Living With Trauma, The Healers, 18

It's all a mess, because we're all a mess. We're all a mess because it's all a mess. Chicken and egg. While meeting with one of my supervisors today we were talking about how to negotiate the mental health system that employs us in ways that are completely beneficial to our clients. We already understand that if we do everything by the book that it is not going to be to the clients' best interest, but for maintaining the machinery in good working form. This isn't to diss or rebel against policy. We need policy. It provides us with foundation, scaffolding, structure, even bricks and mortar. No vine, no matter how beautiful and hardy, is going to thrive without a trellis, or with some kind of support or ballast. The mental health system, which I as an employee am part of, provides that ballast. But shouldn't it be all about the client? This is what empowerment is about. But what kind of empowerment? If I were to persuade any of my clients to flush their meds down the toilet, walk away from the mental health team and live their life just the way they want to, I would be fired from my job, and justifiably so. If harm came to said client, I could be charged with criminal mischief, and rightly so. But what if the client doesn't want medication, indeed refuses to take it, and barring a court order, could simply say no and turn her back on everyone involved in her care? There isn't really a lot I could do, except to try to persuade her to reconsider and, within the framework of the mental health team, offer whatever appropriate support that she would be willing to accept, because she would be needing it. If she would become a danger to herself or to others then she would likely be forcibly apprehended and put on extended leave, obligating her to comply with mental health treatment whether she liked it or not. In the meantime I would be in a rather delicate position, negotiating with the client to help her find her voice without contravening any of the expectations or dictates of my employer. Meanwhile, I would feel equally under pressure to persuade my supervisors to allow me as much wiggle room as possible for the client's wellbeing, knowing that I might have to make free with some of the dictates of policy. All of this while persuading client, supervisor and bosses that I am doing my best on everyone's behalf. Usually this works. Everyone is pleased, they all think that I'm on their side, and I am. Is it any wonder that I often go home exhausted? I work with persons, not with systems and structures. I don't care who it is, I don't care what their role is, they are human beings and we are all companions along the way. We need one another and I think that the synergy that results from working out of a place of unconditional love will do much more for our healing and recovery, client and worker and administration alike because we are all hurting, we are all traumatized and thanks to our clients we are able to learn the ineffable significance of love. It is a messy process, often slow, we seldom know what direction we are taking, but I think that our willingness to work together and to work in a spirit of loving-kindness will in time work miracles.