The Peacock 744

 "Sales are up for just about everything, especially the lingerie.  Peekaboo appears to be making a huge comeback, attributable, I would say to the popularity of burlesque rediscovered.  The gals really enjoy teasing their men."

"And women", says Sarah, dryly.

"Oh yes, and women too", agrees Amanda, chuckling, "we have quite a following of same sex couples", and she appears to be directing her look at George and Jeffery, neither of whom appear ready to budge.

"And my vibrators are selling like hotcakes", and here there is a ripple of laughter throughout the room

"What's this about vibrators and hotcakes", says Matthew returning to his seat

"Oh sit down and never mind", says Sheila.  "Well, you lived?"

"It wasn't that bad."

"Who's next?" says Jennifer.  "Aaron?"

"I'm still good for another month before I get my second shot  I think Glen is the next youngest after me."

"Just by a couple of months", he says, getting up...

The Peacock 743

 Sheila returns and Matthew gets up for his turn.  "Am I the only one scared of getting a needle?" he says with noble humility.

"Ain't no one here but us chickens", says Carl.

"Speak for yourself", says his sister.

"I always do, Mel, I always do."  To Amanda he says, "Too bad Tristan didn't want to come."

"This is a surprise", she says.  "I didn't think he would be welcome after what happened  and anyway, he is firmly anti-vax."

"What a shame", says Sarah.

"In so many ways", says Amanda, "In far too many ways, that boy is just like his father.  I for one really welcome this opportunity, otherwise I would be waiting another couple of weeks.  And especially now that business is booming thanks to this pandemic, I can't afford to book off sick."

"I imagine that would stand to reason, during a pandemic", says Carol, smiling sheepishly.

"Well, even Netflix has its limits and people do get bored after spending so much time together at home.  Though I am surprised that this virus hasn't turned into more of a mood killer."

"So what are your hot selling items right now", says Carl.

"We don't need to know any of that, Carl", says Melissa dryly...

"

The Peacock 742

 The nurse is around thirty years old, on the short side, dark with short dark hair and glasses, and has a calm self.effacing manner.  Melissa introduces her, "This is Naomi, the community care nurse.  She is going to vaccinate us against covid."

"Very pleased to meet all of you", she nods, smiling demurely.  Melissa leads her with her carry all full of equipment to the adjoining room.  Melissa returns to the room, leaving the nurse to get set up in the other room.

"We're not doing it all out here?" says Glen.

"It's better this way", says Carl.  "We each get poked in private."

I can tell that Melissa is not about to dignify that with an answer, and Carl is looking her way with the longing eyes of a doggy that wants a pat on the head.  

Naomi appears in the doorway and says, "Okay.  Were all set up, everyone.  I was going to recommend that we go in the order of birthdates, the oldest going first and that we continue in that order."  She has a pleasant quiet voice with the timbre of a girl much younger.  I wonder if she could be part native or Metis.  She is dressed in beige slacks and an emerald green shirt.

"Get going, Ma", says Michael to Sheila, smiling.

"Thank you for the respect, sonny-boy", she replies, getting up...

The Peacock 741

"We also carry", continues Amanda in her resonant reasuring voice,"Sex toys and especially bdsm equipment.  and also regular clothes and stuff."

"How VERY interesting", says Carol.

"In fact", says Amanda, turning to both Jeffery and George, "I think that is where I might have seen the two of you."

"You guys!" says Sarah with shocked laughter.  "I didn't know you had it in you!"

"You don't know what we have had in us", says George, smiling wickedly.

Jeff, who is turning beet red in the face, merely quips, "And you don't want to find out either."

"What do those initials stand for?" says Jesús

"Bondage, dominance, sado-masochism", says Amanda, as though starring in her own infomercial.

Carl quips, "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but whips and chains excite me." 

"Have you guys heard of the ultimate S and M relationship?" says Michael.  "The masochist says hurt me, and the sadist says no."

The doorbell is ringing.

"That will be the nurse", says Melissa.  "Now, everybody, behave like adults."

"We are being very adult", says Michael.  

"Almost X rated!" says Carl.

The Peacock 740

 "Okay everyone", says Melissa, "The nurse should be here any minute now.  Here, everyone put on a mask."  And she hands a bunch of hospital masks in cellophane packaging that we all start passing around. I have decided that I like Amanda, who appears both maternal and sure of herself.  She has rather a resonant kind of speaking voice that at once reassures and comforts.  I wonder how so positive a mother could have raised such an infantile loser as Tristan, but things like that do happen in life. 

"Amanda", says Carl, "We're all heading to the diner for lunch when we're done here.  Why don't you join us.  It's our treat."

"Well, I was going to the shop after to see what kind of support my staff will be needing today.  They did have some trouble with some particularly nasty customers that refuse to wear a mask.  But, I'll give them a phone call, and see how they're doing, and if it's okay, then sure, I can go for lunch with everyone then go into the shop after."

"What kind of shop do you own", says Sarah.

"Women's apparel", interjects Carrie, as though trying to cover for her.

"It's okay Carrie.  They can know.  It's a special kind of lingerie shop, and we especially cater to women of size."

"How interesting", says Carol."

"Come and visit sometime.

"I just might..."

The Peacock 739

 "Well, hello!" she says suddenly to Tommy.  "Fancy meeting you guys here!"

"Hey Amanda!" says Tommy beaming his best smile.  "We're also here for the jab.  You know, Carl and the gang here have turned into our best customers."

"Every day", says Carl, still smiling.  It is as though there is no off switch for that ludicrous grin of his.  He appears to be thoroughly in his element right now.

"And Carrie, so nice to see you.  I'll bet you've been very busy."

"Right now, because of covid there isn't a lot going on with  the lockdown and everything, but things do appear to be starting to ease up, especially now that everyone's getting vaccinated."

"What is it that you do?" says Carol.

"I'm a music therapist."

"You don't say.  Why we must have a chat sometime, darling."

"This", says Carl, "Happens to be none other than the legendary Carol Barlow-Mead."

"The concert pianist?" says Carrie, with a rather mesmerized look in her eyes.

"Well, not lately, dear, you could say that I am enjoying my retirement,"

"She plays sometimes here", says Sarah, "On the baby grand.  You have to come over to hear her sometime."

"I would be honoured", says Carol, tactfully..

The Peacock 738

 The doorbell again.  Melissa gets up to answer it and brings back with her a rather large woman well in her fifties, brassy blonde hair rather short but a bit on the wild side.  She is tanned and has a cheerful, confident look, and I think really a  pleasant woman.  She sits down almost next to me.

"Everyone", says Melissa, "This is Amanda. Tristan's mom."  She is wearing a sleeveless lime green dress, that strangely looks rather good on her.  She has freshly manicured pinkish beige finger nails, natural length, and on her left wrist sports what appear to be a half dozen golden bangles.

"And you are here to get poked?" says Carl, barely disguising his smile.

"My cheeky brother means to say jabbed", says Melissa, "just ignore him."

"Well", says Amanda, "Yes I am here to get jabbed, but as far as getting poked is concerned, that just might be a little too much information!" and then she smiles rather sweetly.  Melissa suddenly leaves the room and returns carrying a brown coloured, rather battered looking teddy bear.

"This must belong to your son", she says.

"Oh, yes, thank you ever so much", she gushes, receiving the teddy berry from Melissa.  "I'm afraid", she says, "That my son is very much a little boy in a young man's body.  He is miserable without his teddy", and she quickly examines it as though inspecting for damage, then lets it rest like a small child on her ample lap.

"It must have sentimental value for him", says Carl.

"She replies, "Oh, in spades.  He got it from his grandpa when he was just four years old..."

The Peacock 737

 "Pero, Tio", says Tommy in Spanish to his uncle, "No seas chinito?"

"No soy chinito, pequeñito, sino venezolano.  Tú eres chinito tú."

"Yo soy canadiense, Tío, y somos dos chinitos"

"Y no lo olvidemos!" says Carlos, laughing.

"What are you guys saying", says Sarah, wide eyed and smiling.

Tommy replies, "But, uncle, aren't you a chinaman?  And he replied, I'm not a chinaman, little guy, I am Venezuelan.  You are the chinaman.  Then I replied I am Canadian, and we are both chinamen.  And Carlos said, and let us not forget it."

"I would hardly call that appropriate?" says-asks Sarah.

"Oh get over yourself", says Michael.

"Well, I suppose it's okay if they use the term in a self referential sense" she concurs, "but the rest of us had better not."

"And don't you forget it!" says Tommy, laughing.

The Peacock 736

 "And you are here to get poked", says Carl, with a certain wickedness in his smile.

Carrie bursts out laughing and chimes", I suppose that's one way of saying it!"

"My brother, the comedian", mutters Melissa.

""Hey Carrie", says Tommy, "I told you he's hilarious."

"But you said they're all religious here", says Carrie, still smiling.  I am wondering if smiling is this woman's default mode.  She is wearing tight blue jeans and an aqua pullover sweater.  Her hair is blond with highlights and sweeps just past her shoulders.  Like a super model.

Then looking around, as though to compensate for her lack of tact, Carrie says, "This is one awesome place you have here."

"It was built over a century ago by our great grandfather", says Carl.  "He made his fortune in the silver mines of Indonesia, which was then in Dutch hands.  We are Dutch, Melissa and I."

"So, Carlos", says Carol, "You would be then, Chinese Venezuelan.

"I am Venezuelan."

"But, Chinese ancestry."

Jesús says, "He is Venezuelan. He speaks, walks and is pure Venezuelan."

The Peacock 735

 "Are we going out for lunch again?" says Adam.

"I believe that is the plan", Carl replies.  "The owners are coming by to get poked with us"

"Jabbed", says Melissa.

"Whatever."

"My big brother is more like my little brother", she says, rolling her eyes.

"You're everyone's little brother Carl", says Matthew, chuckling.

"It's my life calling", says Carl, grinning.  Someone is ringing the doorbell.  Melissa gets up to answer it.  There are several voices in the vestibule, and she returns to the room with the owners of the diner in tow, Tommy, Carlos, and an attractive woman in her thirties, tall who appears very sure of herself.  

