Ethics, A Moral Compass, And Good Mental Health

This has been my own experience of mental health recovery.  It sort of began with a series of conversations I had with my psychotherapist of four years, more than ten years ago.  He admitted to being influenced by the likes of Freud and Maslow, really huge on self-esteem, self love, self everything.  What's in it for me.  Celebrating my ego.  Feeling good about myself.  Eventually I stood up to his narcissistic nonsense.  I insisted that he and I are but two among seven billion other human lives and that regardless of what we want to do or be for ourselves we are going to impact on others and other people are going to impact on us.  I insisted to him that for me friendship has squat to do with what's in it for me and everything to do with us because in any friendship one is reckoning with a third being who is a fusion of the two selves.  I told him that as a Christian I am commanded to love, not only myself, but others, no matter who they are or what kind people or what kind of impact they have on me.  It does not mean that I have to approve of them, endorse them, or tolerate or accept mistreatment.  Sometimes it means having to distance myself from harmful people but never to diminish or despise them.

I told him that for me, mental health recovery isn't me, it is us.  It isn't just doing what is right for me, but doing what is right and we determine what is right by what is good not just for myself but for others.  Not either or, but both and.

I told him that as a Christian I was not about to embark on any form of relationship that would be even remotely selfish or exploitative, not even with the reward of sex and a torrid affair with someone young enough to be my child no matter how much that person wanted this kind of relationship.  I told him that there is absolutely no incompatibility between self-sacrifice and good mental health, given that the sacrifice involved is not a neurotic or masochistic self-loathing and totally dedicated to the common good, which includes my personal wellbeing.

I challenged, and I challenged and I challenged.  I brooked no opposition from my therapist and every time he would interrupt I would close him down and tell him to please keep quiet for at least ten minutes so that I could say everything that I had to say.

He heard me out.  Then to my surprise he admitted that I had taught him something very critical, and that he was inspired by my ethics and my sound moral compass.  Also, to his amazement, and mine, my recovery from complex post-traumatic stress disorder really began to move forward.

I don't know if this ever helped him recover from his atheism.  But boy, what a conversation we had.