Surviving The Fall, 8

It`s hard knowing what a reasonable expectation should be, at times. I had a couple of friends, now ex-friends, who used to chime the same tired old cliché (which will give you a clue as to why they are ex-friends. And one of them is also dead, now). Don`t expect a perfect (fill in the blank), because we`re all human and we all make mistakes. So, don`t expect a perfect spouse, partner, job, church, family, neighbourhood, home, country, prime minister (though he would beg to differ, I`m sure!), humanity, world... The chronically, perpetually, and permanently single (such as myself) are often accused of being picky, of wanting only the perfect mate, for example. However, not all of us are meant to be married or partnered. Some of us recognize being single as a valid and legitimate calling or lifestyle choice. Then there are those of us who simply don`t want to have to live through what would be a never-ending mini-series of nightmares, having to make one compromise after another with idiots who can never be pleased, who could be even abusive and murderous, if not just emotionally dangerous to want to live with. And this can be adapted to many other situations that involve coping with the hell that is other people. Nobody is perfect, this is true. So, when does this generous bit of wisdom get taken a bit too far, to the point of justifying, or at least merely excusing the extremes of abuse that some can take things to. Hitler and Pol Pot, after all, were only human. So was Stalin. So was Chairman Mao. As was Jack the Ripper, and need I say more? Part of not drowning in this morass of impending crisis and a huge global Armageddon of unparalleled human stupidity, for me anyway, involves living in balance, and this also implies balancing between maintaining reasonable expectations and accepting the sordid and inalterable realities. I will forgo any situation or friendship that is likely to spiral down into abuse and destruction. some people have a natural survival instinct and this helps rescue them from marriage hell. They also seem remarkably resilient and able to enjoy their solitude. By the way, I did mention during my blog from Costa Rica a chat I had with a rather barmy French-Canadian woman of a certain age who was staying in my bed and breakfast. She really felt sorry for me for being single and tried to buffer it a bit by assuring me that even single people can be as happy as married people. My reply? And some of us are even happier!