I have come to believe that the church badly needs to redefine heresy. It has long been thought to mean straying from or violating key doctrines and teachings of the Christian faith, always depending on the flavour of pope in charge, of course. At its worst extreme, thousands, likely millions of innocent lives were sacrificed to the bonfires of the Inquisition and the Crusades. But no one has ever been branded with the charge of heresy for not loving. But any careful reading of the Gospels will reveal that this is the message of love. Any real understanding of the life and ministry of Jesus, even for those who don't happen to believe in him, will reveal that he not only is the messenger of love but that Jesus Christ himself is the message of love. And that anyone who loves from their hearts is a messenger of Christ.
I have really strayed from the church. But not from Jesus. This isn't to say that I don't need other Christians in my life, and fortunately I have friends who are walking the same path as I am and we do much to support and encourage and pray with one another. And it would be nice to again be part of a formal faith community, and that could always happen again in the future. I don't know. But I would prefer this to be in a situation where simony isn't practiced, unlike in the Anglican Church. There, you are recommended to get a spiritual director, and they always charge money for their services. Not in the spirit of the Gospels.
It would also have to in a place where the archbishop is not going to send her lawyer after me just because I was trying to get her and one of miserable priests to respond when I was sincerely and legitimately in need of pastoral support. So that rules out the Anglican Church. Have I forgiven them? Yes. But I am not giving them a chance to hurt me again. Neither am I not letting them off the hook because that kind of abuse of authority they should never be allowed to get away with, given how many others could, and probably already have, been hurt by them. And who knows how many suicides and suicide attempts can be realistically traced to priests, clergy and archbishops abusing their authority and treating like crap and garbage the most vulnerable who come to them for help.
The church that I seek to be part of is not a perfect church. But there will have to be strong and underlying foundations of love in place in order for me to be able to participate. What else am I looking for? A place where people become authentic friends to one another, opening our hearts, our lives and our homes to one another. But it would also have to be place where the stranger is not only welcome, but made to be as though they have found their home among us. It would have to be a place where we really do walk beside one another, no price tags, no contemptuous indifference, but people really striving to live out the blessed reality of unconditional love. It will be a place where mistakes are made, but because we have the courage to make our mistakes, but also where we are prepared to learn from and make reparation for our errors in acts of true reconciliation, not simply with First Nations, or any other form of tasteless public tub thumping or virtue signalling.
I think we could be people who are receptive and open, and prepared to reflect Christ in our lives, which means that we are open to the redemptive work of love in our lives. I have no idea how that would look. It is so hard to set something like this in motion, without a major work of the presence of the Holy Spirit. And I don't think we are ever going to really get it right. I certainly am not ever going to get it right. But we can at least try. Without excluding people just because we are threatened by their vulnerability.
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