Gentle Reader, I am going to touch on this theme from three distinct and apparently irreconcilable angles. I began seriously thinking of this idea yesterday based on two occurrences, one which was a matter of personal observation, the other a major and very tragic event that is currently occupying the international news media. The personal observation was trivial enough. While doing my art inside a coffee shop yesterday I noticed the male partner of a couple grabbing the posterior of his female partner. I have to say that I didn`t like it at all, but couldn`t really identify just what it was that made me uncomfortable. In the meantime the young woman smiled admiringly at my drawing. Having just witnessed her man`s inappropriate public display of affection I felt less than inclined to engage with her in conversation. Her partner seemed quite oblivious and actually crowded right into my personal space in order to look at a painting on the wall. I felt particularly uncomfortable with this, for my space was being violated and that apparently I didn`t seem to exist at all to him as an artist while he admired someone else`s work, but this could be because he was not comfortable with addressing a stranger who seemed uninterested in him.
The second occurrence has to do with the mass shooting of twelve cops in Dallas Texas the other day, five of whom are now dead and how this was the fallout from the murder of two innocent black men this week by police in Baton Rouge, Louisiana and St. Paul`s (?), Minnesota, just weeks following the mass murder in Orlando. The media has been understandably bombarded with this horrific series of murderous events and this is impacting a lot of people. I know that when it`s on the news really frequently I simply turn off the radio now. I mean, enough is enough. These recordings of the horrific loss, pain and grief of people I will never meet really should be reserved for privileged ears and not treated as items for mass consumption. This is a species of porn and I think there is legitimate concern that this turns into some very loose interpretations of freedom of expression.
When I read about Dallas in the Weekend Globe and Mail this morning it suddenly hit me. I was reading Elizabeth Renzetti`s excellent column and when I got to the part about the four year old daughter of the girlfriend of the slain black man offering words of comfort to her mother while he was slumped dying at their side I lost it. I started crying. I had to stop reading for a while just to recompose myself. I was being hit by the pain, the huge loss and a child`s heroism, all pertaining to people I will never know.
Today I was in a café in Kerrisdale, one of Vancouver`s particularly wealthy neighbourhoods. I commented to the owner about the high price of an iced Americano. The price was even higher for the larger sizes, not because they used extra coffee--still the same regulation two shots of espresso--but because of the extra water. I asked him since when does water cost money in Vancouver (I wasn`t thinking of Perrier). He patiently explained that the rent he has to pay for the privilege of staying open in Kerrisdale would be double for something similar on the East Side. I replied that once they start paying us a living wage I will likely be a little more understanding. End of conversation.
I think that each of these three situations, in its way, addresses the larger social impact of the choices that we make, be it regarding sex and gender equality, race and ethnicity, or economic injustice. Last night I did a quick Google check about the social appropriateness, or gaucheness of a man putting his hand on his woman`s heiny while out in public. I was not all surprised that most of the commenters were firmly on my side, that this is gross, tacky and inappropriate behaviour. There was only one dissenter, the sole male commenter. All the others wrote that it conveyed the wrong public message about woman as male property, some expressed concern that perhaps she didn't want him to fondle her derriere in public, others stated that it sends the wrong message of it being okay to objectify women. And then I understood just why I felt creeped out by it.
The racial strife in the US of course is something infinitely bigger and more panoramic. Or is it? Yes, innocent people have been killed on the basis of race and sexual and gender identity. And we are all impacted. The news media, the internet and social media of course have really amplified everything, bringing other people's pain and tragedy into our daily lives as never before. This seems to have had its beginnings with how effectively the Vietnam War was televised and brought every evening into practically every living room in North America. Now, thanks to Twitter, Facebook, YouTube and Instagram we are bombarded twenty-four/seven. We either stare at the unfathomable pain, bleary eyed and uncomprehending, or we break down from the emotion or we try to escape, but really, we can't escape. It is our pain, whether we like it or not, because contrary to the libertarian dogma of individualism and self-determination we are all connected. Contrary to the virtue of selfishness as enshrined by the grand dame of libertarian capitalism, Ayn Rand, we are, at the core of our beings, empathetic creatures. That we often feel so helpless to be able to do anything to effect real change and support for others only compounds for us the pain and so of course we are going to shut down, shut off, or seek avenues of escape.
So, there we have it, injustice because of race, injustice because of gender and sex and economic injustice. All full of such intricate webs of causes and effects as to leave us in a paralysis of helpless inertia. I wish I had solutions to offer, but I don't really. All I can say to anyone is that we please try not to shut down. Take care of ourselves, yes, and to know when to disengage, but to know also when and how to re-engage and to think of whatever small acts, whatever small footsteps we can make to try to make this vast web of complex inequality a little bit less of a hell for ourselves and for others.
Please forward this to others.
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