As they seat themselves in three comfy chairs, Tommy says, "Hello everybody.  I would like to introduce to you my wife, Carrie."  She looks up, smiles and nods.  "And all of you know my uncle, Carlos."

"And you would be", says Carol.

"I'm Tommy.  We own the diner up the road.  I don't think we've seen you yet,  uh.."

"My name is Carol, and I am a guest here, and this is Sheila, who lives here, and I think you already know her son, Michael, and that is Glen over there, and of course you must already know Melissa, Carl's sister.  Would you and your uncle happen to be from Hong Kong?"

"I'm from here, but I've lived in Hong Kong and my uncle Carlos is from Venezuela..."

"And I'm from Toronto", says Carrie illuminating the room with her dazzling smile...

The Peacock 734

 Carl announces, "The nurse is coming at 10 to give us all a poke."

"Jab", corrects Melissa.

"Oh, my prissy little sister!.

"Let's keep it appropriate."

"Suitable for family viewing", says Sheila, deadpan.

Carl's phone is ringing.  He looks at it, then answers, "Hello?...  Oh, yes, hi.  ... We're in a meeting...Covid vaccination, why don't you both come? ... Oh sure, I understand..Okay, come by at ten, is that too soon notice.  No....Great, see you then."

"That was Tristan's mom.  She's coming to get poked, and to pick up her little son's teddy bear.

"Ah, isn't that sweet", says Michael, as the two exchange  conspiratorial grins.

"She also has some questions for us, apparently her darling little boy has been telling her all kinds of horse shit about us, she doesn't want to believe it, so this should be an opportune time for some bridge building."

"I thoroughly agree", says Carol.

"And tomorrow, Chris and I will be going to Vancouver where we will be staying in his apartment.  We will be back Wednesday evening or afternoon or so with his friend, Mother and her two sidekicks in tow.  Wish us luck."

"Why do you have to be gone three days for that?" says Melissa.

"Chris' friend arrives Tuesday, Mom and the others Wednesday, it would save a lot of driving and gas if we just went into town.  I'm taking the van, and while  we're there we can get it serviced.."

The Peacock 733

 Melissa has just come in and sits down next to her brother.  "What's this I just heard", she said.

"Chris' friend is coming from Sweden on Tuesday and he will be staying here."

"Since when."

"Since now."

"No one has said anything to me about it."

"I just did."

"But we have Mom and those two coming Wednesday."

"mel, how many bedrooms do we have in this house."

"You tell me."

Thirty-five, right?"

"Okay."

"And how many are occupied?"

"Let's see, we have eighteen on our end and the other seventeen in the community wing."

""And we have ten occasional room, and they could all be easily cnverted to guest rooms."

"Okay"

"Now, of the actual bedrooms, how many are occupied?"

"You tell me."

"You and I each have a bedroom  That's two  Plus Carol, Jesús, Christopher and Aaron, who never sleeps here, that's six.  With Francois now that makes seven.  We have eleven spare rooms, and with our four guests there will be seven..."

"I'm not going to argue with you, Carl."

"Thank you for your as always infallible common sense, little sister."

The Peacock 732

 Maureen, Sarah and Jennifer are all seated together on the sofa, and are going on giggling together like three fourteen year old girls on the back seat of the bus.  Others seem a little more staid and reticent than usual.  Carol and Sheila are seated side by side and conferring together in near whispers.  Adam and Lazarus are seated side by side on the love seat, staring blankly into space.  Glen has parked himself beside me and has just asked me about how I slept.

"Not too bad, considering.  And I was on Skype this morning with my Swedish friend."

"Is he in Sweden?" Glen asks.

"Yes, but he's coming out here in a few days", and suddenly I remember that I have already invited Eric to come stay here.  Without getting permission, and now I do not know how I am going to redeem my way out of this faux pas.  Michael and Matthew are on opposite sides, Michael is next to George and Matthew is next to Jeffrey, as though they are engaged in some kind of illicit spouse swap.  Carl is seated to my right, so I'd might as well confess.  "Carl.  I was on Skype with Eric this morning, my ex-brother-in-law.  He is flying out here this Tuesday and I invited him to stay here with us in the house.  I'm sorry, I know I should have asked first...

"No problem, Chris, I am glad he's coming.  There's plenty of room."

"Seriously?"

Yes, seriously.  In fact, we could drive out to the airport to pick him up."

"But, won't you have to make an extra trip the next day, I mean to get your mother and friends?"

We'll take the van.  Hey, here's a brilliant idea.  Why don't you and I go to Vancouver tomorrow or Monday.  We'll stay a night or two in your apartment, pick, up your friend, then stay overnight again at your place and then go and get Mom and her friends.."

The Peacock 731

 "The thing is, now that we don't know about the future of this house, all bets are off."

"Speak for yourself, Carl", says Melissa.

"I always do", he says.  "But if Mom wants the house here so badly, well, maybe just let her have it, since I am thinking seriously of returning to Vancouver with you guys."

"I'm not going anywhere", says Melissa, decidedly shutting her laptop.  "Except to the meeting room.  I hear some of the others arriving now so we'd might as well all get ready."

"Where do these bowls go", asks Jesús.

"Over there on the top left."

"What about you mother's friends?" I ask Carl, following him out of the kitchen.

"Two wild cards.  I imagine they were both banished along with my mother, and I don't like the way any of this smells.  They were probably all asked to leave for good reason..."

The Peacock 730

 "So", says Carl, turning to the rest of us.  "You have met, sort of, our dear mother.  What do you think?"

"Is she well?" Carol asks, drying her hands on a dish towel.

"Physically or mentally?" says Melissa.

"Both."

"Physically", says Carl, "I don't think there are any problems with her.  As Aaron would say, she's built like three brick shit houses."

"I am convinced", says Melissa, "That Mom has an undiagnosed mental health disorder.

"Do you think she's trying to manipulate you?"

"That's all she's ever done", says Melissa.  "I don't quite swallow her destitute story, but there is something going on and she could be headed for a breakdown so of course, we have to do the right thing."

"Yes, of course", says Carl, "Yes, of course."

"What about the other two who want to come with her?" say I.

"Trouble here, sports fans", says Carl, who breaks into a theatrical maniacal laughter.  "Trouble here"

The Peacock 729

 "Okay, but just you", says Carl.   "Not the other two."

"But, Frida and John were both thrown out with me.  And they have no resources to rely on.  Like everyone else in the community they took a vow of poverty, and if I leave them here they will be destitute.  Carl, Melissa, please, you must let us come.  You are our only hope."

"On one condition", says Carl, "And on one condition only.  "You three have to promise to respect and cooperate with every one of our directives while you are staying here.  Can you do that?"

"But, what about Robert and Douglas."

"They are not welcome here.  Carl and I have taken over the leadership here, Mom", says Melissa.  "I'm afraid you will have no option but to cooperate and abide by our wishes."

"Very well then."

"Is there anything else, Mom", says Carl.

"I just want to say, as your mother, how much I love and cherish both of you.  And how proud I am of you both, Carl and Melissa.  And  grateful..."

The Peacock 728

 "Mom", says Melissa, "What do you know about Douglas"

"I happen to know him rather well, and I think he was the ideal man to lead your community."

"Wait a minute, Ma", says Carl, "How do you know him".

"Why, on Skype, of course.  Robert introduced us a couple of years ago, and Douglas would frequently consult with me for advice on how to lead your community."

"I can't believe what I am hearing", says Carl.

"He is a delightful man, very caring, very devoted and very spiritually gifted.  How could you possibly throw him out like that, and have him escorted by police?"

"Our own mother", says Melissa, now sounding shocked and shaken, and this will be the first time I have heard real emotion in her voice, apart from when I saw her crying yesterday."

"Mom", says Carl, "Please don't come.  Please, stay in Switzerland."

"But I can't dear.  Didn't you know?"

"Know what?"

"I have been thrown out of the community here.  I have nowhere else to go.  Please, let me come and stay with you."

"Where are you right now?"

"In a hotel room in Zurich.  And it's getting expensive and I'm running out of money."  And now she is weeping...

The Peacock 727

 "According to Robert", says Astrid, "You, Melissa, strong-armed your way into Douglas' office while he was applying discipline to a recalcitrant member, and you violently assaulted him and took the recalcitrant member away to live with you both in your part of the house.  That is insubordination and it is disunity, and I am not going to stand for any of that."

"That is what Robert told you?" says Melissa in  toneless voice.

"More or less."

"Douglas was about to thrash a Roman Catholic priest whom he had somehow enslaved because he was black and Douglas wielded a diabolical power over everyone in this community.  Francois was prostrated naked, and I had to go in there, shove Douglas out of the way so he couldn't harm him then get Francois out of there."

"You say that he's black."

"What difference does that make!" says Carl, almost yelling.

"Well, he is a descendant of Ham, one of the sons of Noah on whom God put a curse that he must serve his brethren for all time as a slave..."

"You actually believe that shit!" says Carl, now losing his temper."

"My son, that is in the Bible and the Bible happens to be the Word of God  and about your use of language young man, and to speak that way to your own mother..."

The Peacock 726

 "Why do you want to bring those two", says Carl.

"I understand from Robert that our house needs to bet in order."

"OUR house?", says Carl.

"Well, isn't it the family home."

"The house is in my name", says Carl.  "That was the way Dad wanted things."

"Jan wanted one last chance to get me from the grave", says Astrid, their mother.  "But it is still my house as much as it is yours because I happen to be your mother."

"It is my house", says Csrl, "From Dad, bequeathed formally and legally to me long after you divorced him.  You have no stake in here Mom."

"We'll see about that."

"Carl is right, Mother", says Melissa, trying to maintain calm.  "It is Carl's.  Even I have to do as he says,"

"Usually it's the opposite", says Carl, grinning.

"It is God's house and the rules of man do not apply here.  It is God's house and therefore it is OUR house", says Astrid calmly."

"I am the rightful owner", says Carl in a quiet growl,  "therefore I am the Lord's spokesman about what happens here and no one else.

"This house needs to be set in order", says Astrid.  "What is this that Robert tells me about how you overthrew both him and the leader of the community, expelled and banished them both from here?"

