God does not need the church. God doesn't need us. He made us. He loves us, because we were created by love, out of love, for love, and that is the part of the divine nature, the true heart of the divine nature that we keep missing. But he is not dependent upon us, neither upon any of our sacred institutions. We of course are, always have been and always are going to be completely dependent on God, because he is the very source and substance and cause and purpose of our being. Which is also to say that the very source, substance, cause and purpose of our being is going to be love. Whether we worship him or not, whether we believe in him or not, whether we attend religious services or not.
I am recalling the Christian retreats I was participating in during the seventies, more specifically in 1977. They were called Live-in and were a joint collaboration between Roman Catholics and Protestants. I participated in three of those retreats, at the ripe age of twenty-one. It was a marvellous experience, further enhanced by the gentleman who helped mentor us because he was a priest, but not just any old priest. He had become an Eastern Catholic, Syrian Rite, of the Order of St. Thomas. Somehow, historically, this particular sect had never been touched or affected by any of the historic divisions of the church, be it the split between Rome and Constantinople during the tenth century, or the Protestant Reformation that came six hundred years later. For this reason he was permitted by the pope to administer the sacraments to any baptized Christian, regardless their faith community or house of worship. I recall especially a mass he celebrated during the first retreat I attended and the sense of God's loving and reconciling presence was so powerful, so sweet and so palpable, that it only could be compared to my experience of being baptized in the Holy Spirit when I was just shy of turning fifteen.
During his concluding address, Marty Tarbell, the Syrian Catholic Priest (who was not ethnically Syrian, by the way) told us that we were not to consider making a church or sect out of Live-in, that live-in was simply what the words said it was, living in, living in God's spirit, presence and love, making each one of us a little live-in, or a live-in in miniature, to bring to the world around us. I took him at his word and have since sought to live out the beautiful reality in daily life what I experienced during those wonderful retreats.
I think this is why I usually have not felt any great need to attend church. This only changed for a decade or so when I was attending St. James, the high Anglican parish in Vancouver. But I acquired an unhealthy, almost a OCD kind of dependence on the sacrament, and eventually found myself distancing from the church, especially given how problematic were the clergy and many of the key members.
I am now done with church, Anglican or any other kind. This doesn't mean that I am never going to attend again, simply that I will never again get involved with the machinery, and will particularly be nurturing what seems to be becoming an allergic reaction to clergy, priests and ministers.
I am treating this as a liberation. I would still welcome opportunities to pray with others. In fact, if I could find, or help give birth, to a community that would be kind of an infra-church, of persons seeking a deep relationship with God, and to live fully in his love as disciples of Christ. I say infra-church, because the idea is that people will still remain involved in their respective churches and denominations, or if they are not so connected, that they could still find in such a community that meets together online and, once the pandemic has ended, in person, but in small groups meeting together in one another's homes. Our purpose would be to nurture, support and equip one another and others as they grow in service and presence in their respective churches, worship groups and communities.
If you are reading this blog right now, and you are seeking something like this, kind of like Live-in light and perpetual, and would like to contact me about this, then please give me your contact information in the comments section of this blog, or, if you already have my contact information, please get in touch.
All for now, Gentle Reader.
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