I went to church this Easter Sunday morning only to remind myself of why I shouldn't. As it was noted by one of our announcers we had twice the usual congregation because of the many visitors, or should I say, people who will not darken our door until Christmas Eve or next Easter. The real deal in Anglican churches for Easter, it is known, is the Easter Vigil service late Saturday night. Outsiders generally don't know about it. I used to attend but I'm older now and late nights no matter how worthy the cause just don't cut it for me any more.
This morning, but for the familiarity of the rector and a few individuals I hardly knew where I was, I was so surrounded by strangers. There were a number of regular attenders, many whom, I suspect, had been to the Vigil service late last night and likely were feeling tired and socially fatigued this morning, which showed on many of them, and I do not blame any of them for not being friendly towards me and I hope I will be forgiven for not reaching out to anybody. Neither do I have a problem with strangers or visitors, but somehow the whole PH of the church was transformed and the newcomers seemed to have taken over. I was in a different and unfamiliar church and the environment felt somewhat hostile. This also kicked in a kind of controlled panic or survival instinct for me that I often feel if I am visiting a new church. Generally others are not friendly because a lot of churches seem to be simply full of unfriendly people, though this is not likely always the case, but a reaction due to the perceptions of the unfamiliar and the fear of being rejected. Be that as it may, this was no longer the friendly parish that I know and love because most newcomers to our church simply have little or no concept of being in a friendly Anglican church and like many traditional Anglicans they tend to have their heads stuck up their backsides and it is understandably very difficult for them to reach out to strangers. Surrounded by strangers who were, not necessarily hostile, but simply not friendly, kind of transformed me by osmosis into an unfriendly stranger in my own church. And I saw this happen with people I know, some who are usually close friends, in the church, and who were likely too tired and burned out from last night to venture outside of automatic pilot.
Worse, there was no coffee hour today for reasons undisclosed and hot cross buns were distributed on the way out. I didn't accept one because I don't like hot cross buns and wasn't hungry but also because I was not going to be bought off nor am I going to be prevented from writing about it in my blog this evening. And, by the way, Church narthex' are not congenial for socializing. They have a very transient quality and if you need time to sit and relax if you are going to be social, as is often the case for me, it is not an environment suited for holding court.
Being a stranger among strangers, except for those who came with their own families, loved ones or friends, it seemed pointless to stay and I think that for a change I was the first one out the door. Easter, like Christmas, has been highjacked by families and for those who, like me are alone, especially in church it can be lonely and painful. Good thing that I had a friend to visit for a cup of chai afterward whom, for good reason I believe, hasn't attended church in years. I do have one thing to say to those visitors who won't be back till Christmas: STAY HOME if you cannot shit or get off the pot.
Christ is risen indeed.
Happy Easter, indeed.
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