"Do you really want the full story?" says Carl.  "What they did here was very ugly..."

The Peacock 725

 While Jesús and Carol and I launch into the clean up, Carl and Melissa are seated at the kitchen table with Melissa's laptop.  We hear the maddening ding dong of the Skype ring tone.  Carol is washing, Jesús is drying, and I am wiping down and putting things in their place.

"Hello, mother", says Melissa.  "Carl is here, so we can all talk about things."

"Good morning, Carl"! chimes an effervescent Dutch accented woman's voice.  She sounds sweet and mellifluous.

"Hi Mom", says Carl.  "It must be your dinner time right now."

"We have just eaten, dear.  And you must have already had your breakfast."

"Oh, yes.  Granola, toast and fruit.  It's your recipe for homemade granola  . Everyone loves it."

"I am honoured.  and so, it looks like we'll be seeing you in a few days."

"We?"

"Frida and John.  They have been an incredible help here at the community, and they're both looking forward to meeting both of you."

"Why are you bringing them?"

"Carl, I hear other people in the room with you.  Could you two maybe move to a private room so we could talk more openly?"

"Here is good", says Melissa.

"But, could you ask them please to leave the room?"

"They are not going anywhere.  In fact, we want them here as witnesses."

Their mother begins to speak in Dutch.

"We are having this conversation in English, Mother", says Carl, sharply, "or we are not having this conversation at all."

"As you wish", says their mother, defeated...

The Peacock 724

 "Actually, Aaron", she says, "You are spot on, as usual.  We are grumpy this morning.  Could it be vaccination nerves?"

"Mother nerves", mutters Melissa.

"Oh yes", says Carol, sounding cheerily nervous, "She will be coming next week, won't she?"

"I got a text from her this morning", says Melissa to Carl.  "She still insists on bringing her two companions, and I have already told her they will all be staying in a hotel if she does it.  The war has begun."

"Let's both get her on Skype after breakfast", says Carl.  "United front."

"Your mother sounds like a very determined woman", says Francois.

"And then some", says Carl.  "And then some."

"What are you going to say to her."

"That she comes alone or she stays in Switzerland."

"And if she comes anyway with her companions?"

"There will be no one meeting her at the airport, and she doesn't know the directions of how to get here, so she'd might as well enjoy a tourist's visit to Vancouver, because she won't be coming here."

723

 Breakfast is simple and unpretentious this morning.  Melissa has set out several boxes of cereal, a couple of loaves of bread and the toaster is on the table for all to use,  and there is a big bowl of oranges and a couple of bunches of ripening bananas.  There is a big four litre jug of milk on the table, a jar of brown sugar, and a pitcher of orange juice with several glasses at the ready., and various jars of jam and peanut butter.  And coffee.  Breakfast is just us, because the community does their own thing in their wing of the house.  No one appears interested in talking and Jesús is scrolling on his smartphone.

"Put it away Jesús", says Melissa, a bit grumpier than usual.

"I am reading a text from my mom in Bogotá."

"She can wait.  You're being rude."

"You're being rude", Carl says to his sister.  "Let him look at his phone if he wants."

"I agree with Melissa", says Carol.  "Jesús, there is a time and a place.  Do you understand?" she adds, trying to sweeten her tone a little.

"I understand", says Jesús, putting his phone in his pocket.  "I apologize."

"Hey", says Carl, trying to lighten things up, "Is everyone ready to get poked this morning?"

"Carl", growls Melissa, "Must you?"

"Must I what?"

"Bring sex into everything.  You really are getting a bit old for this, you know:"

"Hey Mel, it ain't my mind that's in the gutter."

"As you wish", she says flatly, getting up to bring over the coffee pot."

"Aren´t we a cheerful and happy lot today", says Aaron, grinning.

"Oh, do shut up", barks Carol, and then she starts to laugh...

The Peacock 722

 "So, perhaps on the strength of his looks, he could still be accepted as a de facto Swede."

"De facto.perhaps, but there's a certain sense of Swedishness that you only get if your family has been here for a few hundred years."

"What about the Sami."

"What about them?"

"Weren't they already there thousands of years before Indo European tribes swept into Scandinavia just four thousand years ago, or so?"

"There were several waves of settlement, yes, but it's very complex and I'm afraid I don't know my own history as well as I ought.  What are you doing today, since it is just morning where you are?"

"I'm just heading downstairs for breakfast, then the community health nurse is coming to give us our covid vaccinations.  It turns out that she might be related to the owners of this house, so it could get interesting."

"Listen, I'm due to go out for drinks and dinner with some friends from school.  They're going to see me off.  Can we talk Monday?"

"Don't see why not."

"I really wish I were with you right now Christopher.  I wish I could tell you how much I really miss you.  But yes, I think I'm going to stay with you in your big house."

"What time Monday do you want to talk?"

"Same as today good for you?"

"Perfect."

"Bye"

See you Monday, Eric.  Give my best to Greta.  That's all I can say right now."

"I understand.  See you."

The Peacock 721

 Let me see if I can remember them all:  There's Glen, he's older, really kind and gentle, sort of a mystic, doesn't say much.  There is Michael and His mother Sheila.  They're both older, I think Sheila is in her eighties.  Really strong, interesting lady.  There's Francois, younger in his twenties, a priest.  He is black, his mother is from Rwanda.  There are the two gay priests, now a married couple, George who is filipino  and Jeffery..."

"Wait a minute, did you just say two gay priests?  And they're married to each other?"

"Seems like a long story.  Then there's Matthew, he is older, almost as old as Sheila  and his ex partner, Michael, who I said is Sheila's son..."

"Ex-partner?  How many of them are gay?"

"A few, but not everyone.  Francois is straight as are two of the other three ladies, Maureen and Jennifer, but Sarah is lesbian, and there's a few others, as well, or two anyway, Adam and Lazarus.you'll find yourself very much at home here, I think, Eric."

"Let me think about it, but the answer is probably yes.  Greta says hello, by the way."

"How is her Turkish husband, by the way?"

"Mehmet is good, busy with his work in IT.  Did I tell you, by the way, that he looks just like a Swede?"

"No way."

"Here, just a sec', I'll send you his photo...

After a few seconds, the image appears, a handsome blonde and blue eyed young man...

The Peacock 720

 There are three other guests here besides me.  One is an older guy, Aaron, in his sixties.  He's an artist and writer, and traveller, speaks fluent Spanish and spends  lot of his time in Latin America.  Also  very strong Christian.  And very funny.  And there's Jesús, from Colombia.  He is around your age, a journalist, and came here as a refugee because his life was in danger in Colombia.  He is really nice, really quiet.  Hard to get to know, but seems to have quite an interesting past.  And Carol, also in her sixties.  She is actually very famous, a concert pianist and you might have heard of her, Carol Barlow-Meade?"

"I was just listening to her play Rachmaninov on the radio this morning.  You actually know her?"

"She's quite a piece of work.  Very British, loves to eat, amazing conversationalist, and loves playing devil's advocate.  They have a baby grand here that she plays on.

"Lucky you.  What about the others?  You said there are other people living there...

The Peacock 719

 "Tell me more."

"What specifically would you like to hear."

"Start with the great grandchildren."

"Carl and Melissa?  They're siblings, Carl is thirty-nine, looks a lot younger, and Melissa would be, I think, thirty-four.  They both grew up in Amsterdam, and lived for a while with their mother in Switzerland.  They're super wealthy, but you'd never know it, they're really down to earth and unpretentious.  Carl is a journalist, and Melissa works in artistic design, she is also a trained chef and the most incredible cook I've known.  She has Asperger's, so can come across as grumpy and taciturn, but really has a heart of gold and will really stick out her neck for others.  She also has a black belt in karate, so you could call her a force to be reckoned with.  Carl has one of the most amazing senses of humour I've ever reckoned with, he's like a big kid, and full of love for others, kind of a party boy, but very gentle, and very direct.  He was a male prostitute as a teenager in Amsterdam, but left that life behind.  He is also quite a flirt!"

"He flirts with you?"

"Shamelessly.  We seem to have become pretty close friends, and spend a lot of time together."

"Don't make me jealous!"

"Fear not.  It's all pretty innocent."

"You said there are others."

The Peacock 718

 "How long are you going to be there?"

"At least another month.  Or if you want, you could stay in the condo alone and wait for me."

"I want to be with you. Can't you cut it short."

"There's too much going on.  I have to be here for a while.  You see, it involves a lot of other people.  Why don't you come stay here, there is lots of room, the grounds and the gardens are vast and beautiful, and the people here are out of this world.  By the way, I thought you weren't coming till July?"

"I said I want to be with you.  Christopher, you don't know how much I've missed you all these years."

"Then come here, till we're ready to go back to Vancouver."

"Can you tell me about the place, anyway?"

"It's a sixty room tudor style mansion that looks like it was lifted from an English country estate and planted here in the BC wilderness.  It was built by a wealthy Dutchman well over a hundred years ago, and now it's run and occupied by his great grandchildren, Carl and Melissa, both in their thirties, really amazing and hospitable people.  There is also a community of Christians here, along with three other guests besides myself.  The people here are awesome, really interesting, and I think you'll be a good fit here."

"Thing is, I'm not a Christian."

"Doesn't matter.  There's no pressure, they're very easy going and pretty sophisticated.

"Do you guys have services and stuff?"

"Not really.  It is really informal.  I have never seen the like."

"Hm.. I guess I could give it a try..."

The Peacock 717

He has a shadow of a beard, that really trendy look that a lot of middle class gay men wear.  Funny how they always look like clones, as though none of those twinks has ever had an original thought in their pretty little heads.  I wonder if he's come out yet?

"Christopher!" and he beams a smiling warmth more Mediterranean than Nordic.  He still looks almost exactly like his sister, except his eyes are brown, not blue.  A warm amber.  "It is so good to see you!  How are you, man!"

"Good.  What time is it right now where you are?"

"Five in the afternoon.  Where are you?"

"I'm in a huge mansion in the wilderness, about a three hour drive from Vancouver."

"Sounds romantic.  Is it a resort."

"More of a Christian retreat house.  Where are you right now?"

