thing to do. It is suicidal. It was indiscriminately giving all my time and energy to such people, that helped me wind up with PTSD in the first place, and yes I have a legitimate need to protect myself. If that makes me a hypocrite, then too bad. I still do the best I can with my limited resources. Pity that that isn't good enough for some, especially the armchair observers of other people's virtue, who would rather judge than themselves lift a finger to do anything. It isn't that I don't wish that I could do more. Of course I would like to do more, but I am doing this in small steps, because I am bound and determined not to again destroy myself on a poorly thought out version of compassion and runaway empathy. I still try to help where I can. But now I know and respect my limits. I am also doing everything I can to extend my boundries, but that is going to take time, one small step at a time, Gentle Reader.