Getting There

I still tire easy, but not as easy as yesterday.  I am feeling restless today, which means I am getting ready to do more.  Recovery has been swift.  I wonder if I am over dramatizing about facing old age but I don't think so.  I do not see myself as a little old man.  I see myself as being initiated into a new phase of life.  I am not about to start walking with a cane, unless I happen to really need one.  I am not going to start suddenly complaining about young people, who are no worse and perhaps even a little better than we were forty years ago.  I do not believe the world is going to hell, nor that technology is going to be our doom.

This is a period of change.  I do have to accept some trade offs: I might have to be on medication for, if not the rest of my life, then maybe for alternating periods.  I will be trying to seek that balance of knowing my limits but knowing when to challenge them.  I am not about to dress in skinny jeans, nor am I going to get a tattoo or start hanging out in trendy watering holes (I don't drink anyway).  Nor am I going to pile myself with sweaters in the middle of summer and start walking short distances with a pronounced stoop.

What I do happen to know is that my time on this earth is limited.  I might be around for another four or five decades, maybe four or five years.  I could last till one hundred or croak next year at sixty.  This does not matter so much.  I want to live each moment as though this is the most important moment.  I want to see the beauty around me and get past my compassion fatigue to appreciate and embrace even the most annoying people.

I shall continue to do, enjoy and celebrate art, I shall continue to bore and annoy all of you through this blog, and I shall continue to give a shit about the world because these are things that keep me alive and I intend to stay alive until I am called to my real and eternal home.

I am not about to stop living.