"In my apartment in Stockholm.  I am slowly getting ready to move out."

"Where are you going?"

"I'm coming to stay with you in Vancouver.  Remember?"

"Oh, yes, of course."

"How long are you away on your retreat?"

"When are you thinking of coming?"

"My flight is booked for May 15."

"Then you might want to come here and stay with us here for a while..."

The Peacock 716

 Now it's 7:48.  Just time for a shower, then Skype for thirty minutes with Erik, then downstairs for breakfast.  No peacock crying today, but we saw him, three of us, Carl, François and I, all saw together the peacock.  And Carl doesn't have a clue about its provenance.

Just two minutes under the shower, and now back in my room, towelling myself dry.  There is a notification on my Skype icon.  A little red dot.  Eric saying, Hello Christopher.  Maybe I'll go online with him naked.  Wouldn't that make his day.  Or maybe scare him to death.  Okay, clean shorts, socks, clean shirt, this is a button down burgundy number that I really love, and black jeans.  My don't I look spiffy right now!

"Hi Erik. Ready!

The annoying ringtone of Skype, ding dang dong, dong ding ding, ding dang dong, dong ding ding, ding dang...

And there he is.  He doesn't look much different, just maybe a little more himself, since he is ten years older now than when I last saw him.  He breaks into a wide smile...

The Peacock 715

Here I am, alone again, naturally.  Well, this is strange.  I have been around people nonstop all day long, morning noon and night.  And I should think that by now I would be glad to have time to myself, lying here alone in bed in the dark, awaiting the long-coveted sleep.  But, I still feel like we're together, Carl, Francois and I.  Nothing so adolescent cheesy as like the Three Musketeers, but still something very strong and very special that binds us three together.  Well, naturally.  This is an artificial environment, why wouldn't we all fuse together and cling to one another?  The stories I have heard today, about Francois and his mother, the dark and shocking revelations in Kenny's diary, and all the others.  This is such a kaleidoscope of persons and information.  but I still know who I am.  I still know my name.  No longer Cosme.  I am, as I have always been, Christopher Edward Jones.  Victorian, perhaps Edwardian.  How very British Anglican.  Rather a quaint sounding set of names.  My father's only son.  My mother a Mexican, long dead. And now my father, too, is dead.  And here I lie alone in the dark.  Sarah sang so beautifully today.  I hope that she collaborates with Carol...

I don't know if I slept enough.  It is 5:52.  And the early sun creeps in like streams of molten copper fire.  I forgot to close the curtains.  As if it matters here.  I did sleep well, I think just six hours, but I feel surprisingly rested.  And that dream.  Ducks.  Mallards. Males with their grey and chestnut bodies and iridescent green heads, and the brown mottled females, all trying to organize themselves on black and white linoleum, like a huge chessboard...more than two hours before I have to go on Skype with Erik, and I will see if I can sleep a bit more...

The Peacock 714

"One other piece of news", says Melissa, pausing at the kitchen doorway.  "I got a phone call from Tristan's nom.  She wants to come over here tomorrow morning.  Apparently, her son left his teddy bear behind.  Jenn says she's already located it.  She also wants to stay and talk to us, that she has a whole bunch of questions."

"Aw, how sweet", says Carl in a mock nursery little voicy-poo.  "The little boy forgot his wittle teddy bear and mommy is coming over to get it for him.  Aw, isn't that 'tweet."

"Carl", says Melissa flatly, "It's past your bedtime."

"Nighty-night, sister dearest", he says as we all follow her out of the kitchen and Carl turns off the light.  Quietly we three ascend the grand staircase, then the stairs up to the attic.  As Carl pauses by his borrowed room, he says, "Anyone for a nightcap?"

"What did you have in mind?" says Francois smiling.

"I smuggled up a big bag of potato chips earlier.  Anyone still hungry?"

"Nope. Bedtime." says Francois.

"Ditto", I agree.

"Goodnight. " Carl says, grinning.  "Party-poopers."

"Good night, party boy", says François.

"Goodnight", I concur, swiftly and quietly closing behind me the door of what was once Carl's boyhood room...

The Peacock 713

 "Your mom sounds like a real piece of work", say I.

"We don't know what happened to her over the years in Switzerland", says Carl, "But she seems to have changed, and not for the better."

"Shrill, rightwing and controlling", says Melissa.  "Anyway you guys, thanks for the cheese and crackers, and I should be getting off to bed."

"Since we're up a bit late, maybe we could have breakfast later, at nine," says Carl.

"Eight thirty", says Melissa.  "We've got the health nurse coming at ten.  Anyway, it'll be nothing fancy, just cereal and toast."

"I'm ready to turn in", says Glen, heading towards the other wing of the house.  "Thanks you guys.  I mean it."

"With pleasure", says Carl, who approaches him and gives him a big hug.  Then Carl turns to me and says, "I'm sleeping in your part of the house tonight."

"Boy's club?" says Melissa sourly.

"Yep", says her brother, as he puts the food away, places the glasses and plates in the sink...

"

The Peacock 712

 "Did Mom say anything about Robert", says Carl, now sounding really worried.

"I told her what happened.  She was appalled, and insists that he be invited back to the house.  I told her that without an apology to Francois and a true display of open repentance that he will not be welcome here again.  Then she really started to bare her fangs."

"Oh no.  What did she say?"

"I'm not sure if it would be appropriate to repeat right now, because this could really be hurtful to you, Francois."

"Fear not, Melissa", says Francois.  I am an adult."

"Okay.  here goes.  Mom said, and I will not repeat verbatim but she did use the n word, but that she did not want politically correct propaganda disgracing the work of the gospel.  That was when I started yelling."

"Mel, do you really think we should let her stay here?"

"Well, she is our mother, after all.  The only one we have."

"When she arrives, then, we are both going to have to talk to her right away, to tell her the birds and the bees."

"In private."

"Not in private.  She is going to have to face Francois and all the rest of us here in this house."

"If that happens, she will be on the next plane back to Zurich."

"So be it", says Carl.

"Yes, amen."

The Peacock 711

 "What exactly is up?" he says.

"I was just on Skype with her, which is why I'm still awake.  She is planning on bringing with her two of her acolytes from Switzerland. She didn't say who, but I told her that if that is her plan, then she should just stay in Switzerland.  We got into quite a fight about it.

"You stood up to her?" says Carl, incredulous.

"I am sick and tired of being that woman's puppet.  Carl, these last few days have been quite an eye opener for me, but among other things, we have to start putting a stop on Mother.  She will only respond to brute force, I'm afraid."

"You don't know how relieved I am to hear you say that, Mel."

"She has gotten away with far too much."

"So what did she say?"

"She started yelling and screaming and threatening, but I just told her that if she does not come alone, then not to consider herself welcome here."

"She is determined to take over, as usual."

"I did remind her that this house is in your name, and that what you say goes, so she will have to reckon with her dear little son."

"With help from her dear little daughter."

"That is already implied.  What wonderful cheese..."

The Peacock 710

 "Where is your sister now", says Francisco.

"Funny, I was just on the phone with her today.  We just resumed contact yesterday.  My first act of celebration with the banishment of Doug has been to re-establish contact with my sister.  and it is going so well.  She says she understands completely what was done to me, and she is going to come and visit me here in the next week or so.  I have really missed her.  And we're the only ones left, so we just have each other."

"I don't imagine we will be hearing from Doug again, anyway", says Carl.  "And as far as Melissa and I are both concerned, he is permanently banned from here.  There is only one problem."

"Mother", says Melissa's voice as she comes into the kitchen.  She is wearing a long magenta house coat, tied snugly at the waste, her hair hanging loosely over her shoulders.  "Why are you guys still up?"

"I was about to ask you the same question", says Carl.

"For a snack, and hey, cheese and crackers, don't mind if I do."  As she sits  down with us and cuts herself a slice of cheddar, she adds,"We don't know what to expect from Mother, Carl.  I am really afraid she us going to try to reinstate Griffin, and if he's back in the picture then we might not have seen the last of Doug."

"Isn't it time, Melissa, that you and I both took a united stand against our mother?" says Carfl.

"I exactly agree", says his sister, chewing now on a Breton, and that is exactly what we are going to do.  But here I have the latest about Mom..."

The Peacock 709

 "How about your mom?" says Carl.  Is she with us still?"

"She passed away just over a year ago", says Glen.

"I'm so sorry to hear that."

"She was ninety.  Her time had come."  Then Glen pauses, as though trying not to give voice to whichever words are already starting to fill his mouth along with the cheese and crackers he is devouring with gusto.  Suddenly he says, his voice almost trembling, "Doug wouldn't let me attend her funeral."

"What?" says Francois.

"He ordered me.  I don't suppose you or the others heard  anything.  One of his methods of control was by enforcing secrecy.  But he said that if I left the house here for my mother's funeral, then I would be banished from the community.  That I had to choose between God's work and my mother."

"That is simply outrageous!" says Carl.

"And then he forbade me to have any contact with my sister, Marlene, who is the only family I have left..."

The Peacock 708

 "Where did you go?" says Carl.

"I went to live with my mother for a few years in Victoria, about seven, I think, then I just really wanted to be free and alone again, so I returned to Vancouver, not sure where I was going, and then I ended up staying in Sheila's house with her and her son, Michael."

"Our Sheila and Michael."

"That's right.  And then it was the Community of the Transfiguration back on the Island, and now I'm here with you guys."

"How did you come to know Sheila?"

"I was couch surfing with Pierre, he had been Stephen's boyfriend up until when he died.  It turned out that he was friends with Michael.  It was kind of uncomfortable for Pierre because he still had feelings for me that I wasn't prepared to reciprocate, so Michael invited me to stay with him and his mom.

"Are you and Pierre still in touch?"

"No, we haven't spoken for almost twenty years.  I really don't know where he is now, or how he is..."

The Peacock 707

 "And it all developed from there?" say I.

