Living With Trauma 13

I think that most of us believe in kindness, and that really, a lot of us want to be kind. We often aren`t, with all the usual excuses in place: too tired, too grumpy, not enough time, too busy, too lazy, too selfish, don`t trust that person, won`t be appreciated, will be taken advantage of, doesn`t deserve the kindness, etc. etc. etc. I find it interesting how often these days I have brief but fascinating exchanges with strangers while on public transit. Just a couple of days ago I was chatting with a lady of a certain age who told me about how she fell and injured her back (she walks with a cane) on the Canada Line Skytrain when a healthy and selfish young dumbass male refused to give up the courtesy seat his useless ass was monopolizing because he felt "tired". That was when the poor woman took her fall. I only wish I could have been there at the time to publicly shame that idiot into getting off his damn seat on pain of getting it severely kicked by my twitching foot. I have previously indicated on these pages that I am not above publicly humiliating people of his class, and I often have. On the other hand, there is this really sweet old lady on the buses who gives out little hug coupons to other riders. Even though I was a bit reluctant to accept one from her today because of the distance between our seats, another passenger ran interference and made sure I got one anyway. Wow, talk about bringing people together. She had also got other people talking and I was eavesdropping on a chat between two individuals about how the people in Europe are so cold and unfriendly as to make Vancouverites appear downright friendly. Alas, I can only agree! Then I mentioned to the fellow next to me how much nicer Latin Americans are, unless you happen to be in Bogota which is a byword to even other Colombians for its snooty inhabitants. I really do think that our hearts are in the right place, but there is something to be desired about our priorities. Yesterday I wrote about my encounter with a homeless disabled man, verging on elderly for whom I opened the door of the café (with help from a young passerby, so I refuse to take all the credit for kindness) and on his request bought him something to eat. I did not feel particularly nice, good or virtuous, simply that someone in need asked me for help that he needed and I was able to provide. Had I not consented I would have been sinning against both of us. Even then, I had to wrestle with my reluctance and try to swallow my sense of being imposed on. And then being credited for being kind? No. I was doing the right thing, for a change, and that's all I was doing. This is not false modesty, this is the truth. When I got home I had an email from my travel agent informing me that I had won a fifty dollar and something credit on my medical travel insurance, and that I should come in to get the extra money put on my debit card. It felt rather like a reward for being kind, but on second thought, I think it was God's way of telling me that I should never worry about the consequences of being generous. He owns the cattle on a thousand hills and any time he wants he can always sell a cow to provide for his children. In other words, his resources are infinite and we need only to absorb and know this as we become instruments of his generous love towards one another. I thought that my travel agent might find this interesting, given the timing of receiving this little bonus, about four times what I paid for the homeless gentleman's dinner. She, a lovely twenty-something young lady, poured on the praise and I simply told her what I already wrote here: it has nothing to do with being exceptionally kind, that this is simply part of being a human being. If others call upon us in need, we must respond, and that's all there is to it. I'm not sure how she is taking this, but I would imagine that it wasn't the response she was bargaining for! I am also well aware that there is no guarantee that I will be kind like this in the future, because human nature can be very capricious. I'm hoping that I won't cave to those demons, but it's wait and see and I can only trust that God will help me to do and be my very best, no matter what. I think what really needs to be done is that we have to reclaim kindness and empathy as essential pillars to our human nature. Selfishness, and the love of power have got to be subordinated to the real values and the genuine ethic of compassion if we are to survive in the future as a viable species. The competitiveness of Adam Smith and Darwin's survival of the fittest are past their shelf life. We are all interconnected. It's time for us to learn this, to believe it, absorb it and to live it. The question is how?