Writing a daily blog is like life as a domestic oyster. There always has to be a daily irritant if you want to produce a pearl. Today's irritant occurred at church, following the service, at coffee downstairs while sharing a table with among others an elderly lady choir member who loves being the centre of attention and has to have a captive audience. A nice, lovely person altogether, but rather a bore. I mentioned in the course of our conversation my desire to continue working once I reach retirement age and out came that one cold, dank, just slightly chemical smelling drop of negativity: "You never know," she said more or less, "What's going to happen to your plans." She didn't quite succeed in pissing in my granola and I concede that up to a point she may be right. We never know what life is going to hand us, especially as we get old and frail, which I suppose brings on a sense of contingency about any long term plans that we make. And I have to admit that this is why I like to travel somewhere every year, now that I can afford to. I never know what life might end up handing me and I would like to be able to travel while I am still in good health and financial condition to enjoy it.
I draw the line at being pessimistic, unlike my friend at church. Two posts ago I mentioned obstinate joy, based in gratitude and this is the reality I have chosen to carry inside me. I have no idea what awaits me in the distant or near future. Cancer? Heart Disease? Accident? Stroke? Dementia? Permanent mental health relapse? I might be somehow in denial but I really don't think that any of these things are going to befall me, and even if any of these or other misfortunes befall me I hope to cultivate the grace, dignity and humility to bear well whatever is handed me.
In the meantime I am going to continue to dance and go on dancing. In the full sunlight. In an ecstasy of obstinate joy.
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