"Pretty much.  I was running into difficulties with some neighbours where I lived, I had been living some years in an apartment on the top floor of an old house in East Vancouver, then a couple of coke dealers who were also pimps moved in, and the noise, the parties and their threats and violence became too much.  My mom asked me to come stay with her again, but Pamela had already beaten her to the draw.  Pamela was the lady who had the big mansion.  Plus, I felt called to stay with Stephen and his partner, Pierre, to help out.  Pierre didn't have AIDS, but he felt completely lost in space about giving Stephen the support he needed, and I already had some background and experience in caregiving.  So, I was there, then Margery moved in.

"Margery?"

"Also known as the Death Watch Lady.  A dear friend skilled in palliative care.  Then Martin, a young guy with HIV came to live with us, followed by Jason, and Paul.  Then a couple of more caregivers came and joined us.  Then came Michael, or Father Michael, the priest who was Stephen's biological father, and soon we were quite the full household.  There was also a strong, powerful sense of  God's presence in the place, and soon, people were refusing treatment and medications outside of pain relief, because there was this burgeoning collective desire that they all shared to come home to Jesus as soon as they possibly could.  Then the media caught on, and Persimmon Carlisle, who hosted a controversial news program, blew the lid off everything, and thanks to her coverage and publicity the health department intervened, shut the place down, and sent evryone into hospitals and other care facilities..."

The Peacock 706

 "We were living in a huge mansion in Shaughnessy", says Glen, then smiling glibly, adds, "I seem to have a tendency for living in mansions.  It was turned into a de facto AIDS hospice, and I was one of several people who lived there and served."

"That place was in the news for a while", say I.

"It became quite a scandal", says Glen.  ""Our beginnings were innocent enough.   This wealthy woman, British, a recent widow, felt called by God to open her home to the dying."

"Very noble of her", says Francois.

"Stephen, or Tanya, was her biological son, whom she abandoned in the BC wilderness.  He had AIDS and this was her atonement."

"Curiouser and curiouser", says Carl.  "There must be a story there."

"Always a journalist", says Francois, rolling his eyes.

"Back in the early sixties, she had an affair with a young Anglican priest in a small town near Kamloops.  She was visiting friends while her much older husband was on a very extended business trip.  Apparently it was a deal selling arms to the white Afrikaner forces in then apartheid South Africa."

"Interestinger and interestinger", says Carl, grinning.

"She gave birth in a cabin in the sticks with help from a native midwife, to whom she gave her child and was allegedly adopted by the band, but Stephen went from foster home to foster home and ended up hooking on the streets dressed as Tanya.  They met in a coffee shop, then one thing led to another.  Her husband was, at the time dying.  And shortly after he ended up living with her in her mansion..."

"

The Peacock 705

 "So, Christopher", says Glen, "Tell me more about your friend."

"Kenny?  He worked the streets for a number of years as a woman,  Went by the name Cassandra."

Glen does a double take.  "Cassandra?  I might have known her.  Medium length chestnut hair.  Often wore a dark blue cocktail dress at work, with a slit up the side?"

"That would be her."

"How did you end up knowing her?"  And I know that Glen is trying not to emphasize the how did YOU end up knowing HER? but I still detect it in his tone.

"Long story.  Basically, my dad, who was an Anglican priest, rescued him from the street and he lived with us for his last few years.  We all became very close.  How did you know Kenny, Glen?" say I by way of retaliation.

"He was a friend of Stephen's.  Stephen was a friend who worked as a transvestite hooker named Tanya.

"I heard of her, or him, or them.  How did you know Stephen, or Tanya", I reply, almost being afraid to find out.

"He adopted me in the eighties, and we were close friends.  I was with him when he died thirty years ago from AIDS..."

The Peacock 704

 "What have you guys been up to?" Glen asks.

"We were up in Chris's room while he read to us from his dead friend's journal", says Carl.

"that sounds very intriguing.  What became of your friend?"

"he died almost three decades ago", say I, "Likely suicide, but we don't know for sure.  So we're looking at his diary to see if there are any clues."

"I'm so sorry", says Glen.  "Any leads so far."

"We do have a suspect", says Francois, "But know one knows what happened to him.  He might even have died with Christopher's friend."

"We can't know that for sure", says Carl.

"That sounds really interesting", says Glen, biting into a piece of cheese.

"what have you been up to this evening?" says Carl.

"Oh, this and that.  I was just out for a long walk in the dark.  Trying to process everything, things have been so intense around here lately.  Then when I got back I had a good talk with Aaron.  He thinks I should consider going back to Vancouver with some of you, that I have to start facing real life again.  He's right, you know, I have I think an escapist gene in my system, and Aaron is pretty good at confronting me about stuff."

"He has an excellent bullshit monitor", says Carl.  "In fact, sometimes he's terrifying."

"You can sure say that again."

"Mm. once is enough methinks..."

"

The Peacock 703

 "You don't think", says Carl

"That he might have killed Kenny?" say I.  "Anything's possible, but I would say that is plausible."

"You're going on Skype with your ex-brother-in-law tomorrow.   He might know something.  Ask him"

"I'm going to."

"Oh, hi."

Glen comes into the kitchen, looking a little bit tired and lost.

"Oh, hi", he says.  I thought I heard some voices down here.  I was just up reading, so I thought I'd come down and say good night to everyone."

"Are we disturbing you?" says Francois.

"Oh, not at all."

"Help yourself to some cheese and crackers", says Carl, "before we eat it all."

"Don't mind if I do", he says, pulling up a chair.

"Here", says Francois, getting up, and winking at Carl, "let me get you a plate."

The Peacock 702

 "Long story short, they did apprehend Lindstrom, and he ended up in a mental hospital.  It's a facility on the campus.  Kenny and I went to visit him a few times, and it was, shall we say, pretty bizarre.  This guy was dressed in yellow hospital pyjamas and hardly interacted with us.  He would simply stare quietly into space, sometimes hum, or mutter to himself, but it really was as if we weren't even there.  Then one day, just before Christmas, Kenny said he was going to see Lindstrom alone.  I wasn't sure if it was a good idea, but he insisted.  That was when they both disappeared."

"Oh, really?" says Carl, nibbling on a cracker.

"Two days later, Kenny's body was found washed up on Ambleside beach.  He had apparently jumped from the Lion's Gate Bridge, though that theory is questionable.  There was evidence of blunt force trauma on his skull."

"What about Lindstrom?"

"They never found him..."

The Peacock 701

 "Let's go home, said Kenny to me, gently touching my arm.  I still felt paralyzed, hardly able to move.  Something really powerful had overwhelmed me through this guy's touch, and for a while, Kenny and I walked together in silence, more or less in the direction of the house.  We were home in about twenty minutes, and after taking off our coats and shoes, we went straight to the kitchen.  Dad was seated there, reading a newspaper and drinking tea.  We joined him.  Looking up at both of us, he said only, What happened, you look like you just saw something incredibly monstrous.  I told him bout Lindstrom, describing him carefully.  Then Dad said that he had seen him recently in the driveway, asking for Kenny, at which time we both looked together at Kenny for an explanation.  He replied, he thinks he's my father and will not leave me alone.  Isn't he rather on the young side to have sired you, my father said.  My point exactly, said Kenny.  This guy is truly a mental case.  Dad called the police...

The Peacock700

 Carl has also produced a big green bottle of San Pellegrino mineral water and three glasses.  I am just gathering my thoughts.  This is not easy to remember, but I think I have a fairly decent recall of what happened.  It was a long time ago, almost three decades.

"I'm not sure how trustworthy my memory is going to be.  It was a long time ago.  But we were closing.  It was eight in the evening, and I saw him seated at a table near the door.  My coworker, Janice, had already left, and except for Lindstrom, if it was Lindstrom, I was alone.  I was just putting on my coat, and he was still there, seated quite comfortably, and staring into space.  I told him we're closed now.  He didn't appear to notice me.  Sir, I said, standing over him, the café is closed.  I'm locking up and going home, and you can't stay here.  Then, he replied, I shall walk with you.  Preferring to avoid conflict,  I opened the door, and waited as Lindstrom got up to join me.  I locked the door, then he motioned to his left and said, This way.  I said, no, I am going this way, and just as I tried to walk away, I felt his very strong hand grip my shoulder.  I tried, but could not pull away from him.  I was paralyzed.  He stood and stared at me intently, still holding me by the shoulder.  I could neither move nor speak.  He kept staring as though peering right into my deepest soul.  It was then that I heard someone shout, Chris!.  It  was Kenny.  Then he told Lindstrom to let me go.  He didn't budge, so Kenny launched into his Harriet voice, hey big handsome Nordic studly, don't damage my little brother or you get nothing tonight.  Lindstrom lifted his hand from my shoulder, then walked away, and Kenny stood there waiting until he was out of sight...

The Peacock 699

 The house is dark and silent throughout.  Everyone has gone up to bed already.  Carl seems to have an instinctive feel for all the rooms and passageways and stairs we have to negotiate in the dark, and Francois and I both follow very closely behind.  In the kitchen, be both sit down at the table while Carl goes through the pantry and fridge for a couple of boxes of Breton crackers and a lovely wedge of vintage cheddar.

"What?" says Francois in mock indignation.  "No plates?"

"You know where they are", says Carl as he rips open the first box of crackers.

Francois calls his bluff and gets up and returns with three white plates with gold rims.  "Anything to drink?"

"It worked", says Carl, chuckling.

"Oh, fuck off and cut me some cheese, big guy", says Francois, smiling.

"Your wish is my command, padre."  Then turning to me, he says, "By the way, that was quite a read you treated us to tonight, Chris."

"I am every bit as amazed as you are", say I.

"You mean to say that you had no idea?  None at all?"

"Wait a minute", say I just before taking my first bite of cracker.  I do recall something.  At the café where I worked, just a few nights before he died..."

The Peacock 698

 "What do you say we call it a night?" say I, glancing furtively at the three soiled dinner plates and cutlery on the tray on top of the desk.

"Anyone feel like a snack?" says Carl.

"What do you have in mind?" says Francois.  "Yikes, it's almost eleven."

"Cheese and crackers downstairs?"

"Not a bad idea", say I, still feeling wide awake and a bit peckish for some reason.  "Just for a couple of minutes anyway."

Carl picks up the tray with the dirty plates and leads us to the door.  "You know", he says, "We're due for another reading of Cosme's journal.  Maybe Jesús and Aaron arre still around"...

