Endocrinologist

Today I saw the endocrinologist, my first medical appointment since leaving hospital more than two weeks ago.  I hardly seem to remember being there, it feels so long ago, but no, it wasn't.  As I told the endocrinologist, who also saw me when I was in the emergency ward, it really feels like it happened a long time ago, so well and so much better I feel now.  He told me that the benign tumour on my pituitary gland had basically paralyzed my thyroid and that I should expect to be on medication for this mysterious condition for many years to come.  He also congratulated how well I look now.

I am trying to take care to not let the emotional turmoil from my health concerns to otherwise cloud my judgement.  This is not easy.  I find that I am still very upset with some people and situations even though there is probably no just reason for feeling so.

I am upset with one of my workplaces.  No one there acknowledged me while I was in hospital.  Not even so much as a phone call during or after my hospitalization.  The other three places where I work offered me tremendous support with visits, gifts, cards and expressions of real friendship.  In the other place where I work, one of the mental health teams in Vancouver, I have spoken with various coworkers on the phone about client needs.  No one has expressed concern or asked about my wellbeing, yet they knew that I was in hospital.

I am of course thinking of resigning but I feel it is wise to wait and see.  I need to get past the emotion and to not assign blame.  Besides, my other worksites went overboard with gifts of money, fruit, lovely comfort food and visits galore.  Perhaps I could see it as three out of four ain't bad?
And really do I need to feel cared for by coworkers?  But what if I have been in this work place for ten years?

In the meantime I am going to see if I can get my hours increased in the workplaces where I am feeling the love, making at least financially painless what might be my inevitable resignation from this other mental health team.

It could also be they are anxious to get rid of me and only need to come up with a pretext, or at least to invent one for firing my sorry ass.

Time will tell.