Living With Trauma 14

Remember, Gentle Reader, that when I mention trauma I am referring to the stuff that surrounds us. Trauma is the very essence of our lives, solitary and collective, and is very much the heart and soul of our culture, our civilization. Everything about our humanity is informed by trauma, with coping, resisting, ameliorating, making sense of, and, the rare time we are doing it right, even transforming and redeeming. I find the way we talk about the weather very signatory of collective trauma. For example, when it's raining, almost no one mentions that the ground is being watered, the reservoirs are being filled and the air is being cleansed and sweetened. No, if it's rain then it's miserable, or it's gross. But really, it's only rain. No, we don't enjoy getting wet, especially when the rain is cold, and if you live this far north, the rain is usually going to be cold. So then, we judge and categorize the weather according to our immediate response and by our own personal expectations of what the weather ought to be. We hate not being in control, and the weather is one of those many facets of life that remain (thank God) way beyond our human control. The way we talk about the weather, when it isn't the way we like it, suggests that we cannot tolerate not feeling in control of everything, and that really we are underneath it all pretty miserable and gross. At least, that is how most of us usually feel, when we're not successfully drugging and soothing ourselves as we escape into our various addictions. Even this weekend, early in November, everyone seems to be talking about the unseasonably cold weather as though this is going to be the kind of weather we are going to have all winter. That because last year we had something resembling a typical Canadian winter with three months of snow, albeit still considerably warmer than national averages, then we are going to have another winter this year every bit as cold, severe and probably worse. This to me is a symptom of trauma. Now, let's look at some facts and possibilities. Last year at this time it was unseasonably warm, with temperatures in the double digits. Then winter hit with an unusual savage ferocity and didn't go away till we were well into March, when it's usually been two months already of early spring. We also might consider that very rarely, if ever, here on the West Coast, do we have two cold winters in a row. Having lived here most of my sixty-one years, and enjoying rather a long memory, I can write this with some authority. The Farmer's Almanac, which is almost never wrong, is forecasting a milder and drier than average winter for this year. On the other hand, the weather gurus are warning that there is a sixty percent chance that our winter is going to be colder than average. So then, this is to say that there is still a forty percent chance of a decent winter this year and that we might also factor in the findings of the Farmer's Almanac. We might also consider that a cold nd early beginning to November doesn't guarantee anything. We might end up with a warm and wet green Christmas and daffodils blooming in January and no more snow, or it could get cold again and stay white and frozen till March. We have no real way of knowing, but may I offer one humble little suggestion, Gentle Reader? Get over the dread. It is a symptom of trauma and, I have already mentioned that we are all to some degree traumatized. Look forward, if you can to a lovely mild winter. Or look forward to cold crisp days and the white pure beauty of snow. Take whatever precautions you must but please don't let our ancestral and congenital depression and anxiety forbid you from enjoying whatever kind of winter is going to be on offer. We might not be able to control it, but it is our choice and our prerogative to enjoy it. If we are still going to get miserable about the cold wet weather, then let's maybe be miserable on behalf of our many homeless and inadequately housed who are really going to suffer from the winter weather, but let's also see what we can do, each within our capacity, to try to help ease their suffering. The key to healing will be in our love for one another.