"Not at this hour", says Francois, as we all move into the corridor.  "It's late and almost past our bedtime...."

The Peacock 697

 "Lindstrom sounds a lot like Adam", says Francois.

"You mean they're both nephilim."

"No, I mean they're both batshit crazy."

"Is that what it really is?" say I, rather oblivious now to the half empty bag of chocolate chips sitting deflated and neglected and ignored next to me on the bed.

"What else could it be?" says Francois.

I reach for the chocolate chips and absentmindedly dig in my hand.  They no longer taste so nice, a little strong and harsh now that the thrill is gone.

"Well", say I, "Then I also must be batshit crazy."

"Francois", says Carl.  "Congratulations.  You are the only sane person in the room."

"What else could it be?" says Francois.

"Maybe the line between mental illness and spiritual realities is a lot more blurred than we would like it to be..."

The Peacock 696

 "One more, please", says Carl.

"Alright, but then we're  done", say I.  "Next day, October 21.

"I saw him again.  and now this is all starting to make sense.  And I am scared shitless.  He was waiting for me, just in front of the house.  I was on my way home from work, and he just said, please can we walk together for a while.  I have things to tell you.

I have been following you all this time, because you have knowledge that was imparted to you at birth, and we have to bring it forth in you.  This is why your life took a self-destructive direction for so many years,  You have been running from your calling, you have been fleeing from your true nature.  You are my son, but I cannot tell you more, because I also have forgotten.  This has been my fate, the fate of many of my companions here.  Our memory of what we are and where we are from, has limits, and we often slip in and out of this.  When I have been remembering, I have been trying to contact you, to also summon you to your true essence, but I am little help, I'm afraid, because I am also often lost and confused.  If you and I can dwell together for a while, then we can also help each other recover, but there is only a small window of time for this, because already I am starting to fade again...

This was when Lindstrom suddenly stopped talking,  He looked suddenly dazed and lost, looked at me oddly, then turned around and walked away from me...

The Peacock 695

 "Here's October 20", say I.

"What a day.  I think I'm finally feeling a little more together after yesterday.  Still can't figure it out.  Vince says he has never seen anything like it.  He actually had the foresight to record everything and I just replayed it a couple of times,.  He had me under hypnosis, second tine, and I still don't remember what happened.  but this is what I said, or what came out of my mouth while I was under.

This is my son and my servant through whom I am speaking.  You do not and cannot know me.  My provenance is not a place, nor a time, but perhaps what you would call a dimension.  We walk among you, and we watch, monitor and supervise you  You are our children and we are your servants, and you have made a dangerous mess of what we have given you, and now we are calling you to account  You do not know who you are, and if you knew you would not be able to bear it.  You are not merely highly intelligent simians, but the product of a process of a highly selective breeding that happened before what you call time.

You, humans, homo sapiens sapiens have the highest calling on this planet and one of the highest in your known universe, and you have fallen from so great a height that very few will ever be restored to your original purity.  And so shall many perish.  The catastrophe that is enveloping this planet, this most beautiful jewel in the cosmos, will soon work its tragic end.  many will perish, and the few that survive will reconnect with their ancestral calling and will become the instruments of healing and recovery for your earth, to which you were all originally called."

The Peacock 694

 "But what about when your mother comes?" say I.

"My point exactly.  It seems to look like she is wanting to set up permanent residence here", says Carl.  "Hey you guys, how about living with me in Vancouver.  We can get a big lovely house in Shaughnessy and set up an urban community together."

"What about your sister?" says Francois.

"She'll stay here with Mom.  She is a devoted daughter, you know."

"You really want to get away from her", says Francois.

"My mother or Melissa?"

"Both?" I ask.

"You know, I have never lived away from my sister.  And I'm almost forty."

"What do you reckon will happen to the big house here?" I ask.

"Mom can take over with Melissa for all I care.  I just don't want to fight with her any more.  I imagine some of the others will also want to stay, so they won't be too lonely.  Hey, do you want to read another page or two, or are we done?"

"It's ten thirty now.  How about one more entry, and we can call it a night", say I

The Peacock 693

 "She might know something", says Carl.  "Are you still in touch?"

"With Greta, no.  But her younger brother looked me up a few days ago, and we visited on Skype.  In fact, we're supposed to talk again tomorrow morning."

"Any idea of why he suddenly wants to talk to you?" says Francois.

"He is set to start postgraduate work at UBC this September and has asked if he could stay with me.  I've said yes, but I still don't know what I'm going to be doing."

"When is he coming?" says Carl, looking a bit worried.

"He wants to come as soon as possible, but I am asking him to wait until July, because I think I'm going to need time to figure out my future here with you guys."

"Or there in Vancouver with you guys", says Carl.  "I'm seriously contemplating buying a place in Vancouver.  A big house.  What do you think?"

"Well", says Francois, "You are pretty loaded."

"Flattery will get you nowhere, you big handsome boy!"

The Peacock 692

 "And what was this about him being Kenny's father?" say I.  "Really strange, because they would have been around the same age."

"Ever hear of the Nephilim?" says Carl.

"They were...?" says Francois.

"They were hybrids of angels and human beings that apparently were descended from angelic visitors before the Flood."

"And", says Francois, "They were very tall. They were giants."

"Well, Kenny", say I, "Was no nepha whatchamacallit.  He was normal height.  And I don't think Lindstrom was any angel."

"Do you think the guy in the tow photographs was really the same as the guy you saw more than twenty years ago?" says Francois.

They might have just been doppelgangers", says Carl, "You're right, it's better that we keep rational heads about all this.  But what a humdinger of a story, eh?"

"I want to know two things" say I.  "What, if anything did this guy Lindstrom have to do with Kenny's death.  And what is my ex-wife's role in this, since she seemed to also know about him.."

The Peacock 691

 "That is so creepy", say I.  "Do you think Lindstrom had anything to do with your father's death."

"There seems to be some kind of gathering evidence."

"What about, what's his name, that Spanish guy?" says Francois, digging again into the bag of chocolate chips.  He proffers Carl the bag, who lightly shakes his head.

"Cosme", say I.

"That's right", says Carl. "Because he saw that tall blonde guy several times."

"But how old would he have been?""say I.

"There is that", says Carl.

"That was back in the sixties.  And he probably would have been in his thirties.  Your father would have died more than twenty years ago, just five years after Kenny died, so by then he would have been at least sixty."

"That guy Melissa and I saw would not have been more than thirty, max."

"Unless he was immortal", say I.

"He probably just had a good plastic surgeon", says Francois with a wry smile...

The Peacock 690

 "Dad did not want us, Melissa and I, to see this guy.  He would always send us packing up to our rooms when Lindstrom came over, but we both spied on them, and I remember him clearly."

"Did you overhear their conversations?" says Francois.  

"They talked about elders and meetings elsewhere on the property.  Lindstrom also, in his last couple of visits, seemed decidedly displeased with Dad, and I even heard him scold him for not being cooperative.  His very last visit happened the day before Dad shot himself.  He told him there were consequences and Dad, who had been drinking , started yelling and swearing at him and ordered him off the property.  And that's when the most chilling thing happened."

"What happened?" say I.

"Lindstrom, coolly and calmly told Dad, that his childish tantrums were not going to change anything, his destiny was already set, and that he should prepare for his destiny.  It was as though he simply did not have emotions.  Kind of like Mr. Spock from Star Trek, but way better looking and with normal ears..."

The Peacock 689

 "So that's Lindstrom", say I, staring hard at the two photos.  He is so good-looking as to appear artificially good-looking, like the work of an extremely talented cosmetic surgeon.  I have never in my life seen such perfect everything.  

"Show us", says Carl and I pass him the photos, which he studies intently with Francois.  Then Carl's expression changes and he appears to have gone pale.

"Something wrong?" I ask.

"Something very wrong", he says, "Very very wrong."

"What is it?"

"I know this guy."

"What?"

"He used to come here to visit my dad, years ago, when I was still a teenager.  Oh my God, this does not look good at all..."

The Peacock 688

 October 15.  Well I did it.  Now I have concrete evidence.  I managed to take Lindstrom's photo, and now I have concrete evidence to show Vince that this has not been a set of hallucinations.  I just decided to pack my camera with me next time I was downtown, and as luck had it, there he was again at Hastings and Granville, as though expecting me.  I crossed over to see him, camera in hand, and before he could back away, I already took two shots of him, then he looked at me in a way I could only say was menacing, so Harriet took over, and I said to him in Harriet voice, Why hi there my big gorgeous alien daddykins, how about a nice big smile, honey, can you say, suck my dick honey, and then he just stood there, helpless, his hands slack, at his side, and I took two more of him, then ran off and boarded the first bus home.  How strange that the first two photos didn't turn out, in fact, he wasn't even in them, but when Harriet took over, well, there he is, tall handsome and blonde with a lost and helpless look on his face and his arms slack at his side."

"Too bad we can't see the photos", says Carl.

"Wait a minute", and I start flipping the pages, and out fall two photographs.  Each portraying a tall very handsome blonde man who could only be Lindstrom.

The Peacock 687

 "This is better than Stephen King", says Carl.

"Decidedly", I concur.

"Read some more?" says Francois."

"Okay", say I.  "Next entry.  October 12, four days later.  Ready?"

"So much for hypnosis.  I spent an hour in that comfy chair in the Psychiatrists' office.  We did our first session of hypnotherapy, and nothing.  Zero.  One big fat blank.  In fact, I fell asleep in the chair, and didn't even dream.  He seemed very disappointed, and so am I.  But relieved actually.  He actually has the nerve to call me one of the most resistant to therapy patients he has ever dealt with.  He has also complimented me on my very strong sense of self.  Or, whatever.   I even suggested to him that my having a strong sense of self might be just the ticket for making me resistant to therapy, to which Vince replied, 'Touché!'  I have told him everything I  can remember about Lindstrom, and he is completely baffled, as am I.  He suggested calling the police, and this is something I haven't ruled out, except for one little detail.  I ran into so much grief from those fucking pigs when I was Cassandra that I am not prepared yet to repeat the trauma, especially about something so woo-woo and weird as this Lindstrom from outer space who says he's my dad.  Vince, is wondering if he could just be a delusion, a kind of projection, and I am not ruling that out either.  Right now, I am not prepared to rule out anything...

