The only way that I am going to know where I should go from here is by first of all getting to know "here". Where is "Here"? I am remembering a dream that I had a few years ago about being in Medellín, Colombia. I did not know I was in Medellín. All I knew was that I was riding a skytrain, like the one here in Vancouver, but I was in a different city. I saw neighbourhoods with lots of trees and interesting buildings, but I didn't have a clue where I was. Until in February, my friend took me for a ride on the skytrain in Medellín. That was the third site in Colombia that was confirmed by previous dreams, beginning with the highway going through the incredibly beautiful high mountains, the huge plaza with the towering trees in the small city of Villeta. Followed by the skytrain in Medellín? How curious.
I am about as fluent now in Spanish as could happen for practically any non-native speaker. And I have friends and a developing sense of community in Monteverde, Costa Rica, as well as in Colombia, particularly in Medellín, because that is where my friend is now living. But here I am, now, in Vancouver, just having left, forever, I believe, the Anglican Church, I think mostly because God has closed that door for me. Which means that now I must wait for new doors to open. And they will open. They always have in the past, and they will go on opening to me.
I have not forsaken people in the church, but the institution itself. Perhaps I shall one day be re-integrated, perhaps in a different denomination, or something different. Right now, I really don't know. But this much I know. People matter more to me than institutions, I think because people are simply more important than the institutions that purport to represent us. In the future, I may continue to visit St. Faith's, but only to see the people there, because there are people there whom I have grown to love, and I have it on authority that they also do not want to lose me. The priest really does not matter, since I am now done with interacting with paid Christians. Maybe I'll participate in the service, maybe not. That doesn't matter to me. God has long been present to me, everywhere and in everything. I believe that the sacraments play a significant role, but their purpose is not that we become dependent on them but that they train us to open our eyes, our ears and our hearts to the incipient and implicit God that indwells everything that he has made.
In the meantime, I will do my best with what already exists for me. In my work, my apartment building, the friends that God has given me, here in Vancouver and abroad in the US, Israel and in Latin America. I will continue to pray and to seek God's will for me, and I will continue to look for Christ, see him and touch him in others. Even those who oppose me. Even The archbishop, who would rather sue me for being a nuisance than talk with me about how obtain decent pastoral help.. Even the potty-mouth priest who just ended our friendship, clearly taking sides with the archbishop against me. In obedience to Christ's call, I am still friend to all who would receive me as their friend. We are called to reconciliation.
And later...Who only knows....?
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