Initiation

I mentioned to my priest today that I appear to be undergoing a kind of initiation.  This awareness began to hit me during my recent trip to Colombia where I spent all my time in Bogota.  When I saw the seven eagles gathering in the air then flying south in the direction of Colombia two weeks before my trip I took it as a sign about the success of this trip.  I now wonder if it refers also to a general shift that appears to be happening in my life. 

What seemed particularly unusual about this trip has been the intense sense of connection to others, both in Bogota and people reading my travel blog.  Sometimes I felt as though I were hosting a movable party.   When I returned and dealt with some health consequences of returning from a high altitude with compromised iron and B12 levels in my system my life appeared to be returning to normal.  I was again alone a lot and accustoming myself to my long-accustomed sense of social isolation.  But it was rather different this time.  I was busier than usual with individuals and groups at work and spending more than usual time visiting with friends. 

Last Sunday I became unaccountably ill, alone and isolated.  Without support from anyone I called and waited alone for the ambulance.  When I arrived in hospital emergency I was alone where I languished and drifted in and out of consciousness during the next twelve hours.  My only human contact was from various concerned and caring professionals.  I did not know how to contact any of my friends or others who could come in and see if I was okay or even wait with me during some of this time.  There was no one to advocate for me.

After I was admitted in hospital upstairs a shift occurred and people were visiting, bringing treats, reminding and affirming that I am loved and valued.  In the meantime I went through a rapid gradual healing and recovery.  My near paralyzed hands and feet over the days regained strength and dexterity; my eyes returned to normal, and I gradually became strong again.

Today in church I have enjoyed sustained and quality contact with others and then it occurred to me while I was in the coffee shop with my priest: that since in two weeks time I will be renewing my vows of commitment to the Anglican Communion, this has all been none other than an initiation.  I expect that in consecrating my life to a community of believers that this will also be a time of new beginning, a time of casting off the old husk of distrust and isolation, and an opportunity of channelling the wild creative energy that pulses in my life for the greater good.

A new page is turning...