The Peacock 686

 Unfortunately, that's almost all I remember.  I think we were seated in elegant armchairs in a kind of elegant reception room or library.  There was a view from the window of one of the most incredibly starry skies I have ever seen.  I think we were sipping brandy from elegant snifters.  He gestured, pointing to a particular cluster of stars and said that that was his home.  Then he looked at me very fixedly and said, "You are my child, and I have come to take you home with me."  Next thing I knew I was standing at the bus stop, then got on the UBC bus in order to get home.  I think it was already pretty late, and when I got home it was already after one am.

The next day, after closing the shop, I took the bus downtown.  I was sure I remembered the building and there it was.  I went inside and took the elevator to the top floor.  It opened onto a lobby, where I was sure was the mansion penthouse of Lindstrom.  There was a young woman at the reception desk.  It was a lawyers office, and the reception told me they were closed now.  I went home, more confused than ever...

The Peacock 685

 "What did happen today in the garden?" say I.

"Divine visitation.  Nothing else", says Francois.

We are clearly not ready to talk about it.  Right now we are supporting one another following a traumatic, though sublime encounter.

"Read some more?" says Carl.

"Let me", say I, trading Francois the chocolate chips for the diary.

"No chocolate for me?" says Carl with a pout.

"You prefer beer.  Remember?" says Francois, giggling.  "Oh, alright, Brother Carl, you can have some chocolate too."  He hands him the bag.

"October 8.  This looks very interesting."

I am surprised I actually remember this time what happened.  I simply was not expecting to run into him downtown, but there he was, standing in front of the Royal Bank building at Hastings and Granville.  This time he came over to me before the light could change and I could get away.  "Come with me", he said, and strangely and dumbly, I simply obeyed and walked with him as far as Richards Street.  We entered a vintage office building. where we boarded the elevator.  We came out to the top floor, and stepped into an elegantly appointed lobby, with a mezzanine above of other rooms.  It really looked more like the foyer of a grand old mansion, and I had this weird feeling of disorientation.  We walked together up an elegant curving grand staircase...

The Peacock 684

 "That tall blonde guy who abducted them to the house here, back in the sixties", say I.  "Who do you think he was?"

"You mean, what do I think he was?" says Carl querulously.

"You mean it isn't obvious?" says Francois.  The rather depleted bag of chocolate chips is resting on the left arm of the chair he is sitting in.  I suddenly crave more chocolate.  Quietly, almost blindly, I instinctively, without thinking, raise myself up from the chair and extend my right hand.

"What's the magic word?" says Carl.

"Gimme!" I reply, and laughing, Francois tosses me the bag of chocolate chips.

"Shouldn't we be drinking beer instead" says Carl, laughing.

"Shut up", I tell him while reaching my hand into the bag of chocolate chips.

"What about that guy we saw in the garden?" says Carl.

"That was no guy", says Francois quietly.

"But, you don't think", he says

"Not in the least.  Totally different everything.  You done with those chocolate chips yet?"

The Peacock 683

 "So this is an invasion?" say I.

"The long and short of it is", says Carl, "They are supposed to be here to help us."

"Whitey to the rescue", says François.  "And given their resume with the Third Reich, don't expect me to welcome them for a cup of tea.

"If they even exist", say I.

"And that", says Carl, "Is a big if."

"Carl", says François with a naughty little smile, "You have blonde hair and blue eyes...

"Don't even go there!" he says laughing.  "Besides, I'm too short."

"What about those guys we just heard about in the journal of Cosme?" say I.

"Curiouser and curiouser", says Carl.

"You don't think..." says Francois.

"No, I don't do conspiracy theories.  I am a journalist," says Carl, "But I'm not that kind of journalist...."

The Peacock 682

 Carl has his phone out and is doing a search.  "Yes, here it is", he says,  "Ready for this?  He begins to read.

Documents leaked by NSA whistleblower Edward Snowden conclusively prove that the United States has been ruled by a race of tall, white space aliens who also assisted the rise of Nazi Germany in the 1930s.

Now this:

Salla, who has a PhD in government from the University of Queensland in his native Australia, doesn't believe it. He figures the dentist trip is just a cover story. He believes Ike went to Edwards Air Force Base, where he met with two ETs with white hair, pale blue eyes and colorless lips.

And from our own Canada, from the lips of none other than a former defense minister:

Hellyer used to believe that there were between 2 and 12 different species of alien. Now, he says he's received reports that there might be as many as 80.

In case you feel you might have met one in your home town, some are tall ("Nordic blondes"), some are short ("Short Grays"), and some look like aliens in cartoons.

The Peacock 681

 "Next entry?" says Carl.

Francois begins to read  

"Slow day in the store today, hardly anyone came in.  We are still running our sale on potted herbs, but only the basil seems to be going.  No one likes thyme anymore, so we could hardly say that thyme is running out.  You can tell by the quality of my puns, Harriet, that I had a crappy work day.  Well, not crappy, just slow.  Everything seems to be moving at the turgid speed of a constipated turd.  Both Jim and Chris are downstairs in the kitchen, getting supper ready  I offered to help, but they said they want to surprise me.  These two are both so kind.  I seem to have woken up this morning with three scratches on my leg, just below the right knee.  I have no idea how they might have got there.  I have not been walking among any brambles or thorns lately.  And there is no cat in the house, and these do look like cat scratches.

"Lindstrom, or Blondie?  Yeah, that's it, blame it on Blondie.  I think I am going to be rather obsessed with that strapping Nordic god for a while anyay.  Seriously, I don't even know if he's human.  I heard recently about this race of Nordic looking space aliens that are supposed to be staying here on earth and they are advising heads of government.  Who would have imagined?.  Time to loosen my tin foil hat before I start getting a migraine...

The Peacock 680

 Says Francois, "The next entry is October 15.  Want me to read it?"

"Go ahead", I reply.  I am aware that this is getting closer and closer to the date of Kenny's death, which would have occurred December 14.

"My first session with the psychiatrist.  He seems okay, around fifty, easy going, not a bad sense of humour.  I'm not sure about compassion and empathy, but he doesn't appear hard-hearted anyway.  We dwelled a bit on my childhood.  Nothing really unusual.  Lived with my mom and younger brother from age ten after she kicked dad out of the house, then I got into drugs at sixteen and left school early, only to land in a foster home, then back to hotel Mom and school again, but then back to drugs and before I knew it I was turning tricks dressed up as Cassandra.  He asked me questions about my masculine identity, then I told him to stop being an idiot, that I am both and neither.  So, then he tried to probe into my lack of male role modelling and I replied that if he continued to go there then he should go to hell and I will look for another therapist.  I told him about Lindstrom, just a little bit,about the night in Hotel Vancouver.  Next session he wants us to try hypnosis.  

The Peacock 679

 "Here, he continues", says Francois:

"I began to think there was something amiss when I heard another voice, as well as Chris and Jim.  I can't quite make out what they are saying, then I hear Jim, loud and rather angry, not at all like him, saying, look, I said he is'nt here, now please shove off!

I was seated at the kitchen table, waiting as they both came in.  Father and son both, looking grim and worried, sat down with me.  Jim just said, "some man was just out there in the driveway, asking about you.  He was a little bit demanding so I had to tell him to shove off.  Unfortunately I had to lie, I said you don't live here, but I trust that God will see my heart and forgive me this minor sin.  Kenny, I am afraid you might be in some kind of danger.  What can we do to help?"

"Did you have a good look at him", I asked.

"He was tall, wearing dark clothing but kept his distance, and it was hard to make out his features otherwise.  Seemed like a well educated sort, I would guess."

I'm not afraid of him, I said.

"There is no need to be brave", said Jim.

"Brave shmave, this guy is only a nuisance  He's really a pussy."

"Should we call police"

"Nothing they can do...

The Peacock 678

 "That appears to end the entry", says François.

"Can you read the next entry?" say I.

"It's more than two weeks later, early September, the eighth.  Ready?"

"I have been enjoying one more Sunday night of solitude in the house.  Chris and Jim are away at church as always, and I have been sprawled on the couch reading the weekend Globe and Mail, cover to cover.  I simply don't go anymore.  I can't go.  every time I am there, I get upset.  People try to be nice and polite and friendly, since I am the ward of their rector, and then as soon as they can legally get away with it, they're gone.  I give up.  They are not worth my trouble.  Jim and Chris both know what's going on  It really pains them, and on more than one occasion, Chris has admitted to me that even for him it's hard there.  Small wonder, all those privileged young white people, and even the Asians are white, and what do we do with such ignorant, stupid and privileged children, Harriet, except just walk away and pretend they don't exist, since they pretend that we don't exist.  Separate solitudes, you now.

They're late and I'm getting tired.  More than an hour late.  It's ten thirty already, and now I am getting worried.  Wait, I hear the car in the driveway.  Now two car doors slamming, and footsteps towards the house...

The Peacock 677

 I don't know why, but for some reason my eyes have trouble focussing on the page, and the feeling of oppression weighs on me like a coat of mail.  My mouth is feeling suddenly dry.  "You guys, I just need to get a glass of water from the bathroom.  I for some reason have trouble focussing right now."

"Want one of us to read instead for a while?" says Francois.

"Yes, that would be helpful."  I get up and feel like I am trying not to stagger as I leave the room.  

The water is cold and refreshing.  I quaff two full glasses and carry back with me glass number three.

"Still want me to read?" says Francois, smiling warmly.

"Yes, could you please?" say I, resuming my place on the bed.  It no longer feels so bad in here, and I am feeling a bit tired, but I am struggling to stay awake.

"It's now over a week since our last encounter in the woods, and still no sign of Blondie.  Well, that's my name for this Lindstrom character.  It seems that provided I don't take him seriously he is not going to be a problem to me.  Funny, why didn't I think of this before.  Still, I seem to be going through each day feeling as though I am being watched and sometimes followed, and this kind of creepiness is rather hard to laugh off methinks.  I hear a knock on the door...

