Debriefing

I am still tired.  Travel is exhausting.  I have been back three days and still don't have all my energy.  When I got off the plane I was tired from sleep deprivation since it was a dawn flight and when I got home I wanted to lie down though first I unpacked, after buying a monthly bus pass and milk and getting money from the bank machine. After a nap I got all my banking and most of my grocery shopping done, plus a three mile walk.  The day after I was back at work.  I have always been the hit the ground running type and for good reason.  I always feel better when I have no pending obligations, when all my ducks are in a row.  I do not do slovenly well.  Even when I'm home all alone I remain reasonably well dressed.  I might slob out to the point of letting my shirt hang out of my pants, but otherwise I look and dress at home the way I do at work or out on the street.  I am my own guest and my own host and I like to look good for myself.  I will not show one face to the world while letting the monster out at home.  I have always wanted consistency, seamlessness and integrity. 
     For now I am tired.  I have started doing my taxes, but not this evening.  It is time to rest and work on a painting, write hotel reviews on Tripadvisor, snack, read and listen to the Ideas program on CBC Radio One.  This I suppose is my way of unwinding and resting.  I am tired.  Following the radio progam I might watch a video in Spanish, then stumble off to bed.
     Travel is never restful.  It is a challenge.  I experience no ballast or protection in the all inclusive or the tourist resort.  It is as though I become vulnerable and naked (well, spiritually naked) as I walk and live in a foreign country among the people who live there, meeting them, speaking in their language, learning from them and laughing with them.  I have never in my life felt so rich.  Or so tired.  Renewal is exhausting.