The Peacock 676

That cat sees something that we don't", says Carl.

"Is he always like this?" say I.

"From time to time, yes.  Not always."

The cat's tail begins to swing wildly back and forth.  He starts a plaintive, anguished yowling.  then, still yowling, he jumps onto the floor and runs out the door.

"Doesn't look good", says François.

"I wonder if reading these pages in Kenny's journal", say I, "I wonder if this has summoned forth something, something malevolent?

"Could be", says Carl.  "The air does feel strange in here.  Oppressive."

"I move that you keep reading, Christopher", says Francois.  "I think we need to get to the bottom of this."

"I concur", says Carl."

The Peacock 675

 "Well, he didn't show up in the store today.  This is strange.  I am expecting this guy, Lindstrom, or whoever he is, to show up here again.  I am almost looking forward to seeing him.  I am obsessed with Lindstrom.  I am in love with him.  Harriet, you are one sick woman.  This guy wants to do me harm, and whatever he tried to start back in the day when I was still working as Cassandra, he clearly wants to finish the work.  I want to know what he wants.  I don't know, but the other night, not last night but the night before when I was naked with him in the forest, there were other people there.  I am sure I saw people, but I can't furnish any details, they were like shadows or ghosts, and then to wake up with my head against a log and fully clothed again and cold and damp from sleeping out all night, and no sign of anything different or unusual.  Maybe this guy doesn't even exist, he is just a fantasy, a hallucination that I am projecting because I really need a man, but really I don't need a man.

I have been enjoying being celibate, not working, since for me, sex is always work and vice versa, and for helping me get out of that scene I have Jim to thank, and to thank him many times over..."

There is a loud meowing at the door.  Carl gets up and lets the orange cat in.  The cat explores the room sniffing in corners, and seems rather agitated.  He meows again, plaintively.  Carl picks him up, but the cat jumps from his arms onto the window sill, where he decides to stay for a while, sitting on his haunches and staring out the window, his tail twitching nervously at the tip...

The Peacock 674

 "Are they sure it was suicide", says Carl.

"We're skeptical.  There was evidence of a traumatic blow to the head, and they couldn't be one hundred percent persuaded that it wasn't just a natural impact blow from when he dove, or fell, from the bridge."

"Wasn't Lindstrom already out of the picture?" says Francois.

"That would be hard to say.  You see, Kenny, nor my dad, ever mentioned anything at all to me about Lindstrom.  For me, only on these pages does he have any existence.  I think we would want to read more of his diary, just to get an idea, but there are still quite a few pages left.  What do you think, should I keep reading, or do we want to leave it till next time."

"It's not even nine thirty yet", says Carl, glancing at the clock radio.  I say we keep reading."

"Agreed", says Francois.

"But what about the others?" say I.

"I'm sure they are getting by just fine without us.  Wait a minute, do I hear Carol on the piano?" says Carl.

"You don't have to stay if you don't want to."

"We can hear her fine from up here.  Read on, kid.."

The Peacock 673

 "Not in front of the child?" says Carl, smiling.

"Something like that.  Thing is, they both seemed to have their own adult friendship between them, Dad and Kenny, and I was the kid.  I always felt a little bit shut out from both of them."

"I would imagine", says Francois, "that they were protecting you.  They wanted to be sure that you weren't hit by any secondary trauma, because your friend Kenny was going through one bizarre and freaky kind of hell."  He reaches his hand into the bag and pulls out a small fistful of chocolate chips that he pops into his mouth, then continues, "I'm a bit envious, actually.  Mom never withheld any secrets from me.  To her we were not mother and son, but I was her  built in confidant, or agony aunt.  We were completely enmeshed, and that was not really a good thing for me to grow up with.

"I guess it's only normal that I would feel a bit cheated.  But,yes, Francois, I think you're right."

"Did you and your father ever talk about Kenny?"

"Not till after he died.  Kenny's suicide really brought Dad and I close together, closer than we had ever  been..

The Peacock 672

 I pick up Kenny's diary again, while the bitter sweet delight of chocolate melts slowly on my tongue.  I don't feel quite ready to read, not just because my mouth is a bit full, but also because I really want this moment to enjoy the chocolate, and only the chocolate.  Plus, I'm afraid of what I am going to find out.  Still, I turn to the next page, and begin to read:

  I don't know what to tell Jim, and Christopher is not going to know any of this.  It is just too fucking freaky, Harriet, and I really need to start getting my shit in order again.  I can't have this handsome Nordic guy, Lindstrom, stalking me everywhere.  Yeah, of course he's hot, the most gorgeous man I've ever seen, naked and clothed, and that makes it even creepier.  But now it seems the tide has turned, and now he seems afraid of me, so maybe I won't be hearing from him for a while anyway.  Is he even human?  What is he, anyway?  Well, now I remember that first night with him, when I  was still working as Cassandra, my last night as Cassandra, but all I remember after that was stepping into his car, then waking up the next morning in the Hotel Vancouver, wearing some other dude's clothing.  And of course, the manager told me his name, and I managed to slip by him, if his name really is Lindstrom.  But I need to remember everything that happened, but it's still nowhere in my head.  I wonder if I should see someone who practices hypnosis, and yes, I think I know what to do, because Jim has already recommended to me an excellent psychiatrist who specializes in recovering forgotten trauma...

"Did you know any of this?" Carl asks me.

"Nothing.  But I do remember maybe that same day or so Kenny meeting privately with Dad in his office.  No one ever told me what it was about.."

The Peacock 671

 "You don't imagine", says Francois, "That you and Greta could be referring to the same Lindstrom?"

"I doubt it", say I.

"Well", says Carl, "you never know, eh?"

"Especially when you would prefer not to find out", say I.

"How do you feel about all this, so far?" says Carl.

"This is all very intense and rather confusing."

"Well", says Carl, "Let's imagine, anyway, that they could be the same person.  I mean the Lindstrom who was stalking Kenny, and the Lindstrom that your ex-wife mentioned that one time on the phone."

"That", says Francois, "Would be truly chilling."

"There must be more in his diary that could shed light on this", says Carl.  "Do you feel up to reading some more?"

"First, chocolate", say I, reaching my hand to Carl as he passes me the  bag of chocolate chips.  "More chocolate...Lots of chocolate...Lots and lots of chocolate", as I dig into the bag and shovel chips into my mouth, like a condemned alcoholic grasping for his final draught of whisky....

The Peacock 670

 "I don't know if this could help", say I, "but she thought she was alone in the apartment, and so she was talking in English, but when she turned around and saw me, she immediately switched to Swedish."

"She didn't want you to know what she was talking about", says François, "and she was your wife?"

"In a manner of speaking, I would imagine."

"What do you remember?" says Carl.

"'I am nowhere near solving the problem of Lindstrom, and Christopher hasn't given me so much as the remotest clue' she said, and she did sound a bit emotional and angry.  Strange for Greta, because she was always very cool and rational.  About everything.  A total scientist."

"She just said Lindstrom", says Carl.  "No first name or anything."

"Nothing else."

"Then he probably wasn't a relative."

"I did ask her about him when she got off the phone.  But she ignored me and went out..."

The Peacock 669

 "That must have been the same day that Kenny came back to live with us again", say I.   He actually was wearing those same clothes when he came to the house that evening with Dad.  He seemed confused and disoriented, said he couldn't remember anything from the previous couple of days, that no, he hadn't been drinking or using drugs, so we just let it go and didn't question him."

"Can you tell by the date of the entry?" says Carl.

"No, because he was just remembering it as if for the first time."

"How absolutely bizarre", says François.  "His name was Lindstrom?"  

"Very common name in Sweden," says Carl.

"Greta, my ex-wife, had relatives named Lindstrom.  She only mentioned them once.

"Did she have any family by that name living in Canada?" asks Francois.

"I only heard her mention the name once, while on the phone with a relative in Sweden, an uncle, I think."

"Do you remember any details?" says Carl.

"Pass me some chocolate and give me a minute to think..."

The Peacock 668

 But I still don't remember what happened back then.  Not exactly.  Just that I woke up alone in a hotel room. It was actually a nice place, none other than our own famous Hotel Vancouver.  I lay on top of the bed, which itself didn't appear to have been slept in  and I was fully clothed, but not in my womens' apparel, but in a white T shirt and blue jeans, and I was also wearing socks and there was a pair of sneakers by the side of the bed.  My dress, nor my high heels, were anywhere to be seen.  Then it dawned on me...I was not wearing my clothes, someone had exchanged my dress and heels for this boy's attire that didn't belong to me.  And my head was hurting rather badly.

There was a knock on the door.  "Yes", I shouted, my voice unusually hoarse.  Again there was a knocking on the door, it pushed open, and a young man dressed in a suit and tie came in.  He said he was the assistant manager, and said that a complimentary breakfast would be served for me in the restaurant downstairs.  And that Mr. Lindstrom would be waiting for me.  "Mr. Lindstrom?" I asked, but the young man left and closed the door behind him.  I was in no mood to have breakfast with any Mr. Lindstrom, and had already decided that I was simply going to leave.  On the way out, I did pass by the restaurant, which was in an open lobby lounge.  There he was, seated at a table further in.  He did not appear to see me, and he wasn't going to see me.  I went home...

The Peacock 667

 "All I could do was laugh, but suddenly an imp, not really Harriet, took me over, and I went following after him.  "Hey handsome, I shouted from behind, now it's my turn to stalk you. He quickened his pace, but I was determined not to lose him.  I was out for revenge, but I was rather like a dog chasing a car with this one.  Whatever would I do with him once I caught him.  He started jogging, and so I began to run.  He was a bit faster than me, and I almost lost him a couple of times, plus, it was already beginning to get dark, and I didn't think it would be prudent to spend yet another night in that forest, so, I took a side trail and returned home.

Only now am I coming to remember where I first saw this guy.  It was a few years ago, I was hooking on the street downtown one night, near all the other trannies.  We did try to look out for each other as much as possible, and had actually formed a pretty tight little community.  That was when a big black BMW pulled up in front of me, driven by some random guy, and there was my Mr Studly Psycho riding in the back.  "get in", he said, pushing the back door open.  Of course I obeyed...